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Archive for the 'Sadie' Category

Four-Year-Olds: A Time Line

SadieKids are insane. We all know that. But to me, no age is insaner than four. There is no method to the madness, no explanation for the moods, no rationale to the irrational. This was a typical day in the life of my four-year-old -thankfully now five year old.

4:30 a.m. Hmm…I’m half awake. It would be so much comfier in mommy and daddy’s bed right smack between them where I can make my body seem almost twice as big and mommy and daddy can pretty much kiss the rest of their sleep goodbye.

4:35 a.m. OH NO! NO NO NO. I left Purple Blanket in my bed! If I cry I’m sure mommy will go get it because I am too tired to walk all the way back to my room.

5:01 a.m. Oh my gosh I overslept! Time to let these people know I need breakfast.

7:30 a.m. Please don’t let mommy tell me that I have to go to school. If mommy tells me it’s a school day I think I might cry. Scratch that. I know I’ll cry. OH NO! Mommy just said it’s a school day!! Oh, I’m snack girl today? That means I’m the line leader when we go outside! I want to go to school right now! Why aren’t we leaving for school NOW?

7:40 a.m. I MUST GET JUICE! I have never ever ever been this thirsty! Ug, why must my mommy always make me say please? It’s so time consuming. She could’ve been back with my juice by the time it took her to get me to say please. She needs to work on her time management skills.

7:55 a.m. Mommy turned on the TV! She totally read my mind! She knew I really really wanted to watch TV.

8:02 a.m. SWEET JESUS, I LOVE CAILLOU! HE’S FOUR JUST LIKE ME! I must relay this news to my mommy twenty times.

8:17 a.m. Why won’t someone change the channel. I’ve been watching Caillou for a thousand hours. He’s good but not that good.

8:30 a.m. I really like to be naked.

8:45 a.m. Mommy has asked me to get dressed so many times today. That’s funny. I wonder if daddy’s iPhone is charged up. I need to play games on daddy’s phone right now. I don’t want to get dressed, I want to play games! Why is mommy trying to make me get dressed? I don’t want to go to school! I want to watch TV and play games all day. Oh yeah, I get to be the line leader, I forgot. I am going to go get dressed.

9:15 a.m. I WANTED TO OPEN THE FRONT DOOR! WHY DID MOMMY OPEN THE FRONT DOOR WHEN I WANTED TO? THERE ARE NO WORDS! ONLY TEARS!

9:30 a.m. I must remind all the kids who are already outside playing in my loudest voice that I am the line leader today and nobody else! Hmm…why doesn’t anyone want to play with me?

10:00 a.m. I LOVE SCHOOL.

10:06 a.m. I HATE SCHOOL.

11:30 a.m. I want to go home right now.

11:45 a.m. I want to live here permanently.

11:46 a.m. I wish my teacher Martha was my mommy. She smells like bubblegum.

11:50 a.m  I’m hungry. Oh God I have never been this hungry ever.  Never ever.

12:00 Mmmm! pizza! I think I will have two whole bites!

1:00 p.m. I don’t want to take a nap!

1:05 p.m. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

3:00 p.m. When is my mommy coming to pick me up??? Why isn’t my mommy here? I’m going to cry and cry until my mommy comes to pick me up! Oooh, pretzels.

3:15 p.m. She is still not here! Why why why? I bet Ariel has never had to wait this long for her mommy to pick her up. I wish I were a mermaid. My life would be ten thousand times better if I lived in the ocean.

3:30 p.m. Mommy!!!!! Oh no, mommy’s here! I don’t want to leave!

3:35 p.m. Now would be a great time to remind mommy that she promised to take us to McDonalds today.  Why is mommy acting like she’s embarrassed in front of the other mommies? There’s nothing embarrassing about being a great mommy!

3:45 p.m.  I wonder where mommy is taking us now. Hopefully the 99 cents store! I LOVE THE 99 CENTS STORE!

4:01 p.m. Why is mommy constantly asking me if I need to go pee-pee? I don’t have to go pee-pee!!!

4:05 I CAN’T BELIEVE MOMMY JUST SAID WE CAN’T GO TO THE 99 CENTS STORE. AM I HAVING A BAD DREAM? PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME THIS IS ONLY A DREAM AND WHEN I WAKE UP I WILL BE GOING TO THE 99 CENTS STORE.

