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My Big Fat Mouth

I have a bad habit of being way too honest. Well, I like to call it honesty, some may call it having no filter. At times this has been a good thing: writing about the trainwreck that was my attempt at breastfeeding had to have helped other women feel less alone. But did I have to tell every stranger who would listen to me for more than ten seconds about my flat nipple situation or that I had a breast reduction when I was twenty and it severely compromised my milk ducts? Maybe not. It seemed like good information to share at the time but perhaps I was being defensive or perhaps I just reeeaally like to (over)share. I mean, did you need to know that yesterday I ate an entire bag containing six huge naturally sweetened Peanut Butter Apricot cookies? I’m only eating healthy food you see. And when you eat healthy food it’s okay to eat said foods in extremely large quantities. Did you know that? Maybe you didn’t know so hopefully that should better explain why I opened a second bag of them this morning and ate two more. Perhaps knowing that I started my period this morning would help explain my eating so you don’t judge too harshly. Wait, did I mention that I may be perimenopausal and my periods have been sort of irregular so I didn’t even know I was going to get my period so suddenly? Hold on. You didn’t need to know that? Oh, okay.

I’m still learning what is appropriate sharing and what is too much. Especially when it comes to all this drinking nonsense. So I go on TV and tell the world that I quit drinking and then there’s this ripple effect where a bunch of people email me to say that they may possibly want to stop drinking too and then I feel like all this drinkin’ talk is a good thing. And then every once in awhile someone brings to my attention that I may be overdoing it. I call those people WASPS. My husband’s parents don’t allow socks at the dinner table so you can imagine how appropriate they think talking about hangovers on TV is. Actually, they may be fine with it. But when I’m doing the imagining, I imagine they’re not. We Jews on the other hand, love to let it all hang out. Have you seen Real Housewives of New York? Jill spills her guts all over the place while Luanne looks like she would hold a fart in for three days. She is a Countess though so there are probably separate rules.

Maybe if I buy Luanne’s book about manners I can work out this bad habit of mine and find a way to keep more things underwraps but until then, I’m just going to keep saying whatever crazy shit comes to mind.

Tomorrow (Friday) I’m going to be on an hour of ABC’s 20/20 talking about women and alcoholism. If you click on that link there’s a bunch more stuff about it on their website.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 29, 2010 8:20 pmUncategorized31 comments  

31 Comments

  1. seekingclarav said,

    I, too, suffer from a bit of diarrhea of the mouth (lovely image I know. You’re welcome). But you actually help people by spilling your guts so I say keep on talkin!
    .-= seekingclarav´s last blog ..Lazy one twenty =-.

    | April 29, 2010 @ 8:38 pm

  2. robin said,

    No socks at the dinner table? Hmmm, I wonder how kids coming to dinner in bathing suits or costumes would go over with them. Shoot, or adults for that matter. :)
    .-= robin´s last blog ..Parallels =-.

    | April 29, 2010 @ 9:37 pm

  3. rebecca said,

    My daughter was just over sharing today. She will be five in about a month. I was thinking that one day, she’ll have a blog that is waaaaayyy better than mine, and probably as popular and great as yours or Aunt Becky’s or any of the other fabulous blogs that I follow……But today, she over shared at the department of conservation meeting. I was pretty red, but at least she’s not afraid of talking in front of her peers and their parents.
    .-= rebecca´s last blog ..One Hundred Miles =-.

    | April 29, 2010 @ 9:51 pm

  4. Mary said,

    HAHAHAHahahahahaha that was some funny bizness lady! But really how ARE we supposed to know we are actually kind of normal if we don’t talk about flat nipples and such???? Good luck on the show!!!

    | April 29, 2010 @ 9:55 pm

  5. charla said,

    freaking love you. i have the same…er…condition….

