Ex Alkie Mommy Who Used to Be Known For Writing Funny Funny Books: The Stefanie Wilder-Taylor Story

So today I’m driving my minivan in to Hollywood to tape Larry King Live -although don’t run to your TiVo because it’s not actually live, it’s being taped for an upcoming Friday (possibly this Friday). Naturally it’s about drinking or not drinking as the case may be because I’m the go-to blabber mouth ex-wine swilling mom who kind of had a career as an author that wrote about drinking being a fantastically good old time to be shared with other wino mommies. Or so people thought. In actuality, I wrote a lot of jokes about drinking and made funny references to celebrities who liked their substances a little too much. It was on the Today Show that I got my rep as a defender of the wine playdate. Which, by the way, was blown out of proportion because I was always saying that there is nothing wrong with getting together with your friends and having a glass of wine to relax. I never said to have a bottle of wine then smoke a joint then go into your host’s bathroom, rifle through their medicine chest to see if you can find some left over Vicodin from the root canal they had last spring and maybe swig a few shots of their kid’s cough medicine with codeine while flushing the toilet over and over to cover the noise. So, if you ever did that, don’t blame me. Do as I say not as I do.

Drinking was cool for me and it worked to lessen the anxiety I felt as a new mom. It also helped bond me with other moms who still enjoyed an adult pastime like having a glass of wine. It worked until it stopped working and became a problem. I’ve talked that to death. But the thing is, it’s interesting to people that I seem to have no fear chatting about my decision as if I just got a shitty haircut and felt the need to permanently change hairdressers -which is dramatic, don’t get me wrong.

What I’m finding out is that a whole lot of women out there have a problem with alcohol and these women are not homeless, gutter drunks or slurry abusive moms swilling vanilla extract and mouth wash when they run out of Bushmills. Many of us problem drinking moms simply have too much wine, at night, by ourselves or with our husbands, while our children are asleep and out of harm’s way. But we know inside that the wine stopped helping and is now hurting and we can’t seem to moderate or quit and we don’t like where it’s headed. We need help and we need to hear from another mom who gets it. So when I’m asked to be on a show, I usually say yes.

My husband, Jon, is not psyched that I’m going to be on Larry King. He feels that I’m losing my identity as anything other than “That Mom Who Used To Drink Too Much.” He may be right. But, Tom Arnold is going to be there. And Dr. Drew! And I have some questions for Dr. Drew! Like what’s with the pout? Does he practice that in the mirror? Does he place his chin just so on top of his fist while he practices? Does his wife give him shit about it? Has he ever wanted to haul off and punch Kari Ann in the spleen? Does he really think the chick on Celebrity Rehab that was on the past season of America’s Next Top Model should have been a constestant on that show? If so, does he think I could be? And if not, is it because I’m fat? Does he really think I’m fat? Or does he think I should be the next Bachelorette? Also, just how unfamous can you be to be approved by him for Celebrity Rehab? These are things I need to get to the bottom of.

I suppose there are worse things to do with yourself when you quit drinking than spreading the word that it is possible to quit right? I figure that I can be a funny mom/writer and a humorous ex-drinker at the same time. I’m a woman -I can multi-task! And share a Diet Coke with Mackenzie Phillips while I’m at it. So, I’ll be leaving in a couple of hours to do it and hopefully I’ll have some good stories for you when I get back.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on March 1, 2010 8:59 pmDrinking,Uncategorized41 comments  


  1. Aunt Becky said,

    Good luck, yo. You’ll rock it.
    .-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Next on Hoarders: Your Aunt Becky =-.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 9:08 pm

  2. Momwith3boys said,

    You are f-,#^!g Hilarious!!!!!!! Who cares what your label is.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 9:13 pm

  3. trifitmom said,

    wow ?how did i not know all this ? please if we miss it have a vid of it on your site !!!
    .-= trifitmom´s last blog ..Breakdown =-.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 9:19 pm

  4. mischa said,

    Good luck! Hey, ladies – here is what I was talking about the other day… all this stuff is related and many times it can be traced to mineral imbalances in the body. I used to have terrible sugar cravings until I started supplementing my minerals and now I have none at all… I’m just saying… isn’t this worth considering???


    | March 1, 2010 @ 9:39 pm

  5. rebecca said,

    Just don’t let larry king torment you. Don’t let him get under your nails. He seems so grumpy and mean. If he hurts your feelings let me know cause I’ll walk ten thousand miles to slug him in the jaw.
    .-= rebecca´s last blog ..My Four Year Old Singing. =-.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 9:55 pm

  6. seekingclarav said,

    Ok, first off, the Dr. Drew pout thing had me rolling! Please let me know the answer to that! I think, because you didn’t ask,that is is perfectly awesome to be great at multiple things, which clearly you are. You are a hilarious, sassy, kick ass writer, and a really great ex-alchi. So work it!

