Archive for January, 2009

Hold Your Nose

You want to hear something gross? Okay, okay I’ll tell you. Yesterday, after blogging, I actually did manage to drag my ass to the gym in what can only be called a pathetic attempt to get back into my formal shape. I was able to last 20 minutes on the Precor machine, do a few sets of crunches and some sort of shoulder machine (that will eventually take me into Angela Bassett in What’s Love Got to Do With It territory) before I had to call it a day. Here’s the gross part: after the gym I had to go straight to pick Elbs up from school and when I got back, the Jaguar (Liz) was leaving so I went right into mommy of three mode. I was so tired by the time Elby was finally in bed and I’d watched Idol that I fell asleep on the couch. My husband woke me up at 11 and sent me to bed. Um, did you see that I missed something in there? A SHOWER. And now it’s 1:20 the next day and I still haven’t showered. So that’s what I’m going to do now – and then I’m going to change our sheets. Poor poor Jon.

You know what showers are also good for? An excuse to change underwear. Yeah, I said that. Deal with it!

At least I make some good lookin’ babies.

Updated to add: I did indeed shower. You’re welcome.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 30, 2009 9:15 pmUncategorized24 comments  

My New Cover

Hey, can you believe how much I’m posting? I finish my book and suddenly I have a sliver of free time. Sure I could use it to go to the gym or spend quality time with my children or possibly do charity work, but I said I have a little time not energy. So instead, I went to Target today and bought a t-shirt cause YEAH BITCHES, THAT’S HOW I ROLL! TARGET STYLE. I’ll do that. I’ll just wake up one morning and say, I’m hitting up Target for a t-shirt and some cookies. That’s how superstars like me spend their time.

Truly there was a reason for today’s post. I wanted to show you my cover for my new book! I’m using an awful lot of exclamation points! Sorry about that!

Also, in other news that’s not so fun, my friend Laura at www.taylo2babies.blogspot.com had to have both her preemie twins (who are 10 months old) admitted to the hospital for Failure To Thrive because they are too little. She needs advice and support from other moms who are in our small baby club. I personally feel that she is being steered in the wrong direction but please read for yourself and see if you can help. So many people have been supportive of me and I couldn’t have gotten through Sadie’s trials without you. Sistah needs our help.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 29, 2009 8:47 pmUncategorized24 comments  

Boycott ER!!

One of the underrated negatives of having a boatload of kids is the medical bills. I don’t care if you have the best insurance on the planet, these well baby check ups, pediatric GI visits, G-tube surgury plus follow-ups, follow-up to the check ups, “just want to see if she has an ear infection” visits (for every baby multiple time) add up. Today I sat down to go through a huge stack of them because for some odd reason my husband hates it when bill collectors call. I guess he’s worried about our credit rating or something dumb like that. Jon, if you’re reading this, what’s the worst that’s going to happen if our credit goes to shit? Man, you’re so paranoid! Anyway, as I was going through the stacks upon stacks of bills I really looked at a couple of them and I was appalled at what ER’s charge for NOTHING.

I don’t know if you all remember that last July I had a big daddy of a migraine while at Blogher. I took a cab over to St. Francis and was there for only one hour while they gave me an IV drip of magnesium. Seriously, no harder drugs. The place was empty that day but I still was ignored by the doctor and the nurse who was assigned to me. Once she started the drip she went off to have coffee and chit chat with the other nurses. I asked at one point if they could turn off the light in my little curtained off cubby of a room and the doctor (who I kid you not was sitting behind a desk watching television) said “I’ll send the nurse.” He never did. The bill from that visit? Three grand. Uh, WHAT? After the discount they do for insurance it was a little under a thousand and my insurance only paid two hundred of it. Obviously, I want to fight this bill but the chances are slim to zilch that they will cut the bill. And that’s just for my medical issue.

I’m lucky that a lot of Sadie’s therapy is covered by a state funded program but due to budget cuts, it’s possible that we will lose some of the services we have. We probably won’t so don’t freak out and start writing to Arnold Shwartzenegger on my behalf four times a day. I know you were all opening a new document on your computer to help me but it’s okay. However, think that ER’s are out of control in what they charge. And in defiance, I am going to refuse to watch ER. For this week. Won’t you join me in this fight? Here’s something else for your viewing pleasure.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 28, 2009 11:23 pmUncategorized23 comments  

Let’s Make This Fast

These babies; they’re not like Elby was when she was their age. I’m not sure I completely understood the concept of different babies have different personalities before I added two more to my brood. Somehow I just figured that babies are pretty much babies – with a few who will never go the fuck to sleep thrown in the mix. But Sadie and Mattie are different as night and day. Mattie is bossy, affectionate and a major attention ho while Sadie is mellow, passive but quietly crafty. If you turn your back on Sadie for too long you won’t hear her but you will eventually smell a funky odor coming from her bedroom only to find that she stuck some sticky substance (probably found in Elby’s room) on the lightbulb of her lamp, turned it on and there’s smoke rising from it. With Mattie, on the other hand, you don’t ever turn your back.

