ABOUT DON\'T GET DRUNK FRIDAY PRIVACY POLICY WATCH! ARCHIVES CONTACT SUBSCRIBE

Another Foe

I can’t stop eating. Well, I can – you know to breathe and sleep and run errands and…okay, so I can stop eating. But it’s really hard. The worst for me is sweets. When I start I just can’t stop.  Before I got pregnant with Elby I was sugar-free for almost two years; two happy and free years. But early on in my pregnancy, I couldn’t stop thinking about candy -specifically banana Laffy Taffy. At the time I worked in an office where there was an unlimited supply of old skool candy and it was all I could do to keep away from it. Every night I went to bed and every morning I woke up sweaty from dreams of  Hot Tamales, Lemonheads and Tootsie Rolls. Eventually I caved and went to town on the candy stash. I was ruthless. I’d grab handfuls and tear into them like a savage not letting anyone else eat them. “Get your own,” I’d practically yell, “I’m pregnant over here!”

No one could believe that I ate that way because I was very thin -like, I just got married thin -and so I got a lot of bemused looks and friendly teasing because I guess it’s sort of cute to see a thin, pregnant woman eat like a pig. But inside I felt bad because although it didn’t show on the outside, on the inside I was out of control.  I gained 60 pounds by the time I had Elby and only 7 pounds 2 oz. was baby. Eventually I lost the weight by working out and getting back off the sugar but it took a year and a half. Lately, because of the lack of booze in my life, the sugar has been making a strong come-back.

This problem started long ago. When I was five I distinctly remember being obsessed with the Halloween candy my parents had purchased for the upcoming holiday and stored up on a top shelf in our pantry. One night I climbed up, brought the bag down and knowing what I was doing was wrong yet unable to stop myself, I tore it open and scarfed it down like I hadn’t eaten in weeks.  My mother discovered what I’d done shortly after and she was furious. I distinctly remember feeling burning shame and yet, I did similar things again and again. My mother thought I lacked self control.

As I got older things did not get better. My parents always kept ice cream in the house and every night after dinner I was allowed a half a coffee cup full, a very appropriate sized serving for a child, a serving that I as an adult would feel is more than enough to give my daughter after a healthy meal. But it was not enough for me. I would hear the ice cream calling to me from the freezer after my parents had gone upstairs. Try as I might to ignore it and knowing full well how angry my mother would be if she found me out, I’d sneak into that box of neopolitan and eat an even amount of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry hoping that keeping the three layers even would disguise what I’d done. I was called selfish, piggy and untrustworthy for eating it but I couldn’t help myself.

By the time I was thirteen, food had become a good friend, a buffer to the world. While the rest of the junior high school population giggled on the phone and hung out at the mall, I hung out in the family rec room with slices of dried salami and column after column of Ritz crackers eating myself numb. When I was sixteen I discovered throwing up which enabled me to wear my lack of control on the inside, something I believed to be a major coup at the time.   As anyone who’s been bulimic knows, the behavior is highly addictive. There came a point in my late teens that I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried. Every day I desperately promised myself never again. Sometimes I made that promise several times in a single day. That’s how strong a hold it had on me. It was like there were two people in my head at all times bickering -one that only wanted relief at any cost and one that knew she was dying inside and would have to put up a strong fight to dig her way out of the deep hole she’d dug.

The relief finally came when I gave up fighting. It was in the surrender. I stopped puking for good at 22 but just like with alcohol, I’m not cured. What I’m realizing is that I’m just a big old addict -an addict who will look for any way to distance myself from myself. I’ve heard secondary addictions referred to as a game of Whack-a-Mole; alcohol gets hit with a mallet and sugar pops up, sugar gets whacked down and suddenly out of nowhere it seems like a great idea to take a Tylenol PM. Do you see how insane that is? Who the hell could get high off of Tylenol PM?

I remember when I’d just started getting help for bulimia and I revealed to my mother I’d had this problem.I cried when I told her, sobbed really. But I was so proud of myself for dealing with it, for being brave enough to sit in rooms and tell strangers I did this shameful thing. My mother’s reaction wasn’t what I’d hoped for. She got angry with me and let me know in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t her fault. At that time I was pissed and I remained pissed for a long time because truthfully I had blamed a lot of my problems on my childhood. But looking back, she was right.

