The Politics of Blogging

Hey I have a question for the bloggers out there who read mine, are kind enough to comment and offer support during all the insanity I’ve gone through with this twin pregnancy, bed rest, heroin addiction (okay maybe not that but you never know when it could crop up and I’ll need the support of virtual friends) and my general need to express myself. When I first started blogging I knew almost nothing about it except that it existed and apparently this Dooce person was very popular. So, I began to ramble about new parenthood and how lost and depressed I felt and people responded! It was intoxicating. Of course, since then I’ve sought out like minded people, met some friends through this medium and been painfully honest in an attempt to connect.

I’ve always felt that blogging is just that, a way to connect, to strengthen each other and to help others by telling our story. Sort of like AA but without all the annoying mottos.

But here’s where I sometimes get confused and I wonder if others feel this way. Is blogging a popularity thing? Is there a heirarchy like in high school? I was just pondering this because apparently Dooce and I have the same editor at our publishing company and I emailed her a few times to let her know that I was inspired by blogging by her early on and that we have this pretty major thing in common. I never heard back. I’ve actually contacted another couple of “big” bloggers with quick email to say that I was going through something similar etc. and never heard back. Do I have lice? Or does my blog?

Due to having a book out that some people connect with and see fit to email me, I have always always felt the need to at least acknowlege the time it takes to tell me that they enjoyed my book or blog or makeup or that they think I’m completely psychotic. Either way, I give a quick hello.

Why do I suddenly feel like Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles? Maybe colic is just starting to affect my self esteem.


Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 26, 2008 8:59 pmUncategorized113 comments  


  1. Historic Moment said,

    To a certain extent, yes, I think it’s a popularity thing like in high school. The popular girls talk amongst themselves, but tend not to chit-chat with those of us who are lower on the totem-pole. I’ve tried to become friends with a few people on the web with similar results to yours. I guess we never really out grow those constraints which is sad…

    | February 27, 2008 @ 5:59 pm

  2. Coma Girl said,

    To me, you’re a big blogger (and one of my favorites!)

    Can’t wait to read the new book!

    (I am SO uncool, I don’t even know who Dooce is)

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:10 pm

  3. Y said,

    Ok, so, I’ve had people upset with me because I’ve not responded to their emails and I have publicly acknowledged on my blog that I can be a complete asshole about emails, but! I don’t mean to be. It’s just that sometimes the emails are so personal and moving I just don’t know what to say back. SO I sit on the email, waiting until I can write the PERFECT response and a couple of weeks go by and then I feel like a complete jerk for having taken so long and … well…. I never email a response. So, I suppose that I can understand why people don’t always return emails.

    THAT SAID. I do think that there is a certain “level” of bloggers who come off as “too good” to interact with the low trafficked bloggers, such as you and me. They have a very tight circle of blogging friends and it’s impossible to penetrate (haha) that circle.

    I don’t know that it’s necessarily a bad thing– we all form bonds and circles of friends that we feel comfortable with, but I can understand why people get annoyed with it. (As people have been annoyed with me.)

    But seriously, screw Dooce, YOU’VE GOT ME, BITCH.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:15 pm

  4. Gabriella said,

    I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and a half now; I absolutely love it.

    Yes I sometimes do think blogging is the same as high school, which is sad considering most of us are over the age of 25.

    As for not even responding to your email, that’s just plain rude.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:18 pm

  5. Meredith said,

    Well, if it makes you feel any better…After I had my daughter, I was searching for a book that would help me through the rough post-partum period (umm – still getting through it a year later, but whatever). Your book caught my eye and I read it in one day/night. It spoke to me and made me feel NORMAL!

    Anyway – right around this time, I was discovering the blogging community…I think I stumbled on a Mom 101 post when I was looking for advice on cry-it-out. I began clicking on blogs, finding my favorites, and reading them everyday. One thing led to another and I found your blog…But I didn’t realize for a couple of days that this great blog that I loved to read was written by the author of a book I loved!

    I have recently started writing more often on a public blog (used to write all the time on a “secret” blog). I love the community and even though I rarely get comments from people other than my “real-life” friends, I keep reading and commenting. I think it is gutsy to put yourself out there the way you do, and take it from me, you have a “following”.

    (Okay, now I feel like the high school girl who tries way too hard to be everyone’s friend.)

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:33 pm

  6. Finding My New Normal said,

    I think it is like high school with a certain heirarchy of “Big” bloggers. I’ve written to Dooce as well and never heard back. It may be one of those things where she can’t reply to everyone so she replies to no one. Who knows.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:41 pm

  7. Molly said,

    I think Dooce mentions somewhere on her blog or in an interview she did somewhere that she rarely responds to her emails, just based on the vast number of them that she gets. I know exactly how you feel though; Julie of A Little Pregnant once responded to a comment I made on her blog and I felt like the star quarterback had asked me to Prom, just to carry on the high school metaphor.

    I very much have never felt like one of the cool kids. My readership is modest, I get the occasional comment from strangers, but mostly from real-life friends, and I have made a couple of close friends from blogging, but mostly I go totally unobserved from class to class under the noses of the homecoming queen and her lunch table.

    In a way it makes me sad that, even on the internet, there are cliques instead of a bigger community of people having common experiences and talking about them. On the other hand, it kinda keeps some of my earth-shaking dumbassery from being on wider display, for which I’m grateful.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:50 pm

  8. DadGoneMad said,

    I’d like to leave a comment but I’m far too important for this blog.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:51 pm

  9. Diana said,

    Who the hell is Dooce? And, really, who cares? People… I know this girl personally…and she is waaaaaay cooler than she is letting on. Afterall, we’re friends, right? ‘Nuff said.

    Truly, my dear sweet BFF…your blog inspires and entertains me everyday. I read every last sentence AND I go back and read the archives. Screw Dooce. Sounds like douche-bag anyway!

    | February 27, 2008 @ 6:56 pm

  10. Anonymous said,

    I dont have a blog but I recently stumbled on yours and thought that it was funny. I am definitly going to be buying your books. I am pregnant with my first and have no friggin clue what I am in for. I really hope that it is not colic though. Sorry! There is a blog that I read called Boobs, Injuries and Dr Pepper. It is written by a woman named Crystal and she is way too friggin funny. She is also very nice and kind and always responds to email! I think that you would like her. I am not sure who this Dooce is but I wouldnt worry about who eamils you back. We know that you are somebody!!

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:04 pm

  11. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said,

    Sort of, but not really.

    I met Heather (Dooce) at BlogHer rwo years ago and she mentioned that she currently had over 10,000 e-mails in her in-box. She could never get to all of them.

