Isn’t This Rich?

Sadie got weighed today and although still a feather weight, she came in at 19 lbs. 2 oz. Okay, fine, maybe she was 19 lbs 1 and 1/2 oz but let’s not split hairs okay? Let’s just call it 2 oz and not try to ruin the rest of my day. Jesus! Anyway, as I was saying the kid is closing in on 20 lbs. which will be a wonderful milestone provided she’s not seven years old when it happens. Unfortunately her movement up the growth chart is more slow than a glacier so according to Patricia, it’s inevitable that we will be seeing an endocrinolgist in the not so distant future. “We have to remember that Sadie has IUGR,” Patricia said (possibly because I was looking agitated – although I could be agitated for a number of reasons; almost 6 weeks without alcohol in my system, Wes getting a rose on Bachelorette or residual guilt over the five pieces of pizza I sucked down last night with salad and bread sticks ((four of them))).

“I haven’t forgotten she’s an IUGR baby,” I said. And I haven’t. Not for one minute of one day since I first googled it while still pregnant. Honestly it’s pretty hard to forget that Sadie is different considering she takes twenty minutes to eat one piece of pasta, how much therapy she has and how far she still has to come. “Just look at the difference between Sadie and Mattie. It’s a constant reminder,” I added. Which brought our attention to Matilda.

“Do you want to weigh her?” Patricia asked.

“Sure. Why not.” So we put her chubbalicious self on the scale and I almost had a heart attack (if I wasn’t so worried that Mattie would have one first).

She weighs 28 lbs. Oh yeah. She’s between 75th and 90th percentile in weight and 25th in height. She’s built like a snowman. And you know why? Because the beyotch pilfers all of Sadie’s Pediasure and helps herself to all the fattening food that Sadie leaves behind. So now, I have an underweight child and an overweight child which is awesome because I have to make different food for Mattie and different food for Sadie and different food for Elby and then order take-out for me and Jon because I’m too fucking tired to lift a finger to make one more meal at the end of the day. Plus, Pediasure is going to be on lockdown for the time being and doled out just during mealtime so I can keep an eagle eye on it.

But I am going to look on the bright side. Sadie is gaining. One day this will all be okay. We start speech therapy tomorrow. I have a strong feeling Sadie will learn like 100 new words. Let’s hope a few of them are curse words so I’m not the only one swearing around here.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on July 1, 2009 1:00 amUncategorized39 comments  


  1. Ms. Wobbly Bits said,

    OMG you crack me up! Thanks for the laugh. Glad S. is gaining weight and M. is still ok right? Shes not like in the 105% percentile. My 8 month old weighs 20 lbs and that without the good stuff around.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 2:47 am

  2. Cass said,

    You are so damned funny about things that make you sad. ((hugs)) I have weight gaining issues with my own twins, although they weren't IUGR, so I feel like I know what you're going through to a certain extent. God bless you and those sweet little angels you call your children. And I am seriously LMAO at the idea of her learning swear words so that you have a buddy! ((more hugs))

    | July 1, 2009 @ 3:17 am

  3. Summer said,

    ooooh, mama!!!

    Okay, so I know you are saying no to alcohol…but seriously, let's talk Xanax.

    I always say, God works through medication. =)

    And laughter…but you have that one down.


    | July 1, 2009 @ 3:32 am

  4. Beth said,

    Your girls are soooo cute (in their velour pants, love it!) that I can barely take it. They both look "the perfect size" (whatever that is)… seriously, they BOTH look so beautiful AND healthy!

    Glad to hear that Sadie is gaining. She WILL catch up. We had an IUGR scare with Adam (long story — if you're interested let me know, and I'll fill you…) and I remember reading that kids catch up around age 2. Keep it up with the Pediasure… it REALLY helped Adam pack on a few pounds (when he keeps it down, of course). 🙂

    | July 1, 2009 @ 3:43 am

  5. MereCat said,

    Alright, enough with the advice, I know. But I'm going to sling one more your way… cream cheese… the flavored kind…make a sandwich. Whatever flavor you think will fly (we do salmon, how bizzare.) But you can load the 'sandwich" fuller for one than the other. I have a similar problem in that one won't eat, and the other will eat that which his sister leaves. It's tough to manage twins eating habits when they are so young. And I refuse to be a short order cook. If it's any consolation, mine are just over two and are now learning to "trade" foods with each other.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 3:52 am

  6. Alison aka Baby B said,

    Ah, Pediasure, that gift from the gods. I'm glad Sadie's sucking it down!!

    Sadie and Mattie are both GORGEOUS.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 4:01 am

  7. Trish said,

    Oh Lord. God, the Fates, SOMEONE out there has one sick, sick sense of humor.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 4:25 am

  8. Catwoman said,

    I swear I'm beginning to worry that Mattie is plotting ways to simply eat Sadie to get to the good stuff. Probably figures it's easier that way than the energy-wasting pilfering. I wouldn't take my eyes off that one, no matter how cute she might be.

