Archive for February, 2008

The Politics of Blogging

Hey I have a question for the bloggers out there who read mine, are kind enough to comment and offer support during all the insanity I’ve gone through with this twin pregnancy, bed rest, heroin addiction (okay maybe not that but you never know when it could crop up and I’ll need the support of virtual friends) and my general need to express myself. When I first started blogging I knew almost nothing about it except that it existed and apparently this Dooce person was very popular. So, I began to ramble about new parenthood and how lost and depressed I felt and people responded! It was intoxicating. Of course, since then I’ve sought out like minded people, met some friends through this medium and been painfully honest in an attempt to connect.

I’ve always felt that blogging is just that, a way to connect, to strengthen each other and to help others by telling our story. Sort of like AA but without all the annoying mottos.

But here’s where I sometimes get confused and I wonder if others feel this way. Is blogging a popularity thing? Is there a heirarchy like in high school? I was just pondering this because apparently Dooce and I have the same editor at our publishing company and I emailed her a few times to let her know that I was inspired by blogging by her early on and that we have this pretty major thing in common. I never heard back. I’ve actually contacted another couple of “big” bloggers with quick email to say that I was going through something similar etc. and never heard back. Do I have lice? Or does my blog?

Due to having a book out that some people connect with and see fit to email me, I have always always felt the need to at least acknowlege the time it takes to tell me that they enjoyed my book or blog or makeup or that they think I’m completely psychotic. Either way, I give a quick hello.

Why do I suddenly feel like Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles? Maybe colic is just starting to affect my self esteem.


Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 26, 2008 8:59 pmUncategorized113 comments  

Moustache March

My twins are still colicky. So no big update there. Yesterday I thought I might have to have my eardrums surgically removed but it was a Sunday so the doctor’s office was closed and there was no one in my living room with a medical degree. So yeah, I watched the Oscars – watched being the operative word because I never got to hear any of it. Screaming infants is a formidable sound. You can turn up the volume on your remote all you like but they will just scream louder. These babies love a challenge. “Go ahead, turn it up full blast if you want” they say with their eyes. “We can belt out a yell that will have your neighbors turning their TV’s louder.” I don’t know how a 6 pound baby has the energy to cry so much. Yes, Sadie is three months old now and only 6 pounds. But, she’s almost tripled her birth weight so it’s a positive thing. Mattie, on the other hand is over 10 pounds. She’s ginormous and has the lungs to prove it.

My doctor recommended the usual – Zantac, some sort of herb that’s in yogurt (like the Activa commercials that play ad nauseum featuring a woman who is finally pooping on a regular basis) and Vodka for us. My doctor told me he was more worried about me than the babies. I can understand since the second he walked into the office I started crying and I must look like I’ve been stationed in Iraq for the last three months by the state of my hygiene and bags under my eyes. “It’s just colic. I know it’s tough. But there’s nothing organically wrong with your children” he said gently. “It will get better.” Yeah, well let’s just hope that happens soon.

But let’s end this post on an up note. Here’s a picture of my husband, Elby and my friend Diana’s daughter. My husband’s facial hair is courtesy of Moustache March. It’s where all the men at his job grow Chia Pets on their chins. I’m not sure Jon’s is working out so well. Sadly, my moustache is almost as thick as his since I don’t have a lot of time for waxing.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 25, 2008 8:50 pmUncategorized14 comments  

I’m part of a Meme! Crap.

I’ve been tagged by Letters To The Babies That Lived I really like her blog. But, shit, I like people who swear in general so it makes sense. So here’s her demands.

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.

Things that people probably wouldn’t give a shit about but I’ll share them anyway…

1. I don’t like massages. I may be the only person on the planet but I just don’t like people I don’t know rubbing my body. I don’t find it relaxing in the least and I spend too much time worrying that they’re bored. So I’ve never had a professional massage and probably never will.

2. I may be the only woman I know who doesn’t give a shit about shoes. And yet, I’m obsessed with lipgloss.

3. I’ve been fired from probably at least 10 waitressing jobs. Not because I wasn’t a good waitress but because I was “mouthy” “opinionated” “obstinant” “not a team player” – subsequently, those traits ended up helping me be a better writer.

4. I didn’t have a real boyfriend until I was 27 years old.

5. I once broke up with a guy for using the word “yummy.” No grown man should ever utter that word.

6. Any movie that is loved for the cinematography is going to be completely boring to me. I don’t like most movies that take place before cars were invented.