    Some of the bigger bloggers care about who is popular and all that crap, but most don’t.

    I think the important thing is that you do end up connecting with some people and it makes it all worth it.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:10 pm

  12. Kelsey said,

    I am also in the club of people who have emailed Dooce and not gotten a response. I do think it probably has to do with the volume of readers she has.

    Sorry that I tend to lurk here and not comment too often. I loved your first book and am excited about the next one. I’m currently in the hospital on bed rest and will soon be needing more reading material. Thank goodness for the internet or I would be going completely insane.

    Even though I do think there are some blogging “cool kids” who don’t necessarily mix with the rest of us, I am still moved by the community I have found this way and try to appreciate it and not worry that I’ll never be one of the “big bloggers.”

    I suspect that you, however, are cooler than you think!

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:11 pm

  13. sarahnu said,

    I don’t think it’s a popularity thing – it’s a time thing. I’m not at all “big.” Probably eight people read my blog. But, I rarely respond to the emails I get from strangers. It’s not that I think I’m better than them, it’s that if I took time to chat with them, I’d have less time for my family.

    Also, I am wary from past experiences of inviting too much attention from strangers. I know it’s weird to have a blog in that case, but I just want to communicate in the comments, not with personal emails. At least initially. I have made “real life” friends with people I’ve met online, but only after a LONG time of communicating on bulletin boards first.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:24 pm

  14. A Mom Two Boys said,

    Blogging is just like high school. That’s what sucks about it.

    Oh, and if you and Y are low trafficked bloggers, what does that make me? Ha! Don’t answer that.

    Can I sit at the cool kids table with you guys?

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:24 pm

  15. Lena said,

    I don’t think not responding to an email is bad. Buuuut, what about de-linking a blogger who only took a BREAK, goddammit?

    What is up with that?


    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:25 pm

  16. Stefanie said,

    You all are so nice to call me a cool kid. I’m not. And Lena, I didn’t take you off my sidebar. It’s just that I changed it when you were at Clubmom and havent’ changed it back YET. And I know Dooce has a ton of email but still…I pitched her name to my book company when they didn’t know who she was. That’s at least worth a return email.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

  17. gmcountrymama said,

    I consider you one of the more popular bloggers. Me, I am just like in highschool, not real popular, but happy with the friends I have made. And being that this is the internet, I don’t have to worry about getting beat up.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:32 pm

  18. Kate said,

    Yet again I feel the need to comment b/c when you responded to my email (about how much I ADORE your book) I totally felt like the coolest kid in class. I showed it to my husband like, “Look – see – the AUTHOR of that book WROTE ME BACK!”
    And re:Dooce. I have read her blog from time to time. I think she is one of those people who feels she is too cool for school. (This just in – she isn’t.)

    | February 27, 2008 @ 7:57 pm

  19. Dana J. Tuszke said,

    I love your blog, and sometimes I don’t comment because I feel like I write really dumb things. (Like right now? Hehe.) But yeah, sometimes blogging can feel clique-y, but that’s only when I feel left out πŸ™‚

    I think for the most part bloggers are very supportive of each other.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:10 pm

  20. MereCat said,

    You are absolutely right about being kind enough to respond if only briefly. It’s just about having nice manners. I think you’re terrific, by the way, and don’t particularly care who is highly trafficked or why. You have a healthy readership. It’s big enough to feel loved, but not so big that you can’t enjoy the friendships. I think that’s a good thing.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:11 pm

  21. Julie said,

    Hahahahaha, y said penetrate.

    Now that we’ve moved from junior high to high school, I will say that I love you, your blog, and everything you stand for.

    I have a hard time answering e-mail, not because I don’t appreciate it but because I’m kind of a shitty friend that way. In true narcissist fashion, it’s about how crappy I am, not about how crappy (or not) anyone else is.

    A data point, submitted with love by

    Yours truly,
    A middle-tier blogger who got ostentatiously snubbed at BlogHer

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:23 pm

  22. Anonymous said,

    I love your blog and think you are one of the best. My blog only gets read by my mom, how lame is that?!

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:25 pm

  23. Sandi said,

    I think it can be very much a popularity thing, but then, why do you blog? For me, it’s therapeutic. I can’t imagine not having an outlet, and this one is just plain convenient. It’s much better than whipping out a diary at work and trying to write in it!

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:26 pm

  24. Smiling Mama said,

    I, for one, would call you a “big blogger” and someone who inspires me. But I do know what you mean.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:35 pm

  25. Becky said,

    I ready many blogs (your’s and Dooce’s included). I think you have a great sense of humor, and such an outgoing personality that I would assume you were a “popluar” person with lots of friends. Frankly, the fact that Dooce didn’t respond suprises me, and makes me sad. I’m so gullible, I forget that a person can be completely different in real life than they are on their blog.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

  26. Anonymous said,

    On Dooce’s web site she says the following, so I guess you shouldn’t take it personally. Of course, I still would. Love your blog.

    “I have never been very good at returning email or phone calls for that matter. I get a lot of email so if I don’t respond to yours please do not take it personally. I am just a bad person. I do read every email I receive, however, and your email can make or break my day.”

    | February 27, 2008 @ 9:24 pm

  27. Jen said,

    I think the blogging world is very much like high school. Sometimes it bugs me but then I remind myself that I didn’t start blogging to be popular, I did it for my own enjoyment. Most times if I feel “snubbed” by a particular blogger (popular or not) I don’t continue to read them. There are too many bloggers out there that I enjoy (and who, in return, enjoy being enjoyed) for me to waste my time on someone who thinks they’re too cool for me. Um, that sounds really meoldramtic. I’m just trying to make a point I guess.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 9:42 pm

  28. Elise said,

    What is up with all the Dooce defenders? Julie is right about “In true narcissist fashion, it’s about how crappy I am, not about how crappy (or not) anyone else is.” Dooce is too busy to respond to her readers? The readers who provide her income? Wtf?

    Anyway, I think it sucks that Dooce didn’t email you back, and I also get the feeling from her blog that she’s a pretty self-involved jerk. So there’s that. I totally agree that it makes NO difference if you don’t have time for some long drawn out response, just RESPOND. Send a one-liner. Who cares. You know who responded to an email I wrote? Alice from Finslippy. She is an incredible writer, hilarious, and has a huge gigantic readership. And she still managed to find time to respond to me. It was a short response, but who cares? Not me. It just speaks so much about who you are if you take the time to treat other humans like humans.

    And you gave her name to your editor and STILL got no response? That’s crap.

    Blogging is, but does not have to be, a popularity contest.

