House of Pain: Or Why I Haven’t Updated

Every once in awhile, when I only had Elby scampering around the house, I would or could forget momentarily that I was a mother. It wasn’t that difficult to do because, in retrospect, Elby was a very low maintenance baby. Granted, she was always with me in the early days. I took her grocery shopping, back and forth to Target sometimes three times in one day, out for strolls in the park, Mommy & Me, My Gym…oh the list goes on. But there were times when we were home or at night when she was asleep when I would momentarily forget that my days were full of Elby and that my title was now Mother. With twins that is completely impossible. They are everyday all day and all night.

These last few weeks have tried my title of Mother, stretched it as far as it will stretch, seen it bounce back into place only to pull it apart at the seams once again. The babies have been sick off and on for really so long I’ve lost track. I think it started with puking but became full blown colds warranting trips to the doctor and more recently more doctor appointments for antibiotics due to the ear infections that seem to follow cold likes ants on the trail of maple syrup. My husband and I have been sick for as long if not longer than the babies and, really, I think we should do the world a favor and lock ourselves away in a TB sanatorium so as not to infect anyone else. BUT THEN WHO WOULD WATCH THE BABIES? Did I mention that Elby got sick and an ear infection in there too?

I’ve seen so much of my doctor I’m literally having romantic dreams about him at night. I log more hours in his office than I do with my husband. IT’S NOT GOOD.

I guess I’m trying to explain why blogging has become my number twelve priority – right after doctors, finishing loose ends on the book, praying for a break in mucous production, watching American Idol and writing my Make Mine a Double column (I know, I know but they pay me).

I want to write on my blog more. I think about it. The damn thing taunts me everyday when I log onto my computer. But somehow I feel like all I can do is bitch. If anyone out there has twins and another child to boot I know you can relate and if any of you don’t, I certainly don’t want to sound like there’s no upside to having three kids. Sometimes I look at their little faces and my heart melts. Sometimes. But often there’s so much to fucking do around here that it’s hard to get any of that adorable face time. How can I look into their faces when those faces look hungry and I have to run to the store to buy them food or clean all their bottle, sippy cup paraphanalia or entertain an occupational therapist, physical therapist, nutritionist (God how I love her), pediatrician or attend another post op g-tube surgeon visit? I have to clock every ounce of formula that goes into Sadie, make sure Elby’s lunch is taken to school and picked up -with clean bedding for naps, a nutritious lunch and a toy for “share day.”

So combine all the regular stuff with sick kids for the last month and it’s just not a great set up for mental health…………………………………………………………………………..I’m sorry…is it still my turn to talk? I dozed off for a minute there. Matilda had a RECURRANCE of her double ear infection (or else the Amoxicillan never did the trick in the first place) and I had to bring her back to the doctor today for a stronger antibiotic.

All in all I’m so tired I could seriously hurt someone. Anyone. Don’t cut me off in traffic is all I’m saying.

So, today I kept Elby home from school because I had no help and I needed to take the girls to the doctor. Since we got back she’s been watching TV nonstop. And here’s the thing: I could end the TV day by simply pretending to go trick or treating with her which she is begging me to do (one of our stops will have to be the bathroom because I have to pee – I hope they have good treats there) but I keep putting her off so I can BLOG. You’re welcome.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 10, 2009 7:16 pmUncategorized32 comments  


  1. Kirsten said,

    Sometimes the blog has to take a back seat to life. Spring can’t come soon enough.

    When my twins +1 were smaller, I barely found the time to brush my teeth and change my underwear much less blog or read blogs. Now they are 6, 6 and almost 4 and life if so much easier. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

    I can’t wait to check out your new book.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 12:26 am

  2. Kendra said,

    I loved “Sippy Cups” and have ordered “Naptime.” You got me through a lot of not-so-funny moments as a mom, and I’m now a mom to three (all singles, though). Though there are definitely those of us who count on you to show us that our lives aren’t that bad, there’s your life to live too. I hope that everyone feels better soon so you can get back to feeling like an entire person again.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 1:02 am

  3. anymommy said,

    Sometimes, (often, a lot of the time for me), some things have to slip. The blog is probably a good pick, you know, versus not feeding your kids.

    I have three little ones and I admit, I have read blogs while they all screamed simultaneously on the floor. Can anyone say disassociation?

    | January 23, 2009 @ 1:24 am

  4. Cat said,

    I’m glad you finally got your priorities straight. Blog before quality family time.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 1:55 am

  5. Kim said,

    I think you get a free pass for not keeping up with the blog as often. Isn’t mommy life as grand as you thought it would be?

    I’m glad to see that the G-Tube is doing it’s just for the most part, too. It seems like we’re headed there, too.. and your blog has been such a comfort lately.

