Christmas with the Taylors

So, I’m realizing that my husband and I have not had an actually holiday with real gift giving in quite awhile. You all heard about Valentines day and I was just thinking back to Christmas. Although, I’m a Jew, my mother decided when I was a sprout that we would celebrate Christmas. We had everything but a tree. I guess that would just be too rebellious in her semi blacksheep of the family way. There were stockings hung on the mantle with care and Santa came every year to bring presents on December 25th. Except for one Christmas when I was six and my mother decided that I was not deserving of Christmas and blocked off the fireplace so that Santa would come down our chimney, see it blocked off and know that a naughty child lived there and didn’t deserve any presents. But I’m not bitter. No not at all.

Holidays have lost some of their meaning for me for various reasons but this year, being married to an Episcopalian, we had all intentions of celebrating Christmas. Except for one small problem. No time, money and a small baby who wouldn’t remember it anyway. We decided to get creative and make it easier on ourselves. Yes, relatives got gifts but for each other we each got to spend ten dollars at the 99 cents store. Here’s what I got that I can remember.

1. Spice Girls – One Hour of Girl Power – VHS
2. Massingil Disposable douche – Two pack
3. Barbie sunglass case
4. Giant inflatable microphone
5. Tire shine
6. Poker playing cards
7. Tic Tacs
8. Jesus candle
9. Some sort of glowing magic wand
10. N’Sync puzzle

Here’s what I got him:

1. CD visor – holds 10 cd’s.
2. Boxer puppies calendar
3. Pumice stone for his feet
4. Amoral window car cleaner
5. Sports Almanac from 2003
6. Mexican knock-off version of Eclipse chewing gum – 2 packs
7. Nascar (Dale Ernheart) pen
8. Box of Lipton’s green tea
9. toothpicks (three containers)
10. Letter sized envelopes

Honestly, it was lovely. Here’s to being able to suspend holidays and still have a good time.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 21, 2006 4:34 amUncategorized10 comments  


  1. chris said,

    I love that.

    The two of you really are sick people, though.

    PS: Blocking off the fireplace? Not fair. I’m sorry.

    | February 21, 2006 @ 3:27 pm

  2. Jess Riley said,

    How mean of your mom to block off the fireplace!!! Booo.

    I love the gift exchange, though. Especially the Mexican Eclipse gum. I need to do this with my husband next Christmas.

    I tried the “fun” gift exchange with my family one year. I got my dad an album by some singing nuns, and my brother a tight turtleneck covered in wreaths. But I forgot the rest. 🙁

    | February 21, 2006 @ 5:53 pm

  3. sweatpantsmom said,

    I wanna know what is actually in that ‘gum.’

    And I have to point out the phallic nature of several of the items (giant inflatable microphone? glowing magic wand?) he purchased for you.

    Crafty, that husband of yours.

    | February 21, 2006 @ 9:17 pm

  4. Lena said,

    Okay, now that’s just sweet. Especially the blocking of the fireplace. You can’t buy those kind of memories!

    My family did something similar and while I didn’t get a douche (now THAT’S romance!) I did get a gnome and a furry baby doll.

    Who needs little blue boxes anyway?

    | February 21, 2006 @ 9:57 pm

  5. furymom said,

    Just want you to know I ordered your sippy cups book. I know it isn’t released yet but I wanted you to know that someone (besides relatives) is waiting to read it! I love love love to read your blog. Thanks Chris for sharing her with your readers.

    | February 22, 2006 @ 4:33 am

  6. Misfit Hausfrau said,

    What a great gift exchange! I’ll have to remember that in the future–especially if we end up moving to California or Boston and no longer have any money.

    Happy Anniversary!

    | February 22, 2006 @ 2:07 pm

  7. crabbykate said,

    My husband and I do the same thing – but for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. My fave gifts over the years from the dollar store have included an extension cord (which are always in short supply) and a signing card. Makes for good laughs and a healthy wallet – two good things in marriage!

    | February 23, 2006 @ 4:02 am

  8. crabbykate said,

    Looks like we are both online tonight! I linked to your blog through Crazy Hip Blog Mamas, and just started reading your stuff. Lovin’ it! You can reach me at ksanagan@hotmail.com

    | February 23, 2006 @ 4:30 am

  9. Alexa said,

    How do you spell romance? M-A-S-S-E-N-G-I-L-L.
    The Nearly and I are so doing the dollar store thing for our next holiday. A much more original idea than our solution to not having money for presents, which is to exchange sexual favors.

    | February 23, 2006 @ 3:13 pm

  10. willowfae said,

    This is such a great idea! I am totally going to steal it. And I can’t believe your mom did that to you! How terrible!

    | February 25, 2006 @ 4:51 am

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