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The Post Where I Talk More About My Ass and the Gym

So listen, just because I have thinner thighs now doesn’t mean I’ve totally gotten cocky about what’s happening from the waist down. In fact, au contraire mon frere (that means, on the contrary my brother man) I have been keeping up my gym workouts despite the rampant nudity and sketchy cleaning policy at my gym which rhymes with Ally’s. In a completely unrelated thought, is Bally’s a nationwide chain? I went to the gym this morning in fact. I think that my laser lipo actually inspired me to really pay more attention to my body in a positive way. It’s sort of like having the procedure didn’t change my body drastically at all but it made me feel like it’s not a lost cause either. Unlike my cleaning skills.

I have been getting a lot of requests for some before and after pics. The thing is, I have to take the after pics which I will do probably next week. Let me just warn you that the before pic I have is horrifying. I had no idea that my ass looked that enormous mainly because I spend as little time as possible around three way mirrors and I try to avoid having my picture taken from the back looking over my shoulder. I mean, who does that besides people have a “before” picture taken of their ass and contestants on Bachelor Pad? So, yeah, when I saw the before picture I thought, “Lipo? Good plan!”

I’m not holding out on you with the picture I just don’t want to frighten you with the before without an after to follow it up. Okay, you know what? Screw it, I’m starting to think I should just post the damn butt picture so you’ll all see what I mean. This is highly embarrassing. If I get ONE comment that my ass is my signature, I will personally come to your house with a loaded Uzi and go all Tupac on you. Or I will just be really bummed.

There, now what right? You have a before picture and you will have to wait for the after. I bet you’re sorry you asked. But are you? Just a warning: if you stare at the picture long enough a sailboat pops out. Don’t just take my word for it.

So what else is going on?

It’s almost like I farted and then bolted out of the room.

So before I go, if you want to hear some of my old school snarking, I have a new blog over at Babble Voices. I’m going to focus a lot of attention on that one and it will have lots of pictures so bookmark it if you miss the old Sippy Cups style comedy. If you’d like to subscribe to the feed for the new blog go here

Keep checking back for my after photos.

Bye bitches.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on August 22, 2011 6:48 pmUncategorized14 comments  

14 Comments

  1. rebecca said,

    See, while round, your bottom looks great. what are you a size 4? Man alive, if I took a photo of my bottom and posted on my blog people would need to get bigger computer screens to see it all. I wear a size 8….EIGHT! Keep in mind that a size eight isn’t really obese but BUT! I am barely 5 foot tall with shoes on so put a size 8 on THAT! Talk about fat legs (your legs are skinny!) and fat thighs and fat belly, and fat hips and fat BUTT!! Really fat butt!’

    You look great in the before so I’m sure you’ll look fabulous in the after!
    rebecca´s last blog post ..Things I Don’t Want To Forget

    | August 22, 2011 @ 7:18 pm

  2. Kelsey said,

    For some reason I can’t figure out how to get a feed of any of the Babble Voices blogs… will you link to new posts from this site? I hope so!
    Kelsey´s last blog post ..Big Sigh

    | August 22, 2011 @ 7:59 pm

    • Stefanie Wilder Taylor said,

      Hey, I put a link in the post about how to subscribe to the feed. Try it! And I will also let you know on this blog but I will probably update that one more frequently!

      | August 22, 2011 @ 8:37 pm

  3. Gamanda said,

    Just out of curiosity, was this picture taken strictly for a ‘before’ shot or were you trying to get on a reality show? You look amazing even before, but I’m excited to see the after.
    Gamanda´s last blog post ..There’s no bigger rejection than the absence of that second line.

    | August 22, 2011 @ 9:41 pm

  4. The Last Girl Standing said,

    Ya… I totally thought that was the after shot… and I was all “I’m sold”. So if that’s the before shot? I kind of hate you. But only kind of. And just a strong dislike in a jealous kind of way.

    | August 22, 2011 @ 10:09 pm

  5. m said,

    i totally thought this was the after shot as well! It totally is what those chicks with butt implants are going after- a perky round butt. Mine is just like a flat big butt. Not hot by anyone’s standards. I just want to trade the whole damn thing in and start over. I didn’t even have a cute a$$ in junior high, high school or college when I feel like you are supposed to….

    | August 23, 2011 @ 1:04 am

  6. Kirsten said,

    That is a before picture? Seriously? No wonder you look great after the procedure…given that you looked great before. Grrr.

    | August 23, 2011 @ 2:39 am

  7. Lisa H. said,

    I think you have a great ass. I’d never seen your ass until today, so I didn’t consider it your signature. What’s always struck me about you is your lovely smile and your striking eyes. Oh and the deadpan way you defended your ER visit for a hangover to Elizabeth Vargas: “It was a really bad hangover.” That was one of my favorite TV moments. EVER. Second only to Theresa flipping a table on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

    So back to your ass. I’d trade what has become “Mom-Butt” over here for your perky roundness anytime. Life continues to be unfair.

    | August 23, 2011 @ 3:26 am

  8. heather... said,

    Did you get this picture taken at Sears? That background is LEGIT.
    heather…´s last blog post ..Best Friends, Big Shoes

    | August 23, 2011 @ 6:14 am

  9. Christina Baglivi Tinglof said,

    Seriously? You are WAY too hard on yourself! But now I can’t wait to see the after.
    Christina Baglivi Tinglof´s last blog post ..10 Things Teachers Need to Know About the Twins in Their Classrooms

    | August 23, 2011 @ 11:48 pm

  10. jane said,

    OH my GOD! I’m working up the courage to post my before pictures and your ass aint’ bad girlfriend!! I blog for a sports company- and they want me to do before pics for my ‘journey to fitness’ and I don’t wanna post my pics!!!

    Can’t wait to see your after pics-
    jane´s last blog post ..Tuesday’s Daily Trivia Giveaway Question and Yesterday’s Winner!

    | August 24, 2011 @ 10:56 am

  11. KateW said,

    Before? Seriously? I wish!

    | August 27, 2011 @ 4:52 am

  12. Marta said,

    Your ass looks phenomenal, camt’t wait to see the after photos. =)
    Marta´s last blog post ..Come on Eileen (Irene)

    | August 30, 2011 @ 3:05 am

  13. Kelly said,

    People pay good money to have a booty like that. They even pay good money to have a fake booty like that with those booty implant underwear.

    My ass is so flat, I can hardly keep my pants on. You could share you know.
    Kelly´s last blog post ..Notes to Self…and Whoever Else…

    | August 30, 2011 @ 2:51 pm

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