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Final Inches Aftermath

I wrote a letter to my ass a long time ago on this blog that I’m going to dig out and post here now. Then, before and after Final Inches pictures.

Hello Ass,

– and I feel I can address you with the informal “ass” because I’ve known you for quite a long time-

I would like to ask you a simple question: What’s your deal?

I’ve put off writing this letter because I kept feeling that things might improve on their own. Yes, I’ve had three children and sure I’ve slacked off at the gym over the last months…okay year, but still. Why have you turned on me? What did I do – besides the occasional cookie binge – to make you go so completely soft on me?

Is it because I’m in my forties? Is that why you’re mad? If so, I understand but I’d appreciate it if you’d find another way to communicate with me instead of just dimpling up in anger and losing any semblance of muscle tone. My stomach hasn’t reacted this way so why you? My arms are hanging in there too. What makes you so special?

Is this about me not doing those Cardio Barre classes that I signed up for? Or maybe you’re upset that I blew off the entire Pilates craze. But cut me some slack. Didn’t I do the “Buns of Steel” video four or five times in the late 90?s? Maybe that wasn’t me. But, still I thought about it. And you can’t argue that there have been tons of times I’ve found myself on all fours like a dog kicking my leg up in the air behind me in the most undignified fashion. That’s called spot toning, Mr. Ass. I’ve also subjected myself to machines called Butt Blasters, tried good old fashioned jogging and drank more than my fair share of water from an Evian bottle that went everywhere with me (although I stopped short of buying one of those netted bottle holders -too corny) But you are refusing to do your part.

Although I’ve lost most of my pregnancy weight you will not allow me back into my prepregnancy jeans. At least not without a fight. When I do shove you into a pair, you stubbornly hang over the top in what we gals like to call a “muffin top.” Sounds cute, Ass, but it’s not. Trust me on this.

How can we make peace with each other? At the rate we’re going I fear I will have to break down and buy some Spanx. Neither of us want that. They will be uncomfortable. Let’s work this out before it gets any uglier. I look forward to a time we can face a three way mirror together.

Sincerely,

Me

Well, I’m happy to say that things have improved due to my #fatsuckage.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on September 27, 2011 3:56 amFinal Inches19 comments  

19 Comments

  1. robin said,

    you go girl!!!!

    | September 27, 2011 @ 4:07 am

  2. Lynda M O said,

    Beautiful transformation, Stefanie. I agree with your decision to have it done.

    | September 27, 2011 @ 5:37 am

  3. Dana said,

    It’s been so fun to read your accounts of the “fat suckage” procedure and it makes me laugh every time I read that to myself. I’m so glad you’re thrilled with your new ass, but at the risk of annoying you, I’ve just got to say your ass was fabulous to begin with – curvy and full of personality.
    Dana´s last blog post ..Hip Hip Hooray It’s Their Birthday

    | September 27, 2011 @ 2:27 pm

  4. Gamanda said,

    Wow! You look amazing, not that you didn’t before. You know what, I’m just going to stop right there before I get sucked in to the whole ‘fuck. how can I compliment you without making you feel bad about your before’ black hole. Great results.
    Gamanda´s last blog post ..You know that place in your brain?

    | September 27, 2011 @ 3:02 pm

  5. Sue said,

    You looked good before, but I’m glad the fat suckage worked out for you. You look great!

    | September 27, 2011 @ 3:49 pm

  6. Marta said,

    Holy crap where did your ass go?

    Yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in 106 days according to the Wii Fit and I wasn’t pleased. I suppose now that my daughter turned one last week I need to get off my ass and stop using the baby as an excuse?

    Your ass makes me jealous. =)
    Marta´s last blog post ..Let’s Talk About the Serious Stuff: Self Worth

    | September 27, 2011 @ 6:51 pm

  7. rebecca said,

    Wow, there is a big difference. I totally didn’t think there was anything that would melt or disappear but your butt looks lifted and refreshed! Way to go Final Inches. Think they can do some pro bono work here on my end…..(pun intended)
    rebecca´s last blog post ..Criminal

    | September 28, 2011 @ 1:45 am

  8. fiona said,

    you have my “before ass” and I’m wondering if the east coast (PA) has the same service. You look great. Congrats.

    | September 28, 2011 @ 3:04 am

    • fiona said,

      this isn’t lipo, right? wondering how to get this done on the east coast. Biggest complement you could get!

      | September 28, 2011 @ 3:05 am

  9. maggie said,

    Wow!!! That is a very compelling “after”. You look fantastic!

    | September 28, 2011 @ 1:00 pm

  10. maggie said,

    PS: I hope my choice of words didn’t suggest you needed any help to begin with! When I first saw the before picture, I thought it was the after (I.e., you already looked great :)

    | September 28, 2011 @ 11:50 pm

  11. Ashley said,

    wow, literally half the ass. i’m determined to do it the old-fashioned way, but just had a piece of apple pie and some popcorn. damn.

    | September 29, 2011 @ 3:58 am

  12. Annie P said,

    Looking good girl!! I SO wish they had a Final Inches here in Georgia! My ass needs it too. 😉

    Annie P.

    | September 29, 2011 @ 6:20 pm

  13. dawn said,

    the beauty which is a mama — wonderful?

    | September 30, 2011 @ 6:30 am

  14. Angie Liskey said,

    Holy crap! Your ass is HOT!!!!! :)

    | September 30, 2011 @ 1:00 pm

  15. erin@mommyonthespot said,

    YOu look amazing!
    erin@mommyonthespot´s last blog post ..Raw Chicken Dare

    | October 5, 2011 @ 1:05 am

  16. GirltoMom- Heidi said,

    You look amazing!
    GirltoMom- Heidi´s last blog post ..Rock N’ Roll Swimmer

    | October 8, 2011 @ 1:48 am

  17. Lisa H. said,

    I love both your asses. As a matter of fact, what are you doing later? I’d love to take your ass out for dinner.

    | October 9, 2011 @ 2:30 am

  18. Mya Maternity said,

    I think your ass listened to the letter. You look great.

    | October 12, 2011 @ 3:31 am

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