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Can She EVER Talk About Anything Else?

I was going to post about something different today. I’m serious. I had a whole long post building in my head about Sadie’s biting issue -which was going to get sooo many comments because, come on, biting sucks and it is a big issue – although not as big as drinking. To me the whole issue is becoming a bit of a snore so I promise I will stop discussing every nuance of every feeling that pops into my head but…I did do this video for Momversation and it’s up on their site so heeeere’s me.

Go to Momversation to see the video which I had to take off my site cause it was screwing it up. Rob, who edited this and I think he did an amazing job, although he cut out a scene where I wolfed down an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids in one gulp as an example of some “stress relieving techniques”, says he is going to give me more episodes. But maybe he was drunk.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on September 3, 2009 11:26 pmDrinking23 comments  

23 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    Is this for a particular purpose, i.e., a spot on TV?

    | September 9, 2009 @ 10:30 pm

  2. Ellie said,

    I'm a Mom to two kids, in recovery two years now, and I agree with everything you said on the signs to look for. The slope towards alcohol dependency is long and gradual for most people – you are deep in the woods before you really know whether or not you have a problem.

    Definitely asking yourself whether or not you should cut back is a BIG one.. if you're asking, like you said, it is probably a problem. I also found myself, as time wore on, really looking forward to any event where there would be drinking – not the event, just that there would be drinks. I avoided situations that didn't serve alcohol – another sign. Also – if other people NOT drinking makes you uncomfortable, that is something to think about.

    Also, asking yourself if you really, truly enjoy having only one. Even early on, the point was to alter my state of mind – getted buzzed – not just to relax. One was always hard for me.

    When I thought about stopping, I would feel kind of panicky. Not a good sign. I could diet – cut out sugar and fats – and not feel panicky – so that should have been a sign.

    Other things: drinking before you go out – so you can do more "normal" drinking in public, or because you have a hard time socializing without alcohol .. another sign.

    Lastly, if people in your life are saying things to you about it, there is something to it. Especially if you feel defensive about it.

    Great Momversation – great topic – good for you for putting yourself out there. You're helping a lot of people.

    | September 9, 2009 @ 10:43 pm

  3. Ellie said,

    "Getted buzzed?" I meant "get buzzed". Jeez – you would think I had had a couple! :)

    | September 9, 2009 @ 10:44 pm

  4. Tracy said,

    First of all, I need to go check out "momversation.com" because it seems really cool. I like the different perspectives. I'm really bummed, though, that I didn't get to see the Sour Patch Kids trick. Oh well.

    I would like to commend you, again, for what you're doing for yourself, for your family. I will admit that for awhile (well, really until the last couple months) I was drinking more and more. What started as one or two glasses of wine every couple nights was closing in on a regular habit that was increasing in volume. Your decision to stop drinking made me stop and look at what I was doing.

    Did I quit drinking? No. But I do have a rule that I won't drink two nights in a row, and I'm limiting the amount. I know, going into an evening, what my upper limit is. And I've NEVER done that.

    So, thank you.

    | September 9, 2009 @ 10:45 pm

  5. Y said,

    I normally can't watch momversation without twitching and wanting to punch things. But I will watch it for you.

    | September 9, 2009 @ 11:04 pm

  6. Lisa Page Rosenberg said,

    Thank you for doing this.

    Because some people can go for days or weeks a without a drink and still have a problem, my favorite barometer about problem drinking is this:

    You have a problem if when you control it, you don't enjoy it, and when you enjoy it, you can't control it.

    | September 9, 2009 @ 11:31 pm

  7. Marinka said,

    I loved this, but I don't understand why those other ladies kept interrupting you. they seemed a little drunk…kidding.

    | September 10, 2009 @ 1:06 am

  8. Rebecca said,

    Why is it that as soon as the Target commercial comes on the thing plays well and doesn't stop. You start talking and the dang thing slows down and stops and starts every fourteen seconds.

    Anyway, I can't wait to read the biting issue problem with Sadie because my son who is about 2 1/2 and still NOT talking, bites frequently. He takes pretty big chunks out of his four year old sisters arms, legs and back frequently.

    | September 10, 2009 @ 1:38 am

  9. Molly said,

    This is very brave to put yourself so far out there, in the shark-infested waters of the mommy-blogosphere… Nowadays, there are more and more women who are VERY stressed out, and many of them are turning to alcohol (mothers or not). It's very cool to have someone who is a hip lady like you, saying, CHILL…

    | September 10, 2009 @ 6:17 am

  10. Janefilms said,

    you have really good eyebrows. No I heard what you said, really.

    thanks for telling the truth Stef, you're a stud and I'm really impressed.