I’m an addict and it’s no one’s fault. When I drink alcohol, I can’t predict where it will lead me. When I eat candy, I can’t predict with any certainty whether or not it will end in a peaceful night watching the Bachelor or whether it will set off an obsession for more which will last for days or weeks.

I’m not making any big proclamations here. I’m just letting the secrets out. I know that eating candy is a lot better than drinking. You can’t get pulled over for driving while under the influence of fattening snack food. But it is damaging to my clarity and I have to acknowlege that.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 17, 2010 11:01 pmDrinking,navel gazing44 comments  

44 Comments

  1. Dad Gone Mad said,

    Stef, I hope you can recognize the amount of strength required to dig this deeply into yourself and analyze what you find so astutely. I for one have never been a bigger fan of yours than I am right now.
    .-= Dad Gone Mad´s last blog ..My First Day of High School =-.

    | February 17, 2010 @ 11:09 pm

  2. Ellie said,

    I’m reading this and nodding my head up and down. I’ve been joking about my little problem with Everlasting Gobstoppers, but I know in my heart it’s all related to the addictive personality thing. I mean, who eats Gobstoppers because they are angry or resentful? It’s like I can’t resist the urge to just reach for SOMETHING. You’re brave to share your struggles – eating disorders and addiction go hand-in-hand a lot of the time.

    I also get that feeling like “enough already! what, do I have to give up everything?!” So taking a look at it, talking about it, are such important things – part of the whole picture, part of the clarity, as you say.

    Thanks, as always, for your awesomeness.

    -Ellie

    | February 18, 2010 @ 12:03 am

  3. @marymac said,

    You had me at Banana Laffy Taffy, because…yum. But seriously…I also have a major sugar addiction and admire your ability to recognize it. Just got done ‘quitting’ Diet Coke which I was addicted to but knew was giving me migraines.. so that one mole is down, and on to whack the next one…
    Amazing post. ;) Love, as always, your honesty.
    .-= @marymac´s last blog ..Hump Day: Erotica Book Review =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 12:20 am

  4. at said,

    I’m married to someone like this. He’s in recovery, things are good, for now. But I finally get what “dry-drunk” means. It means you may not be actually drinking, but if you’re not working SOME kind of program and living in a conscientious manner… you abuse other things in the same way you abused your addiction of choice. And it can be seemingly innocuous. If you switched from alcohol to heroin, okay that’s obvious. But sometimes it’s chewing gum, working out, energy drinks, sweets/sugar. And if you’re not addressing the root of the behavior- you eventually leave yourself open to relapse because you aren’t truly rewiring yourself and one day your old friend alcohol/drug/food/gambling/sex/shopping/whatever will find its chance to slip right back into its old spot because, let’s be honest that energy drink isn’t really going to cut it as a long-term stand in, is it? Anyway, thank YOU for talking, and continuing to talk about this stuff, with your funny accessible voice. Addiction is a multi-faceted problem and so common. Yet it is STAGGERING how little it is discussed or known about in our culture. But I see that changing with things like the show Intervention and well, you and your blog. And Oprah.

    P.S. and Celebrity Rehab, which I LOVE, is still debatable on whether it’s uhm, “effective”, but who gives a fuck I’m watching it after my DVR’ed Housewives.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 12:25 am

  5. Elizabeth Sober said,

    I am so with you on all of this. I had a sugar thing when I was young, then bulimia, then stopped that and was really glad but only later I realized it was very neatly replaced by booze. Now that I’m off the booze, I am WAY back on the sugar. AH, well.

    In Caroline Knapp’s memoir, she says that among women, eating disorders in your teens/20s being replaced by booze in your 20s/30s is super-common. As she describes it, a friend of hers “thought it was progress” at the time, which I TOTALLY did, too.

    And then someone posted on BFB the other day about a study that kids with big sweet tooths may be more likely to become alcoholics. If only I’d known! Well, I’ll be keeping an eagle eye on my kids!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 12:45 am

  6. Taryn said,

    Man, I can relate to this. I’m the same way with baked goods and sugary stuff. I think I was born being able to speak junk food because I swear it calls to me at night. Thanks for sharing this, it’s always good to know the boat I’m on is not empty. Good luck!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 1:11 am

  7. Aunt Becky said,

    Gum? Orchids? Whistling?