    Oh, and LOL, dadgonemad.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 9:44 pm

  29. momomax said,

    I never got into her blog. I don’t read that many, yours is one of the few. I don’t have time to do much of anything these days, but I think that she may have just missed your email…?

    I’m sure there’s some weird hierarchy amongst the blogs with super high readerships. This is odd to me because I want the opposite. I want, like, 25 readers tops.

    Other bloggers not responding? I think it’s lame too.

    btw, Elby is so freaking cute. She looks so much like you!

    | February 27, 2008 @ 9:59 pm

  30. pippa said,

    Absolutely. It’s why I so rarely bother to comment on blogs, much less email blog authors about anything, because I’d prefer NOT to relive my teen years. It’s like that in the problogger world as well, but even MORE so. I’ll never be one of the cool kids so why do I bother continuing to do it?

    But secretly grinning that you confirmed what I always thought about Dooce. Heh.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 10:06 pm

  31. Leslie said,

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Remember, Anthony Michael Hall got a hot redhead’s panties and spent the night with the head cheerleader in that movie, and now he’s a hottie with a successful show (Dead Zone) who bears no resemblance whatsoever to his awkward teen years. Besides, some people are just natural assholes, don’t let ’em get to you.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 10:10 pm

  32. Lynsey said,

    I think to about 80% of the bloggers it is a popularity contest like highschool and some earn that title rightfully. However I just find it rude if you’ve commented more then say…three times without any type of acknowledgement back…at that point I usually turn away from their site or just check in now and then. I like having a blog to get things out there and to read about other people’s lives so I don’t feel so damn crazy.


    | February 27, 2008 @ 10:19 pm

  33. iheartchocolate said,

    I have read two particular blogs for years and commented on nearly every post in the beginning. I Lurved these chicks, but they certainly never gave me the time of day. I read them still, but rarely comment. It feels totally highschool-esque. I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have e-mailed several just to see how they were, *during breaks* and such, but have yet to receive a response from any. Oh well, why did I care that they knew I cared about what was going on? I don’t know. The secret desire to join the club, maybe? To be worthy? It is like a one-sided friendship. I write my own, to have an outlet. If we have things in common, all the better. If you have opinions to share? Fantastic. I always respond. I imagine, if I had 1000 in a day, I would make a point to acknowledge each person who took the time to care. (eventually) But three years is too long to wait! Sorry, got a little carried away…whew.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 10:40 pm

  34. margalit said,

    Just another person chiming in to tell you that I love your blog (I had colicky twins too, and I’m a single mom and my daughter didn’t sleep more than an hour for 18 months when I gave up and TOOK HER to Dr Ferber, so I really love reading you and remembering back to those horrible but awesome times) and I think of you in the top tier. But not as one of the bitchy top tier bloggers.

    Dooce, she’s so full of who she is and how successful she is that she’s never gonna bend far enough to read her email. Every time I click on her site (rarely, since I read thru bloglines….heh) I regret that she’s making $$$ off of me. And you can bet that she never returns the favor. I don’t think she even reads other blogs.

    You can tell the whole high school nature of the “top” bloggers by their little trips to visit each other, when they all post a million boring pictures of their sad little junque store finds and we’re all supposed to be so jealous that they can get together and lick each other. Ugh. It is pathetic.

    WHY do you need to document every second of a trip to see other bloggers other than for self-acknowledgement.

    I don’t think the top tier bloggers EVER return their email. They’re just too important for the rest of us lower tier folks. They only time they EVER pay attention to the lower tier is when they feel insulted, and then they circle the wagons and tell whomever had the gall to disagree with them what a horrible person they are. I’ve been on the receiving end of that crap and it’s so high school it’s ridiculous.

    You just KNOW that these were the girls that nobody sat next to at lunch in the cafeteria and now they think they’re getting their revenge. It’s just so sad.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 10:57 pm

  35. jennster said,

    i JUST wrote about bloggers who are in cliques blah blah my table is better than your table and so you should sit with me. lol

    i think dooce-a-licious gets like billions of emails daily. she couldn’t possibly respond to them all.

    the other “popular” bloggers- who knows. there are all kinds of bloggers out there- it is like high school.

    all i know is that if the popular bloggers blog sucks ass, then SO DO THEY. lol

    | February 27, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

  36. heidi said,

    I agree with manyof the comments, that the big bloggers get SO MANY emails that it’s just impossible to respond to them. It doesn’t stop me from reading them… i still enjoy reading your blog, even though you never responded to MY email πŸ™‚

    | February 27, 2008 @ 11:08 pm

  37. Stefanie said,

    I’m so glad you all agree with me. Because I’m always right so it does make sense that you’d agree but it still feels good. The thing is, I don’t care if people don’t respond if I COMMENT on their blog. But if you take the time to email someone your personal thoughts and they have put themselves out there by having a blog, they should at least acknowlege you. That’s all.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 11:15 pm

  38. Ben Miller said,

    This is Ben from ‘Donate My Weight’ and I just finished your recent blog. For what it’s worth, you made a connection with me and I’m really glad that we were able to talk (ok, e-mail, same difference these days…)

    Your Friend,

    | February 27, 2008 @ 11:16 pm

  39. Anonymous said,

    When it comes to replying to emails Dooce is an asshole.

    | February 27, 2008 @ 11:34 pm

  40. Carey said,

    Hmmm… perhaps she would have written you back if you had included a picture of your dog posing with something on it’s head?? Do you even have a dog? If not, maybe you should get one…….

    | February 28, 2008 @ 12:14 am

  41. ro2b51 said,

    Who is Dooce? Based on the replies so far (41 before mine), I’d say you’re pretty popular. I know I can’t compete. But because of my honesty and sharing my site, the NICU folks felt it necessary for me to have an “exit interview” of sorts before being discharged today from the hospital. Not everyone thinks honesty is as funny or real as we do. Consider yourself lucky. I’m sooooo unpopular now! (Don’t feel the need to respond to this, of course). I absolutely love reading your blog and check in regularly to see how your med situation and the colic is going. Hope you’re getting more rest soon.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 12:43 am

  42. jeanie said,

    I always feel like the girl at the back of the class being picked out by a ray of sunshine if a “big” blogger comments on my blog – even if I comment on them every post. So yes, there are high school moments.

    However, like high school you find your little cliques, still keep and eye on the big girls but never expect them to invite you to their parties.

    Its funny, but I would consider you one of the “big” bloggers.

    The ginormous ones like Dooce and The Pioneer Woman have 1000s of subscribers and commenters – who knows what amount of emails and spam they receive and what gets through the filter.

