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On a Very Special Episode of Sesame Street…

Cookie Monster must face an intervention for his obsessive cookie eating. After being told that “everyone here on Sesame Street loves you like crazy and just wants you to get better,” Cookie agrees to go to a 30-day in-patient treatment center in Palm Springs, CA. Four days after completing treatment, he relapses on a box on Nilla Wafers.

Thanks to Cialis, Mr. Noodle finally gets al dente.

Ernie and Bert realize their lifelong dream of adopting twin Chinese baby girls. They name them Esther and Babs. Although the children are not biological, Esther loves baths and Babs loves pigeons.

Dorothy finally gets out of Elmo’s shadow when she leaves Sesame Street to star in her own VH1 reality show, “Fishbowl of Love.”

What’s the Word on the Street? Clit.

Oscar the Grouch finds a bootleg prescription for Wellbutrin, moves out of his trash can into a phat new dumpster and gets a job working for the DMV.

After listening to Elmo refer to himself in the third person for almost three decades, Snuffleupagus hands him a long overdue trunk whipping.

The letter Q suffers a massive stroke, after a long period of rehabilitation, he returns to the alphabet determined to teach children about the dangers of high cholesterol.

Gordon is falsely accused of sexual harassment by a greedy, litigious puppet. He hires Gloria Allred to represent him. Eventually he is cleared of the charges but is forever followed by a dark cloud of doubt.

In the tear jerking show ender, Big Bird unwittingly brings in an anti-viral resistant strain of Avian flu creating a fatal pandemic throughout Sesame Street.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on August 6, 2009 2:15 amUncategorized53 comments  

53 Comments

  1. Mommy Melee said,

    You're a nutbar. I adore you.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 2:23 am

  2. Neil said,

    For some reason, the one about Gordon doesn't sound that far-fetched.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 2:24 am

  3. Life of Preston said,

    thanks for sayin' what I've been thinkin'! :) my kid is addicted to Sesame Street and I have to make up neurotic stories about all the characters (which of course, I keep to myself!) just to make it through the episodes

    | August 6, 2009 @ 2:54 am

  4. eden said,

    Awesome.

    So, cookies are a "sometimes" food, for Cookie Monster now. Wasabi is a "sometimes" food too. Especially when you think it's avocado.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 2:55 am

  5. Jennifer said,

    Hilarious much? Ha! Can't. Stop. Giggling…

    | August 6, 2009 @ 3:12 am

  6. Aunt Becky said,

    Dude. Obviously.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 3:15 am

  7. Rockzee said,

    "What's the Word on the Street? Clit."

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

    | August 6, 2009 @ 3:31 am

  8. Lynn Greer said,

    I love it.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:10 am

  9. Beth said,

    HILARIOUS! Love it. However, I don't know if I'll be able to watch S.S. with a straight face now! =)

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:14 am

  10. merlotmom said,

    You've committed Sesame Street sacrilege. Do you realize that? Sacrilege! I may never be able to forgive you. Sniff.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:28 am

  11. Lolly said,

    What about the Count? One, one bong hit, mwha ha ha.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 5:06 am

  12. Shannon said,

    You are one hilarious chick! My kid is asking me what I am laughing at so hard at 6:30 in the morning while watching some fucked up episode of some stupid shit called "OOBIE" on Noggin. WTF? Does anyone have any brains to come up with anything educational anymore? It a fucking hand with two eyeballs glued to it. I should come up with some stupid crap and make it big. I could use the extra cash! And I was going to ask you about writing a book.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 10:53 am

  13. CaffeineFreeMama said,

    You are so funny!

    | August 6, 2009 @ 1:43 pm

  14. TheKitchenWitch said,

    I love the Mr. Noodle comment! What an awesome post.

    Shannon, I am with you on that weird-ass Oobi. Gives me the heebie-jeebies. Who the fuck thought that thing up?

    | August 6, 2009 @ 2:09 pm

  15. Erin said,

    Wow. That's awesome. I'm still laughing!

    | August 6, 2009 @ 3:27 pm

  16. beyond said,

    i'm so glad i came by today. high quolesterol indeed.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 3:57 pm

  17. Piccinigirl said,

    LOL, tjhat was better than Avenue Q!!! (but a little less dirty) …

    LMAO!!!!!

    What's wrong with Cookie monster liking Cookie, no wonder our kids are confused…seriously.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:24 pm

  18. Wicked Step Mom said,

    I was all ticked off before I came by. And then you made iced tea come out of my nose. And now I am grumpy because Iced Tea shouldn't burn so much. But I forgot why I was originally ticked off, so thanks!

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:31 pm

  19. Anna Marie said,

    Hilarious, but the idea of Mr. Noodle on Cialis gives me a case of the screaming meemies.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:34 pm

  20. Anonymous said,

    Yes to all but Mr. Noodle! He and his dirty brother get arrested for pedophilia for sure. Or at least goes on What Not to Wear and loses the 'stache.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 4:45 pm

  21. Andrea (ace1028) said,

    OMG. Hilarious, seriously. I'm dying here.

    And I SO agree about Oobie. What on earth? I saw that thing in the middle of the night and it scared the sh!t out of me!

    | August 6, 2009 @ 5:52 pm

  22. wendi said,

    Oh, you are funny. But I think you need to get out of the house.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 5:56 pm

  23. Rebecca said,

    That was some seriously funny stuff! Thanks! I really can't decide which I like best. Mr Noodle, perhaps?

