Have You Gone Over to the Parenting Darkside?

I recently had to accept the fact that having children has made me lose (at least some of) my edge. Are you still cool or have you gone over to the dark side like me? Take this quick quiz and find out.

Do you carry a diaper bag as a purse even when unaccompanied by anyone in need of a diaper?

When the Fray comes on your car radio do you turn it up?

Do you have a favorite Wiggle?

Is your toilet seat lid childproofed?

Have you used the phrase “I have to go pee pee” while out for martinis?

Do you get a little too intense when discussing the Octo-mom?

Is there a child’s voice giving the outgoing greeting on your voice mail?

Does your idea of a good time include watching a parade?

Do you drive a fucking minivan?

Did you involuntarily flinch when you read the word “fucking” in the above question?

If you answered YES to two or more of these questions…hell…I have no advice. If you answered no to every question, please give ME some advice.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on March 3, 2009 10:31 pmUncategorized30 comments  


  1. Bridget said,

    I E> you!

    | March 3, 2009 @ 11:34 pm

  2. WA said,

    Ha, ha. Actually, I think Fucking Minivan would make a great perfume name. Let’s text JLo immediately.

    | March 3, 2009 @ 11:55 pm

  3. Mommy Melee said,

    Dude, I’m the fucking emperor.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 12:00 am

  4. CaraBee said,

    I AM the dark side.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 12:39 am

  5. Heather of the EO said,

    I think I answered yes to all of them. I’m pretty sure that makes me completely lame. I guess I kind of like lame. Sometimes.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 1:34 am

  6. Susan said,

    I answered no to all of them, but still haven’t seen my edge in years. I’m thinking pole dancing might be the answer.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 1:47 am

  7. Kyddryn said,

    To quote the immortal T-shirt: Come to the dark side, we have cookies.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

    | March 4, 2009 @ 1:55 am

  8. Ms Picket To You said,

    Dude. Dude.

    “fucking” is the new “really”.

    We’re all gonna be OK.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 2:43 am

  9. anita ovolina said,

    I was devastated when Greg left the Wiggles. Seriously I couldn’t get over it (I know he was sick) but I still cannot get used to the new Wiggle …..

    | March 4, 2009 @ 3:19 am

  10. Rachel said,

    Yeah, ashamed to admit I have googled the “Octo-mom” one too many times and then attempted to engage my husband in a heated conversation about her, only to have Dr. Phil change my mind about the whole thing a week later. AND I reluctantly turned up the volume to the Fray YESTERDAY and sang along hoping my daughter couldn’t hear me through the road noise.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 3:32 am

  11. Body by Twins said,

    I had to goggle The Fray. I am not only on the darkside. I am in a cave.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 3:41 am

  12. Beth said,

    too many “yeses” to count… and i’m only the mama of one. not too good when it comes to my cool factor… 🙂

    | March 4, 2009 @ 4:21 am

  13. LiteralDan said,

    Does continuing to take the diaper bag out and about weeks after my youngest finished potty training give me extra points since I’m a man?

    It’s just so damned handy– I don’t want to carry around all that shit!

    It’s going to be a long couple of years.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 4:41 am

  14. Wicked Step Mom said,

    Oh yeah, so there. Except for the diaper bag. My girls don’t need diapers. I do however currently have two rocks, 4 squished pennies and an action figure in my purse. (My girls play with action figures, thank you very much…)

    | March 4, 2009 @ 12:36 pm

  15. Loukia said,

    Hahaha, hilarious! My problem is I still swear to much in front of my children. Accidentaly I said fucking ass the other day about someone/something and my son has said that at least 3 times now. Laughing. Fucking ass! hahahahah… OMG I want to hide under a rock! I vow to never swear near my kids again! He starts kindergarten next year, and what if he says that to his teacher? Then I will get called into the pricipal’s office! But anyway your post is hilarious!

    | March 4, 2009 @ 3:13 pm

  16. Denise Thomas said,

    Dude, parades can be fun.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 6:20 pm

  17. Lisa said,

    Yeah, ok, so the parades are fun. And I drive a fucking Suburban.

    | March 4, 2009 @ 6:22 pm

  18. Gretch said,

    love your voice!
    just read nap time/happy hour and identified alot…
    I still have my edge, but, it’s easy to have an edge when you live in the DC suburbs, compared to the average folk

    | March 4, 2009 @ 7:24 pm

  19. VDog said,

    I am a WINNAH!!!

    I’m only 2 years in though, so there’s still room for me to switch over to the darkside.

    My advice? *EARMUFFS!!*


    | March 4, 2009 @ 8:31 pm

  20. heather... said,

    Fucking Minivan is the name of you next album, it drops on Tuesday.

    | March 5, 2009 @ 2:26 am

  21. Kari said,

    Oh yah. I’m so there.

    You forgot one though…do you have pictures of your kids plastered all over your screen saver at work and get a little too chatty when people come and ask you about them?

    | March 5, 2009 @ 8:09 am

  22. Anu said,

    well, i don’t exactly go out for martinis anymore, so i was screwed from the get-go.

    | March 5, 2009 @ 3:35 pm

  23. SmartAssMom said,

    Crap. I was doing so well until you mentioned the Fray.

    | March 5, 2009 @ 4:19 pm

  24. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said,

    Sadly, according to that quiz, I seem to have lost my edge already. And I haven’t even popped the baby out yet.

    | March 5, 2009 @ 7:46 pm

  25. Trish said,

    The other day I asked my best friend if she had some ibuprofen. When she said yes and turned to go get the bottle, I replied “Good, cause mommy has a headache.”

    Darkside all the way.

    | March 6, 2009 @ 5:04 am

  26. kmbr said,

    You probably didn’t mean “fucking minivan” the same way I do. Hey, you can put an inflatable mattress in there and be fucking alone…or maybe even bring your husband.

    I love my minivan.

    I have to go potty now.

    | March 6, 2009 @ 5:42 am

  27. Rachel said,

    you’re phenomenal. keep it coming

    | March 6, 2009 @ 1:43 pm

  28. Anonymous said,

    you are hilarious

    | March 6, 2009 @ 8:39 pm

  29. Christine said,

    I answered yes to all of the above AND can say that the pocket of my one nice raincoat has tiny army men and crushed Cheerios in it and I have inadvertently walked out of my home with a pink Goodie barette holding back my bangs. I think that places me squarely in the dark side!

    | March 10, 2009 @ 2:10 pm

  30. Pink & Green Mama said,

    Hee hee! I answered yes to all of them except the one about kid’s voices on my answering machine. Haven’t done that one yet and don’t plan to. And yes… I’ve been out for Margaritas and asked where the “potty” was. 🙂

    | March 13, 2009 @ 11:19 am

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