    | September 10, 2009 @ 7:38 am

  11. Shannon said,

    Again, my friend, Kudos to you for all your hard work on staying sober and having the strength to share it with all of us…even the negative asses.
    note to Anonymous: She has already been on T.V. like a hundres times, unless you meant that in a funny, joking way, then dis-reguard my comment.
    Back to Steph: You are the bomb…you are into everything girl, everywhere I look, there you are! Becoming an international star. I'll bet Jon is so proud of you. And your girls are probably wanting "To be mommy" everyday. Again, congrats!

    | September 10, 2009 @ 11:54 am

  12. Anne Cunningham said,

    this was fabulous, as are you. caught this on dooce.com, and gladly so; can't wait to order the book and read more of your writing online.

    | September 10, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

  13. Mommy on the Spot said,

    That was really interesting. I tend to relate to your point of view more than the other women. I think that I may have self-medicated during really stressful times, but foturnately was able to put myself in check afterwards. Addiction runs in my family so I know how much it sucks. I really enjoy hearing your story, and I think it helps me understand addicition in a different light. Thank you.

    | September 10, 2009 @ 5:47 pm

  14. Anonymous said,

    I can't watch this until later, and I will, but I have to tell you that I've been following your blog since they NYT article. My mom, a recovering alcoholic, forwarded the article about you to me because I have been having struggles that are so similar to yours that I cried and laughed simultanously at our similarities the whole time I read the article about you. I am so glad that you "Can't ever talk about anything else" because I come to your blog to hear about you and what you're thinking and going through (cause, in case you haven't caught on, I RELATE!!!!) and I don't want you to worry about blogging "too much" about any topic. That's the beauty of having your own blog – it's about you! Anyway, thank you for sharing your struggles. I am still not sober but I think about it every day. I struggle with step one so much, and I have lived as an ACOA my whole life so I am kind've unable to get there. I am jaded and vulnerable and lost, and it helps to know I am not the only one.

    | September 10, 2009 @ 5:56 pm

  15. KC said,

    thanks for bringing up this important topic, even if it was more or less blown off by your peers. I appreciate your work and I wished my mother had recognized a problem and tried to remedy when I was young. i whole-heartrdly support you and your bravery.
    Your friend in recovery

    | September 10, 2009 @ 7:04 pm

  16. Leadia Jarvis said,

    Interesting topic, good insights from both sides. But let's get to the real issue…how do you look so good???? You're adorable!

    | September 10, 2009 @ 8:15 pm

  17. Jean said,

    Good video! There is a simple, well-known screening tool for alcoholism called the CAGE Questionnaire. Your readers might like to give it a whirl.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CAGE_questionnaire

    Thanks for talking about this issue.

    Jean
    Public Health Gal and mom of 2

    | September 11, 2009 @ 5:41 pm

  18. Cat said,

    I don't have speakers at work! I'll be back to watch later. But can I just say YOU ARE SO STINKING CUTE! Oh my god, I'd like to put you in my pocket and carry you around all day.

    | September 11, 2009 @ 6:12 pm

  19. Glennon said,

    The evening after my intervention, my sister took me to my first AA meeting. She took an AA brochure from a table so we’d have something to look at as we sat and joined the circle. On the front was a list of warning signs of alcoholism:

    Do you drink more than four servings in a setting? One time I didn’t. Do you ever drink in the mornings? Only on weekends. Do you ever blackout? Can’t remember. Have you suffered negative consequences from drinking? Hmmm…being at an AA meeting seemed like a pretty negative consequence.

    Neither of us said a word until my sister leaned over and whispered, “I don’t know if AA is going to be good enough for you. We might need Triple A."

    That was my warning sign.

    | September 11, 2009 @ 8:09 pm

  20. WhisperingWriter said,

    Yum, Sour Patch Kids.

    Okay, so I watched the video. I rarely drink alcohol because I've never had a taste for it. Well, unless they're the fruity kinds but who wants to make your own fruity drink so I only have that occasionally when I go out and when I feel like forking over $7 for one teeny tiny beverage.

    I mainly self-medicate with chocolate.

    | September 13, 2009 @ 5:10 am

  21. MyHormonesMadeMeDoIt said,

    I thing it is awesome that you are willing to be so open so that others can start a conversation like this. I think it is a definite problem when you cannot go one day without or cannot just have one drink on the days that you do. The list of what is/is not a problem could really go on and on I'm sure. Mostly I think we have to check ourselves and be honest.

    | September 14, 2009 @ 3:33 pm

  22. Anne Marie said,

    I found your blog through a friend who is a http://www.juiceboxjungle.com gal. Love your honesty with humor.

    | September 15, 2009 @ 3:54 pm

  23. paysonmommy said,

    my favorite sign is: if you have rules around drinking like never before 6, only beer, only wine, only with my husband etc…..then you have a problem. it is also SO important to know about the way addiction runs in families and that alcoholism grows in you whether you are drinking or not –

    | September 18, 2009 @ 7:31 pm

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