    I wouldn’t take it to heart – 40+ people have responded to you so far and obviously read and like you, can we be good enough?

    | February 28, 2008 @ 12:49 am

  43. Fiona said,

    Why on earth put an email link on a blog when you’re not going to respond to emails? Oh wait, it’s not that she doesn’t, she must clearly CHOOSE who she responds to, I guess πŸ˜‰ Wanting feedback but never responding to it….hmmmmm is all I can say.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 1:39 am

  44. Denise Thomas said,

    Sugarplum, Well, yes, you DO have lice but I love you anyway…….

    | February 28, 2008 @ 1:43 am

  45. Suzy said,

    I feel totally weird posting this but I emailed Dooce and she wrote me back. But I emailed her about her cancer scare but I can’t be the only one who emailed her on that. Can I?

    I answer all emails unless it’s someone who never emails me and then just emails me with promo shit. Don’t even.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 1:59 am

  46. Anonymous said,

    You are a big gun. Next you’ll be gripping that you are just too rich and pretty!

    | February 28, 2008 @ 3:00 am

  47. Rachel said,

    Blogs may be about popularity but for me its more like journal. Sometimes I forget that people can read it and get a little embarrassed but then I think, who am I kidding? People probably don’t read it anyway. Its more for myself to vent about life and write down random thoughts. If people do happen to read it, hopefully they can learn from my thoughts. But more likely, they will just think I’m weird. Oh well, can’t please everyone.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:19 am

  48. Lisa said,

    It’s probably just like High School, where you get what you put into it. My blog is pretty sucky, so nobody comments. I don’t even know if anyone reads it. Doesn’t matter that much to me because I’m too crazy dealing with non-internet stuff. I only read about 4 blogs, so I guess I’m not that into the whole blogging thing, which is why my blog is less popular than the ugly girl with the buck teeth, frizzy hair, and bad skin. If anybody did comment, I don’t know what I’d do.

    By far, the coolest email experience I’ve had was when I emailed Jodi Piccoult after reading “Nineteen Minutes”. She responded so quick, I was shocked, then I told everyone I knew. Because I’m a loser.

    Counting the days until March 25.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:47 am

  49. Lil Mouse said,

    I think you’re a big blogger, I seem to have some readers but not a whole lot of comments, and here as i type, i see that this will be comment #50 for you. i’m sure there are some politics to it, either that or they just dont have enough time.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 2:04 pm

  50. Anonymous said,

    Although I do agree with a lot of the comments, I don’t expect someone like Dooce or Stephanie to respond to me, just like I wouldn’t expect it from JD Salinger. I think writers don’t owe their readers anything at all, although I am sure it often makes them more money if they do make the effort. That need to make contact with someone who touched us so deeply with their writing, is a testament to the writer, but I don’t think we can expect them to affirm the connection to every reader. I think, however, that Dooce was just rude, or maybe simply didn’t know that Stephanie had recommended her, in not acknowledging a favour/honour from another writer.

    Sorry if this came off wrong, but my 2 and 4 year old have been screaming for me to cut out paper Mira Nova dolls the entire time. Right NOW, Mommy!!!

    | February 28, 2008 @ 3:58 pm

  51. just4ofus said,

    Ok so I have never been to Blogher and I have NOT A CLUE who Dooce is, but I think you are like famous.. so don’t worry about it.
    If they don’t respond who gives a crap.
    Of course that is easier said than done since I live in the midwest (not LA) and I am not trying to publish books.
    So there.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:09 pm

  52. Lil' Viking said,

    I think it is a popularity game. I have a few readers (mostly family), but very few commenters. It’s nice when I get a comment, but I started my blog as a keepsake for my daughter (and now my son and hopefully one more child!). I’m horrible about the baby book, so this has kinda taken the place of that for me. But if someone emails me, I would definitely respond! Not doing so is somewhat rude!

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:24 pm

  53. MetroDad said,

    If someone takes the time out of their day to send someone an e-mail, I think it’s just common courtesy to reply. Even if it’s just to say “hey, thanks for the e-mail.” I’ve been known to reply to e-mails from readers a month after I receive them. However, I do the same thing to my real-life friends and family too.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:27 pm

  54. Kyddryn said,

    I’ve always seen blogging as a way to remove thoughts from one’s head and place them somewhere to age gracefully, mellow a bit, take on that certain piquancy that only time and distance can give. I often feel better about things when I write them down and give them wings and distance. It is a lovely way to connect with like-minded folks, to find ideas, support, comfort, and fellowship. I’ve found friends all over the world by reading, stumbling around Blogopolis and intruding on other’s thoughts. I also think it takes guts to be completely honest on a blog – to let strangers (harder still, family) see the good, the bad, the ugly, the frightening, the demented, the giddy – and not whitewash it all to be more palatable to the masses.

    In blogging, as with just about everything, there will be those who feel themselves our betters – Martha Stewarts of the blogging world, smug and unreachable with superiority complexes. You can usually tell through their writing how they feel about the peons.

    Then there are the ones who are plain busy – they write as often as they can, often daily, but just don’t have the time to answer every e-mail or comment left them. A few of them have found a way around that business by creating a weekly (or monthly, or occasional) post answering questions and comments for all to see. It’s not quite the same thing as receiving a personal response, but it’s nice.

    And then there’s you, and others like you, who are kind enough to not only read mail and comments but respond with thoughtful, personal messages that reflect interest – or at least show you’ve read what was said – and also go to other blogs and read them and comment. And you’ve got twins! And a toddler! Also, you share the wealth, directing readers to other blogs. That’s just cool, man, offering your readers a chance to make another connection and giving other bloggers an opportunity for more traffic.

    While I agree that it was a bit rude to neglect a response to someone who is more than a fellow blogger, but also a fellow author with the same publisher, I don’t know as I would regard it as an active snub. I will admit, though, that while I may be a bitter old nag about many things, I am always hopeful that people aren’t being actively cruel, but more forgetful or unconscious of their neglect. I know better, but I can’t help being the tiniest bit optimistic about the inherent good in people. Perhaps I should be medicated after all.

    In the end, I think it boils down to how you and your readers perceive you – if you are happy with what you write, with your traffic and content, then it doesn’t matter whether the popular kids think you’re cool. It’s all about the ones who love you, baby. The rest is chaff.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:28 pm

  55. Kyddryn said,

    Good grief, if I’d taken half a moment to notice how long that was, I’d have just e-mailed it. Sorry ’bout the novella!