    You have helped so many women with your openness & honesty, it’s sort of crazy. That truth should be enough to keep you rolling through Larry King.

    Good Luck!!
    .-= seekingclarav´s last blog ..Magnetic letters to God =-.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 10:01 pm

  7. Amanda said,

    I loves me some Dr. Drew.

    I do’s not loves me some Keri Ann.
    Oh, and don’t EVEN get me started on Keri Ann.

    No doctor I ever had in rehab looked like him.

    Which is probably for the best.
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Ever wonder how I got here???? =-.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 11:00 pm

  8. Carolyn Online said,

    I think it’s great that you’re doing Larry King Live. I mean… not “doing” Larry King. Live. Because that would be gross. Sorry… I forgot what I was going to say and now I have to go wash my brain out with soap.
    .-= Carolyn Online´s last blog ..A better you through humiliation. =-.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 11:06 pm

  9. Katie said,

    Break a leg! (show business speak, right?) For me sometimes you just have to do something or be someone 100%. Maybe right now is your “that mom who used to drink too much” time. Then you’ll more on. It’s still pretty new, no?
    Good luck, have fun.

    | March 1, 2010 @ 11:16 pm

  10. abdpbt said,

    Will you please, please, ask Dr. Drew to go to an Alanon meeting, for the love of Christ? Thanks.
    .-= abdpbt´s last blog ..Chocolate Crepe Cake =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 12:29 am

  11. Corinne said,

    I think you’re much more than just the mom who used to drink and write funny books. But why not help a few others out while owning up to a part of who you are now? The woman who is brave, recovering, and able to speak out to many women who might not know that there’s help.
    .-= Corinne´s last blog ..Perfect words {not by me…} =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 1:19 am

  12. nikki said,

    I’d try to seduce Dr. Drew. But maybe that’s just me.
    .-= nikki´s last blog .."An eerie glow was beginning to fill the dollhouse"….or The Dollhouse Murders =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 1:29 am

  13. Gail said,

    I wouldn’t be sober 30 days without you so put that on Larry King’s hair and blow dry it. And yes, okay so your blabber helps me alot, so sue me. But it’s your humor that helps me bring this disease to its knees whilst laughing loudly out of one side of my mouth and prayin’ from the other. So damn proud of you.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 1:48 am

  14. Sarah said,

    OOH, I have a mad crush on Dr Drew. Ever since Loveline.

    Congrats – good luck!

    | March 2, 2010 @ 2:37 am

  15. Sadie said,

    Dr. Drew’s pout is priceless! And I bet he does practice it…

    | March 2, 2010 @ 3:26 am

  16. Lisa Rae @ smacksy said,

    You are phenomenal.
    .-= Lisa Rae @ smacksy´s last blog ..Parts =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 4:19 am

  17. ivy doffing said,

    You will do great! Can’t wait to hear all about it.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 4:38 am

  18. Daily Cup of Jo said,

    By now, you’re done with Larry King, so I didn’t get you to ask him why his body keeps getting smaller and his head keeps getting bigger. You had enough questions for Dr. Drew anyway.

    12-stepping is admirable, and let’s face it – AA hasn’t quite figured out the etiquette on internet “attraction rather than promotion”. Go for it. You’re obviously helping people and look, you haven’t lost any of your comic edge. Or did you used to be funnier? Impossible.
    .-= Daily Cup of Jo´s last blog ..Monday morning quarterback: Chile, hiking in the rain, Girl Scout cookies, the Closing Ceremonies and health care (once more, with feeling) =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 6:12 am

  19. geekymummy said,

    It is great what you are doing. I”m a mum who still drinks wine, and I still like your blog. Anyone can get in trouble with alcohol, and mums have a special vulnerability. stories like yours prompt self examination. I personally examined myself, and found myself still a responsible social drinker, the closest I got to boozehound was when finishing up my PhD (would drive almost anyone to drink). Very best of luck with the show.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 7:01 am

  20. Shannon Kieta said,

    Huh, No wonder you don’t want to follow my blog, you are too famous! Everywhere I look I see you. Even in my magazine! You wouldn’t have time to drink even if you wanted to! LOL I am proud of you for all of your accomplishments and your TV appearances. NOW, go to Keeping up with the Kieta’s and make me famous by following by poor life-less blog that I am about to give up on! Thank you!!!!! πŸ™‚ Luv YA! Shannon!

    | March 2, 2010 @ 12:18 pm

  21. Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said,

    You are a funny writer and I can’t wait to hear the stories! Give Dr. Drew a wink for me.
    .-= Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist´s last blog ..10 Rules for Writing =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 12:54 pm

  22. Kevin Lee said,

    You’re sharing your gift for taking the difficult, the mudane–the terifying!–thing that is life and finding the humor in it.