    Ooby is strange but Boo-Bah really takes the cake for me. That show is about crack heads, for crack heads, made by crack heads! Boo-Bah makes me want to swallow a bullet.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 5:58 pm

  24. MereCat said,

    What about The Count? Ah. ah. ahhhh.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 6:14 pm

  25. Kendra said,

    Wow, that's more thought than I have ever given to Sesame Street! I am jealous and impressed.

    And yes, Oobi is awful. My 3-year-old adores it and always wants to talk to "Ooba," which is just my hand. I am okay with the "bare hand puppet" and with the supposed lessons. But I cannot stand the assumption that my kid can't understand sentences with verbs in them! "Oobi evil. You say… Oobi evil."

    | August 6, 2009 @ 6:34 pm

  26. Susan said,

    Clit. Clit. Clit. Do I sound cool? Another one to pass on to Sadie's speech therapist. Clit. Clit. Clit.

    | August 6, 2009 @ 8:20 pm

  27. Wishing 4 One said,

    OMG you always top yourself. Love it!

    | August 6, 2009 @ 9:41 pm

  28. daisybv2 said,

    Love it…. so glad I have about another year before I watch that again.

    | August 7, 2009 @ 1:38 pm

  29. Anonymous said,

    My kids r over SS. But that was hilarious just the same!!!! Weird kid shows? WTF is up with Yo Gabba Gabba?!?!

    | August 7, 2009 @ 2:19 pm

  30. Schmutzie said,

    You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
    http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/08/five-star-fridays-edition-65.html

    | August 7, 2009 @ 5:01 pm

  31. WM said,

    You…are seriously awesome.

    | August 7, 2009 @ 5:04 pm

  32. JennyMac said,

    This is TOO funny and a perfect laugh for this time of day. Great post.

    | August 7, 2009 @ 7:05 pm

  33. Mommy & Aiden said,

    This is hilarious. I live to make fun of Sesame Street, especially Elmo.

    | August 8, 2009 @ 1:55 am

  34. Vegbee said,

    Go Snuffy Go!

    | August 8, 2009 @ 5:47 am

  35. Am I doing okay? said,

    When I had Mr. Noodle, he had no problems. Of course, that was over 5 years ago. So, obvs, you're not doing it right.

    | August 8, 2009 @ 6:08 am

  36. Heather of the EO said,

    That was just pure comic genius. Loved it.

    | August 8, 2009 @ 10:32 pm

  37. jyl (Mom It Forward/#gno) said,

    Just found you on Twitter. Awesome site. I need to go buy your book. The funny part… how many of us knew every single character your post described… well, with the exception of Esther and Babs, who, of course, were new to the street!

    Glad to have discovered your blog today!

    | August 8, 2009 @ 10:52 pm

  38. Mrs. T said,

    I think you could come up with the sequel to Avenue Q- sooo funny!

    | August 9, 2009 @ 5:03 pm

  39. adventures in motherhood said,

    Fabulous!

    | August 9, 2009 @ 5:14 pm

  40. Jack said,

    Elmo must die. That's all I have to say about that.

    | August 9, 2009 @ 11:57 pm

  41. Diane said,

    great post. we watch sesame daily. it is painful. I will be laughing at it tomorrow! Thanks!!!

    | August 10, 2009 @ 2:26 am

  42. ModernMommaBlog said,

    That's the sesame street I want to watch! Too funny.

    | August 10, 2009 @ 2:52 am

  43. Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said,

    LOVE THIS.

    But you need to tell us what REALLY happened with those yip yip monsters and the twiddle bugs.

    | August 10, 2009 @ 3:42 pm

  44. Rebecca said,

    I came back to say that while the comment about Mr. Noodle and Cialias was hilarious, I really doubt Mr. Noodle would know what to do with an erection. I'm thinking it would frighten him.

    | August 10, 2009 @ 7:13 pm

  45. Carolyn...Online said,

    Heh heh. You said clit.

    | August 10, 2009 @ 8:27 pm

  46. Mrs JP Chaos said,

    Okay…you don't know it (or me) but that brought me a lot of joy on an otherwise tiresome and stressful day.

    Hilarious.

    | August 11, 2009 @ 12:30 am

  47. Trista said,

    Hysterical and awesome. The "trunk whipping" had me in stitches!

    | August 11, 2009 @ 2:01 am

  48. momtrolfreak said,

    love love love.
    and the thing with Gordon was bound to happen after awhile–you keep inviting kids over to your home for a snack and eventually you're gonna get slapped with a lawsuit.

    | August 12, 2009 @ 3:35 am

  49. Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said,

    Why the heck can't I think like that?? This is so freakin' funny!

    | August 12, 2009 @ 5:36 pm

  50. Effyou2 said,

    effing hilarious! i will follow you. I mean, your blog. Not you. Cause I'm not a stalker like that. I have been re-habbed.

    | August 13, 2009 @ 4:57 pm

  51. Chris Mancini said,

    How did you get Children's Television Workshop to send you the final Sesame Street script? Damn, you're connected.

    | August 15, 2009 @ 6:22 am

  52. The Mother Tongue said,

    After two years of having to listen to that obnoxious little red monster, I would pay good money to see Snuffy deal out that trunk-whipping.

    (although, let's be fair, my greatest loathing is reserved for that epic whiner Caillou)

    | August 16, 2009 @ 5:04 am

  53. Kristine said,

    Yeah, yeah, I'm just behind on my blog reader.

    But holy crap that was funny! And I've been watching a lot of Sesame Street the last couple months with the littlest.

    Gotta love the word on the street!

    | November 7, 2009 @ 4:04 am

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