    As for Sadie, she's decided that things come in small packages. Like Dolly Parton. And Michael J. Fox.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 4:28 am

  9. em said,

    I am hoping my 23 month old hits the 20 lb mark by her 2nd birthday. And as she is an only child, Mama is left to eat all her left-overs. Not cool kid, not cool at all. Now I need to rent a sibling or a billy goat so that I can fit into my pants. Raising a piece (or ahem, a few) of Mozza's finest in your honor.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 7:12 am

  10. Shannon said,

    Awwww Steph, the girls are adorable! Honest to God, I couldn't tell either one of them has anything wrong with them. My daughter is 10 months and is 23 1/2 lbs (breaking my back) 31 in long. That's what I get for picking a tall man. My 4 yr old; just turned 4 in May weighs 75lbs, is over 4 ft tall. So be blessed you can at least HOLD YOUR CHILDREN!!!! Oh, by the way… please get off your ass and do this weeks Roadkill on the Bachelorette. It's like..Wednesday!!! I live for this shit! Keep up the good work being a good writer and a great mama!

    | July 1, 2009 @ 11:17 am

  11. Kendra said,

    Oh, that's got to be so tough. My littlest one is also built like a snowman (I'm keeping that one!) and I'm trying to convince myself that it's fine, since she's 15 months old. Considering that my oldest is shaped like a reed and won't eat anything and my middle one is heavier but thinning since he's picking up his brother's eating habits, I really don't want to head down the path of cooking separate.

    Honestly, every time I look at my little chunky Matilda, I think of "fatty Mattie" and conclude that it's just cute! (Besides, she loves lifing her shirt and patting her belly, so it can't be bad.)

    Maybe you can find a chain of delivery restaurants that specializes in five different meals for everyone in the family!

    | July 1, 2009 @ 12:54 pm

  12. Aunt Becky said,

    Pass the pizza this way, Stef.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 5:07 pm

  13. Carolyn...Online said,

    You know you think it's gonna be all fun and team building when your kids cuss at you… but not so much.

    Glad Sadie's gaining. And just hide the Pediasure on the top shelf with the chocolate that is for mommy's only.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 5:24 pm

  14. Rebecca said,

    When my daughter was around 8 or 9 months old she was 24 pounds. I loved her little fat rolls. I taught her to 'pat her fat'. She'd just stand up while holding on to the couch and smack her chubby little thighs. Then genetics took over sometime around 2 years old and she's not so chubby anymore.

    Now her 2 year old brother on the other hand is just barely 24 pounds. He's a skinny guy, a short guy…sorry kid, you have too many of my genes.

    Anyway, she's gaining and that's great!!! They both look amazing!!!

    | July 1, 2009 @ 7:57 pm

  15. jen said,

    I am so happy to hear miss maddie is gaining weight. That magical 20 lbs. isn't too far off (or the day you feel comfortable lying to anyone who asks how much she weighs and respond with 20 lbs.!) My sara loves her speech therapy (much more than her PT). Hopefully maddie will be the same. At the very least the speech therapists are good at interpreting what the f**k your child is saying.

    | July 1, 2009 @ 8:50 pm

  16. Lisa said,

    My two year old just started saying "Oh God". That was after I discovered her naked and poopy in her crib…

    | July 1, 2009 @ 9:11 pm

  17. Wendi said,

    With lines like "she's built like a snowman" you should definitely be calling Tyra to ask for a job as one of the judges on ANTM. How could she refuse?

    | July 1, 2009 @ 11:23 pm

  18. Diane said,

    I love snowmen! They are both so adorable! (I love the little toy grill in the photo too.) Glad they are enjoying themselves so much.

    | July 2, 2009 @ 12:01 am

  19. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said,

    I too am built like a snowman so I can sympathize with Mattie.

    If it makes you feel any better most of the time I cook three meals for four people not because of any health issues because my kids are stubborn and I am just out of fight by dinnertime.

    | July 2, 2009 @ 1:38 am

  20. wheelsonthebus said,

    welcome to my LIFE! my 3 y.o. outweighs my 5 y.o. and the oldest is so picky that we have to make him special food.

    | July 2, 2009 @ 3:34 am

  21. Denise said,

    My kids are 7 and 9. My 7yr old is a chub and my 9 yr old is so skinny that we say he is on the endangered species list. So I push snacks on one all day and tell the other one to find a hobby besides eating. And trying to steal her brothers whole milk while she gets the skim keeps her busy!

    | July 2, 2009 @ 5:06 am

  22. sarah said,

    Glad Sadie is gaining! She's so sweet! Seriously, Ethan *just* tipped the scales at 25lbs on his 3rd birthday. My friends who have heavier kids practically throw him over their heads when they pick him up. "Oh yeah, I forgot he's so tiny." Awesome.