    I’m not joking. You know I’m not. I’m as compulsive as you are, which is a damn good thing that I hate both food and booze. So color me your own personal cheering squad. Step away from the sugar. You can do it. If you quit booze, you can quit sugar.
    .-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Because Not Everyone Can Be A Ballerina =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 1:32 am

  8. Corinne said,

    I honestly believe that some of us just have that addictive personality… right now I’m thankful I’m eating twizzlers and not drinking… and that I drank and didn’t do heavy drugs… because I know I would have liked them. And I know it would have been bad. I smoked for years before I got pregnant with my first, and thankfully I haven’t gone back. But I want to. So very badly. I think we all trade our addictions, we just need to find some “good” addictions, and then maybe we’ll figure out how moderation works ;)
    .-= Corinne´s last blog ..Fresh slate flakes =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 1:45 am

  9. Emma said,

    I don’t have the same addictions, but I have a messed up relationship with food along a similar vein, and it’s going to take a while to fix. So I’m working on it. I’ve started getting some help.

    All the best to you.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 1:48 am

  10. Ann said,

    Thanks for sharing this – it’s not just you.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 2:42 am

  11. lonek8 said,

    I’m glad you wrote this. I have many of teh same issues with sugar; every once in a while I can eat a sweet and move on, other times it calls to me to eat and eat and eat until I’m so full of food, of sugar, of self loathing. And it IS and addiction. it IS a serious problem. But if you say “oh, I’m adicted to sugar” people laugh and offer you a cookie. They do not support your decision to stop. They do not understand why you need to stop. “Moderate” they say. “it’s just a matter of self control” they say. but that’s not true, is it?
    I do not have a problem with alcohol. But I read here every Friday, and I appreciate everyone’s journey and struggle and triumphs over their addiction. I’m so glad you ahve given a voice to something else- something that can be just as devastating (privately if not as outwardly destructive), just as disappointing, and just as uncontrollable.

    my name is kate, and I am a sugar addict.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 2:53 am

  12. Lulu said,

    Love your blog as usual. For me it’s not usually sweets but salty stuff. Don’t get between me and a bag of Lays potato chips after I’ve told myself I’d have just one. And if there is french onion dip nearby, run for your life.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:22 am

  13. kiki said,

    i have experienced similar issues and i know this is cheesy, but i really do take one day at a time in regards to all aspects of my life. i have to. thanks for sharing this post. take care.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:40 am

  14. Jessica said,

    I know exactly what you mean about sweets (my fave are Haribo German raspberries and blackberries). I have been off the booze for 7 weeks and actually it has been much easier, so far, than I thought it would be. I had been compensating for the lack of booze by letting myself go wild with candy. I just decided to go off sweets for at least a few months. The first few days were hard, but actually it’s been ok since then. I realize (or admit to myself) more and more that I simply don’t do moderation. I would no more be able to have a few candies (rather than the whole bag) than I would have one or two glasses of wine. Much easier to have none! I think cutting out sugar has helped my migraines too.

    Stefanie – how did you manage to stay sugar free for years at a time?

    I love your blog and really appreciate this space…

    | February 18, 2010 @ 4:24 am

  15. Summer said,

    Oh girl….amen, amen. Right there with you, so preach on.

    I have had similar issues to the eating….only I hate throwing up, so I just eat. The sweets call to me and I just. can’t. stop.

    And the therapy bills continue to come in.

    All the thanks to my mom. =)
    .-= Summer´s last blog ..she’s kind of like having a dog =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 5:04 am

  16. Stone Fox said,

    i have been reading for quite a while, and i wanted to tell you first off that i think you are part-awesome for putting it ALL out there, and part-hilarious because i laugh when i read your posts. a-lot. i really look forward to don’t get drunk fridays (not because i laugh a lot – i have been dealing with the addictions of someone in my life for a while now; reading the first hand stories helps keep me compassionate)

    anyways, reading your post and some of the comments makes me wonder how much of addiction is genetic. not just that we learn it from watching our parents, but that we are born with our genes tipping the scales toward being an easy addict.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 6:16 am

  17. Xara said,

    I so needed to read this right now. I’ve eaten half a Costco cheesecake since uh, yesterday… and now I’ve moved onto a bucket of ice cream because I know my husband won’t notice if that’s gone. I’m ashamed, but I can’t help it. I just need to eat and eat and eat (I have a new baby, that’s my excuse). It’s just so freaking lonely and food is fast becoming my friend. I’m also pretty slim, so you’d never be able to tell (although I don’t puke up afterward, so we’ll see how long I stay slim!)

