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Feeding the Kitty and Other Euphemisms for Sex

bakingcookiesWe all know that once you have a couple of kids, start tooling around town in a minivan and dressing only in yoga pants it gets tougher to feel sexy. But you know what else makes it tough to feel sexy? Rarely being able to talk about sex anymore -having to rely on vague euphemisms such as “making cookies” or “mommy and daddy are going to take a nap.” Remember the days before children when you could talk dirty to your partner any old time you want? You could walk into the kitchen, slap their ass and let them know what you’d be serving up that night for dessert (hint: it ain’t chocolate mousse). Now we have to be a bit more creative if we want to keep the spark alive. For this reason, I took to Facebook and asked for your favorite euphemism for sex. Here are some of my favorites.

 

Playing a little poker

Getting congress in session

Doing squat jumps in the cucumber patch

Getting some vitamin F.

Taking the Weinermobile for a spin

Doing the antler dance

Do you have time for some breakfast sausage?

Talking about Christmas

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Bidness time

Paying the rent

Checking for ticks

“Appreciating” each other.

Richard visiting Virginia

Nik Nik –from Latke on Taxi

Riding the wild Gillooly

Snaking the drain

Taking old One Eye to the optometrist

Going to Home Depot

Buttering the beans

Feeding the kitty

Putting a roll of coins in the change box

Frosting the pastry

Dinky Dunkin’

Okay, I think that’s enough. Do you have any you’d like to add?

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 24, 2013 11:14 amUncategorized1 comment  

1 Comment

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    | July 2, 2013 @ 7:54 am

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