The One Where I Ask You To Help Me Come Up With a Title

Yes, I took down my last two posts. For anyone wondering if I was forced to take the last one down: no, I wasn’t. I took it down because many commentors used the company’s name that I was ordered to stop talking about. Although I was, in my opinion, morally in the right to blog about my previous experience with that company, I don’t feel like going to battle over it. Some things are worth a fight and some…just aren’t. I mean, if I wanted to go to court over it I totally could because I’m sort of trained in the field of Law. I didn’t go to an “accredited” law school or anything crazy like that but I’ve watched over half a season of Boston Legal, a couple of episodes of The Practice and quite a few Law and Order: SVU’s so, yeah, obviously I know what I’m talking about. Also, I did serve a little chunk of time in the pokey and that’s ten years I don’t want to repeat so I’m not trying to stir up any new trouble right now.

New topic: I have a book due in Sept. and it doesn’t have a title yet. So many of you are fun, creative types and also quite generous in spirit. So, if you’re so inclined to toss out a few ideas, I’d be forever indebted. Not only that, but I’ll pay 100 bucks to anyone whose title I end up using (maybe 125, depending on how many more doctor’s appointments that are out of network I go to). The book is essays about doing things my own way – with chapters about bad therapists, harrassing my husband into marrying me etc. I need a catchy title that sounds a bit memoirish along the lines of Jen Lancaster’s book (Bitter Is the New Black) or Chelsea’s latest (Are you There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea) or that other one (I Thought There’d Be Cake). But, obviously, not those. Cause they’re taken. And if I named my book Bitter is the New Black, watch Jen Lancaster try to sue me over it or send me a cease and desist from using my exact same title or some kind of bullshit like that. Okay. Let’s do this!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on May 28, 2008 9:37 pmUncategorized81 comments  


  1. Backpacking Dad said,

    “You can lead a girl to water, but you can’t make her drink it.”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 12:08 am

  2. Cheryl Lage said,

    Oooh…that lends itself to
    “The Kool-Aid: I’m Not Drinkin’ It”

    (Or would you then be sued by that oversized, perma-smiled red pitcher?)

    Will ponder….

    | May 29, 2008 @ 12:51 am

  3. Candace said,

    I did it my (therapist’s) way……..
    Ok, I know, crickets. But I’ll be back. I just need to let this brew for awhile!
    Book sounds exciting…!!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 1:24 am

  4. cena said,

    my first thought:

    “it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to”.

    but since it’s a song title, does that bring you back to possibly having to use your ‘law degree’? hmmmm……..

    | May 29, 2008 @ 1:43 am

  5. cena said,

    shit. now i have that damn song in my head. bet ya’ll do too!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 1:48 am

  6. MereCat said,

    Lemme think on this… I think I can come up with a good one.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 2:37 am

  7. Anonymous said,

    It’s my Blog and I’ll rant if I want to.

    That’s not my title. Just a comment, to “Curious”


    | May 29, 2008 @ 3:13 am

  8. Mom101 said,

    Did that website stab a hooker? Because watching SVU would totally help you rake them over the coals if they did.

    As for titles, how about “I didn’t stab a hooker.” It could be great for google searches, especially with the prisoner population. Untapped audience…think about it.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 3:32 am

  9. Heather said,

    “Thanks, But No”
    “It’s Cute That You Think You’re Right”
    “You Can’t Be Serious”

    Although, really, I’m just waiting for when we write our book entitled, “Preemies – Don’t Have ’em.”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 3:54 am

  10. Short and Sweet said,

    How about, “If Memory Serves Me…I’d Be Young Again!

    Just a thought~~~~~

    | May 29, 2008 @ 4:29 am

  11. Kathy said,

    “I’m Smarter Than I Look”

    “Kathy Got One 100 Dollars And All I Got Was This Stupid Title”

    “Why Don’t You Love Me?”

    “Marry Me Or Else”

    “What’s Not To Love??”

    “Is ANYBODY Listening To Me!?!”

    “Bite Me”

    “Can I Get A What What??”

    “Are You There God, It’s Me And I’m FREAKING OUT!!!”

    “My Therapist Thinks Our Sex Life Is Bad For My Marriage”

    I’ll have to think on this one too…

    | May 29, 2008 @ 4:38 am

  12. Y said,

    How about “ceasing and desisting to PUNCH YOU IN THE ASSHOLE.”

    But seriously, I’ll think of something, if I can ever stop being too busy to think.