    I think we all treasure it. Rock on!

    One thing I’d love to hear you’re take on is those who don’t want to see you change. It always happens; many people are uncomfortable with change and resist it when they see it in others. Even if they know it will benefit the other in the long run.

    God Bless You for your Friday forum.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 1:31 pm

  23. Ellie said,

    You know what I love about you? That you speak so eloquently and honestly about your problem with alcohol, you have helped SO MANY people, and you are still drop-dead-hands-down-funny. You are still who you are, with just a little less Vino and Vicodin. My guess is that you’re funnier and more interesting now than you ever were.

    And Dr. Drew is completely delicious in person. I met him briefly after I was on Oprah and I just about died I was so star struck. I’m completely obsessed with Celebrity Rehab, so could you do us all a favor and get those questions answered? I mean, really, Kari Ann? What is UP with her?

    Go get ’em. You’ll do great.

    .-= Ellie´s last blog ..Twice Monthly Giveaway – New Item! =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 1:32 pm

  24. Elizabeth said,

    I cannot WAIT to see this. Please let us know which Friday this is airing. So glad you’re representing ex-drinking mommies like us. And Celeb Rehab is the greatest!

    | March 2, 2010 @ 2:35 pm

  25. Christina said,

    you make me wish I had television. I’m super psyched for you, good luck and have a great time!
    .-= Christina´s last blog ..DDSD =-.

    | March 2, 2010 @ 3:11 pm

  26. Kir said,

    can’t wait to see you on Larry King. I never watch him..so he’ll have me for an hour while he interviews you πŸ™‚

    Go get em!!!!!

    | March 2, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

  27. Midnight Madness lady said,

    You’re jus keepin’ it real for us! Re: diagrams- you can rule the world with powerpoint and photoshop!

    | March 2, 2010 @ 11:58 pm

  28. Mary said,

    This is why you continue to strike a chord with me and why I continue to admire the hell out of you. From the first time I saw you on the Today Show, to your books and your blog, I am just so freakin’ thankful. You see, there is this grey area that has baffled me for years… do I have a problem or don’t I? Well, you nailed it on this last post. “Wine worked until it didn’t”. There has been no huge falling out, DUI, divorce, children being taken away, rehab or major black outs in my life. There has been no huge rock bottom I guess I have been waiting for to tell me definitively that yes I am an alcoholic. BUT, “wine worked until it didn’t”. If you can reach people like me that are in this grey in between area, you are on to something. I think we are the hardest to reach because we are the ones who can slip through you know?
    Stefanie, in my opinion,you are doing it girl with style, grace and lots of humor and I for one can’t thank you enough. It is because of you that tomorrow I have 5 months without alcohol.

    | March 3, 2010 @ 12:24 am

  29. Marie said,

    You crack me up! Go, Ms. Wilder, go!


    | March 3, 2010 @ 2:53 am

  30. Lulu said,

    You’ll be awesome. I think Larry King should leave the set and just let you interview Dr. Drew. I, by the way, think Tom Arnold is under-rated. Please pass it on as I’m pretty sure he cares about my opinion.
    .-= Lulu´s last blog ..Bedtime Shenanigans =-.

    | March 3, 2010 @ 4:56 am

  31. Lulu said,

    You’ll be awesome. I think Larry King should leave the set and just let you interview Dr. Drew. I, by the way, think Tom Arnold is under-rated. Please pass it on as I’m pretty sure he cares about my opinion.
    .-= Lulu´s last blog ..Bedtime Shenanigans =-.

    | March 3, 2010 @ 4:56 am

  32. Sami said,

    Hey better than being the mom who still drinks too much.

    Please ask Larry King if I could be his next ex-wife. (It’s worth a shot… seems like a pretty easy gig)

    | March 3, 2010 @ 2:39 pm

  33. Sami said,

    Also I second what what Mary said in her 12:24pm post.