    (Not so new reader, but new commenter!)

    | January 23, 2009 @ 2:51 am

  6. Backpacking Dad said,

    What the fuck is a blog?

    | January 23, 2009 @ 3:17 am

  7. Beth said,

    They never tell you about this side of Motherhood, you know? I only have one kiddo (almost 2) and yet I can barely manage to entertain/take care of him, work PT, etc. etc. And he’s not even sick (knock on wood). My house is the evidence of this…. the only time it’s “tidy” is when we have company!!!

    I am seriously impressed with how you do it all — with 3 kids! — every day… and with an amazing sense of humor, no less. Here’s hoping that the ear infections/colds will clear up in the next few days. Thinking of you!

    | January 23, 2009 @ 6:22 am

  8. Kyla said,

    This sounds eerily like my life. Hang in there.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 2:09 pm

  9. Valerie said,

    Glad it’s not just me. I too I have three (including twins). The other day my husband called and I refused to stop driving around the kids, because they were FINALLY quite, until his butt was in the driveway and ready to help. Even then it is endlessly crazy.
    Case in point it took me 15 mins to write this because I had to stop for screaming babes.
    By the way you do more then I do….I’ m lucky if I can fit in showering and peeing.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 2:14 pm

  10. Rachel Philippe said,

    god bless you, god bless you, god bless you. and again, what else is there to say except, OMG…you’re so fuckin’ funny! THANK YOU for sharing your gift of humorous expression with all of us. I totally get it and i actually only have two non-twin totally healthy boys (don’t hate me) and I go crazy. Oh dear sweet sister, I pray, pray, pray that you get some solid nighttime sleep really, really soon. Please dear god(dess), give this woman some solid nighttime sleep. pretty please.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 2:22 pm

  11. LuLu and Moxley's Mom said,

    I was starting to worry — thanks for updating! I only have twins (can’t believe I’m saying only) and I am a wreck so I can’t imagine health concerns and another child to care for as well. Hello valium. And Xanax. With wine. You are superhuman. And hilarious. Angie has nothing on you. (Except perhaps 6 nannies to help her…)


    | January 23, 2009 @ 5:36 pm

  12. Anonymous said,

    You are a superhero. I don’t know how you did it all. All I can say is it WILL get better. Those girls are lucky to have you for a mommy.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 5:52 pm

  13. Julie said,

    This sounds like life in my household this winter. Except, um, I only have ONE child to worry about! So you have it so much worse. But I am pregnant and work full-time, and in this economy, I am sure to lose my job imminently because I haven’t worked a full day since I can remember because I have to either a) work full-time from home while taking care of a sick 17-month old simultaneously (MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! while also on conference calls) or b) risk dropping my daughter off at daycare where she just picks up the next thing.

    Oh, and I am also 5 mo pregnant so medication doesn’t do shit for me when I have a cold, so now I have a sinus infection.

    All in all, though, your rant made me feel better and I didn’t think such a thing was possible. It made me realize that I should freaking *treasure* this time with just one sick child as opposed to multiple.

    THANK YOU! This is why I come to your blog. You always make me smile.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 6:33 pm

  14. seran said,

    I only have one and I’ve had to stop showering and brushing my teeth. So don’t worry. When you don’t blog, I don’t picture you lolling around neglecting your faithful readers. I picture you the way it really is.:-)

    | January 23, 2009 @ 7:25 pm

  15. Janeabelle said,

    Dude, my boys were puking for Christmas, then I was sick, #1 just got over and nasty cold and gave it to #2 who now has a double ear infection (thick and protruding mucus in his ears), AND my husband texted me to let me know that he might go to the doctor because his chest hurts. SO HELP ME GOD, if that man dies of a heart attack, shit will hit the fan.

    I feel (a little bit of) your pain, and really hope that things get better for you. And want you to know that I appreciate your neglecting your child to get a blog out. That means a lot to me.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 7:39 pm

  16. Stefanie said,

    I can see that we’re all in this together. Apparently it’s COLD AND FLU SEASON. So it only makes sense. But having one child sick is nowhere near as insane as having five people in your household ill. Dear God. I’m going to the doctor today to beg for antibiotics for myself. No one should have bronchitis for 3 months.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 7:52 pm

  17. heather... said,

    yeah, you might want to go to the doctor for yourself. Or just have their pediatrician prescribe you something.

