The Small Baby Blog II

Some of you have been asking for an update on Sadie (fine, one of you). I haven’t been updating quite as much about her because my obsession with her weight gain has thankfully become less all consuming. That is not to say that what she eats/doesn’t eat, drinks/doesn’t drink and does developmentally/doesn’t yet do isn’t on my mind everyday, it’s just that with all the support I have and the consistant – if slight – gains she makes, I have relaxed a bit in searching for answers.

There’s a woman who’s son goes to preschool with my daughter. Her son is a tiny guy -he probably weighs 24 or so pounds and he’s three. This is the same woman who planted the Russell Silver Syndrome thought in my brain -which took me weeks of Xanax therapy to remove. When I talk to her and realize what our kids have in common I have to figuratively put my fingers in my ears and say “la la la la la la la la la” while she throws around words like endocrinologist, growth hormones, growth specialists, geneticists and syndrome. It’s pretty much the same thing I do when Elisabeth Hasselback speaks on The View. No one in our circle of therapists thinks that Sadie has a syndrome of any kind. The consensus is the kid was just born tiny, my womb failed to provide her the proper nourishment and she’s not a fan of eating. That much hasn’t changed.

As of yesterday, Sadie weighs 15.11 and she’s 14 months old. And, yes folks, that’s WITH a g-tube. What I failed to realize when we went in for the g-tube surgery, is that although putting in the g-tube definitely helped to stabilize Sadie’s weight and make sure she doesn’t lose any, it’s not a miracle weight gain tool. I kind of thought it would be. I mean, with all the vacillating over getting it or not getting it, I couldn’t help but think that we would be rewarded for our bravery in putting her through the surgery by waking up a few months later with a fat and happy baby. I thought she’d gain faster than Oprah when she falls off the mashed potato wagon. Not so much. Babies can only take so much formula and food whether by mouth or by tube. Sadie does not have the capacity in her little belly to take much more than two ounces at a time.

At first we’d try and slowly build her up to bigger and bigger feedings but she’d eventually spit them back up. Finally I realized that she is who she is and on my own accord went to just giving her a couple of ounces at a time frequently throughout the day. Luckily, her occupational therapist has taught her to drink through a straw cup and she takes much of her Pediasure on her own. We then give her another eight ounces at night with a pump -a pump which, by the way, gives both me and my husband performance anxiety every night. If you do anything or nothing wrong while setting it up, the alarm goes off in a most annoying manner. Especially since there is ANOTHER BABY sleeping in the room and a four-year-old across the hall. Sometimes it takes us four or five tries to get the pump going. We are on our second pump so I don’t think it’s a mechanical thing. It’s sort of like playing that Operation Game when you were a kid. If you so much as touched the edges while removing the plastic pancreas with the little tweezers a buzz went off so loud you practically jumped out of your beanbag chair. Also, after the feeding is done, the alarm goes off again and we (me) have to go turn it off at three a.m.

So Sadie is growing and I’m still tired. Also, she’s almost walking. She can pull to a stand on almost anything and has stood up by herself from the floor once (she refused to do it again). So, she’s still behind – or delayed (whatever that really means) but she is catching up like a mother fucker!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 6, 2009 4:32 pmUncategorized23 comments  


  1. Cheryl Lage said,

    She is a delicate — but kickin’ booty — flower.

    BTW, your womb did NOT “fail her” in any sense of the word. She is LITTLE. It’s who she is. She is catching up and catching on, and you are an amazing mama.

    Peace and pounds (in their own time) ahead—

    | February 6, 2009 @ 5:27 pm

  2. Wicked Step Mom said,

    I am glad that Sadie is doing well. I marvel at the strength of you and your husband to get through this. Still sending good fat baby thoughts her way!

    | February 6, 2009 @ 5:27 pm

  3. Kristin.... said,

    I’m glad she’s gaining, even if it is slowly. It’s just her nature. And one of my twins walked at 9 1/2 months, and the other at 14 months. I have a 4 year old who weighs 37 pounds on a good day. They’re all different.

    Keep smiling. You’re doing great!

    | February 6, 2009 @ 6:55 pm

  4. Anonymous said,

    If she is not cognitively delayed (given the range of cognitive development for her age) due to “lack of proper nourishment” what is the concern?

    | February 6, 2009 @ 7:08 pm

  5. heather... said,

    it’s really strange for me to think of Sadie being almost a pound MORE than Maddie.

    Is your house still a germ breading ground? We need to get the shorties together so I don’t go insane.

    | February 6, 2009 @ 9:10 pm

  6. Kim said,

    My totally normal weight daughter, totally development on target daughter, didn’t start walking until she was 14 months old. In fact she didn’t get any teeth (at all) until she was 14 months old. It was a big month for her.

    So Sadie doesn’t really seem that far behind.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 12:16 am

  7. Kyddryn said,

    I’m with Cheryl – and whoever told you that any part of your pregnancy was a “fail” should have their arse kicked. Who thinks this is an appropriate way to speak to a mum??

    Go Sadie, go!!

