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The Truth About My Pants

I spend an inordinate amount of time in yoga pants. Not because I ever actually do yoga but because my ass has outgrown all of my jeans. Rather than deal head on with the sad state of my muffin top, I prefer to just buy black Old Navy yoga pants in bulk and pray that the look is somehow fooling people into believing that I look the same as I did ten pounds ago. I’m hoping people assume that I have plenty of pairs of jeans that I could wear if I chose to but that I wear yoga pants because I’m on my way to the gym!

The main downside of wearing exercise pants exclusively is that it’s very difficult to look “put together.” I can’t exactly dress them up with earrings or a necklace and really what shoes are you going to wear besides flip flops? So now I’m in yoga pants and flip flops or my New Balance running shoes which still look brand new because they are not used for running, and it seems awkward to have a face full of make-up. If I have no make-up on then what good does it do anyone for me to make an effort with my hair? And if I’m not going to blow dry my hair then it hardly seems like a worthwhile endeavor to shower. When I do shower it’s often at night and then I sleep on my hair which let’s just say does not make for a good look come 7 am.

And this is how I’ve come to resemble a borderline vagrant three quarters of the time. It’s sad that I’ve gotten almost used to not looking presentable. The other day I had a little gig for Headline News and I was forced to shower and put on camera make-up and a cute top. Of course I still sported my Target fake Ugg boots since I wasn’t going to be seen from the waist down. When I picked the twins up from school, the teachers freaked out at the sight of me looking the way other moms look on a normal day.

“Wow, you look so fancy!” “Oh my God! Where are YOU going?” “You look…so nice!” These are just a few of the comments I received which made me realize how far down the “no effort” rabbit hole I’ve fallen. Sometimes I wish I had a job outside of my house so that I was forced to interact with people besides other parents at drop off and the people who run the classes at “My Gym.” But then I think, if I can barely take a shower now, how the hell would I pull it all together every single day? So, I pose this question to you moms who go to work on a regular basis, “How do you look nice? And is there any hope for me to get my shit together?”

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 27, 2011 7:10 pmUncategorized45 comments  

45 Comments

  1. Beckalina said,

    This made me laugh out loud! I also work from a home office…some days I have client meetings and on those days when I show up at dropoff/pickup showered, hair and makeup done, wearing something other than track pants and Uggs (it’s freezing here – otherwise it would be flip flops) I get the same reaction from the daycare staff and other parents!

    | January 27, 2011 @ 7:19 pm

    • Stefanie Wilder Taylor said,

      I’m so glad I’m not alone in this! I cringed when I hit publish so this is actually good news to me.

      | January 27, 2011 @ 7:22 pm

  2. Kara said,

    I’m not going to say I’m a fashion icon or anything, but I do have some tips. First, I don’t wear much makeup, but I always have at least mascara and lip gloss. Second, I have super-short hair, so styling it takes a few seconds. I limit jeans to Fridays and weekends. I have a ton of costume jewelry and scarves, and I wear at least one piece every day. I feel like if my hair’s done, makeup’s on, and I’m accessorized, that’s about as good as it’s going to get.
    Kara´s last blog post ..Moffles

    | January 27, 2011 @ 7:24 pm

  3. kelly said,

    oh my god! i feel the same way! i wear my winter crocs now (chicago snow ) and i pretend that they are as cute as real shoes!
    if i ever got pulled over after taking the kids to school, i would die because chances are, there is no bra and i am still in my ratty sleep shirt. winter coats cover up a lot!

    short hair does help, its easy to throw in some mousse and scrunch it up and pretend you wanted it to look like that.

    you are not alone!!

    | January 27, 2011 @ 7:30 pm

  4. Lisa said,

    Oh, snap. Me too. Except I haven’t put on a face full of makeup since Christmas. I don’t even have form-fitting yoga pants; I’m still wearing the same sweatpants I bought last year when I was 30 lbs heavier after having a baby. I am, in short, a hot mess. Although I try to shower on a daily basis.