    Ok ok. Seriously, I want that hundred bucks. Am going to seriously think now.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 4:55 am

  13. Short and Sweet said,

    I changed my mind. How about “If My Memory Serves Me…I’d Be Young Again” or “Paul Anka Had The Right Idea”.
    The second one with Paul Anka might require endless legal paperwork just to use his name! Forget it!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 4:58 am

  14. Cherise said,

    ARRRGG – I miss reading this blog for a couple days and I miss a brou-ha-ha (sp??) involving a cease and desist order? Not knowing what this was about is going to kill me. I have no book titles. I’m just dying of curiosity over the deleted posts.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 6:09 am

  15. Krystyn said,

    “It’s my way or the highway.”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 10:59 am

  16. Meg said,

    “And that’s when I flipped him off…”

    It was almost my blog’s title. But I also like “Thanks, but no.”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 11:12 am

  17. Ashley said,

    “Because I Said So”
    “Suck It”
    “I Know You Are, But What Am I?’

    | May 29, 2008 @ 12:04 pm

  18. heidi said,

    How about: “If One More Ass-Hat Tells Me I Have Quite a *Handful* I’ll go All Rambo on Them”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 12:21 pm

  19. Danielle said,

    “Deny, Deny, Deny … Then Counter Accuse”

    This is my first time commenting on any blog, anywhere 🙂 Good Luck with your writing!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 12:24 pm

  20. Lisa said,

    It’s not an amusement park, it’s my life.

    The most extreme… kiddie ride.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 12:46 pm

  21. Jill said,

    “it’s on like donkey kong” – but then i suppose you’d have to clear it with nintendo… and that would probably cut into my 100 big ones.
    hmmmm – i’m going to allow it to percolate. i’ll be back.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 2:14 pm

  22. Anonymous said,

    What about?

    “Isn’t it all about me?”


    “One thing to know about me is I don’t like people who say one thing to know about me”

    If you choose either of these we can split the $100

    | May 29, 2008 @ 2:28 pm

  23. Danielle said,

    “Prozac Is My Coping Mechanism”

    “Therapy Is For Everyone”

    I have a serious crush on Stabler. Yummy.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 2:59 pm

  24. traci said,

    How about:

    Rehab: Timeout for Mommies!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 3:03 pm

  25. Danielle said,

    “Cease & Desist with the Crazy, Already!”

    Oh these are so fun and I can’t make myself stop…!!!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 3:05 pm

  26. Stefanie said,

    Don’t think I’m not reading these cause I am. The toddler is sick again -did I mention she had croup last week? I’m really hoping it’s not hand foot mouth disease which someone in her preschool class just had. Anyway, keep ’em coming!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 4:11 pm

  27. Kyddryn said,

    “I got out of bed for THIS??”

    “Neurotic is the new Sane – how one woman came to embrace the crazy and find the fun in dysfunction.”

    “Your way? All ways are MY way!!” (With a nod to the Queen of Hearts)

    I bet I could think of a few more, if only I wasn’t so freakin’ tired.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

    | May 29, 2008 @ 4:40 pm

  28. Heather said,

    How about

    “My Kids Have Cooties”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

  29. Danielle said,

    “Asylums are the New Suburbs”

    (Am I only making myself laugh hysterically! hahahahaha!)


    | May 29, 2008 @ 5:35 pm

  30. MereCat said,

    “You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube”

    More to follow…

    | May 29, 2008 @ 6:08 pm

  31. Anonymous said,

    “When life hands you lemons, squeeze them and add vodka”

    I don’t know that’s kinda lame, but just trying to come up with something with alchohol in the title so you can really make a name for yourself

    | May 29, 2008 @ 6:55 pm

  32. Danielle said,

    “Just Add Vodka”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 7:02 pm

  33. Leslie said,

    I agree with Cherise! I don’t visit for a few days and I miss all the good shit. Not to say that a book naming challenge isn’t good shit but I so do love drama. Oh well serves me right I guess. I’ll try to come up with something for your book title – God knows I could use the $100 – I’m low on gas!!!

    | May 29, 2008 @ 7:31 pm

  34. GIRL'S GONE CHILD said,

    My Way And The Highway (do you have any good drug-doing essays?…) You could call it My Way and the Highway and other essays and call one of the essays “My Way and the Highway” and write something about dropping acid or just… taking too much Nyquil. Or something. Heh.

    And btw, I have the opposite problem you have. I have a great title for a book of essays and no essays to put in it.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 9:03 pm

  35. Dixlet said,

    “It’s not me, it’s you”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 9:23 pm

  36. Miss Merry Sunshine said,

    If you need essay about doing acid…I’m your chick…

    “…and, back to ME.”