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:29 pm

  56. Dani said,

    I think that popularity does come into play but that the “big” bloggers probably just get too much email to respond to everything.
    I’ve enjoyed blogging because I have met new people but I’m still excited when I get a comment from a non-real live friend, and then it’s usually spam. πŸ™‚

    | February 28, 2008 @ 4:51 pm

  57. whatthef*ck said,

    yes colic is starting to affect your self-esteem. sleep deprivation is hell on earth and it temporarily ruins your entire life. how can you not feel like shit about yourself when you’d consider checking into an asylum just to get some rest? so then you turn a bleary, self-loathing eye towards the problem being ignored by dooche i mean dooce? how else can things look when your lenses are everything-is-shit-colored?

    you will feel better if you ever get some rest. and then you will feel worse again. until your twins are about 8 months old. but then they will be crawling and you’ll be fucked in an entirely different way. christ that is some miserable shit i just spewed out there.

    on a possibly more helpful note, i sometimes attempt this exercise when somebody’s behavior leaves me vexed and wounded: try to consider, just CONSIDER, one or more alternate explanations. like she really does have 10, 000 emails and yours just slipped thru the cracks. or she really is a bad person and it’s no reflection on you. or whatever. sometimes considering an alternative helps create just enough space around a problem that you can release your self from the vicious grasp of the downward self-esteem spiral.

    good luck. and really, do you have any hired help? if not can you sell off a kidney to pay for some? at this point, how can you afford not to get some help? and dont feel bad if you have help and are still biatching. i have help 12 hours a week and i’ve barely got my head above water.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 5:42 pm

  58. Cory said,

    So fyi…I think you are the coolest and I secretly wish we were neighbors (well, maybe when your kids stop screaming). πŸ™‚ I started reading your blog when I e-mailed you about your book a long time ago and I was completely shocked when you responded to thank me! I understand when people don’t have time, but I think it’s awesome that you made time and that’s why we all love you!

    | February 28, 2008 @ 7:54 pm

  59. Catwoman said,

    It is TOTAL Junior high.

    The fact that you didn’t know that before makes you even cooler in my eyes.

    You WOULD think Dooce would email you back, when you are a published author and she has YET to have anything really published (I think she was in an essay collection or something last year? But definitely did NOT have a whole book like you do), but bloggy land is pretty freaking snooty.

    I know peeps who’ve gone to BlogHer and had an absolute miserable time, because it was all the A-list bloggers hanging out together and rolling their eyes at everyone else and that it was more cliquey than high school.

    It’s kind of sad that we never grow up.

    Kind of funny that she doesn’t email you because she probably thinks you’re unimportant in her universe, when in YOUR universe, she would only DREAM to have the success you’ve had and a second book about to come out.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

  60. Catwoman said,

    Oh and since I’ve now read all the comments before mine, I should add that considering it’s now become clear that she’s with your publisher because of you, you’d think she’d love you 10 times as much as the rest of us do (which, for the record, is a lot).

    I know this probably doesn’t mean very much, but when you emailed me, and I realized it was you, I almost pooped myself. I’m not even kidding. I called my best friend and told her that a famous published author who lived in LA and had more coolness in her little finger than I will ever have in my whole body had emailed me.

    I swear that was the best day ever. Even better than the day I had my son. Because I was asleep for that and have no recollections of it.

    OK, now I’m going to stop sounding like that high school nerd who follows the cool kids so much that it creeps them out.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 9:18 pm

  61. kelly said,

    delurking to agree with you! i read dooce only because i love the photography. otherwise she a little blah. i also hate hate hate that her comments are always closed. i know she has no responsibility to me but i’d want to at least get to know my readers, right?
    i’m glad your able to continue blogging even with the twins driving you crazy. i enjoy your writing so it’s for purly selfish reasons =)
    hang in there!

    | February 28, 2008 @ 9:24 pm

  62. Surcie said,

    Dooce, schmooce.

    Dude, I am number SIXTY THREE. What does that tell you?

    | February 28, 2008 @ 9:50 pm

  63. Miss Perfect said,

    yes. I do think blogging is a popularity contest. I do it because I enjoy blogging, and as much as I love comments, I have no burning desire to be the next Dooce (not that I’m saying I could be).
    I met a “big” blogger at an event and we had a fascinating conversation. I realized that our goals were so completely different. I blog to chat about my life and connect with others. For her blogging is a huge part of her life. She told me she’d love to quit her job and just survive by blogging.
    I have no desire to do that.
    I have to admit that I kind of think of you as a “big” blogger and was shocked when you responded to me. And I was flattered. But, if you hadn’t I would have assumed it was just cause you get a lot of commenters.
    Truthfully, I don’t care all that much. But, when I read stuff about BlogHer it does kind of seem like a popularity contest – and not something I’d want to try to break into.
    As far as replying to e-mails … well, not to knock Dooce (I love her) but if blogging is your full time job you probably should reply to people. I mean, at work I get a zillion e-mails a day, and if I just ignored them because I was too important I don’t think I’d have a job.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 11:16 pm

  64. Angry Julie said,

    I do think there is somewhat of a hierarchy. I got called a snob recently on a chat. Because I have advertising from BlogHer.

    Dooce isn’t all that, but for some reason people think she is the best of the best.

    I love reading blogs like yours, everyday people, dealing with everyday things.

    Plus, I loved your first book. I gave it out as baby shower gifts. πŸ™‚

    Keep it real, and people will flock. I’ve learned that.

    | February 28, 2008 @ 11:45 pm

  65. Stephanie said,

    I emailed dooce once or twice and never got a response, but honestly, I wasn’t really expecting one either. I think it’s awesome that you try to respond to the people who email you. I’m not really sure if it’s a popularity contest, but I agree that blogging and reading blogs is a great way to reach out to like-minded people. I got your book from a friend, and after Googling you, realized you had a blog, too. I like reading your posts – they make me feel much more normal! That being said, reading dooce and Amalah ALSO make me feel much more normal. Do I wish that dooce had written back? Yeah, kinda, but it doesn’t bother me a hell of a lot that she hasn’t. When she opens her comments, she often gets hundreds of them within only a few hours, so I can only imagine what her inbox must look like. Please don’t let the Anthony Hall feeling cramp your blogging style – there are lots of us checking your page daily, waiting anxiously for new installments!

    | February 29, 2008 @ 8:40 am

  66. alperen said,


    | February 29, 2008 @ 10:06 am

  67. help4newmoms said,

    It probably is a poularity contest and a bit of “Marcia Brady in the role of Juliet” fever. Remember, though, if it is like high school, WE OUTNUMBER THEM!

    To your point, an email response would be common courtesy.

