So my husband may possibly be pissed off at me because due to an extremely frazzled nerves situation I may have voiced out loud my suspicion that Sadie may be a robot with no real feelings who is trying to systematically wear me down and take over this household, switching everything over to her specifications. The kid doesn’t want to sleep, eat or enjoy life unless she is completely calling the shots. When things don’t go her way she either screams at the top of her lungs or even worse: she snuggles up, lays her head on my shoulder and says, “I love you, mama,” until I give in and then she promptly hops off my lap and does a victory dance not to return until there’s something else she wants. Jon believes that I am being unfair and letting my stress cloud my judgment and he’s maybe a teeny bit worried that I might start playing favorites toward the other two children who are not quite possibly trying to kill me. I have no idea where he gets that idea.
I gave Jon my reasons for suspecting her as a robot and he tried to say she’s just “willful.” Oh and then he also said that maybe Sadie is sort of like a cat -and I think he meant that in a good way even though we’re not cat people -I think he meant it in the way that people who are cat people describe their cats. Personally, I think Jon is naïve and will be the last to know when Sadie and the rest of her kind have taken over our planet leaving us as alien servants who must supply milk, juice, Happy Meal toys (NOT THE FOOD JUST THE TOY!), endless episodes of Dora and princess dresses whenever they demand. Jon is going to be like the guy who falls in love with the pretty alien on V until one day she rips her face off revealing her true terrifying identity and I won’t be able to save him because I’ll be dead already for daring to voice my suspicions! Jon will be horrified when he realizes that my “accident” was no accident and that he is the next victim. Holy shit! I just Wiki’d “V” and it describes the “visitors” as a technologically advanced alien species which ostensibly comes in peace, but actually has sinister motives. Sadie! You are so busted!
Listen, you may all think I’ve lost my mind and maybe I have but you’ll have to forgive me because I have had NO SLEEP, my sustenance is down to picking at a piece of El Pollo Loco chicken left over from yesterday afternoon and a corn tortilla. I don’t even like corn tortillas. I like flour tortillas. And I’m so overwrought I could seriously cry over this whole corn instead of flour tortilla fiasco. It’s that bad.
The twins are potty training and is it me or do babies get all crazy when they hit a new developmental milestone? Do they all lose interest in sleeping, eating and generally having a mellow moment? Because I know you’re not supposed to go backward (I long to stick them back in a pull-up –and they are actually doing really well at it –but me no likey the new personalities that are emerging. HELP. It’s times like these that I miss and romanticize Xanax like an old lover. Xanax, can we get back together? I didn’t mean all the nasty things I said about you on my blog.
Okay, I know that this phase will pass -it has to. I just hope I live to tell tales from the other side of it.