    | January 27, 2011 @ 7:32 pm

  5. rebecca said,

    I think it’s the whole you do what you gotta do theory.
    rebecca´s last blog post ..The News Will Appear Soon

    | January 27, 2011 @ 7:51 pm

  6. rebecca said,

    ……oh yeah and in the parent pick up and drop off lines at my daughters kindergarten and my sons preschool? I don’t even need to get out of the car. I have my mittens on my hands, hat on my head, heavy coat on my body and big sunglasses on my eyes. They have no idea what I look like. Thank God!
    rebecca´s last blog post ..The News Will Appear Soon

    | January 27, 2011 @ 7:55 pm

    • Stefanie Wilder Taylor said,

      I’m waiting for those magical “line up for drop off” times but I’m afraid it will only be a license to look even worse.

      | January 27, 2011 @ 8:02 pm

      • rebecca said,

        But it does not matter because you are in the car and nobody sees you. They take the kids out of the car and walk them to the classroom and then at the end of the day, they walk the kid out to the car and buckle them in. It’s nice. Really nice.
        rebecca´s last blog post ..A Video Just Because

        | January 29, 2011 @ 10:46 pm

  7. theresa said,

    i used to work at an office but now do a full-time telecommute. it was EXHAUSTING having to get up and shower every morning. after having the kid, i stopped wearing makeup every day and i usually wore the same pair of khakis and flats. now that i work from home, there’s basically no hope for me. i do try to at least shower before i pick up the little one from school, though.

    anyway, the one piece of not-so-helpful advice i have is this:

    jeggings. also, i hate how people constantly shit on pajama jeans as not being real pants. i don’t own a pair, but i covet. man, do i covet…
    theresa´s last blog post ..MFA- A Eulogy

    | January 27, 2011 @ 8:24 pm

  8. Kelly said,

    When my oldest was in Kindergarten, I used to get ready for work, half before I took her, then the other half after I took her.

    Then I got pulled over for a ticket on the way to school… in panty hose, skirt, heels, and pj top and hair half curled. I promised myself to never do it again.
    Kelly´s last blog post ..A Story

    | January 27, 2011 @ 8:26 pm

  9. Michelle said,

    I work, sometimes in an office, mostly from home, but I always make some effort. It’s just as easy to get dressed in nice clothes as yoga pants! I have the “ex-boyfriend rule.” As long as I would be okay running into an ex-boyfriend wearing it, then it’s fine to wear out of the house.

    I go running each morning before the rest of the family gets up. Try this – or even just walking – or even jumping rope for ten minutes or doing 50 pushups. Because if you sweat then you HAVE to take a shower and if you take a shower you might as well spiff it up a bit and put on nice clothes, shoes, a bit of makeup. The snowball of non-schlump. It works! If I wait until later in the day to workout then it all gets shot to hell.

    | January 27, 2011 @ 8:30 pm

  10. Lisa said,

    I’m reading this, sitting in my office counting down to 4pm quitting time. Still in my Uggs (which I swore I would change out of at my desk this morning), black skinny pointe pants (as close to yoga pants as allowed in the office) and a sweater dress. And yes, my barely made up face is sporting a ponytail.

    I can’t imagine what would become of me if I didn’t have to be somewhat presentable every morning.

    I don’t feel bad though – I haven’t had a raise in 4 years (gotta love the public sector) and yesterday I realized midway through my annual review that my boss apparently forgot to put on deodorant. If he can get away with that (without two kids to get out the door every morning) why should I care about changing out of my slippers :)

    | January 27, 2011 @ 8:39 pm

  11. Vanessa said,

    I commute one hour each way to work and back, and work in a corporate environment with executives. I also have a two year old. So, this means that I fit in showers NOT in the morning, but instead at the gym at lunch or before bed. I do my makeup in the car on the way to work. I always wear a lot of jewelry and high heels to offset any “mom-ness.” It’s not easy but people sometimes tell me I look put together so it is worth the effort!
    Vanessa´s last blog post ..Anthropologie wedding line

    | January 27, 2011 @ 8:42 pm

  12. Friendiversary said,

    Yeah, I’m a big fan of yoga pants too, plus I recently discovered Yoga sandals. I’m not that into yoga per se, but all the clothes sure are comfy.
    Friendiversary´s last blog post ..Short Commute- Social Connections- and Financial Security Equate to Happiness

    | January 27, 2011 @ 9:23 pm

  13. Tara said,

    I mostly work from home as well, so no one sees the effort I put into my appearance (minimal). I wear jeans every single day with a t-shirt and sweater. Always slippers.

