10. Due to her hunger strike, I better she looks even skinnier! How awesome is that?

9. Her upcoming novel she wrote in prison Behind Bars: One woman’s struggle to help young girls understand the risks of driving drunk, driving on a suspended license and being a total whore bag. Risks that include fame, money, special treatment and weight loss! I smell a best seller.

8. She won’t have to miss Lindsay’s big post rehab bash in Vegas!

7. She gets to wear that rad anklet which will definitely catch on with the young girls who read US Weekly.

6. More time to get back to doing nothing!

5. Post prison party in her pokey! That’s hot!

4. More time to get the restraining order from her cellmate, Big Lutrice, who has sworn to seek early release and “make you my wife, Beautiful Miss Paris!”

3. She and Martha Stewart can become more than just pen pals.

2. The next time she does Ecstasy it will be that much more intense after not doing it for five whole days!

1. She’ll be back crashing cars and making sex videos in time for this weekend!

and bonus:

Five days was long enough to get the results of her state paid for full STD panel!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 7, 2007 9:03 pmUncategorized13 comments  


  1. Laural Dawn said,

    Too funny!
    What was with that though? I hadn’t even gotten to reading entertainment news for the day and they had already updated the screens in the work elevators.
    Why was she let out so early????
    My friend’s daughter seriously idolizes Paris. Why??

    | June 7, 2007 @ 11:00 pm

  2. surcie said,

    Now that I’m all caught up on TMZ, I predict she’ll be going back to da hoosecow. Woot woot!

    | June 8, 2007 @ 2:41 am

  3. CM said,

    I don’t know. I think she may really have learned something about herself in the last 48 hours. I’ll bet you she opens up her own soup kitchen now and calls it “That’s Hot”.

    | June 8, 2007 @ 4:10 am

  4. SUEB0B said,

    #9 is my fave. Anyone who says whore bag is all right by me.

    | June 8, 2007 @ 5:05 am

  5. gmcountrymama said,

    I am so behind. Did they really let her out?
    I was really hoping for a reality show about her life in the slammer.

    | June 8, 2007 @ 5:13 am

  6. Carla said,

    I heard that she had her own room. She brought a stack of books, but they were confiscated and she was stressed, baby! I think she got her period and jail just wasn’t working out for her. Poor thing.
    Three words…..above the law.

    | June 8, 2007 @ 12:58 pm

  7. dana said,

    I was in complete shock when they released her. You know, for like a millisecond. 😉

    | June 8, 2007 @ 1:26 pm

  8. Carey said,

    It’s looking like she’s going to have to miss the Lindsay bash… don’t these cops/courts/lawyers/whatever realize how this impacts her social life???? Geez.

    | June 8, 2007 @ 2:44 pm

  9. Amy said,

    OMG – this was so funny – until I got to that last one – STD panel… then it was HILARIOUS and I think I am going to be blowing coffee out my nose for quite some time.

    | June 8, 2007 @ 5:31 pm

  10. Catwoman said,

    Poor, poor Paris. Life is, like, soooooo hard when people don’t understand that you were only, like, a little wasted when you drove that car. And like, they don’t even have a manicurist in prison. As if!

    | June 8, 2007 @ 6:49 pm

  11. Woman Lost said,

    You were much nice posting about this skank then I was!! It makes me want to hurl!

    | June 8, 2007 @ 10:05 pm

  12. Christine said,

    Now let’s be fair to the poor girl…that first go round in the hoosegow was really only three days and four minutes as she checked-in at 11:58 pm and checked-out at 12:02 am. Sure it counted as five days but our princess didn’t really have to sully herself amongst the commoners for a full five days.

    And now she’s back inside. Poor thing. It’s probably HARD!

    | June 9, 2007 @ 4:41 pm

  13. Jane is Dating said,

    you are bad…tee hee.

    | June 11, 2007 @ 10:27 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

peel n stick customized labels

use the code babyonbored and save 10%

Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic: And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up With Facts
Buy the Book:


Barnes and Noble


I'm Kind of a Big Deal
Read an Excerpt!
Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

It's Not Me It's You
Read an Excerpt!
Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

Naptime is the New Happy Hour
Read an Excerpt!

Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
Read an Excerpt!

Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N