The other day, I went to pick the twins up from school and ended up having a little chit chat with one of their teachers about Sadie. It seemed to me that lately Sadie had been having a little attitude about going to school in morning and I couldn’t figure out if there was something going on with her besides being three and, oh yeah, being three. Her teacher had a guess for me that part of the problem Sadie’s been having is that she’s too popular. Yeah. The kids in that preschool love them some Sadie. They stampede toward her when she comes through the door, screaming “Sadie!” at her. You’d think a giant cupcake shaped like Dora just rolled into the room. They dote on her, they pick her up and treat her like their own little doll. And this is the problem. Her teacher says Sadie doesn’t like being treated differently because she’s so darned little and cute. She doesn’t want the other children, most of whom tower over her, grabbing her by the hand to lead her around with them. At least they stop short of trying to put her on a leash.
The weird thing for me is that I’d kind of forgotten she so much smaller than everyone else or maybe I’ve been a little bit in denial. But once I heard that this issue was going on for her, I realized that she hasn’t been seen by her endocrinologist at Children’s Hospital in awhile because she had the nerve to go off and have a baby. Maternity leave is for people who don’t care about children, obviously. We now have an appointment with a fill in doctor in a week.
I think the last time I talked about Sadie in detail was to report that she did not qualify for an IEP which was extremely positive news. Intellectually, she kicked ass in her evaluation, leaving everyone to wonder how it was that she was ever so far behind, and developmentally, she hasn’t looked back since. Size wise, it’s a very different story. Sadie is still about 2 and a half feet tall and can’t seem to pass the 24 pound mark on the scale. Let’s put that into perspective: An empty 5 gallon Sparklett’s bottle could totally take her in a fight. She’s a feather weight is what I’m saying. She eats really well though which makes it all the more confounding that she’s not gaining weight. She definitely eats more than Matilda who is having no problem in that area -just ask her size 4 T jeans.
Earlier in the twins game, I shared all the issues we had getting Sadie to eat, having to use a feeding tube, worrying over her global delays, dealing with every kind of therapist, it was almost all I could talk. When you are worried about your child and uncertain about their health and future, I can tell you with certainty that there is no worse feeling. But the last year or so she’s made such strides! The worry over bigger issues subsided, and now she has no problems at all besides being TWO FUCKING FEET TALL.
It’s difficult to see it in pictures but believe me when I say that people still gasp in horror when they ask how old my twins are and hear that they are the same age. “They’re TWINS??”
“They can’t be”
“Oh, but they can. And are.”
“They’re very different…in size.”
“Yes. You are very observant.”
I don’t know what the endocrinologist is going to say but I do know that we are planning to still turn down growth hormones for the next few years at least. Unless of course someone has a very good, extremely good case for them.
Claire - Matching Pegs said,
My daughter started full time school here (Melbourne, Australia) last month (school year starts in Feb) and I relate to you story about how the other kids are treating Sadie.
Michaela is quite small, and she is really starting to get sick of other kids telling her how cute she is, or picking her up. Mostly she is happy. Her big personality, coupled with her size means that at least half the school (or 550 students) knows her already. She is cheeky and fun, but a month and half into school, I can see the look on her face when yet another kid tells her she is so cute. While she has never said that she doesn’t like it, her face says “I’ve kind of had enough of that”.
As far as the growth hormone goes… My sister had lymphoma as a 3 year old, which was treated very aggressively (not many kids survived it 27 years ago). Several year later, (when she was no longer getting treatment/was well) the doctors realized that she was not growing any more, at all. Alison went onto growth hormone for years, and as an adult is now just under 5 feet tall.
Given that I was a teenager at the time, I have no real handle on the medical implications, of taking or not-taking growth hormone. I’m not telling you this story to convince you of anything, I just thought you might like to hear that although daily injections were not fun, my sister did get used to them, and they worked out well for her.
Claire – Matching Pegs´s last blog post ..Bye Bye Aunty Cint
I volunteer and substitute teach at a school where I’ve known (for seven years) a set of twins that sound like your girls. I have no idea about the circumstances surrounding their birth/babyhoods but since age 3 they’ve not looked like twins. One girl is twice the size of the other. This is still true in fourth grade. One of them is very tall and solidly built and the other is a little sprite of a thing.
I’m not sure what my point is with this, other than that maybe they are just always going to be different sizes but it really won’t matter so much at some point?
I’m glad they are both thriving in school. My three-year-old son was a preemie too – it was a long time before he was even on the growth chart and now he is a beast with only slight speech delays to show for his prematurity.
I hope your appointment goes well.
Kelsey´s last blog post ..Bummer
My son just turned 3, and he’s right about 24 pounds. I’m not sure of his height, I know he’s short, I just can’t remember how short. He’s never had any health or growth issues, was a normal gestation and size baby, and seems in every way normal. It’s just the way he is.
If she didn’t have early delays, and you didn’t have another child the exact same age to compare her to, you might not even realize her petiteness. And Sadie’s size, just like Matilda’s, might be just the way she is.
Becky´s last blog post ..WiW- Week 51
Backpacking Dad said,
Suddenly I remember all of the posts about Sadie, about wondering if it was thrush or some other throat infection, wondering if she would ever gain weight, putting in the feeding tube.
I used to worry about Sadie a lot, through you, and no matter what happened today to make you worry about her enough to reach out to us, the fact that it’s been so long speaks volumes about how well she is doing now.
And that makes me happy.