    Lately, I’ve been wearing eye shadow and mascara, but mostly I wonder why I’m bothering!Although now, if I take a day off my daughters tell me I look really tired…so now I feel kind of stuck.
    Tara´s last blog post ..Fear and Writingin Las Vegas

    | January 27, 2011 @ 9:37 pm

  14. Sarah said,

    I work in an office, and the only thing I enjoy about it is the fact that I am not wearing my “uniform” (pajama pants and a t-shirt). I need to look presentable when dealing with students. Unfortunately, to look nice, I have to get up at 5:30 a.m. Which sucks.
    Sarah´s last blog post ..The hardest thing is saying goodbye

    | January 27, 2011 @ 9:38 pm

  15. Dawn said,

    I laughed at this. Except I just wear sweat pants, not quite as nice as yoga pants! I clean houses during the day so there is no point in getting gussied up for that! And then I’m home for the evening doing the nightly kid routines. Rarely a chance I get to “dress up”. Sometimes I miss my office job and getting prettied up and being around people. Then I think again and I kind of like my flexible, relaxed schedule I have now. Dress up the yoga pants outfit with a little casual jewelry and some lip gloss. Maybe that will make you feel better? Thanks for sharing!

    | January 27, 2011 @ 10:20 pm

  16. Maggie said,

    Dry Shampoo (lots of brands out there), tinted moisturizer, mascara, lip gloss. Also FULL length yoga-style pants (much fancier) – you can wear them with flats and stuff, and then jewelry not quite so out-of-place looking.

    Um, I work out of the house and I still wear my yoga pants to work, so… yeah. Probably shouldn’t take my advice.

    | January 27, 2011 @ 11:14 pm

  17. Milan said,

    Try yoga skirts! I live in Old Navy yoga skirts, they hide the butt and muffin top and can be dressed up a bit with a nicer t-shirt, lol. I do my makeup everyday, it just makes me feel better and only takes 10 mins. That way I look like I’ve tried and maybe I’m just running to the store or gym quick so I changed. The messy bun is great too, minimal effort, but people can assume you just wanted it to look messy.

    | January 27, 2011 @ 11:14 pm

    • Stefanie Wilder Taylor said,

      I have a couple of those skirts. The thin ones right? Those are pretty handy! I feel downright formal in them! Thanks for the reminder.

      | January 28, 2011 @ 2:10 am

  18. m said,

    I “dress up” every day. But my pants desperately need to be dry cleaned- I just iron them and spot clean (sometimes). If you look close enough my shirts have make up around the collar (gross). My shoes are scuffed. My hair is pulled back. No accessories- who has time? My make-up though- my make-up looks good.

    I think make-up is the way to go.

    | January 28, 2011 @ 12:23 am

  19. Lisa said,

    Oh God, don’t ask me. I have what I call the “Jewish curse”. Wild curly/wavy (frizzy?) hair that does not look good air dried. I envy the mom who can wash and go.
    Lisa´s last blog post ..Sophie and The Hat

    | January 28, 2011 @ 12:58 am

  20. EmilyInCocktailLand said,

    1) leggings. Tar-jay has a wide variety…plain black, thermal gray, etc. Pair with a sweater dress, long shirt (um, I still wear my maternity shirts…they are long and allow for a little discrete muffin action), long sweater (not oversized…do NOT go 80’s), a simple cotton dress with a long sleeve shirt underneath, sweater jacket…the options are endless really. JUST DON’T SHOW YOUR CAMEL-TOE! Ew.

    2) scarves. They can transform anything into cute.

    3) pair the leggings and scarf with simple boots.

