El Pollo Loco

I’m tired. That kind of tired like you’ve just done two shots of Nyquil tired. Oh wait, I did take some Nyquil. Do you ever have a cold and you take Nyquil but then you kind of keep taking it for way longer than you probably need to? But each time you think to yourself, well, sure my cold is almost inperceptible now but it would be beneficial to just make sure I get the best night sleep possible. And then before you know it, you’ve gone through like six bottles of Nyquil. On the bright side, at least you now have a complete set of those little cups. They can be reused for shooters.

Nyquil is some good shit. At this point, besides pinot grigio, Nyquil’s about as hard as it gets. Oh and the heroin but everyone does that. ONLY SNORTING not shooting up, my God.

So, I’m getting over this cold, and a friend wanted to go out and celebrate the fact that I just got booked on a little tv appearance which I’ll tell my four readers about when it gets closer if it happens for sure! That’s cool right? Anyway, it’s a girlfriend of mine who’s pretty straight laced but then she invites another friend who likes to do a little coke (something I haven’t done in 20 years)and another “friend” of the coke friend who probably is the one who deals the coke. Now, I’m tired as I’ve already told you. And having given my daughter a bath, I’m in my bathrobe. Nobody wants to go out with a couple of coke fiends when they have a baby and are already in their bathrobe am I right? Can I get a whup whup? Here’s the kicker, while I’m deciding whether to even think about getting of the couch and into a pair of jeans to go meet the ladies at a Mexican restaurant about fifteen minutes away, my husband says, “please don’t get carried away and do any coke.” WHAT? Screech, record scratch.

I had to take a moment with that one before I even realized I was insulted. I said, “what does that mean?” And he said, “you have a tendency to get carried away.” What he was referring to was New Year’s Eve when I said it probably wouldn’t be a good idea for me to drink any hard liquor cause I was a little down and you know how when you are already a bit unbalanced a little hard booze can send you right over the cliff to crazy town and find you curled up in a fetal position whimpering about your childhood? But then again, it can lead to a good relaxing time. As soon as we got to our friends’ house where we were spending the night with our daughter, the hostess told me she was making pomegranate margaritas. Hey, I’m not made of stone. Those are my two favorite things. Together! So, yes I had quite a few and didn’t get carried away. My husband was the one who felt shitty the next morning but he claims it’s because he finished my drinks for me. So, this brings us back to the “don’t get carried away and do coke.”

I’m almost 40. I have a kid. I know there’s some crack ho’s out there but come on. I think the rest of us have enough sense to not go out for a drink and come home jacked up on coke. So, I said “that’s not so trusting. I am not one for peer pressure no matter and don’t really feel like being around people who do drugs anyway. In fact, I’m cancelling. How do you like that?” Which got me an apology and a run to El Pollo Loco. Luckily, I have my own stash of cocaine at home so it wasn’t a wasted evening.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 4, 2006 4:02 amUncategorized16 comments  


  1. Heatheranne said,

    Good thing you had your own private stash. Doesn’t he know that coke is so yesterday anyway? Come on, we’ve all moved on to meth. It’s more effective and lasts longer.

    Yes, I can totally relate to the Nyquil thing. Except here, we can go to the pharmacy and sign out the codeine cough syrup and that stuff kicks ass.

    | February 5, 2006 @ 6:03 pm

  2. Manic Mom said,

    Stefanie–is this stefanie wilder-taylor of chardonnay sippy cups? There is a blurb about your book in Feb’s The Writer. Thought you’d like to know. Email me if you want to know the page, etc. I’d be happy to mail you the clip. If you’re not that stef, sorry, but I do think you are.???

    | February 5, 2006 @ 9:03 pm

  3. chris said,

    I’m back and feeling better, thank you, having done my own time in Nyquil land. I apologize for not commenting on your family post but I actually had an ear infection, of all things.

    Anywho . . .

    Really, what was your husband thinking? Doesn’t he know that Meth is all the rage among mommies nowadays?

    Take care.

    | February 6, 2006 @ 2:51 am

  4. lala said,

    more, more, your fifth reader cries for more

    | February 6, 2006 @ 5:41 pm

  5. Jess Riley said,

    Nyquil rocks. And I want to hear about the TV appearance!!!!!

    | February 7, 2006 @ 2:47 am

  6. IzzyMom said,

    Go easy on that Nyquil. It’s a gateway drug, you know ;-P

    So what’s this about a TV appearance?

    | February 7, 2006 @ 6:17 am

  7. Emily said,

    Mmmm, El Pollo Loco. I loved that place — I used to live right near the Beverly Center and there’s one right there in that little complex across from it where they have the movie theater and Bartell’s. They don’t have any place like that up here.

    If I thought Nyquil or the active ingredients that they use to make meth would help me, I’d be all over that stuff because I hear that crack ho’s get pregnant easily 😉

    | February 8, 2006 @ 5:37 am

  8. Marque said,

    Hey girl – remember me? I am your internet “soul” mom buddy out here in NC. I am sooooo jealous – I would do anything for any coke or meth. I have been doing the adderall thing but it doesn’t work too good cuz I have freakin ADD. Dammit. And, it’s not like you can just walk up to someone in PTA and say “hey, do you know where I can score some coke?” Maybe I need some Nyquil. Woo Hoo – party on! I need it – I can write a whole blog on the pit we are in right now. Waa Waa. Visit me soon! http://www.thewritemom.blogspot.com


    | February 9, 2006 @ 3:18 am

  9. Alexa said,

    Um, will you marry me? I am putting a link to your blog on my blog right this very instant. Well, ok, the instant after I finish typing this.

    | February 9, 2006 @ 5:44 pm

  10. Stacy said,

    You go girl!

    | February 9, 2006 @ 8:08 pm

  11. dazed said,

    husband was a nyquil addict. He preferred the sams brand because it was a cheap habit. I had to shake him up a bit to get him to see the problem. He said it “helped him sleep” which it did. Entirely too much. I had to rid the house of nyquil. Eventually he got the point.

    | February 9, 2006 @ 11:41 pm

  12. Misfit Hausfrau said,

    A television appearance? Wow!

    | February 10, 2006 @ 1:41 am

  13. chris said,

    Time to update. This is making me hungry for chicken.

    | February 10, 2006 @ 2:15 am

  14. Shannon said,

    I just laughed so appreciatively because the dynamic between you and your husband is SO me and Dave. He would totally have said that to me, were I on my way out to meet my raver friends-of-friends. He’s the rational one; I’m the one that gets “carried away”. But nowadays that just means getting up for one too many karaoke renditions of “Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi after one too many kamakaze shots.

    | February 10, 2006 @ 11:08 pm

  15. Jess Riley said,

    Pssst: it’s Friday! Time for more bloggy goodness!

    | February 11, 2006 @ 2:34 am

  16. shannon s said,

    I just got your ” sippy” book for Christmas. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words!I have had pinot grigio from a sippy cup on the beach in Santa Monica…remember to rinse the milk from the sippy cup first. I have 3 kids (7,4,2)all being raised with love and sarcasm.I have not yet finished your book yet due to the fact that I have been reading it locked in the bathroom during nick jr programs..I am hoping for a commercial free spongebob special so I can finish!If you need a consultant for your next book give me a call. The title could be”I may not be the best parent ,but Im better than you!” So I raise a sippy cup of pinot to you Stefanie,thanks for making me laugh! Sorry about the poor grammar and spelling…I’ve been a stay at home mom for 7 years,sesame street doesn’t cover creative writing.

    | December 30, 2006 @ 2:40 pm

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