4:06 Uh oh, I have to go pee-pee.

4:15 Oh no, I reeeeaaaally have to go pee pee. I should tell mommy I need to go pee pee.
4:17 Too late.

4:20 Yay, mommy is playing the tickle spider game with me.

4:40 Why does mommy not want to play the tickle spider game anymore? We only played it for ONE MINUTE!

4:42 Phew, mommy turned the TV on. Why is there just a man talking? I want to watch a kids’ show. This is clearly not a kid’s show. Why is mommy not responding when I yell at her to change the channel right now? THIS IS THE WORST MINUTE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!

4:43 Ha! Fresh Beat Band! Hurray! I love my mommy.

4:44 I’m sad. No reason.

4:46 MY MOUTH IS SO DRY! MUST. GET. JUICE.

5:00 Mommy is in the shower so this would be the absolute perfect time to let her know that I am really hungry.

5:10 Why is mommy getting so frustrated? I only said no to the last fifteen suggestions she made for things to make me to eat. We will find something for me to say y-e-s to eventually. Hopefully it will be pudding.

5:30 I ate one bite of my cream cheese sandwich. I can’t understand why I’m not being allowed to eat my Halloween candy until I have four more bites. I’M FULL.

5:41 I think I will play some games on mommy’s computer. But first I need to put on a costume.

6:50 Daddy’s home! Unfortunately, I’m a little tied up playing Jake and the Neverland Pirates so I can’t go say hi to him. I’ll let him come to me.

7:00 Why won’t mommy and daddy let me play any more games? I only started playing them a few minutes ago! THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME! There aren’t enough tears in the world to express how strongly I feel about this.

7:45 I don’t want to get in my jammies! I want to sleep in my costume tonight! I NEED TO SLEEP IN MY COSTUME! NOOOOOOOO…

8:00 Those were good stories. But I sure am hungry. I better tell mommy that I’m ready for my cream cheese sandwich now.

8:34 I’M STILL HUNGRY. I’M SO SO SO HUNGRY. AND THIRSTY. NEED JUICE. FINE. MILK THEN.

8:37 WHERE IS MY PURPLE BLANKET? I CAN’T FIND IT ANYWHERE! HOW CAN I SLEEP WITHOUT PURPLE BLANKET?  I must yell and yell until someone comes running. Oh purple blanket was right next to me? Well how was I supposed to know that? Since daddy is here I should tell him that I hate school and that all of the kids are so mean. Hey, where is he going?

8:45 I CAN’T SLEEP! OH NO! I CAN’T FALL ASLEEP! I’ll NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP!

8:46 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

4:30 Mommy and Daddy’s bed sounds so good right now…

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 29, 2013 11:52 amSadie,Twins6 comments  

Guess Who Else Has a Drinking Problem?

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One look at Sadie and you can tell she’s going to be trouble. My little peanut is the fiestiest one in the bunch and I honestly couldn’t love it more. So the big news in my world is that we pulled her feeding tube out on Sunday night. I wanted to do it much sooner but Jon wanted to wait until flu season was over just to be super safe. I used the same technique on him that I used to get him to propose; namely I nagged and nagged and brought up over and over until I wore him down and he said “Fine.”

Saturday I asked if we could take the tube out on Sunday and Jon said okay. Then I asked a bunch of times if we could take it out that very day since he’d already agreed to Sunday so what difference did it make? “Huh? Huh? Can we just do it now? Can we? Why not? But I want to!! Pleeeaaase? Pleeeaase!” Listen, I’m crazy and I’ve never pretended to be anything else so just be happy you aren’t married to me and move on. Jon wouldn’t agree to taking it out a day earlier because he wanted to be able to take her in to the doctor the next day if anything went awry so I waited impatiently for Sunday. After her nap I made my move and pulled the tube out. It was actually less gross than I expected. There was a little hole there and some red skin but nothing has been oozing out which was the problem to watch for. I don’t think Sadie actually notices a difference but I do. I’m so relieved. I guess it was just the last thing (besides her therapy which she still gets) that was a physical reminder of all the problems she’s had since birth. Now she eats, runs (sort of), talks, sleeps, whines and cuddles like every other kid her age. So Sunday was a good day.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on March 16, 2010 7:38 pmSadie,Uncategorized27 comments  