Okay, that was pretty tame. But I’m tagging Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka , Momomax and L at Good Jujy and Diana at Eat-Poop-Pray!

Have fun ladies.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 24, 2008 6:35 amUncategorized4 comments  

Mommy, Please Make the Baby Stop Screaming. I Can’t Hear Franklin!

Everytime I go to give an update on this blog I think to myself, “How can I write something without bitching and whining the entire time about how bad this period of time sucks” and the answer seems to be, I can’t. But because I’ve been part of the blogging world for so long, I know that there are many women out there dying to have a baby – just one baby and would be thrilled to have two babies. I know this. And I try to be sensitive to it. Infertility is horrible. But, HOLY JESUS how can two babies scream so damn much?
And why does Elby have to have a meltdown because the cap to her marker fell off when she was putting it back in the box? Really? Five minutes of crying because the CAP TO YOUR FUCKING MARKER FELL OFF? Elby, I know it’s traumatic when you’ve put the top on your brown Crayola No Mess pen but no one I know of has ever died from that. Do we need to go to therapy and sit down with someone who understands? Will you have flashbacks and start peeing your pants again? Because I have bigger problems!!!!

I appreciate all the suggestions for how to deal with colic. Unfortunately most of them do not work on my kid. Hairdryer? Cries right through it. Vacuum? Nope. Being carried around in a sling? That works but my back can’t handle two and the other one then cries. From the timing of it, it doesn’t seem to be reflux but I’m having them checked for that to be sure. And yes, we’ve switched formula. I will keep trying different things even though it get all consuming. I know it will pass. I know this. But, honesty time: when I’m in the throes of the babies screaming five hours straight unrelenting…I think about women who have hurt their children and although I know those women were in deep post partum psychosis, I wonder why it doesn’t happen more frequently. Because I can see how you’d just want it to stop.

Trust me, I realize I just said something horrible and may get a ton of hate mail for even bringing up something so sick. I happen to be older and have had one child already who was an easy baby, of course, I didn’t realize that at the time because having a baby was so overwhelming and life changing I thought it was incredibly difficult. But, because of having been through it, and because I’m sane, I know that no matter how bad this gets with the twins, it will get better. And I know that no matter how loud they cry and how tense my whole body feels and how I want to punch a wall, it will only last so long. But what about the twenty-year-old single mother with a colicky baby? What do they do? How do they keep their sanity? How do they stop themselves from taking their frustration out on their children? Most of us (especially in this blogging arena) feel lucky to have our children and be a mother and we love to talk about it. But it’s a new thing for me dealing with this much screaming and it makes me realize how hard this part of parenting is. The part that takes every ounce of self control to keep an even tone with my older daughter when she yells at me to make the babies stop crying so she can hear her TV show, or that she needs juice or dinner or attention, the part that has not a lick of energy left over to brush my teeth, let alone empty the dishwasher or fold laundry.

My husband said to me the other day, “It’s sort of hard to bond with a colicky baby.” He is so right. Thank God he gets it. The more they cry the harder it is to feel loving and cuddly etc. you just want them to stop crying for five minutes. Why don’t more people talk about this?

FYI, your toddler rocking the baby in the swing with a lot of energy, tickling its feet and/or trying to share chocolate pudding with it, is not an approved of or effective treatment for colic.
Eventually, no matter what, you end up with this!
P.S. these pics were taken by my fabulous, hilarious, crazy great photographer and new blogger BFF, Diana at her blog Eat-Pray-Poop! which is all about her different path to become a mom. I linked to the post that sort of tells her story.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 20, 2008 7:26 pmUncategorized45 comments  


I’m in hell, people. I don’t know if the babies are colicky or what but, damn, they cried for hours and hours last night until I thought I’d have to claw my way out of my brain with a pickax. I don’t know what the problem is but no luck with swings, bouncy seats, car seats on the dryer, baths, liquor (except for me). Someone tell me why I thought having more kids would be a good idea!!! I need something to take my mind off of this like…a LIFE.

I know, I know, this will pass and someday I will laugh about how bad this sucks right now. But today, not laughing.

Somebody just wake me when they’re three.

And please watch this little video my friend and I made starring Miss Chelsea Handler.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 14, 2008 8:53 pmUncategorized27 comments  


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