    I know it’s part of my addictive personality (though fortunately it’s the only addiction I’ve ever had, really)…I do have watch certain things to make sure they don’t become obsessive/compulsive. I remember limiting how many times I could wash my hands in an hour, how many hours of using the exercise bike etc etc, all because those things were becoming issues for me.

    Anyway, thanks for posting and good luck!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 6:40 am

  18. Angie said,

    I wish mine was just candy. I am a food addict and really fighting the urge to just eat. When it is alcohol or drugs you can just stop(with help) but with food you still have to eat so stopping or saying no is just that much more difficult. I feel the pain that is food
    .-= Angie´s last blog ..Fat Tuesday no more =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 2:55 pm

  19. Sami said,

    How smart you are for recognizing you eat sugar to distance yourself. It is an addiction just as much as booze. One gem of understanding heard at a doubleA is this: When the drug pusher is sitting in the passenger seat of the car, it’s too late for the addict to question his behaviour. The trigger time is during the fight with spouse, while the kids is having a tantrum, whenever one is hungry, angry,lonely or tired (HALT).

    The hardest thing we ever have to do is rewire our brains to like who we are (flaws and all) and to rise above our family history and genetic make up.

    Herculean is what we are!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:03 pm

  20. laurie said,

    Steph Not! Bravo- not one off colored word. And you expressed yourself so simply and completely.

    Not that you care -but I’m impressed.

    When I first got sober I could eat a five pound bag of potato chips in one bite. I made a decision that I didn’t care if I gained 20 pounds as long as I stayed sober.

    The ladies in my support group told me that my body and mind would change after one year of sobriety. But that it would take a year and it did! After one year the craving for sugar eased up considerably and even more so after 18 months.

    Be good to yourself!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:05 pm

  21. Shannon said,

    I’m not a drug addict, alcoholic, or anything along those lines, but this blog post stuck with me. As with most women, I’ve struggled with my sense of body image. I admire your strength to analyze yourself, your addiction, and your personality. Also, it’s amazing that you can do so in such a beautiful and funny way. I feel that reading your blog opens my eyes. Thank you.
    .-= Shannon´s last blog ..My name is Shannon and I’m a Crazy Cat Woman =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:23 pm

  22. Emmalane said,

    I can totally relate to a lifelong struggle with food….its nice to read about other ladies going through the same thing. Thanks so much for sharing.
    .-= Emmalane´s last blog ..Letter. =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:41 pm

  23. Maple Leaf said,

    When I was young my grandmother had a bowl of candy that we all delved into a kids. This sugar high was later replaced by the sugar in alcohol with the added benefit of feeling good and buzzed. As with alcohol I have never been satisfied with just one of anything that has any form of sugar. Buy I agree with Laurie that we can’t fight all battles at once and it seems that when the time is right we will figure out a way to resolve this next step. I have just started and while the voices are strong the need to quit is stronger.At least our lives aren’t boring!!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 3:49 pm

  24. Kir said,

    I love your honesty. I am currently doing Weight Watchers and I HATE it..mostly because I hate being told that I have to portion (even KNOWING I should isn’t any better) and I haven’t lost a pound but I haven’t gained either which is making it ok in my head to say “well at least” …I love Tootsie Rolls myself adn have been letting myself eat them to an excess . I know I should lose 20 lbs , just do it, but wow it’s hard. All of this is just hard.