Tiny Ladies Wear Cuter Clothes

A few days ago I was wandering the cosmetics section of my local CVS-I’m not bragging, just stating facts here, and I spotting an Asian woman who looked to be maybe 4′ 11″. Now, I’m not positive she was that short because I was too chicken to ask even though I really really wanted to know. I’m slightly obsessed with short people’s heights because there’s a good chance a full sized Sadie will only be 4’10or 4′ 11″ and I want to get a good picture of what that looks like. If it looks like that Asian woman it will be down right adorable. But then again, maybe the random short Asian woman was actually 5′ “, in which case Sadie would be pretty darned small. I wish I could’ve found out how tall she was but there’s just no way to ask someone for their height without seeming like a full on lunatic. You really have to divulge the back story and then you’d come off as even more crazy and rightfully so.
I’ve learned to keep my obsession to myself lest I end up in any verbal altercations or fist fights. Or more verbal altercations than usual.

I never really considered short people that much before I realized I might have one in my future. Sure, I love Randy Newman’s song Short People and can’t help but giggle when I hear it on the radio ever four years or so, but other than that, the topic rarely came up. Now, I notice short people all the time. Sort of like how years ago my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, told me that an ex-girlfriend of his didn’t know what the word “sherpa” meant. I had no idea what it meant either and while I was mortified that maybe I was a complete dumbass I was also sort of pissed off that he was inadvertantly making me feel like a dumbass. So, in a rare humble moment, instead of calling him an asshole and wiping my hands of the whole sordid affair, I just admitted I didn’t know what a sherpa was either and Jon kindly explained it to me. Of course, immediately after that, it seemed like I heard the word sherpa a million times a day and if someone were to tell me they’d never heard the word now, I’d think they were lying…or a dumbass (but I’d never say it to your face. So, my point is, maybe there are tiny 4′ 11″ ladies waltzing around the city on a constant basis and I’ve just been oblivious to it.

I’m wondering now if Sadie will have any special challenges in life besides finding a pair of jeans that don’t drag on the ground or I guess finding a good tailor. Will she get teased for being short? Does anyone tease for that? I’ve never teased anyone for being short but then I very busy getting teased for having a big butt and a funny walk and not knowing the definition of a sherpa.

The excellent news is that Sadie eats like a teeny tiny wrestler now. She’s been off the periactin for a few weeks (yes, Patricia. Sorry I didn’t update you sooner)and is still sniffing around for her next meal like a true Taylor. She isn’t gaining weight but she definitely isn’t losing and that’s pretty normal for an almost two-year-old. She’s got plenty of time to merely smell food and go up a pants size when she’s forty-three (hi perimenopause- I’ve been expecting you). Her little g-tube button has been sitting on her tummy lonely and unused for months. I want to take it out but the husband, doctor and nutritionist (the lovely Patricia) say that we should keep it in through flu season which I know intellectually is the right move but bloody hell I want to yank it out so bad! Of course I have the patience of a toddler so I’m always going to want things right now.

If the worst thing she has to deal with is people calling her Half Pint, she’s going to be waaaay ahead of the game. But that’s not going to stop me from checking out short people.

LaDainian Tomlinson and Uncle Mikey trick or treating.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on November 6, 2009 10:39 pmperiactin,Sadie56 comments  

Oh Snap!

Sadie is over twenty pounds finally. Let’s all let out a collective sigh. Twenty pounds means her car seat was turned around, she’s too big for her size 12 mo. clothes and she has slightly more heft when you hold her. Twenty pounds seems larger, stronger, taller and healthier. Maybe this is imagined but I choose to rejoice in the small victories. That’s how the new sober, more accepting me rolls. Yeah, I’m better than you.

Have I mentioned that this last pound or so has been gained without the aid of the g-tube? We haven’t fed her overnight in months! Her IV pole is being used as a hat rack sort of like most people’s treadmills. Before you present me with my Perfect Parent award, I should tell you that she’s still getting the periactin I told you about a few posts ago (I’m not going to link to it because I’m tired). I love this stuff! Periactin = bueno! I heart periactin. Anyone want to make me a t-shirt? The only side effect of this drug is that for the first maybe week and a half she was on it, she was very drowsy. And who wants a drowsy toddler right? Uh, ME. Where was this shit the last time I flew in a plane with Elby?