    And please? If Sadie learns some swearin', please provide video. I don't know why, cursing babies just make me laugh.

    | July 2, 2009 @ 6:02 am

  23. LaLa said,

    Awww…they are both so stinking cute!! I know you have worries with the IUGR issue..I do have two polar opposite kidlets too. My son has his 18 month checkup next week and I am hoping he is not STILL 21 lbs!!

    | July 2, 2009 @ 11:06 am

  24. Andee said,

    I think that M is just fine! There is a reason for the 90th % – my oldest flirted with that a lot. So, I wouldn't worry about her.

    You're doing great!

    | July 2, 2009 @ 2:58 pm

  25. Anonymous said,

    Do you think you would this angst if the twins had been born a year apart and been singletons? It seems so easy to compare their growth when as you have said a number of times Sadie is growing at her own rate.

    | July 2, 2009 @ 4:42 pm

  26. surcie said,

    You make cute kids. That is all.

    | July 3, 2009 @ 1:30 pm

  27. Wendy said,

    I had one kid that was 95th percentile in weight AND height and one kid that was 95th percentile in weight and like 10% in height. We had a whole lotta porkalicious going on at our place.

    Our youngest had to do speech therapy early in the year and did FABULOUS. It really helped a lot. I'm sure she will do great!

    | July 4, 2009 @ 2:10 pm

  28. GingerB said,

    Remember to follow your own advice and let them be themselves. My IUGR daughter is 23 pounds (and has been for months and months) at age 3, and her doctor is not at all worried because she is so obviously healthy, just, smaller than most. I hope you find a happy resolution on the meals!!

    | July 5, 2009 @ 6:11 am

  29. Home Loans said,

    Umaaaaaaaaaaah, Both girls are like angels.

    | July 6, 2009 @ 11:36 am

  30. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said,

    They both look healthy and happy. It's great news that Sadie's gaining weight, and I'm sure that Mattie's height/weight ratio will soon be wherever you want it. Either way, she's lovely and I would never have guessed that she were "built like a snowman" =)

    | July 6, 2009 @ 3:32 pm

  31. Piccinigirl said,

    OMG your girls are Gorgeous!!!
    you make me giggle!!

    It's a step in the positive direction that she is gaining and Good God, she's so beautiful, that alone would make me smile every single day. (along with pizza)

    Learn some curse words Sadie, my wallet keeps being emptied by the Curse Cup here at work….hey I never said I was an angel/ LOL

    | July 7, 2009 @ 5:17 pm

  32. Cat said,

    I'm exhausted just READING about all of that food. Do they have some kind of Seattle Suttons or Nutri System you can order for your and the hubs, all your meals delivered so you just worry about the kids?

    Seriously. Exhausting. But your babies are beautiful!

    | July 8, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

  33. Kyla said,

    But, if you average them, it comes out about right, right? That's something,. 😉

    | July 8, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

  34. Mel said,

    Zegerid worked miracles for both of my children. My first had SEVERE silent reflux. It was awful and then zegerid kept me from the looney bin!

    | July 9, 2009 @ 1:53 pm

  35. twinsmom said,

    I also have twins w/ weight issues. Marin was just weighed yesterday, we gained 4 oz. she is now 21 and 6 1/2 oz. and oh, yes, I do count that 1/2. she is 27 months old. and her twin Addie weighs much more, but i haven't gotten her weighed since they turned 2. good luck with everything and I saw u on the today show, no embarrassing moments. although, you do inspire me to put down my budweiser. just not today

    | July 9, 2009 @ 1:55 pm

  36. kids4sale said,

    My son has been on the White Diet for several years. I'm sure you've heard of it–pasta, mozzarella cheese, bread, and milk. In other words, anything white. I'm at my whits end since he's ELEVEN!

    | July 9, 2009 @ 6:15 pm

  37. MommaNecey said,

    I just wanted to let you know that my twin girls are the same. Granted, they are 7 years old now, but one is 80 lbs and the other is 42 lbs. And the smaller one sees an endocrinologist. She was 4 or 5 before she hit 20 lbs, so don't feel bad – your daughter is doing GREAT!!! And, believe it or not, the smaller one eats the bigger one's "leftovers". …leftovers from her second helping, but still. And the smaller comes up to the larger one's chest, MAYBE. 🙂

    | July 19, 2009 @ 11:30 am

  38. MommaNecey said,

    I just wanted to let you know that my twin girls are the same. Granted, they are 7 years old now, but one is 80 lbs and the other is 42 lbs. And the smaller one sees an endocrinologist. She was 4 or 5 before she hit 20 lbs, so don't feel bad – your daughter is doing GREAT!!! And, believe it or not, the smaller one eats the bigger one's "leftovers". …leftovers from her second helping, but still. And the smaller comes up to the larger one's chest, MAYBE. 🙂

    | July 19, 2009 @ 11:32 am

  39. Home Loans said,

    Really interesting post, Well loosing the weight is itself a big problem, Punctual exercise will really give the benefit for loosing the weight, not the medications.

    | October 13, 2009 @ 8:31 am

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