    Shade and Sweetwater,

    | February 7, 2009 @ 12:20 am

  8. Trish said,

    Thanks for the update.. I’m glad she’s gaining, though I admit I wish she’sd fatten up like a Michelin man, too. no one appreciates a fat baby like a preemie momma.

    We might be 2weeks from a Gtube ourselves.. blah!

    | February 7, 2009 @ 2:21 am

  9. Francesca Fine Jewelry said,

    Your womb didn’t fail her! She’s just small framed. Both of my sons were small framed and they both had growth spurts when they were 13 years old. My daughter never really had a dramatic growth spurt at a certain age like the boys did. But everything seems to balance out when the kids are older.

    Sadie is almost 16lbs! Woohoo!!! That is awesome!!! Thank you for the update. I am the one who asked. I have to be updated seeing as how I have made myself president of the Sadie Fan Club. lol

    | February 7, 2009 @ 3:42 am

  10. MereCat said,

    Hey, one of mine didn’t walk until 18 months. And everyone is just fine. Sounds like you are rocking right along. Although it’s certainly the tougher road, you’re getting there.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 4:16 am

  11. Jo said,

    Hmm, I hate losing sleep, you could slow the rate down so it takes longer, than you don’t have to go in and turn off the pump. What about giving her more so it lasts longer? You can also beef up her calories without increasing the volume by adding duocal or benecal to her formula. I am glad she is doing better though!

    | February 7, 2009 @ 4:46 am

  12. Linda said,

    Oh, Mama. The suckiest part is how tired you are…tired just plain sucks.
    Sadie is tiny. Sadie was “meant” to be tiny. I wouldn’t want to hang with her too much-she would make me look SOOOO FAT.

    You have been everything a mother can/should be. I hope, hope, hope that occasionally you pat yourself on the back. Fist yourself, woman.

    Do it.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 7:33 am

  13. Bec said,

    It probably wont make you feel any better, but Saddie is bigger than Erin at the moment. We just lost 300g in a week *sigh*

    I totally hear you on the “tube not being a miracle” thing. We’d been lead to believe that Erin would gain almost a kilo a month where as, in reality she only gain 1.5kgs in three months.

    One thing we do that I thought may be of interest to you is adding protein powder to her food. The average toddler needs about 1 gram of protein per kilo of body weight. Erin seems to need about 3 grams per kilo to help her grow.

    Since we’ve been giving her the protein she’s started growing 2cm’s a month and is up 10cms. She’s even got hair now. Not a lot but still. We’ve been told that whey protein is better than soya protein.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 11:13 am

  14. Kyla said,

    Growing is better than losing!

    For us, it has been miraculous…not so much for the gaining (which has been nice), but because of the consistency of nutrition. She’s never had that before and it has kept us out of the hospital more than once already. Kids can’t thrive without proper nutrition and we were never able to make sure she got it before now.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 1:49 pm

  15. LuLu and Moxley's Mom said,

    Glad to hear a Sadie update!

    I think people underestimate what having to get up in the middle of the night does to one’s sanity. The up side is, every time you’re a raving bi— to your husband, you can blame the interrupted sleep. Now that my girls sleep through the night, I’m looking for a new excuse.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 2:36 pm

  16. Threeundertwo said,

    Thanks for the Sadie update. You know we moms worry.

    Baby steps baby steps. Every ounce helps.

    And in a few weeks I expect you guys will be doing the pump thing in your sleep with no buzzers going off.

    | February 7, 2009 @ 3:33 pm

  17. Phoebe said,

    It’s normal to walk as late as 18 months, says my pediatric orthopaedist husnband. So she does not sound delayed to us. Go Sadie go!

    | February 7, 2009 @ 5:06 pm

  18. Catwoman said,

    My soon to be 3.5 year old is STILL 29 pounds. Has not put on a single ounce since his 3-year check up in September. But I know he’s grown, I can tell from his pants. But he officially looks like Victoria Beckham, the male version, because he looks like a human lollipop with his ginormous head.

    The point is, Sadie rocks, all 15.11 pounds of her.

    | February 8, 2009 @ 4:12 am

  19. anita ovolina said,

    Glad to know she’s getting some weight on and catching up! Sounds like there is no magic answer sort of an on-going process..you are doing such a fantastic job with her, Xanax or no Xanax.
    Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

    | February 9, 2009 @ 3:49 am

  20. Anonymous said,

    Okay, need your take on the Bachelor last night.

    | February 10, 2009 @ 3:33 pm

  21. Momma said,

    Found your blog through Le Musings of Moi today and love it!!!! Will be back!

    | February 10, 2009 @ 3:38 pm

  22. Karen Cupcake said,

    Hey.. no worries.. My kid was 8 pounds 7 ounces at birth.. at One she was 17 pounds! Now.. she is 14 and weighs 120!! Its ok!!
    Plus.. we got way more use out of her little clothes back then.. how many 7 year olds are wearing 4T???


    | February 12, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

  23. Anonymous said,

    I can’t stand Elisabeth Hasselback either. Just seeing her name makes me cringe. Why can’t she get fired. I’d actually watch The View if you were on it.

    | March 20, 2009 @ 7:53 pm

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