    You are brave.

    Completely and utterly yourself at all times – comfortable with it or not. You are so HONEST. That is a rare quality in a person and rarer still in a woman

    (Us goils have insecurities about our insecurities and it’s hard express that outhere in public so we pretend to feel comfortable, pretty and sure when we’re not which is very stressful, no?)

    You are a breath of fresh air – a pointer-outer of another path we could take or choice we could make.

    The amounts of alcohol drunk by many of us are considered ‘normal’ in many mom-land social circles. Only inside we all know it’s not.

    I believe you have saved lives and saved entire families that otherwise would have drowned in alcohol

    | March 3, 2010 @ 2:47 pm

  34. Ellen M said,

    To me, you’re so much more than “That Mom Who Used To Drink Too Much.” You’re “That Funny Lady Who Makes Awesomely Snarky Comments on the Last Page of Us Magazine that I Read on Friday Nights While Eating Pizza and Watching DVR’d Project Runway.” Now that’s multi-tasking for you.
    .-= Ellen M´s last blog ..Weaning from the Pump: Day Two =-.

    | March 3, 2010 @ 5:17 pm

  35. Kathryn said,

    listen, girl, you are doing so many people a service by bringing a modern-day-oh-so-predictable problem to light (and one day a movie, as I see it, based on BFB); AND making it funny but not so funny. You are too much the smart ass to be ONLY the one who used to drink. And you know the best part? You are still f*&&^#ing funny and you’re SOBER! As some people will think that scenario of rifling through the medicine cabinet may be ludicrous…others of us cringe and laugh at the same time. Just think, the next funny subject could be sober sex. Although, your husband may like that LESS……can’t wait to see the show – rock it!

    | March 3, 2010 @ 5:34 pm

  36. Jennie said,

    Very well said! Good luck on the show. You are helping a LOT of people by talking about this stuff. Humor is a gift and a necessity in this life and you’ve got it in spades!
    .-= Jennie´s last blog ..Pixie Dust for the Soul =-.

    | March 3, 2010 @ 8:54 pm

  37. Mommy on the Spot said,

    I canNOT wait to see this! Please, please, please you must ask Dr. Drew those questions. I have a crush on him and all, but can’t stand that pout. He is a man of great strength, not punching Kari Ann and all. I know she has a disease, and I try to be understanding, but WOW! She’s a bit much to take. I bet Shelley wanted to smack her!!

    Hope the interview went well!

    | March 4, 2010 @ 1:33 am

  38. Wishing4One said,

    Oh i am so happy, i get Larry King here in Cairo, yeah! Its delayed a day but I will see you! Good luck and do tell what Dr. Drew’s answers were, that should be funny as shit!
    .-= Wishing4One´s last blog ..5 weeks, 4 days =-.

    | March 4, 2010 @ 11:32 am

  39. Redneck Mommy said,

    This post is why you are a blogging hero of mine.

    Because not only can you do it all, but you do it well and with class.
    .-= Redneck Mommy´s last blog ..Nickelback Makes the World a Better Place =-.

    | March 5, 2010 @ 9:14 pm

  40. Kendra said,

    I can understand your husband’s feelings, and it would be a damn shame if you became known as “that lady who used to drink all the time and then became known as the ex-drinking mommy blogger.” But as far as I’m concerned you’re primarily the author of “Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay,” which is my favorite baby shower gift, and secondly the author of your other books (equally funny, but I didn’t need them as badly as I needed the first, if that makes sense). Somewhere down the line, you’re a lady who’s been very open about her drinking and helpful to other people.

    I can’t wait to see Larry King, though. I hope you get to ask Dr Drew all your questions!
    .-= Kendra´s last blog ..This Evil Future Brough to You By =-.

    | March 8, 2010 @ 12:01 am

  41. WarsawMommy said,

    Yes, there are SO many of us Moms who are non-practicing alcoholics (myself included) and a huge number of Moms who are indeed still actively drinking.

    I stopped drinking before my first son was born, so I cannot imagine having used to alcohol to blur the edges and ease the stress and dull the hard stuff. I have done it all – including postpartum depression – stone cold sober. Though I’ve been driven to the point a few times of really, REALLY wanting a drink to cope with the crap that kids can bring to your life. I haven’t given in, though….

    I’ll keep an eye out for you on Larry King – I imagine it will be well worth scouring the internet for πŸ˜‰
    .-= WarsawMommy´s last blog ..Happy Women’s Day! =-.

    | March 8, 2010 @ 2:02 pm

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