Backpacking Dad´s last blog post ..Pieces of the Stanford Philosophy Library During Spring Break
My twins were premies and my daughter weighed one pound more than my son. I had an emergency C section because he wasn’t getting any nourishment through his cord. They were both still in the 20 pound range at two and adorably petite, although they just seemed like normal little people to me. He had digestive problems and wasn’t a bis eater, although not a picky eater. This was aggravated by a misaligned bite that ha now been corrected at age 11.
The docs always reassured me at each checkup that although he wasn’t growing as fast as she, he was making regular progress and would catch up. She is now 5 inches and 15 pounds bigger and everyone asks about her “little” brother which goes over like a rock as you can imagine.
His feet are the same size as hers and I keep telling him he’ll get there too.
I have always taken the position not to make a big deal about it so he won’t. He is relatively well adjusted with the normal “boy things'; doesn’t work as hard, gets restless, bored, etc.
I guess my point is that as long as she gets a good report at her appointment, it all will work out and being too cute is better than the alternative.
You should fight for the IEP. The school doesn’t want to give it because it costs them and it qualifies educators to provide services for her. You’ll want that when she needs extra help in math later on. My daughter has it and it has been a life-saver.
I meant to say “legally requires educators to provide services…”
Oh those darn preemies! Don’t they love to give us trouble!! Hang in there. My son was born at 30 weeks. Seemed like 5 yrs old was the magic age where everything came together for him. And now at 9 years old one would never guess that he was 3 pounds at birth! Good luck.
I am having the opposite problem; my preemie is now 18 months and a little over 20 lbs. She never qualified for the Early Intervention Program, and her daycare has been fantastic.
She is doing most of the same things the other kids her age are doing. In fact, she is moving up to the next class this week right along with the other 18 month olds.
However, her new teacher is a little bit worried about how small she is compared to the other kids and how that is going to work in a class room with bigger kids. I have already had conversations about how tough she is, and please don’t treat her differently. Just because she is small doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy playing on the playground with the other kids.
I’ve never thought about the kids treating her differently. I hope the appointment goes well and Sadie starts to feel better about school again!
I hate, hate, hate when people say things like “You worry to much! Here’s my story and blah blah blah things turned out fine so stop worrying!” but … here’s my story.
My son was always tiny. Tiny, tiny, tiny. We never had to buy the kids new clothes because he wore the same thing for years. He never even made it onto the growth charts. Then, last year, a triumph! He’s 10 years old and in the 2nd percentile for his age. We saw an endocrinologist recently and her prediction is that he’ll grow to be 5’8″ as an adult. That seems crazy to me since he’s currently teensy and soon to be passed up by his gigantic five year old sister but whatever. 5’8″ is good to me.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is “Here’s my story and blah blah blah things turned out fine but I totally get why you’re concerned. Also, Sadie rocks.”
Jen´s last blog post ..Happy- happy birthday babies
I assume that they are Fraternal twins and that some of the difference in size is accounted for that way. I would see what the doctor said and then do some google research.
Last year when my daughter had a tumor, learning everything I could about it on Google was so helpful in making the proper decisions.
Isn’t she a little young to worry about HgH already? I mean, I don’t know but I’ve always learned to trust my instincts…but then again, I am All Fooked Up.
Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up)´s last blog post ..In which it’s all about the details
my two cents worth. In college I had a female friend who was ( still is actually) 4’8″ -maybe even less- She told us that she really disliked it when people would try to pick her up, pat her on the head, etc.She developed coping strategies for this situations. When people would comment on her short stature ” gee you are SO little” she would respond with something like ” NO WAY! really? when did that happen ” So maybe even at the age of three you can could give Sadie some defense strategies and she can set boundaries with kids in the classroom…
Courtney Rundell said,
Ummm, Stef… you just gave me perhaps the best visual I’ve read in a very very long time:
An empty 5 gallon Sparklett’s bottle could totally take her in a fight.
Brilliant. I know nothing about children, but I know I like your writing. And in about 5 more months I’m going to know a whole lot more about kids!
Courtney Rundell´s last blog post ..STONER WALL
My oldest had a friend in preschool who had the same experience as Sadie. Little and cute and always had the other girls fighting over her. She did not appreciate it at all. Now they are in kindergarten and there are three kids smaller than little Anna. I myself was the tiny kid drinking fortified milkshakes and sitting in the front row throughout grade school. I am now 5’4″, a nice average height for my 40 year old self. Hang in there.
Laura in Michigan said,
My sister has twins. They are 8 years old. My nephew was bigger than my niece at birth, but seems half her size now. He is SO little. I think he wears a size 5, and she is easily a size 10. But they are both smart and sassy and seem to be growing the way they are supposed to grow! Sadie sounds like my nephew, Drew. Nothing stops them!
Hooray for tiny 3 year olds! My almost 4 year old weighs in at 27 lbs and is having the same issue at school. Kids treat her like an exotic Polly Pocket and the parents, well let’s just say they need to do some editing before opening their mouths. Jane is a spit-fire awesome kid but from the comments I get, you would think she is a circus freak. Especially in LA you would think the tiny kid would be the envy on the play ground… but I guess now all the cool kids are into botox.
I have the opposite problem, boys 23 months apart who look like twins. They younger outweighs the older by almost 10 pounds and is nearly 2 inches taller. My 7 year old has been followed by a Children’s Hospital Endo since he was 3- with numerous blood draws, 2 hand x-rays and a brain MRI. The MRI did show an unusually small pituitary gland so we did start HGH about 6 months ago. It is NOT fun but the growth is there. Prior to the med he grew less than an inch in 18 months and he grew just over an inch in the first 4 months. Happy to give more info if you want it, it is a BIG decision.