    Feel free to use that in coversation when someone cuts off you story..rude!

    “It’s cute you think I listen to you”

    I’m not all that creative, maybe I should drop some acid…

    | May 29, 2008 @ 9:25 pm

  37. Toast 2 Mom said,

    How ’bout:
    “Swiper, no swiping!”
    “Same soup, different bowl.”
    “As if…”
    “You are a happy being…in bed”
    “Let’s see where this falls on my care meter”
    “Is this some kind of joke?”

    Keep thinking… excited for the new book.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 9:46 pm

  38. giggleblue said,

    “hard heads and soft spots”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 10:28 pm

  39. giggleblue said,

    “life without the manual”

    | May 29, 2008 @ 10:29 pm

  40. Undomestic Diva said,

    “It ain’t how mama did it.”


    “The Rules Rewritten”


    “Subjective Recollections”


    “Life on the Couch” (meaning therapy couch)


    “Tales from the Crib”

    or… I could go on for days, unfortunately, by law, I have to feed my kids.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 10:57 pm

  41. Stefanie said,

    Thank you all so much for the ideas! So many of them are fantastic. So far, my favorites are: It’s Not Me, It’s You – Subjective Recollections – Hard Heads and Soft Spots and Life on the Couch. But, it’s still up for grabs right now.

    | May 29, 2008 @ 11:27 pm

  42. Christie said,

    Barney, Calliou and the Backyardigans: A love/hate story

    | May 30, 2008 @ 12:14 am

  43. MamaMia said,

    A Glass of Wine Lasts a Minute, Babies Last Forever

    | May 30, 2008 @ 12:22 am

  44. Julia said,

    Walking to the beat of a different bummer

    | May 30, 2008 @ 1:08 am

  45. Toast 2 Mom said,

    “I’m in a narcissistic state of mind.”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 2:15 am

  46. Bridget said,

    How about “I’m not much, but I’m all I think about”?

    | May 30, 2008 @ 2:16 am

  47. Marly said,

    “Where I’ve been (so you don’t have to go there)”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 2:22 am

  48. Heather said,

    “The Way I Remember It”

    “They Aren’t ALL Good Decisions”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 6:26 am

  49. Danielle said,

    “In All My Medicated Glory”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 11:11 am

  50. Shes said,

    “Let the Whine flow” (purposely spelled that way)

    “Whine with your Cheese?”

    Or someone other cute play on wine/whine.

    | May 30, 2008 @ 11:58 am

  51. MereCat said,

    “Just Make Sure You Never Run Out of Vodka”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 12:28 pm

  52. Lisa said,

    “It’s not all feces all the time”.

    | May 30, 2008 @ 12:40 pm

  53. Jessica said,

    “Whining, It’s Not Just For Kids Anymore.”

    “Husbands, Children, and Other Reasons to Drink Before Noon”

    “It’s All My Fault… And Other Things I Learned During My Child’s Therapy Sessions”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 1:58 pm

  54. Jessica said,

    “Laughter is the Best Medicine… Prozac is a Close Second”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 2:11 pm

  55. Ramblin' Red said,


    I missed the drama, and that makes me sad!

    “Convention is overrated; My ways are better”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 4:35 pm

  56. Tiffany said,

    I’m still trying to figure out what I missed! It was only 2 days I didn’t come here!

    | May 30, 2008 @ 7:24 pm

  57. Christine said,

    “Like I care”

    | May 30, 2008 @ 11:44 pm

  58. Leah said,

    It’s My Way or the Highball

    | May 31, 2008 @ 12:43 am

  59. Lil Mouse said,

    Life in the Fast Lane

    It’s my way or sleep on the couch

    The bad girl’s guide to getting what she wants

    and of course “Because I said so” – neatly trimmed from my own blog.

    | May 31, 2008 @ 3:45 pm

  60. Anonymous said,

    “parenting from bed”

    I was going to write it after recovery from back surgery with 2 toddlers…

    | June 1, 2008 @ 3:48 am

  61. Kari said,

    I’m Awesome, You Just Haven’t Been Forced to Realize it Yet.

    | June 1, 2008 @ 4:01 am

  62. Stacy said,

    Crazy is as Crazy Does – all the things I can’t blame on the voices in my head

    Therapy’s Great, But Tequila’s Cheaper

    This Wasn’t Covered in Home Ec!