    I admire your ability to just look at and acknowledge it, it makes it easier and harder for me to do the same.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 4:46 pm

  25. Lauren said,

    You are my fucking idol, girl. Just kidding, but the many ways I see myself in you is scary. I did the bulimia and the starving. I was drinking alot (before this pregnancy) and realized while pregnant and can’t drink just how much I relied on the drinking to numb myself. Not sure if I will go back to it once the pregnancy is over. Thanks for keeping it real!

    | February 18, 2010 @ 4:47 pm

  26. Rebecca said,

    What is that AA saying? We are only as sick as our secrets? Your posts inspire me to live a more open life and to let the yuckies on the inside come out and play with the rest of us.
    .-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Writers and Gossip =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 4:49 pm

  27. Amanda said,

    Wow, I cannot believe how much of this I related to. Mostly the addiction to sweets actually, but wow. It is a huge problem, and when weight issues come creeping in a seemingly easy out is sometimes an eating disorder. Thanks for posting this, because it IS a problem, a huge one. For me an addiction to sweets coupled with minor OCD is my downfall
    “I had an odd number of Reese’s, gotta have one more, this one was chewed on my left side so the next one has to be on the right”

    Never ending cycle…

    | February 18, 2010 @ 5:33 pm

  28. Lisa Rae @ smacksy said,

    Your willingness to put it all out there is amazing. You are helping so many people feel like they have someone out there that “gets” them. Big high fives to you – the serious kind where you jump up and hit the five while in mid-air.

    I’ve heard that in addition to the whole self-medicating deal, alcoholics, and potential alcoholics have a predisposition for blood sugar related issues. God cut me a break and gave me Celiac Disease. (Goodbye donuts…)
    .-= Lisa Rae @ smacksy´s last blog ..Change of Schedule =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

  29. Heather of the EO said,

    LOVE the whack a mole thing. So true. Right now I’m on a Mike and Ike kick. It’s bad. As in, sit down and eat a huge movie size box of them in one sitting (in like a half hour) or while driving. Just absently shoveling them in.

    I really wish I could over-indulge in running. I find I’m a terribly lazy indulger.
    .-= Heather of the EO´s last blog ..Kisses and an interview (not at the same time) =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 6:58 pm

  30. maggie, dammit said,

    Yeah.

    You know how we’re always relating to each other and shit? Well, I don’t have the eating thing right now but I have a history of bulimia and anorexia. I gave them both up for drinking, I think. It’s like you said–it’s just another way of abusing ourselves.

    But I bet this part is different. Meaning, I bet you’ve never done this kind of hard work self-analysis really getting it thing before, right? So I have to believe there’s hope for both of us. I have to.

    xo
    .-= maggie, dammit´s last blog ..Happy Birthday, Violence UnSilenced =-.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 7:07 pm

  31. Natika said,

    Stefanie,
    Since I quit drinking I have gone up 10lbs. In 8wks I’ve gone from 140-150lbs. I’m not dealing with it well. I know that it’s all addiction based. I wouldn’t eat when I was drinking because that would fill the empty void I was feeling. Now it’s sugar. Before I stopped drinking, I didn’t even like sugar. Now I just can’t stop eating it.
    This is totally messed up! I’m going to be 43yrs in a week or so. I can’t afford to pack on the Lbs now. They’ll never come off.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 7:18 pm

  32. trish said,

    “Every day I desperately promised myself never again.”
    Ditto for me.
    And then I drink again. Now I am starting to hide the amount from family and struggling to function. The highly functioning person I used to be is gone and I meet the bare minimum now. Everything is a chore…
    There is always an excuse not too quit.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 10:45 pm

  33. mischa said,

    I hate to chime in here but I feel like I have to… Stef, have you ever considered seeing a holistic dietician to determine what the real cause of this craving is? The reason I ask is that sometimes people can go years and years with internal imbalances (usually mineral imbalances) which causes other imbalances, which causes terrible cravings of some sort or another. For example, one of the symptoms of yeast overgrowth (google it and you’ll find tons of info) is alcohol cravings and sugar cravings… (and anxiety!). Once the imbalance is fixed, the cravings usually subside. I’m sure this sounds crazy but I’ve been through it and adjusted my diet and added supplements, and I no longer crave either one.

    The reason I didn’t want to write this is because I know addiction has many emotional causes – I get that. But there are also physical causes that can lead one down these paths… really and truly. Been there, done that. You can email me privately if you want more information.

    | February 18, 2010 @ 11:12 pm

  34. Gretchen said,

    Thank you Stef! I too am dealing with secondary addiction crazies around sugar. Bulimia also in my past, again, never ‘cured’. Dammit.
    Thanks for sharing the ride, just need to have someone say I’m not crazy today. Almost at my 11mth mark!

    | February 19, 2010 @ 1:51 am

  35. seekingclarav said,

    My mom used to bust me sitting under the dining room table literally eating sugar out of the sugar bowl with that little teaspoon.