    | April 29, 2010 @ 10:07 pm

  6. inannasstar said,

    I am one of the most un-P.C. big mouthed assholes I’ve ever met. There are times when I love this “quirk” then times when I’ve inadvertently made fun of something only to find out the person I’m speaking to has a grandmother named “Mildred”. Oy.
    .-= inannasstar´s last blog ..Thankful Thursdays – Simple Things =-.

    | April 29, 2010 @ 10:51 pm

  7. cyd said,

    Missed you this week! I have the same condition. The world would be a better place if everyone shared a little more! Can’t wait to see you on 20/20.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 12:00 am

  8. deb said,

    blogging kinda counters the old adage of never tell others about your personal business. i appreciate all you’ve written about your struggle, but honestly, you’re an incredibly funny lady. there’s more to your life than alcohol. don’t be defined by one bump along the road. write, make us laugh, share all your stories. it’s wonderful.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 12:43 am

  9. Aunt Becky said,

    Perhaps I am Jewish, after all. Suddenly, I’m kind of wondering. Because wow. Actually, I’m pretty sure I am.

    Would you like to hear about MY nipples now? I will TOTALLY share.
    .-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Aunt Becky, The Lost Years =-.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 12:48 am

  10. Mommy on the Spot said,

    Totally get your Jill/Luanne analogy. I tend to be a bit more Jill than Luanne, too.
    .-= Mommy on the Spot´s last blog ..If Monday is the new Sunday, then Tuesday is the new Monday =-.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 2:58 am

  11. Neil said,

    Jews do talk a lot. I think that’s why I like twitter.
    .-= Neil´s last blog ..It’s a Wrap =-.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 3:00 am

  12. LP said,

    I think it is perfectly fine to share whatever you want on your blog because it is your blog but the issue you describe is one of not having boundaries, not of being too honest. There is a clear difference of using self-control with self-disclosure and knowing when and where it is acceptable to share one’s inner thoughts and feelings. I hope you are teaching your daughters that is is not okay to share everything that pops into their mind with everyone.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 3:17 am

  13. Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said,

    I think EVERY blogger can relate to this “condition.” Sometimes I desperately wish for my old anonymous blog, but then, what would I have to worry about at family functions?
    .-= Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist´s last blog ..Back in NYC and more author support =-.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 4:53 am

  14. Kir said,

    I just adore you..and I too have this condition for sure. I love to talk..about everything, to anyone. So glad I am NOT alone.

    HAPPY FRIDAY !!!!!!

    | April 30, 2010 @ 11:49 am

  15. muskrat said,

    I think it’s okay to overshare on a blog. Isn’t that what blogging is for? Hell, there was a session on it at BlogHer last year (and this year)!
    .-= muskrat´s last blog ..music and the art of behavior manipulation =-.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 3:48 pm

  16. Carolyn said,

    No socks at the dinner table? At first I thought you were joking that they are ultra casual and bare feet are the norm. But that doesn’t really make sense. Neither does dress shoes for dinner, especially since men always wear socks, even when their dressed to the nines. So what on earth do they require you to wear? And is it every night, guests or not? I am really intrigued by this oddity.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 4:32 pm

  17. MereCat said,

    I already watched the online features from 20/20 that will be airing tonight. I have a dinner I have to go to tonight (no drinking for me!) so I won’t see the whole thing. And no, we do not have a DVR because our house is located somewhere between 1964 and 1971.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 5:34 pm

  18. Michelle said,

    I really want to applaud not only your candor but your effort too on shedding the light on this growing problem.

    While I never had an alcohol problem when I was raising my two children, I now have a prescription drug abuse problem due to chronic illness. So far, I have not been able to find any answers to my particular problem.

    | April 30, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

  19. ann coates said,

    Well your post made me tune into 20/20 so I guess it did it’s job. I’m glad women are getting help if they are drinking too much, but otherwise the show was underwhelming. Mom’s need support for doing the hardest job in the world, not more criticism and pressure to be perfect.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 2:49 am

  20. Melissa said,

    Great show, Stef! ABut I wish you’d be on these tv spots for longer than 5 minutes! You have so much good stuff to offer. I am on almost 4 months sober thanks to your “coming out” so maybe that big mouth does more good than harm!

    | May 1, 2010 @ 2:56 am

  21. Melissa said,

    I just wanted to say that I just saw you on 20/20 and thought you were wonderful!
    .-= Melissa´s last blog ..clutziness =-.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 2:59 am

  22. Emily said,

    I just saw you on 20/20 and was intrigued with the stories on there. I have an aunt I’m praying will seek recovery soon. I love her so much and hate to see her like this. I really admire you for getting help.