    I always feel youthful and fresh in my leggings/sweater/boots/scarf combo’s…and the bonus- its super comfy!!

    | January 28, 2011 @ 3:31 am

  21. Stefanie said,

    That sounds like good advice! I mean, it would entail a lot of shopping and my ass doesn’t look good in leggings but I’m going to give it a try.

    | January 28, 2011 @ 3:55 am

  22. Margaret said,

    So, I love my Uggs, and when the temp is below freezing I don’t care what people think about them. BUT the key to looking presentable every day is to pare down the look and not let yourself give it. I don’t let yoga pants in the house. Sure, i wear my pjs at home most of the time, but I don’t let myself out the door without wearing jeans. And dark jeans (with stretch!) and a shirt takes just as much time to put on in the morning, but look a ton better. As for hair, my hair is cut so that I don’t even have to dry it, and I only wear one swipe of long-last lipstick a day with a little mascara. On the crazy days I swipe on concealer and curl my eyelashes, but I think the key is to the pick the feature that has the biggest impact and leave it at that.

    | January 28, 2011 @ 4:50 am

    • Margaret said,

      That was meant to say, “never let yourself give in”

      | January 28, 2011 @ 4:51 am

      • Jennifer said,

        iM ONLY READING YOUR SHIT TODAY AND NOW IM BACK TRACKING.HA TALK ABOUT TRYING TO CLIMB OUTTA THE RABBIT HOLE WITHPOUT ALCOHOL……….LOL!

        | January 28, 2011 @ 2:51 pm

  23. Backpacking Dad said,

    I have some kind of broken, jellied cookie smashed into the knee of my jeans. Right now, I’m wearing them right now. I’m still wearing them. I’ll probably wear them tomorrow.

    And my favourite shirt is from Foot Locker.
    Backpacking Dad´s last blog post ..Nighttime YouTube

    | January 28, 2011 @ 6:05 am

  24. Zoeyjane said,

    I rotate the same three pairs of jeans and avoid my yoga pants because they’re capris and then I would have to shave my legs. I’ve also wistfully thought of a career outside of the hope, only to shortly thereafter have my brain explode, trying to think of when I’d have time to wash my jeans AND my work clothes. It;s just not possible.
    Zoeyjane´s last blog post ..Coming out

    | January 28, 2011 @ 10:07 am

  25. Amy said,

    First of all, there is nothing wrong with yoga pants. Nothing at all. And as for pulling off the whole work-outside-the-home thing, there is a reason I work as a nurse: SCRUBS. Basically glorified pajamas. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Start small…shower in the morning and dry your hair. You will feel like a million bucks. Take the next five years to work back in to jeans on a daily basis…baby steps, right?
    Amy´s last blog post ..Too much of a good thing

    | January 28, 2011 @ 1:57 pm

  26. Pamela Gold said,

    I work for an electrical contractor where it’s completely acceptable to wear yoga pants. I say fuck it and throw on my flip flops as I head out the door. I do my hair three times a week and by do, I mean I wash it. Depending on my mood I either really do my make up or I just look eh. What it comes down to is I’m a lazy bitch. On the weekend? I’m lucky if I shower at all. I have three kids. It’s my excuse forever, even when I kick ’em out when they each turn 18.
    Pamela Gold´s last blog post ..When its no longer considered postpartum depression

    | January 28, 2011 @ 2:32 pm

  27. Jennifer said,

    May I ever so gently recommend pants with elastic, water, lettuce. Eat like rabbit while starving yourself but feed your kiddos healthy because you will a “good mom” if you can put on a good show! lol Dr. Phil much…………..raised on tv sincce 1976!lol I currently am wearing an OLD NAVY THERMAL FEEZING MY BALLS OFF WITH AN OLD (NEW) SWEATER ON TOP AND PANTS FROM jCpENNIIES YOU BET BET UR ASS IM STRETCHING THE ELASTIC THIS AM! i NEED TO GET A JOB THIS CRAZY IS FREE TODAY!

    | January 28, 2011 @ 2:50 pm

  28. Lynne said,

    I work from home. Roll out of the rack at 6:45, wash face, brush teeth pour coffee and am at my desk by 7:00. Once a week I leave the house for bowling night. My kid comes through the door, sees me with makeup on and cries. “Mommy, you have makeup on. It’s bowling night. You’re leaving me? Waaaah!”