    PS. You blog puts a smile on my face every time!

    | February 29, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

  68. Amy said,

    Oh great if you are Anthony Michael Hall then I am definately the girl with the neck brace and cant get a drink out of the water fountain.
    On that note the cool girls always peak in High School and end up fat by the first reunion…
    I love your blog, it makes me laugh so there.

    | February 29, 2008 @ 2:24 pm

  69. Anonymous said,

    I was just on the dooce blog and found this:
    “I have never been very good at returning email or phone calls for that matter. I get a lot of email so if I don’t respond to yours please do not take it personally. I am just a bad person. I do read every email I receive, however, and your email can make or break my day.”
    This is what she put on there about contacting her.
    I have a blog, but it’s pretty private. However, I love to read your blog.

    | February 29, 2008 @ 2:56 pm

  70. Cheryl Lage said,

    Girl, you are Molly Ringwald to my Ally Sheedy. πŸ˜‰

    When it comes to commenting on comments, in the less-trafficked blog echelons where I dwell, it’s pretty easy, but I’d NEVER expect it on a blog of your or Dooce’s caliber. BUUUUUTTTTTT….an email, especially one accompanying a favor of financial import merits a mention/return email.

    Regarding other emails folks have sent her (and others’ way) what ever happened to an auto-response voicing the sentiments posted on the blog? At least there’s an acknowledgment the correspondence has been received….

    | February 29, 2008 @ 3:37 pm

  71. Becky said,

    I’ve often wondered the same thing AND have been shafted by the whole emailing big bloggers thing.

    I find that to be slightly off-putting.

    | February 29, 2008 @ 4:09 pm

  72. Anonymous said,

    I think you should do a live traffic feed as demonstrated on mytinykingdom.com. You can see who’s lovin’ you and when!

    | February 29, 2008 @ 8:29 pm

  73. chris said,

    Well, look at it this way, Dooce inspired a blog where all they do is talk about how much they hate her.

    And I’m not saying I don’t like her (but just between you and I, I think she’s obnoxious) but everyone I know thinks she sucks. I’m not sure how she got a book deal, but then I’m not sure how GWB got elected either.

    | February 29, 2008 @ 11:08 pm

  74. sarah said,

    I’m a total dork b/c when you leave a comment on my blog, I’m giddy that a published author, and a blogger I look up to, takes the time to read my scrawlings.

    There are “big” blogs that are just entertaining, and then there are “big” blogs that are personable and that make you feel connected (but not in a stalkerish way) to the writer.

    I do not feel connected to Dooce, much as I enjoy reading her stuff.

    Not trying to make it about popularity, but I do think it is very much in the eye of the beholder, or in this case, the fellow blogger. I want to be entertained when I read someone’s blog, but I also want to feel a sense of community as a parent and as a writer. This blog gives that to me in a way a lot of the other “big” blogs just don’t do.

    | March 1, 2008 @ 3:54 am

  75. The Psycho Ex Wife said,

    I think it’s a popularity thing AND a time thing. Our blog is pretty small, less than 500 visitors a day, and we barely have time to respond and there are TWO of us. My partner does do a pretty good job, but there are comments I’ve wanted to respond to, but with 4 kids, two houses, more than full time jobs (even if I DO work in my PJ’s), it’s just too much sometimes. Plus we post almost everyday, so it’s a lot.

    That said, you are a cool cat, and I’ll join the club of being ignored by Dooce, though she did accept our advertising money, lol.

    | March 1, 2008 @ 4:06 am

  76. Neil said,

    Stefanie, I’m still waiting for your response after I emailed you, telling you how cute you looked when you were on TV!

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. I can more understand if a novelist — or even a published writer like you — doesn’t answering a piece of email more than a blogger not doing the same. The whole concept of blogging revolves around the give and take of interaction. Without it, you might as well just write for a newspaper.

    | March 1, 2008 @ 6:45 am

  77. Anonymous said,

    I just found your blog and I’m so unpopular I don’t even own a blog. But, my comment has to do with the sweet crying babies. Have you looked into the Amby the website is ambybaby.com. My daughter had horrible colic/reflux whatever it was and I hate to tell you she’s 4 and we are now seeing a gastroenterologist (or however you spell it) because she hasn’t outgrown her tummy woes.

    Good luck and hopefully they settle down soon!

    | March 1, 2008 @ 2:41 pm

  78. Giovanna said,

    That is odd. Guess, you proved your theory of it being very High School. Maybe people are just good bloggers and not good email corresponders. Who knows! Rude!
    Anyways, I love your blog. I even linked yours on my blog…so don’t worry, people still love you…and considering how many comments you get a day…. I think it’s safe to say that you’re quite popular in the blog world. πŸ™‚

    | March 1, 2008 @ 3:49 pm

  79. andi said,

    I’m not sure what I can add to the conversation after 79 comments, but I’ll try.

    When I started blogging, I had no idea about the whole clique and popularity thing. I do think sometimes, that it is a matter of how it is perceived. I do have several people that I’ve connected with and with my limited time, that I choose to read above anyone else. I would hope that the fact that I don’t necessarily like to read every blog in existence doesn’t make me a “snob”, just like in real-life people prefer to be friends with some and don’t necessarily connect to other types of people.

    Whew. That said, I do think that some people get rather full of themselves if they have a lot of traffic and that sucks. I would hope that if I ever got a lot of traffic (which I don’t) that I would still be friendly to less popular bloggers. I am going to BlogHer this year and am a bit nervous as I’ve built some people up in my mind and I hope they are as lovely in person as they are virtually.

    Oh, and because this novel of a comment isn’t long enough – I do think it is common courtesy to return e-mails (even though I think if Dooce returned all of hers she wouldn’t be able to do anything else). I stopped reading her since she took off comments. Now it’s started feeling less like a conversation, you know? I like reading people who I feel I connect with – like you. I adore your blog. Thanks for being freakin’ awesome (even while ridiculously sleep-deprived with colicky twins).

    | March 1, 2008 @ 4:05 pm

  80. Desha said,


    Ok, I’ll admit it: I am completly dorking out right now- You see, I just stumbled over here from….somewhere, and when I scrolled down and saw your book covers, I freaked out. I literally read your book cover to cover IN THE STORE (fast reader, slow day) and have told about ten of my friends to go buy “this hysterical book”. And here’s the kicker: I don’t have kids. So I want to say a personal thank you for your funny, funny words. Blogging is very high school, I live in the same town as one of the bloggers in that “cool kids and baby Hank only” Flickr set and ran into her once. When I realized who she was, I introduced myself and got a vague, back-away slowly smile. It was….interesting. Heather (Dooce) has her moments, but don’t feel too bad about it- somewhere between being a huge nerd at BYU and a mom of a difficult child, she picked up a very LA attitude. Not worth the eyeroll.

