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I’m Not Obsessed

So I’m watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and I can’t help but be a little obsessed with how unreal everyone on this show looks. I mean, listen, I’m completely sold on laser lipo now. I think we all know that. Yeah, FINAL INCHES BABY! So, I’m all for looking great, especially if it’s within your grasp. What I can’t get down with is spending all my time and energy on my looks. Maybe it’s because I’m too lazy which I’ve blogged about ad nauseum (p.s. I’m almost 100% sure I misspelled nauseum and yet, too lazy to look it up! See?) but it just seems so tedious to go to the gym every single day, plus only eat a bunch of whole grains and fruit and then keep on top of Botox, laser treatments, skin smoothing creams…what am I missing here? The truth is, now that I’ve experienced a little shortcut, I can’t see doing it any other way.

Why would anyone kill themselves to be thin when you could have a quick little procedure and just get ‘er done in an hour? I think the answer to that question is that some people, especially people in the “industry” spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about their bodies, feeling scrutinized and trying to live up to an impossible ideal. I would think that when you spend that much time thinking about it you can’t help but to put those thoughts into action and go body crazy, hiring trainers, spending crazy amounts of money and time to look like one of the Real Housewives, snorting cocaine…

I am nothing like this. I’m a writer. There’s such great comfort in knowing that if I want to, I can just throw on sweats, peel off my contacts, put on my glasses (with one arm off the glasses attached loosely by masking tape because…I have twins!) and make a living. Sort of.

On the other hand, I still like to look cute once in awhile which is why I’ve decided I’m all about moderation in all things beauty. Unlike alcohol, I don’t find beauty to be addictive.  I can’t have one margarita but I can have one treatment of Botox and leave the rest alone. I can go to the gym on a Tuesday and not return until Friday. Sure I get itchy the day after I’ve had a gym fix and I try to go again but if there’s no one to watch the kids, I stay home. And while I’m home I don’t try to do some kind of 70’s Perfect era Jane Fonda workout tape either. I just read US Weekly and snack. And, yes, I like a pricy moisturizer but when I run out, I’ll grab a jar of Oil of Olay from CVS and use that while I save up for my Estee Lauder. The point of all this is, I find it so peaceful to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can and try to know the difference.

Now let’s all go have some fat suckage, bitches!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on September 7, 2011 6:07 amUncategorized9 comments  

9 Comments

  1. rebecca said,

    I was listening to the radio and some place nearby here does fat suckage and relocates it to places like boobs. I want THAT. With all the fat on my thighs, hips, butt and belly….I could go from an AA cup to a DDD cup!!! Wohoooo!
    rebecca´s last blog post ..A Special Lunch

    | September 7, 2011 @ 4:14 pm

    • Stefanie said,

      I think that is definitely a real thing but it sounds pricey. If I’m going to get a boob job -which I’m not, I want fake ones not old thigh boobs!
      Stefanie´s last blog post ..I’m Not Obsessed

      | September 8, 2011 @ 2:11 am

  2. Marta said,

    I totally don’t have the energy to care that much about what I look like. Wait let me re-phrase that I don’t have the energy to DO anything about it.

    Also, the arm of my glasses fell off long ago and since I don’t usually wear them I never replaced it. So I just wear glasses with one arm! Classy!
    Marta´s last blog post ..You Probably Won’t Read This

    | September 7, 2011 @ 6:44 pm

    • Stefanie said,

      Yeah, well I haven’t been to the gym in a few days now and I haven’t bothered to get my glasses fixed either. It’s not a good look.
      Stefanie´s last blog post ..I’m Not Obsessed

      | September 8, 2011 @ 2:12 am

  3. Kirsten said,

    Yeah, there was a recent study that found in 95% of lipo cases the fat reappears somewhere else; but the article I read said it relocated to the back and to calves and arms….the bigger chest sounds better than back fat. :)

    | September 8, 2011 @ 2:00 am

    • Stefanie said,

      I’m a little horrified at that. I just put the spoon down from my chocolate cheerios at the thought of suddenly having huge calves OR back fat. I was reassured that you would have to gain a lot of weight for it to be noticeable elsewhere but I’m not going to chance it.
      Stefanie´s last blog post ..I’m Not Obsessed

      | September 8, 2011 @ 2:14 am

      • Kirsten said,

        My guess from seeing your before picture would be that you have nothing at all to worry about. And the study was done on traditional lipo, so maybe there is a difference? If you want to see the article, I know it ran in the New York Times April 30 and May 1; the authors of the study were Hernandez and Eckel. (I didn’t read the actual study, just the article.) And in re-reading it, there was no mention of calves thankfully, more about locations on the top half. I must have a fat calf phobia…

        | September 8, 2011 @ 7:16 pm

  4. Gamanda said,

    I can’t make it through a full episode of RHOBH. I just get too confused. They all look alike to me. All creepy female versions of Skeletor. I don’t like it.
    The thing I hate about exercise and my body, is that it needs to be constant. As soon as I take a week to relax and enjoy my body, I feel like I’m back to square one.
    Gamanda´s last blog post ..You know that place in your brain?

    | September 8, 2011 @ 6:09 pm

  5. Lisa H. said,

    I love that you’re not obsessed. I don’t really know you, Stef, but you don’t strike me as lazy. Your lifestyle kiiinda sounds a bit like mine (minus the fame and getting to be close enough to Dr. Drew to smell him): Kids, stuff to be done, impending overwhelm around every corner, even ill-fitting glasses (my infant rolled over on mine and now they’re super loose–he’s 6 years old now; same glasses). When I’m not kicking ass raising my kids, running a household, washing dishes, cleaning up one more mf’in’ spilled cup of juice, running endless errands, paying the bills, or answering the phone, I let myself get jiggy with the Real Housewives of New Jersey (or NY) and have a sandwich. Lazy, no. Re-charging, yes.

    I don’t know. For me, I’m wearing less and less make up, which is big for me, as my skin is the type that really “needs” make up; if you saw me up close, you’d understand. My husband has become a big runner and I’m okay watching him do crunches at night while we watch TV together and I eat a cookie. It just feels “all good”, like everything is as it should be just for today.

    By some miracle I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the way I am and with the way things are. Sure, I miss my ass from my 20’s and even my 30’s. But people still treat me like I’m cute and fun and whatever the hell it is that helps me feel like…whatever the hell that feeling is that I like.

    For the record, I’ve always thought you were so striking, to the point of being ridiculously envious.

    To end my extremely long post, I’d like to add that I just can’t watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or the other Cali one (Orange County?). I can’t tell them apart either. I roll with Jersey & NYC, yo.

    | September 13, 2011 @ 3:32 am

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