    Fucking germs.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 9:35 pm

  18. Ms. Wobbly Bits said,

    Dang, and I bitch about my colicky 4 month old and needy 2 year old..whew..you are my new John and Kate plus 8. Hang in there woman, this too shall pass..painfully slow..but this too shall pass.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 9:39 pm

  19. Threeundertwo said,

    See my screen name? Three kids. Under age two. Oh honey do I understand. I’m impressed blogging is as high as 12 on the list. Even above peeing, apparently. Impressive.

    | January 23, 2009 @ 9:57 pm

  20. Amanda said,

    The Plague is upon our house as well. And while I only have one kid, when my husband is sick his whining counts for at least 2.5 kids’ worth. Hang in there – just think of it as fodder for your memoirs. : ) (seriously, it’ll get better, I promise.)

    | January 24, 2009 @ 1:37 am

  21. CaraBee said,

    See, some days I feel overwhelmed with one kid, so I can’t even begin to imagine life with THREE. If the blogging doesn’t happen, oh well. As much as I love reading about your life, I think your children are probably a teensy bit more important than my entertainment. You do what you gotta do.

    | January 24, 2009 @ 1:51 am

  22. surcie said,

    I’m amazed that you blog as much as you do! Take care of yourself, Stef.

    | January 24, 2009 @ 2:51 am

  23. Catwoman said,

    Seriously? I don’t have half of what you have going on, and I can’t find the time to blog. Thank goodness I’m committed to the monthly letters to the kids, and that I have two kids now, or else I wouldn’t even average a post every two weeks.

    | January 24, 2009 @ 9:35 pm

  24. Susan said,

    You deserve a spa day – sponsored by Clorox. So sorry things are rotten. But look how many of us are waiting to hear from you WHENEVER you get to it! Hang in there.

    | January 25, 2009 @ 2:16 pm

  25. Heather of the EO said,

    I don’t have twins, but I can relate. I had no idea how much free time I had with my first. My second has been HIGH maintenance to say the least (Hugest understatement ever) I often can be found spending my pee time with him on my lap. Medical needs or not, he’s lots of work… then there’s the preschooler firstborn who wishes I would come back to him. It’s all sooooo draining. There is NO time. I would like to say “this too shall pass” and that’s sort of true, but still…it’s not right now and it’s just plain hard. So I’m validating you. Because your post validated me. somehow we will make it through. Possibly with straight jackets, but whatever.

    | January 26, 2009 @ 2:53 am

  26. Heather of the EO said,

    I just realized that “medical needs or not” may have sounded totally wrong.

    I meant that he does have medical needs so I can relate to that part too. But even if he didn’t, he’s still pretty intense.

    I’m explaining because I re-read it and thought it sounded like I was saying that he’s more work than all the medical stuff you’re experiencing. Look at me try to explain. Sigh. I can’t because I’m too sleep-deprived. Let’s just pretend I didn’t just make absolutely no sense.

    | January 26, 2009 @ 2:56 am

  27. Wicked Step Mom said,

    Three is hard enough for me and they all are potty trained and can do chores. No twins in the mix but, it can get rough. I hope everyone starts feeling better soon and you can break the sickness cycle!

    | January 26, 2009 @ 1:27 pm

  28. Candy said,

    I read your post and it sounded as if you’ve been to my house. My 10 month old twins have double ear infections on top of colds and have some sort of liquid flowing from their faces at all times. Did I mention they are teething too? My 4 year old has a nagging cough and bless him, is just trying to get fed on a regular schedule. Sometimes I want to go outside and scream but then I remember that when I get home from work, they all come and sit on my lap and want me to read them stories and can’t wait for me to try to make them smile. I know it will get better for both of us, I just hope it happens soon because my antibotic is almost out.

    | January 27, 2009 @ 7:27 pm

  29. MereCat said,

    We will be here when you want to talk about whatever you want to talk about it. No pressure to blog often or to even bestow great missives. Just take care of the first things first, then update us when you can. Also, I don’t consider pictures filler if you want to throw a few our way when you can.

    Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    | January 27, 2009 @ 8:12 pm

  30. whatthef*ck said,

    are you fucking kidding me lady? i need a drink after simply READING about your life! make mine a triple for chrissake.

    maybe this isnt a good time to mention the following but hell why not. i’ve been blogging again, this time about my little ahem “problem” with the wacky weed. i should rename my blog. “parenting under the influence? is there any other way?” sounds like one of your books.

    but in all seriousness, are you joking around about your inordinate fondness for the pharmaceuticals or do you ever approach “problematic” fondness? tell me to fuck off if you want.

    | January 27, 2009 @ 8:46 pm

  31. Andee said,

    I hope everyone feels better, especially you! You must take care of yourself. Everyone depends on you! (no pressure or anything). 🙂

    We’ll be thinking about you. You can do this.

    | January 27, 2009 @ 8:53 pm

  32. GTR said,


    | August 26, 2009 @ 8:15 am

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