    | January 28, 2011 @ 4:05 pm

  29. Sheila said,

    Here’s the thing — which actually works for me…

    my 8 and 10 year REFUSE to let me walk them to schoool due to my morning attire. I explain that I’m an athlete (NOT) and that’s why I’m always in yoga pants. They said, “oh come on — you are so not and athlete –you’re just embarrassing.” They also refuse to be seen with me when I’m wearing my super cute beanie to hide my greasy hair. And forget about it when I try to hide my pj top under my jacket.
    Sheila´s last blog post ..You’re Oprah’s Half-Sister

    | January 30, 2011 @ 7:01 pm

  30. Boys Outlet Blog said,

    Black Yoga Style Pajama Pants…

    […] ver got pulled over after taking the kids to school, i would die because chances […]…

    | January 31, 2011 @ 12:55 pm

  31. Trish said,

    When my twins were two (they are 11 now) I got a new neighbor from TX. No kids with lots of time on her hands. I always wore sweats and they usually had spit up or drool or food or something on them. One day I saw her on her patio all duded up, big hair, full make-up, high heels, etc. I asked her “where are YOU going” and she told me, “the grocery store, of course”. GRRRRRRRR. She has a kid now but she still looks like a glamour girl, only in leisure wear. One additional note: I didn’t wear white for 10 years…

    | January 31, 2011 @ 2:40 pm

  32. Jodi said,

    So here is the solution: You get the workout pants, in black (of course). But you get the kind that are skinny at the ankle– that way you can throw on:
    a) a well fitted blazer
    b) non-sneakers

    And voila! “Put together.”

    Thanks for another great post!

    Jodi

    | February 1, 2011 @ 2:27 am

  33. Astrid said,

    I totally connected with this post! I work a full time job and have 4 kids. My job requires me to sit in a cube all day in front of a computer. Every once in a while, I interact with the “outside” world via video conference. As long as I have on a decent top, I’m good to go. I wear jeans and running shoes every day. Who time for all that sh**! I barely have time to brush my teeth in the morning let alone do my hair. Washing it the night before and letting it dry on a pillow over night while I sleep, gives a hint of bounce.
    Astrid´s last blog post ..Waffle Fries

    | February 1, 2011 @ 12:32 pm

  34. Jae said,

    Uh yeah, I just do what you do. I live in Yoga pants and t-shirts. Nice thing about San Antonio is that you can live like this daily and not look homeless. 😉 If I want to dress it up, I put on my thick soled flips and a cute T instead of a sloppy one. 😉
    Jae´s last blog post ..Out of my Mind

    | February 1, 2011 @ 2:31 pm

  35. Julianne said,

    Levi’s have that new fit that is ‘customized’ to your body shape – you have the saleschild measure you and then you know what fit and waist size makes sense. Dreamy! They are my version of yoga pants…and the cost per wear is fractions of a cent, given how often I’m in jeans. Plus you can “dress them up” by not pairing with a stained tank top.

    | February 1, 2011 @ 9:40 pm

  36. Sleepshirt | sleep shirt said,

    Most girls want to look sexy all the time. It’s almost like a race to the summit. You should have seen girls buy sexy gowns and shirts to attract your beloved partner. You must have heard a lot of gowns. They have really grown into more and more popularity these days. The main reason behind this is to modernize the world and the application of Western culture in the market. Many competing brands are the manufacture of such products. You have to consider a sleep shirt for yourself if you are a married woman.

    | February 2, 2011 @ 6:59 am

  37. Melissa said,

    I LOVE the Old Navy yoga pants. I own about 7 pair (all dark shades) and I lurk on their website for when they go on sale.

    | February 2, 2011 @ 1:45 pm

  38. Sheila said,

    https://www.pajamajeans.com/flare/next
    Sheila´s last blog post ..Places I like to celebrate Super bowl Sunday

    | February 7, 2011 @ 3:37 pm

  39. Tom @ hello kitty costumes said,

    You still look gorgeous in a simple way. It is
    how you bring yourself in wearing a simple in
    what you usually wear..nice post!

    | February 9, 2011 @ 9:16 pm

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