Dooney & Bourke

Spoiler Alert: I don’t own this bag

but, fuck, I want to. And I’m mad that I want it because I’m not the kind of girl who normally gives a wit about shoes or a bag. In fact, I don’t usually even call it a bag, I call it a purse -you know, like people in the late 1900’s did before Sex And the City came along and made me feel like a loser for using that word. I currently carry around a bright pink Jessica Simpson purse that I purchased at TJMaxx for under forty bucks. Under forty bucks I feel is just the right price for something that is essentially in charge of bussing your wallet and keys from point A to point D with a few stops at point B and possibly C. Do I have a bunch more stuff in my purse besides wallet and keys? Yes but I don’t know if I really need it or if because I have a big purse I just shove stuff in because -why not? It’s sort of like if you have a lot of cabinets in your house, chances are they will all be full of crap that you don’t need to throw out because you have the space for it. II happen to have a glass multi-level cake plate that I will never in a million years put together let alone use but yet it sits there in my kitchen cabinet because I have the space. Nature abhorrs a vacuum (and I abhorr vacuuming but that’s another story).

So my new bag obsession started innocently enough: my nanny, Liz has a Dooney & Bourke purse in a giraffe design and I’ve always thought it was pretty cute even though when I found out how much she paid for it I almost coughed up a hairball. “WHY WOULD ANYONE SPEND THAT KIND OF CAKE ON A PURSE?” I screamed in my head. There are just so many more important things to spend my money on…like my nanny’s salary for one. And I have my pink purse already. I’m quite content with my pink purse. Yes, the fact that it’s a Jessica Simpson is goofy and when I saw it I thought, “no way can I buy a Jessica Simpson purse because that’s ridiculous.” But then I thought, “I must buy the Jessica Simpson purse because of the mere fact of its ridiculousnessness! The more ridiculousness we can bring into the world the better and if Jessica and Joe Simpson make money off of my need for ridiculousnesses that’s just the price I pay.” Plus, I make up a little story in my head that I’m secretly being ironic. I know I’m self absorbed. Whatever.

The thing is that I was just fine the way I was until Dooney & Bourke and it’s funkiness was brought to my attention. And so I started fishing around on eBay for the giraffe satchel until I found one and then I secretly coveted it until want got the best of me and I even bid on the bag. I bid and got sucked in to the bidding until I was sitting at my computer sweating and breathing heavy with two minutes to go in the auction. There were like 18 bidders for the damn PRE-OWNED purse! I went up way over what I think the purse is worth because was swept away in sheer want, need for something that I was sure would make my life better. Fortunately or unfortunately I was in over my head because these bitches were like Beverly Hills ladies fighting over a sale rack at Neiman Marcus. We were having a virtual tug o’war and in the end I let go of the rope. Somehow I came to my senses and realized that I didn’t need it, just the mere want of it was serving as a distraction to my recent existance with two shrieking children (they are shrieking as I write this). I thought it would bring me solace. But I never bought it and I felt better, that is until I saw that damn leopard purse. Now I’m screwed.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on August 25, 2010 9:39 pmUncategorized18 comments  


  1. rebecca said,

    Have you ever thought about buying one of those knock off purses? The ones that look just like the real thing but are totally fake? You live in L.A. girl, get yourself a knockoff.
    rebecca´s last blog post ..The Importance of Blogs

    | August 25, 2010 @ 11:33 pm

  2. Molly said,

    I love coach. It’s my once vice. I drive a really old car. I wear flip flops. I shop at places like charlotte russe. But I love me some coach purses. I only buy them from outlet malls though! It’s how I justify it.

    | August 26, 2010 @ 12:22 am

  3. meoskop said,

    After cancer at 39 I became addicted to tokidoki bags at 42. It’s money. It should buy me things. things used on ebay, maybe, but things I like because how long do I think I’m going to live? If it’s 107, I will have had nice purses to carry every day.

    | August 26, 2010 @ 3:46 am

  4. Backpacking Dad said,

    I get that way when I see a new backpack that can carry 5 more pounds of kid than my old one.
    Backpacking Dad´s last blog post ..Backpacking Dad Goes to Canada Triptravaganza! Part Four

    | August 26, 2010 @ 6:01 am

  5. Dawn said,

    Buying a new purse is my vice when I’m feeling down. Although more often than not I talk myself out of spending the ridiculous amount of money they want for the ones I like – ocassionally I throw caution to the wind! I have bought a couple of knock off’s in the past but, have concluded they are not worth it – they never last.

    | August 26, 2010 @ 12:33 pm

  6. NT said,

    I’m in love with a D&B satchel right now too. I “visited” it yesterday in fact when looking for something else at a department store. But I can’t bring myself to spend that much money on a purse!
    NT´s last blog post ..After the Realization

    | August 26, 2010 @ 4:26 pm

  7. Aunt Becky said,

    I’m a purse pusher and spend an absurd amount on purses. I won’t slap you silly. I’ll tell you that you need it. And DESERVE it, dammit.