I will leave you with some pictures so you know I’m not lying. By the way, these are two different kids. First and last pics are Sadie – Mattie in the middle.
These girls are working with a whole mess a cuteness.

As you can see, Sadie’s figured out that high heels are a good way to compensate for being vertically challenged. Matilda is rocking the high tops because “I can, bitch! I got that kinda height!”

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on October 16, 2009 3:14 amperiactin,Sadie,Twins31 comments  

Help! My Kid Won’t Grow

I’m really tired. Just so you know and don’t get your expectations of this post all miles high. Managing the emotions, needs and appointments of three kids doesn’t leave a ton of time left over for frivolousness like watching a TV show that hasn’t been TiVo’d or taking out the recycling before the entire laundry room is full of Trader Joe’s bags brimming over onto the floor with Diet Coke Cherry Zero cans and empty Pediasure bottles. Fuck it. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
As I told you in my last post, Jon and I took Sadie in to see a top of the line Endocrinologist at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. I’d link back to that post but it was YESTERDAY so scroll back if you didn’t read it and then come back cause I’m about to tell you how it went. Ready?

The trip over kind of sucked because it was right during Sadie’s naptime but you can’t argue with these sought after appointments. They aren’t concerned with anything as trivial as “naptime.” When I got there I could see why. So many kids with so many illnesses. My personal little pity party was shut down pretty darn fast as I strolled through the hallways past youngsters and their parents obviously dealing with much worse than something as simple as being the size of a peanut. These kids were thankful to be upright. Perspective was had. And then lost when I met the parents of a little girl who was “growing too fast.” Upon further conversation, her dad is 6’6″ the kid is just going to be tall. She seemed absolutely normal for a one-year-old to me.

Once we were in our exam room waiting, Sadie broke out and wandered the halls saying hello to people in other rooms. That’s how we befriended a couple with a 16-month-old who’d been diagnosed sixth months before with type one diabetes. That…is more than an annoyance. That is a nightmare. Perspective was had again.

Dr. Grow came into our room and began the chat about Sadie, her history, her reports etc. The gist of the exam was that Sadie seems to have nothing wrong with her besides her body’s refusal to grow. We are going to run some labs but the doc doesn’t think that we’re going to find anything medically wrong. The fact is that she is an extreme case of Small for Gestational Age. If a baby is going to catch up, it usually happens in the first two years. If it doesn’t happen by then, and you see a plateau in your baby’s growth, most times growth hormones are needed at some point. I don’t know if needed is the right word. We are going to discuss it more on our next visit in three months. Here’s what I didn’t know that pretty much threw me for a loop: growth hormones are everyday until your child hits puberty. I am sort of sick over this. At this moment is hardly seems worth putting a child through shots every.single.day in order to hope they grow an extra three inches total.

Of course, as you all know about me, it’s the fucking unknown, lack of diagnosis, vague, we’ll see, I don’t know, not every kid’s the same, nothing’s clear cut bullshit that kills me (please see my addendum before feeling sorry for me).

Bottom line, if (when) it becomes clear that Sadie will be so short that she won’t be able to keep up with her peers unless we give her the growth hormones, then I will step up and do what I feel is right for my kid. Until then, I will continue to feed her a lot of ice cream and eat anything that she leaves behind.

P.S. I wrote this entry last night after having spent the better part of the day at the hospital. I was a bit emotionally spent. But in the light of day, this is all good news! Really, it’s the best news. My daughter is a healthy, happy little fireball who is going to be just fine.

I think what’s frustrating is that we’ve spent so much time and energy worrying over and trying to fix something un”fix”able. It’s unfixable because it’s intangible. A lot of intangibles woven together into one gorgeous little munchkin. The hardest part for us is over. We can stop looking for a problem that isn’t there and just watch and wait for Sadie to grow on her own little curve in her own time. As Martha says, “It’s a good thing.”

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on September 24, 2009 3:34 amSadie45 comments  


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