    I used to write another blog, but am now re-starting at my (juicier) anonymous place. To which you are (all) invited, and the password is “secret”


    | March 1, 2008 @ 7:26 pm

  81. Stefanie said,

    Wowie,I had no idea how many of us feel strongly about this blogging heirarchy but don’t let it affect their enjoyment of the medium. I completely agree and am not worried about it. The Dooce thing just got on my nerves. So many of you said you go to blogs to connect and that’s what I do too. If I didn’t have this I would certainly have gone crazy in the last couple of months. So thank you bloggers. And thank you readers.

    | March 1, 2008 @ 10:11 pm

  82. Catherine said,

    I, too, agree that it is rude to have an email there if you’re not going to return them. And to say, “I’m just a bad person” is so passive-aggressive. Ha.

    You are doing a great job blogging: inspiring us, connecting with us, and making us laugh. You’re doing a great job parenting: trying new things, asking questions, sticking to your guns. You’re doing a great job navigating this new medium of communication (blogging), and you’re a leader in your field.

    | March 2, 2008 @ 12:34 am

  83. Catherine said,

    I mistyped my url… not that I have many readers.. Ha! Anyway, Thanks again for your inspiration!

    | March 2, 2008 @ 12:36 am

  84. Izzy said,

    I know I’m not Dooce but you know I love you and I always return your emails πŸ™‚

    That said, if someone knows they can’t return emails because they get entirely too many to ever be able to reply to them all, they probably shouldn’t have it publicly posted. Just my 2Β’ of course.

    | March 2, 2008 @ 1:14 am

  85. Candace said,

    All I know is when I first started blogging and you responded I was over the f-ing moon to get support from you and it gave me a lot of confidence to keep on in this medium that I knew nothing about. bitches gotta stick together and keep it real. so here’s an official thank you to you and an official fuck off to blog snobs who can’t bother.

    | March 2, 2008 @ 3:20 am

  86. Schnozz said,

    I have discovered that blogging is only like high school if I take such things personally and make a Thing out of it, just like I would have in high school. It’s so simple, but it took me so, so long to figure out.

    People are busy, and they don’t know you, and they have enough friends. Failing to respond is not the most gracious thing, I guess, but I honestly don’t think it’s rude either. I’m always surprised at how many would disagree.

    | March 2, 2008 @ 5:33 am

  87. Jenn said,

    Okay, just for you I am going to take time out of my very busy and very important day to comment.

    First…NO! Do not let the pain in the ass high school crap that goes on with some blogs effect you at all. You are a rock-star author, blogger, friend and mom. Everyone gets a taste of this at least once and it is bitter. Sorry you did.

    Though can we talk about the whole not returning phone calls to a BFF? I mean, I am not one to bitch about these things (yes I am) but just because you are busy with kids and colic and poop and writing? Like that is an excuse. Some people! πŸ˜‰

    Oh wait, this is supportive comment time. My bad. (Mwah! I kid because I love.)

    To be honest, your help with me and my book made me a fan of yours for life. Because you give a crap about your readers. Which is why we give a crap about you.

    There are bloggers who know they are A-List and live that. There are those who have no idea where they fall and just blog to blog and enjoy it and wouldn’t care if they knew how popular they are. And then there are those who are ROCK STARS and have no idea. You fall in to the latter of the three, my friend.

    Just keep writing and we will keep reading.

    | March 2, 2008 @ 6:36 pm

  88. Kristin said,

    I’ve been guilty of not returning emails. I always have great intentions, star them for follow up, and then get consumed in the chaos of life.

    That said, if I’m reading this right, you did her a favour, right? Kind of got her in the door? That’s worth a return email and maybe some caramilks in the mail.

    | March 3, 2008 @ 5:06 am

  89. Kate said,

    One of the comments here has really stayed with me: “People are busy, and they don’t know you, and they have enough friends.” Frankly, that’s what is murky and off-putting about the public nature of blogging–sometimes when a blogger’s voice really resonates with me, it seems possible we might just might be friends–or at least roll our eyes together–in the real world. While I understand the comment about “having enough friends,” part of what makes this “series of tubes” so powerful, is that connections could form, sometimes between bloggers, sometimes in the comments like in Ask Moxie, or sometimes when a bleary eyed new mom stumbles on a book (how I found you) and for a moment does not feel alone. So cheers to you Stefanie–as E.M. Forster wrote “Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted..”

    | March 3, 2008 @ 3:26 pm

  90. Christine said,

    Stefani, count me in as one of those who think of you as a Big Blogger. I was stunned and thrilled when you wrote back to me. It was the first time a Big Blogger had done so, and it taught me that this whole blgging thing can be a conversation.


    So, because of you I learned that sometimes the cool kids (YOU)(keeping with the high school theme) are actually nice and welcoming to the shy new kid(ME). The other thing is, it isn’t just the Dooces that can be douches…some of the mid-tir bloggers didn’t give me the time of day, ther. I’ve just stopped going to blogs of people who are clearly not interested in establishing ties, but only about their hits.j

    | March 4, 2008 @ 9:05 pm

  91. Deep Fried Yankee said,

    I love getting emails from people who read my blog, but I get maybe one or two a week, not 10,000 a day, so if people want to send me 10,000 in one day I can see what’s it’s like and get back to you. heh.

    I never understand why people don’t email back, but I know I’ve probably missed a few.

    SPAM! That’s it. Blame SPAM!

    | March 5, 2008 @ 4:38 am

  92. Anonymous said,

    I don’t think blogging has very much in common with high school, no.

    First of all, writers don’t get alot of traffic because they’re popular to read. I can think of a dozen blogs off the top of my head that I don’t read because I don’t like the way they write. It doesn’t matter that they are all high-traffic bloggers and that they are all well-read, I don’t like them so I don’t read them. Bloggers get traffic because they have a voice which others (not all) enjoy reading.

    That said, I also think that when they get alot of traffic, it is difficult for some people to respond to emails. I wrote a blog that went high-traffic in a very short span of time and eventually shut it down because of just that. I couldn’t respond to people and I started receiving all sorts of nasty comments and emails as a result. It wasn’t intentional, but I was never one to write emails or stay in touch with people and suddenly people expected me to Write! Back! Right! Now! and, well, I fell short. Sure, I regret it now, but at the time I just didn’t try.

    Well, that isn’t the whole reason. I also started to really value my privacy and anonymity.

    Speaking of this problem, I think that Dooce has used a disclaimer once or twice that she sucks at responding to emails too. Search her site; maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt. I just don’t think that she could possibly respond to all of them, either. At my blog’s highest level of traffic, I opened my inbox once and found 2,300 unread emails.