    | August 26, 2010 @ 4:31 pm

  8. Gamanda said,

    Just throwing this out there, b/c I get my purses off the sale rack in Target, but maybe you need to reevaluate what you pay your nanny. No way should she be totting around something YOU covet. At the very least, I think you could justify buying yourself one with the mindset: if my nanny deserves to get paid well enough to make a purchase like this for watching our kids, I deserve a bag twice that size for incubating, birthing AND disciplining them!
    Gamanda´s last blog post ..Let’s move on to something happier- shall we

    | August 26, 2010 @ 6:10 pm

  9. Kelly said,

    I have a thing for expensive bags. I buy my clothes at Target about 90% of the time, but I always have a nice purse.

    The other thing with spending a chunk on it is it will last a long time. Not like a forty dollar purse long time, it will last for years. I have a couple that are ten years old at least and still look brand new. Splurge a little, you deserve it. You’ve done a lot for yourself, in the last year. It’s just a couple hundred dollars…for real.

    | August 26, 2010 @ 6:50 pm

  10. Kir said,

    LOL…I love purses, they don’t have to be D&B, but I can understand the NAKED want of the bag.

    hold tight, my friend…maybe I can get you a knock off in NYC tomorrow 🙂
    Kir´s last blog post ..Almost Wordless Wednesday- Cuteness &amp Conundrum

    | August 26, 2010 @ 7:25 pm

  11. seekingclarav said,

    Just get it. If all you have ever spent on your “purses” is a lousy $40 here and there than you have this one, season-less bag coming your way. Right? Call it an early holiday gift, whatever gets you through. Think about how much dough you have saved not buying booze over the past year. See, there ya go. Done.

    And, fall is coming, you can’t carry a pink bag in fall. This all coming from the girl who never shops and carries a wallet and cell phone around in one hand and a toddler in the other.
    seekingclarav´s last blog post ..Peanut brittle

    | August 26, 2010 @ 10:27 pm

  12. Katy said,

    Oh, buy the damned purse. Seriously — it always lifts me up when I purchase something long desired. People ask, but does it actually make you feel better? Hell yeah, walking down the street (modify for L.A. applicability), knowing I’m at least master of my own sartorial destiny. I can control little these days, but at least my shoes are fierce.

    I’m not a purse gal (Jack Spade messenger bag), but then I do the dress-down Brooklyn thing. My sickest vice is my haircut, which cost approximately what John Edwards’ did. But I only go twice(ish) a year.

    Oh yeah, and I have to pay for preschool in NYC for at least another two years. Lest you think I have anything that remotely resembles disposable income.

    Burn this after reading.

    | August 27, 2010 @ 1:37 am

  13. Kate said,

    One of the few thongs I own had a big, honkin’ J.Lo label on it. At some point I was horrified by the fact that I wore underwear supposedly designed by J.Lo, but then I kind of forgot (and maybe cut out the label). Plus, if anyone knows butts, it’s her.

    So, power to your Jessica Simpson purse.

    | August 27, 2010 @ 2:16 am

  14. Wendi said,

    I also say “purse,” but now I’m worried it makes me sound geriatric.

    Should I not be saying “bloomers” either? “Talking picture show”? Fuck.

    | August 28, 2010 @ 1:53 pm

  15. Kim said,

    Bags or bottles — I take the former! Love purses although I”m obsessed with patent leather. Thank God the fashion police (hey, you’re the police you need the uniform too!) say patent is now year round.

    You are a published author and for goodness sakes you’re saving lives. Get the bag and another…. and another….shoes to match too!


    | September 2, 2010 @ 9:37 pm

  16. Jae said,

    I sell bags (Initials Inc.) and I COVET that bag! Drooling, slobbering over it!
    Jae´s last blog post ..Because of You

    | September 5, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

  17. Laura said,

    I’m going to be in the minority with this comment…. and granted, I am not a purse/bag person, but I don’t think that bag looks any better than a TJ Maxx purse. If you love it and will feel awesome while carrying it, then go for it. But, I honestly don’t see the difference. And, I don’t think this pattern of bag will be one of those timeless bags you’ll be carrying years from now — instead, I think it will be dated. The reason I love carrying MY Jessica Simpson bag is that I enjoy its funky color now and know that I won’t feel guilty when I’m tired of it and give it to goodwill when I find me another TJ Maxx deal.

    I think it is easy to get caught up in the awesomeness of something if you’re online researching something because those who are REALLY INTO those type of things (bags, etc.) are the ones commenting/bidding on them. However, if you’ve decided that you are one of those people — GO FOR IT!

    | September 7, 2010 @ 2:53 pm

  18. Momwith3boys said,

    Who knew D & B had such cute bags… Just get the damn thing. Clara’s right – no pink come fall!
    Momwith3boys´s last blog post ..Feelings

    | September 10, 2010 @ 10:53 pm

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