    | June 1, 2008 @ 5:07 am

  63. Black Hockey Jesus said,

    Loco, Essays

    | June 1, 2008 @ 8:05 am

  64. Christina said,

    My idea:

    “Following the Herd Is For Cows”

    | June 1, 2008 @ 4:14 pm

  65. Kat said,

    How about:

    “no more HAPPY ENDINGS” and have a bride holding her bouquet with a huge smile on her face for the cover

    either I dreamed this idea or it’s out there…

    | June 1, 2008 @ 4:35 pm

  66. whatthef*ck said,

    i dont have a good title for you but i wish i did. i dig your blog and i think we may have been separated at birth. pretty, petite-ish brunettes with long hair worn straight, warped and jaded, possibly a little self-absorbed, mothers of multiple daughters, good writers known for tellin’ it like it is, firm believers that parenting and alcohol go together better than ramalamalama-gadinkydawhatever. i saw your picture and we really do look alike. and we both have enough good taste to adore that skull and crossbones tiara top for our daughters. (here’s a shirt i want for me. “trophy wife” i need that shirt. if i ever get it made, you need one too.)

    and then there is a mutual fondness of the substances. if only i didnt rip myself a new one every morning after. do you do that? damn i sure do know how to have a good time… and then ruin in it the next morning. what the fuck?

    good luck with growing those babies.

    | June 1, 2008 @ 5:01 pm

  67. Kat said,

    or maybe “And you thought you got a happy ending”

    still trying!!!

    | June 1, 2008 @ 5:09 pm

  68. Mommy Melee said,

    Shaken and Stirred

    Am I There Yet?

    | June 2, 2008 @ 2:25 am

  69. Kari said,

    How about a play on your blog title?

    “Chairman of the Bored”

    (or Chairwoman of the Bored”

    | June 2, 2008 @ 3:48 pm

  70. gmcountrymama said,

    When the hell did you find the time to write another book?! That’s not a title guess.
    How about.. I Just Wanted What I Wanted.?

    | June 2, 2008 @ 5:23 pm

  71. Sharon said,

    How about “What they don’t tell you about toddlers..”
    “College can’t come soon enough”

    Ok.. I am still thinking about it…

    | June 2, 2008 @ 6:50 pm

  72. Real Mom said,

    New to your blog, but I adore titling. My ideas for the hat:

    *Life without Control

    *Upper Crusts & Low Lifes–and I’m Caught in the Middle

    *The Way We Weren’t

    *A Land Flowing with Ilk and Money

    *Got Ilk: I Know Family Matters But I Just Wish They’d Leave Me Alone

    *I’ll Have a Roll in Bed with Honey: Sex, It Isn’t Just for Breakfast Anymore

    | June 3, 2008 @ 1:18 am

  73. Kelsey said,

    Still reading these comments?

    How about:

    I’ve Been Through Hell and All I Got Was This Stupid Memoir

    | June 3, 2008 @ 3:28 am

  74. Undomestic Diva said,

    I have issues. Clearly. Because two or three days later, I’m still thinking about this. And it’s bothering me. You said you liked two of my suggestions. I think (if you end up using them) you should combine the two:

    Life on the (therapy) couch: Subjective Recollections

    Whew. I feel better now, getting that off my chest.

    | June 3, 2008 @ 4:36 am

  75. Always Home and Uncool said,

    You’re Still Here?

    Life, Unlike My Wine Glass, Is Not Symmetrical

    | June 3, 2008 @ 4:59 pm

  76. Carrie said,

    first time reader, so it’s tough guessing a title based on the posts currently up.

    how about “When you’re always right, you don’t need to judge.”


    “Cause sometimes ‘setting the bar’ in life involves vodka”

    either way; I’m glad to have found you… you’re a good read.

    | June 7, 2008 @ 2:26 am

  77. Cheryl said,

    Forget Lewis and Clark: Musings of an opinionated Mother

    Shaken and Stirred: Dealings in Domestic Bliss

    3 Girls, 1 Husband, and Me – Because it’s all about Me

    When They Say Go Right, I Turn Left

    | June 9, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

  78. Elizabeth Lyons said,

    Here’s my 2-cents (aka suggestion):

    “Bourbon: It’s What’s for Dinner”

    Hope we can connect soon!

    Elizabeth Lyons

    | June 14, 2008 @ 4:38 pm

  79. autismintellectual said,

    Here’s a good one:

    “Sorry, The Highway’s Backed Up: Doing Things My Way”

    | July 28, 2008 @ 10:48 pm

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