ABOUT CONSULTING WATCH! ARCHIVES CONTACT SUBSCRIBE

Archive for the 'Twins' Category

Scarred For Life: One Twin’s True Tale of Growing Up With a Biter

Little Sadie is a biter. Yes, it’s true. Adorable Sadie of the itty bitty butt and teeny tiny thighs still manages to assert herself by doling out quick and quite painful bites when you least expect it. Her main victim is Matilda who now has bruises up and down her arms that are simply begging someone to call CPS on me. This had been going on for months and months already but Jon and I kept making excuses for her: she’s frustrated from her lack of ability to communicate, she was bitten by Matilda when she was really little, she hates sharing, Mattie’s arm is delicious…and on and on. But last week things came to a head: Mattie was minding her own business (post tantrum) lying on the floor sucking on a taggy blanket when Sadie hopped up from across the room, sauntered over to Mattie, bent down as if to kiss her and chomped down on her arm -hard. I ran over to comfort Matilda but had a dilemma on my hands: do I punish Sadie first or comfort Mattie first?

I’d already escalated my discipline techniques from “No discipline whatsoever because, hey, she’s just a baby” to a sharp “No!” to a sharper “Stop!” and finally to a time out which involves scooping Sadie up and dumping her unceremoniously in her crib. The problem is, Sadie has no concept that she’s being punished. She doesn’t see her crib as being the crate of torture that Mattie does and is perfectly content to hang out, smoke a cigarette and read a little Pet the Baby Animals until I give up on waiting for her to cry and go get her.

Up until that last biting incident, most of the attacks had seemed somewhat provoked. A toy taken away, string cheese pilfered, Mattie just being in the wrong place at the wrong time etc. but this one was different. This was premeditated biting! What kind of a sociopath crosses the room, chomps their sister like she’s a leg of El Pollo Loco and then skips off whistling Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? Sadie, that’s who.

I decided to call in the big guns; my early intervention team. If there’s any bonus to having a delayed child it’s access to services you normal wouldn’t have. Yesterday, a child development specialist came over with Sadie’s case manager to work on Sadie’s play skillz. Cause Sadie’s got mad skillz y’all. This double therapist session was after a long day of PT (physical therapy), speech and OT (occupational therapy)so I wrongly assumed that Sadie would be in frustrated, tired, lashing out form. But nooooooo. Just like a pint-sized Ted Bundy, Sadie charmed the shit out of all our guests by saying hello to everyone in sight, pretending to roll calls with her Diego cell phone, giggling maniacally and repeatedly clapping her hands over her head yelling “hooray!”

Luckily, nobody can keep that up for an entire hour and eventually even Sadie broke down and pinched a few folks. It was decided that although biting, pushing and pinching are typical twin behaviors, Sadie does have the added frustration of lagging language, competition with not only her twin but an older sibling and the added cross to bear of an overly attractive and quite young looking mother. Who wouldn’t want to bite a few people? Still, we were told to continue giving time outs very consistantly and to start signing with Sadie. Plus, we are going to be getting regular play therapy which thankfully will include Matilda. Poor Matilda, if we don’t correct this problem soon I fear her childhood will eventually become a Lifetime movie. Scarred for Life: One Twin’s True Tale of Growing Up with a Biter. Of course, if that happens I hope it’s sort of soon because I don’t want Tori Spelling to be aged out of playing the part of Sadie. Lifetime, you know where to find me.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on September 15, 2009 10:09 pmTwins42 comments  

Speech is Overrated

Sadie’s speech eval was this morning.

I was asked a shitload of questions to which the answer was always no:

“Does she point for things she wants?”
“Can she identify at least two body parts?” (not even one)
“Does she have any words besides mama and dada?”
“Can she do a simple command such as bring me the cup?”
“Will she imitate or identify animal sounds?”
“Can she identify a picture of a person jumping or running?”
“Does she recognize by name people not in her immediately household – like extended family members or friends?”
“Does she know ‘over’ and ‘under'” And many more, and while she asked this she watched Sadie walk around the playroom exploring the toys and complimented her on her love of music. The kid loves music! Especially rap.

Turns out…drumroll please…that my almost 18-month-old, babe scored at about 9 – 12 months (closer to the 9). Did I cry and say “that’s not possible! Not my Sadie! She can’t be that far behind!” No, I did not. Why? Because the new Zen me, realistically, knew that that’s about where Sadie is and the new Zen me is all about just getting her the help she needs.

Plus, there are some positives about a child who is quite behind speechwise:

1) Have you ever noticed that kids who talk a lot and repeat everything you say are annoying?
2) Pointing is rude.
3) Throwing things you don’t like to eat on the floor is such a direct and more honest way to communicate that you don’t want to eat something.
4) I enjoy a good guessing game.
5) Men love a quiet woman.
6) Maybe she’s just planning to think before she speaks which is something I should really learn to do.
7) She never interrupts.
8) Babbling is adorable and cute.
9) Hearing the word “mama” never gets old.
10) Speech therapy is free.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on May 19, 2009 11:11 pmSadie,Speech,Twins53 comments  

My Babies Look Good in Hats

I’m finally going to have to accept that I have twins. And people that have twins are supposed to do dorky stuff like dress them alike and put them in coordinating hats to make sure everyone fully understands their twinness. So fine, you win. You all win. Happy now? Answer me. Are you happy you’ve turned me into someone who puts my children in situations just to exploit their cuteness and get good photo ops? I hope you’re pleased with yourself.

So this is for all you people who’ve stopped me on the street, in the mall, at the doctor to say “Are they twins?” and when I say “Yes” you don’t have the good sense to just say, “Oh how cute.” Instead you say things like, “Really?” in a tone that makes it seem like you suspect I birthed them on Mars or “But they they can’t be twins because they are such different sizes!” How am I supposed to respond to that? “You know, upon furthur inspection, maybe they aren’t twins after all. Thanks for the heads up on that! I’ve got some calls to make!”

So this is for you naysayers! My bitches look good in a hat! And they are twins despite the seven pound weight differencial. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Now shut up and knit them a hat.

Also, if you want to read the funniest recap of Celeb Apprentice, may I suggest you go here?

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on May 12, 2009 6:43 pmTwins42 comments  


Subscribe

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

peel n stick customized labels

use the code babyonbored and save 10%


Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic: And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up With Facts
Buy the Book:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

iBooks

I'm Kind of a Big Deal
Read an Excerpt!
Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

It's Not Me It's You
Read an Excerpt!
Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

Naptime is the New Happy Hour
Read an Excerpt!

Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
Read an Excerpt!

Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N