    Good luck on your recovery journey!

    | May 1, 2010 @ 3:05 am

  23. lee said,

    Thanks Stephanie

    Only way to keep it is to give it away.

    Just saw the 20/20 show and want to say your an inspiration to plenty. And Melissa is right you seem to have a lot to offer.

    And your husband seems like great understanding support, he should be applauded as well.

    Lee

    | May 1, 2010 @ 3:16 am

  24. Jae said,

    You’re amazing. An inspiration! The balls you must have girl, under those stylin’ clothes!! 😉 😉 I couldn’t do it – get on a TV show and talk about my sobriety, or my drinking. You rock! Thank you for speaking out. Thank you for carrying the word to alcoholics in need.
    .-= Jae´s last blog ..Dear Five Year Old =-.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 4:45 am

  25. Wendy Hagen said,

    A lot of moms joke about drinking. How many really have a problem? When one comes clean, others will follow. Good for you! Watching 20/20 right now.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 5:44 am

  26. heather said,

    Nice job on the show. Loving the bangs!

    | May 1, 2010 @ 6:20 am

  27. Ellie said,

    You are simply gorgeous – inside and out.

    You did an AMAZING job on 20/20 last night. Truly an inspiration – you helped a lot of people.

    I loved, especially, when you said that the secret will keep you sick. SO TRUE. So many women suffer in silence – you are showing them that they aren’t alone. THANK YOU.

    You are gorgeous, girlfriend – inside and out!

    -Ellie
    .-= Ellie´s last blog ..The Other Side of the Story – A Tandem Post, The Conclusion =-.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

  28. Ellie said,

    Did I mention you’re gorgeous? LOL! I didn’t realize I said that twice.

    How stalkerish of me.

    :)
    .-= Ellie´s last blog ..The Other Side of the Story – A Tandem Post, The Conclusion =-.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

  29. Kari @ AGAM said,

    I am very much looking forward to reading the rest of your blog and also your books – I just got done watching the 20/20 episode as I had to tape it and watch it when no one else was around. I knew the waterworks would begin and I needed to be somewhere safe so that no one would ask why.

    I am not a drinker. My vice is pain killers. As soon as I saw the trailers for the 20/20 episode, I knew I needed to watch. I am now struggling with the “this isn’t me/this is me” argument in my head. Mainly because the symptoms are different. You won’t find me falling down or passed out – I have been taking them for so long all they do is help me “get through” the day. Is that a problem… of course. I do however, still need them to combat the pain I have from 2 failed cervical fusions. The problem is, I also use them for the headache (which is surely withdrawals) or the stress of raising 3 kids (one of which is a teenager – enuf said), or the miscarriage/hysterectomy that I have yet to deal with (over a year ago).

    So – I am hoping that as a fellow blogger, your site will resonate more with me and I do best with humor in any event. I mean, I laugh at my reflection each day… it is either that or cry. :)
    .-= Kari @ AGAM´s last blog ..The Real Housewives of New Jersey Giveaway =-.

    | May 1, 2010 @ 11:30 pm

  30. Shannon said,

    I saw the 20/20 special and it was not over share. Keep at it :)
    .-= Shannon´s last blog ..Chord Progressions =-.

    | May 3, 2010 @ 9:12 pm

  31. Kate said,

    I thought you were funny before sobriety. You have not lost your touch one bit. Yay! Keep sharing.

    | May 3, 2010 @ 9:34 pm

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