    Once again I find myself relating to you…shocker. Your ability to look inside yourself is amazing and continues to inspire me.

    xx c
    .-= seekingclarav´s last blog ..53 days and deep =-.

    | February 19, 2010 @ 3:47 am

  36. Brooke said,

    After years of avoiding sweets by simply not bringing them into my house, I have fallen back into chocolate fiend mode. I too blame it on the sobriety. I feel like I deserve it. I deserve the way it makes me feel and damn it, I am entitled to replace those calories! But, when I really think about it and when I read this, it’s clear- I’m just replacing one addiction with another.
    .-= Brooke´s last blog ..rubies and love songs =-.

    | February 19, 2010 @ 3:19 pm

  37. Mitzi said,

    My favorite line…
    I can’t stop eating. Well, I can – you know to breathe and sleep and run errands and…okay, so I can stop eating.
    Thanks for the chuckle!

    | February 19, 2010 @ 7:02 pm

  38. Mommy on the Spot said,

    I think it’s really interesting that you were able to draw a parallel between drinking and eating sugar. Self-awareness and being present is so key and yet so under rated . . .
    .-= Mommy on the Spot´s last blog ..Thank you and then some!! =-.

    | February 20, 2010 @ 2:16 am

  39. tracey said,

    I agree with the comments that some people’s personalities are just more addictive than others.

    Whack a mole is addictive, too. Stupid mole.

    Good luck, hon.
    .-= tracey´s last blog ..Immortality on the Internet =-.

    | February 20, 2010 @ 7:46 pm

  40. Katie said,

    I can’t believe this post. I haven’t been here in a few days and today I first read the Friday post and after that came across this one. I have so often thought about commenting to you about how true your posts are. how much I see myself in them. But my problem is not alcohol. It is food. Ad it was bulimia. And I wasn’t sure if that would make sense. But I keep on reading and thinking, yes I know … that’s me too… just different. This April marks ten years since I went into treatment, for the fourth time, and finally became symptom free. Free of the purging. But the food and body image struggles continue and can really be challenging. Thank you so very much for this post. Now I don’t feel so on the outside, alone. Which really is my default setting. Thank you, thank you so much.

    | February 21, 2010 @ 1:57 am

  41. Helen said,

    “Who the hell could get high off of Tylenol PM?”

    Sadly, me.

    | February 22, 2010 @ 6:47 pm

  42. Paula said,

    I think, moreso than even capturing that feeling of cravings, you capture the desperation of it, with such a sense of immediacy that it nearly makes me want to frantically paw through the cabinets at work searching for sugar packets or something.

    The cravings and the anxiousness sure are hand holding buddies.

    | February 23, 2010 @ 8:51 pm

  43. MLB said,

    I have a tremendous amount of admiration for you and what you are accomplishing in your life and in this blog. My mother was a recovering alcoholic and one of the things she learned in rehab was that alcohol has a lot of sugar in it and that the sugar cravings that newly sober people experience are probably related to the fact that they’ve had a constant source of sugar that is now gone. My facts may be off, but it’s something worth contemplating.

    | February 24, 2010 @ 4:59 pm

  44. mel said,

    I’m blown away with the insights and honesty I’ve read here. Stephanie, after I heard you on the Dr. Oz Show, I stopped my “wine only on the weekend” drinking that night–you reached me that quickly. It wasn’t that hard to give up the wine, actually, but I have upped the sugar intake threefold, so instead of losing the wine weight, I’ve continued gaining pounds with Toblerone’s, baked goods (homemade, of course), and truffles (because my birthday and Valentine’s are close together). I’m making excuses about eating sugar like I did about drinking! I hate my body image and the way I feel on the sugar rush–it is an addiction…So back to the drawing board, I guess. You can do it; I can do it. I’m grateful for the support I find here…

    | February 26, 2010 @ 2:13 am

RSS feed for comments on this post

peel n stick customized labels

use the code babyonbored and save 10%


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

I'm Kind of a Big Deal
Read an Excerpt!
Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

It's Not Me It's You
Read an Excerpt!
Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

Naptime is the New Happy Hour
Read an Excerpt!

Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
Read an Excerpt!

Buy the Book:
Amazon | B & N