Both babies are off the bottle and Sadie (these past couple of days) has been drinking enough Pediasure through a straw to make me think she’s an actual baby and not an ant. I haven’t seen her weight in awhile though so I don’t want to be too excited.

God, why am I so bad at pasting pictures onto my damn blog? How hard could it be to move them around so they don’t look like I threw them against a wall and they landed this way due to gravity? I’m technologically…not gifted. Wait, I think I fixed it. Never mind. Let’s just forget that I even said that. Seriously. Let it go. I figured it out. LET IT GO.
Sorry, I’m a little edgy. Everyone in the house is feeling a bit better but I could use about four days straight of pure sleep.
I’m so tired.
Did I mention how tired I am?
How does anyone have twins and get anything else done in their life? I feel like I wrote my entire book in a blur. I read bits of it back and can’t remember writing it. I remember being halfway through and thinking there was no possible way I could write the rest with all that was going on. And yet, it’s done. Completely done, edited and coming out in hardcover in July. So, apparently, I did write. And drink. And write. I’d say and cry but thanks to Zoloft, not so much.
I will try to write something witty tomorrow. But if you want to hear me rant about The Bachelor you can click here.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 27, 2009 11:40 pmUncategorized16 comments  

House of Pain: Or Why I Haven’t Updated

Every once in awhile, when I only had Elby scampering around the house, I would or could forget momentarily that I was a mother. It wasn’t that difficult to do because, in retrospect, Elby was a very low maintenance baby. Granted, she was always with me in the early days. I took her grocery shopping, back and forth to Target sometimes three times in one day, out for strolls in the park, Mommy & Me, My Gym…oh the list goes on. But there were times when we were home or at night when she was asleep when I would momentarily forget that my days were full of Elby and that my title was now Mother. With twins that is completely impossible. They are everyday all day and all night.

These last few weeks have tried my title of Mother, stretched it as far as it will stretch, seen it bounce back into place only to pull it apart at the seams once again. The babies have been sick off and on for really so long I’ve lost track. I think it started with puking but became full blown colds warranting trips to the doctor and more recently more doctor appointments for antibiotics due to the ear infections that seem to follow cold likes ants on the trail of maple syrup. My husband and I have been sick for as long if not longer than the babies and, really, I think we should do the world a favor and lock ourselves away in a TB sanatorium so as not to infect anyone else. BUT THEN WHO WOULD WATCH THE BABIES? Did I mention that Elby got sick and an ear infection in there too?

I’ve seen so much of my doctor I’m literally having romantic dreams about him at night. I log more hours in his office than I do with my husband. IT’S NOT GOOD.

I guess I’m trying to explain why blogging has become my number twelve priority – right after doctors, finishing loose ends on the book, praying for a break in mucous production, watching American Idol and writing my Make Mine a Double column (I know, I know but they pay me).

I want to write on my blog more. I think about it. The damn thing taunts me everyday when I log onto my computer. But somehow I feel like all I can do is bitch. If anyone out there has twins and another child to boot I know you can relate and if any of you don’t, I certainly don’t want to sound like there’s no upside to having three kids. Sometimes I look at their little faces and my heart melts. Sometimes. But often there’s so much to fucking do around here that it’s hard to get any of that adorable face time. How can I look into their faces when those faces look hungry and I have to run to the store to buy them food or clean all their bottle, sippy cup paraphanalia or entertain an occupational therapist, physical therapist, nutritionist (God how I love her), pediatrician or attend another post op g-tube surgeon visit? I have to clock every ounce of formula that goes into Sadie, make sure Elby’s lunch is taken to school and picked up -with clean bedding for naps, a nutritious lunch and a toy for “share day.”

So combine all the regular stuff with sick kids for the last month and it’s just not a great set up for mental health…………………………………………………………………………..I’m sorry…is it still my turn to talk? I dozed off for a minute there. Matilda had a RECURRANCE of her double ear infection (or else the Amoxicillan never did the trick in the first place) and I had to bring her back to the doctor today for a stronger antibiotic.

All in all I’m so tired I could seriously hurt someone. Anyone. Don’t cut me off in traffic is all I’m saying.

So, today I kept Elby home from school because I had no help and I needed to take the girls to the doctor. Since we got back she’s been watching TV nonstop. And here’s the thing: I could end the TV day by simply pretending to go trick or treating with her which she is begging me to do (one of our stops will have to be the bathroom because I have to pee – I hope they have good treats there) but I keep putting her off so I can BLOG. You’re welcome.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 10, 2009 7:16 pmUncategorized32 comments  


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