    Do you have any idea how long it would take me to respond to all of those? I didn’t even open all of them. I think I opened like two or three hundred and it took most of the day. And I never touched the popularity that Dooce knows. She probably just rakes the emails in. Your email could very well have been lost among the crowd and that isn’t saying that she’s excluding you so much as that hey, she’s got alot of mail, try emailing her again and again or else try another route or be patient or give her the benefit of the doubt.

    | March 5, 2008 @ 2:53 pm

  93. Natalie said,

    I *think* this may be my first time commenting, but yes, I think there is definitely a popularity thing going. I also think that the community is leaning away from that, as evidenced by the popularity of Pioneer Woman. IMO, she’s more accessible, and from what I understand, she is very good at responding to emails!

    There are definitely some people out there who are downright rude to other bloggers on their sites, but remain relatively popular. This just baffles me. Yes, they are good writers, but are they a good person? Reading a blog is not like reading a book where you know very little or could care less about the author. I have a personal investment in the blogs I read and the lack of courtesy I see because someone thinks they are better than someone else really surprises me.

    I’m not sure if Dooce ignored you on purpose, but I find it surprising that she didn’t respond given the nature of the email.

    | March 6, 2008 @ 6:41 pm

  94. Petunia Face said,

    I’ve noticed that there are lots of blogging cliques: some annoy the hell out of me, others I wish I were a part of (dork alert).

    As many people have pointed out Dooce may just have too many emails. But as a relatively new blogger who hates my “real” job and can only dream of one day making a living off my musings I can say for certain that if I were as lucky as she is I would respond to every single email whether they were in the handful or the thousands. Even just a response to say thank you.

    And lastly–you? You’re not popular? You with the perfectly feathered hair and the designer jeans? Please. If this is high school then you my dear are the Homecoming Queen. I should know–I voted for you.

    | March 7, 2008 @ 3:59 am

  95. Anonymous said,

    OK, at the risk of getting attacked by a sleep-deprived mother of three, I actually emailed you to comment on how much I liked your blog and talked about starting my own blog in Australia on a popular parenting website but unfortunately have received no reply….!?!

    Are you too popular to reply to me?

    Maybe it’s a pecking order and like you are getting ignored, so are the scum at the bottom, like me from some far away nation most Americans have never heard of!!

    | March 7, 2008 @ 5:44 am

  96. BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said,

    I think there is definitely a group of big time bloggers who are in the “Oprah-esque” league of bloggers. When I first started reading Dooce waaaaaaay back in 2005 (before I started blogging) I naively e-mailed her thinking she was like a normal mom or something and she would, oh hardy har freakin’ har, write me back. Then again, maybe she gets a million e-mails a day. I’m sure she gets bombarded with people contacting her.

    Any way, I am psyched because I’m going to be reviewing your new book in April as part of Mother Talk’s blog tour. WOOT!

    | March 10, 2008 @ 2:18 am

  97. whitetrashmom said,

    You will always been on my “pretty girl” homecoming float. But then again, I’m kind of trashy. Blogging, like all other parts of life can seem like the 7th grade cafeteria at times.

    | March 10, 2008 @ 3:40 am

  98. Heza Hekele said,

    I have tried to comment and de-lurk about six times…and have a technical difficulty each time. Blogger is pissing me off.

    | March 10, 2008 @ 5:07 am

  99. mamafabulosity said,

    I wouldn’t feel too bad because you obviously have a lot of readers. It is very hard to break in when you are new. The most comments I’ve had for a post is nine so far, but I’ve only been at it for a few months. I agree that some of the bloggers that have a lot of readers seem to only socialize with other well knowns, but your blog is great and you seem to be doing very well. Soon they’ll be begging for you to send them an email πŸ™‚

    | March 10, 2008 @ 8:37 pm

  100. CP said,

    Long time reader (and total admirer)….

    I was just talking about this post of yours to a friend of mine. I’m a new blogger as of 3 days ago and am almost afraid to make a misstep out in the blog world- so many things that could be taken the wrong way. AND, I would never dream of inviting one of the “popular bloggers” mentioned in these comments to my little blog. Seriously, this does bring back high school!

    | March 11, 2008 @ 9:36 pm

  101. Miss Merry Sunshine said,

    HOLY comments…what you have to do is find a small blog (not yours, btw) with tons of potential and stay with them until they get big…then maybe your (my) shitty blog will get some attention, lol. It seems like you are doing pretty good…I’m visiting for the first time and am hooked πŸ™‚

    | March 14, 2008 @ 3:30 pm

  102. Julia said,

    Given you’ve got 102 comments, I’d say you’re sitting at the cool kids table! And a book can’t hurt, either.

    By the way – I’m currently reading it and laughing my ass off at how much we have in common, while wondering how I hadn’t come across your blog. Perhaps I spend too much time vacuuming in lieu of blogging. And by “vacuuming”, I mean “drinking”.

    | March 20, 2008 @ 10:17 pm

  103. Kian said,

    Um yeah it’s totally like that. So much so that when a popular blogger whom I totally adore responded to me, I wanted to hit “print screen” so I could frame it.

    So see I’m more like Jon Cryer in…everything.

    I don’t know if I’m going to get in MAJOR trouble for this, but I’m reviewing your book on Fri. 28, Dunno if I should tell you, however, I laughed my ASS off.

    | March 27, 2008 @ 12:26 am

  104. Black Hockey Jesus said,

    I nailed Dooce.

    Look how deep I am in your archives. Where the eff is your parental whining posts?

    | June 21, 2008 @ 4:10 pm

  105. alperen said,

    very good tnks

    | November 22, 2008 @ 5:10 pm

  106. isimsiz said,

    ohh veryy godd muhte?em bi yazi

    | November 30, 2008 @ 9:33 am

  107. adsiz said,


    | December 8, 2008 @ 10:48 am

  108. alperen said,

    I think it is like high school with a certain heirarchy of “Big” bloggers. I’ve written to Dooce as well and never heard back. It may be one of those things where she can’t reply to everyone so she replies to no one. Who knows.

    | December 11, 2008 @ 11:58 pm

  109. isimsiz said,

    thnks admin

    | December 22, 2008 @ 7:37 am

  110. alperen said,


    | December 22, 2008 @ 7:36 pm

  111. samed said,


    | January 9, 2009 @ 2:35 pm

  112. alperen said,


    | January 14, 2009 @ 11:42 am

  113. Sugar Mommy said,

    I just recently discovered your blog…and LOVE IT! I am addicted to your writing! Can I join the “cool” group…haha

    | April 1, 2009 @ 5:58 am

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