“If you check around some churches offer free or very low cost “moms’
day off”; once a week you can drop your kids off for a morning and in
exchange they try to convert you to Catholicism. Not the religious
type but belong to a local health club? Try utilizing your gym’s
child-care services —but instead of hitting the treadmill, go grab a
cup of coffee next door, read a novel and relax for ninety child-free
minutes; just be sure to splash some water on your face to at least
give the appearance of being hot and sweaty before you pick up your
kid, or you may lose your privileges. Trust me, they tend to be
finicky about shit like that.
Don’t forget about the child labor resources in your
neighborhood: For about six bucks an hour you can probably find a
twelve-year-old who would be happy to help you out a few hours a week.
Warning: This doesn’t work in L.A. or NY where most twelve-year-olds
won’t work for cheap because they’re saving up for nose or boob jobs.”
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