Sadie got weighed today and although still a feather weight, she came in at 19 lbs. 2 oz. Okay, fine, maybe she was 19 lbs 1 and 1/2 oz but let’s not split hairs okay? Let’s just call it 2 oz and not try to ruin the rest of my day. Jesus! Anyway, as I was saying the kid is closing in on 20 lbs. which will be a wonderful milestone provided she’s not seven years old when it happens. Unfortunately her movement up the growth chart is more slow than a glacier so according to Patricia, it’s inevitable that we will be seeing an endocrinolgist in the not so distant future. “We have to remember that Sadie has IUGR,” Patricia said (possibly because I was looking agitated – although I could be agitated for a number of reasons; almost 6 weeks without alcohol in my system, Wes getting a rose on Bachelorette or residual guilt over the five pieces of pizza I sucked down last night with salad and bread sticks ((four of them))).
“I haven’t forgotten she’s an IUGR baby,” I said. And I haven’t. Not for one minute of one day since I first googled it while still pregnant. Honestly it’s pretty hard to forget that Sadie is different considering she takes twenty minutes to eat one piece of pasta, how much therapy she has and how far she still has to come. “Just look at the difference between Sadie and Mattie. It’s a constant reminder,” I added. Which brought our attention to Matilda.
“Do you want to weigh her?” Patricia asked.
She weighs 28 lbs. Oh yeah. She’s between 75th and 90th percentile in weight and 25th in height. She’s built like a snowman. And you know why? Because the beyotch pilfers all of Sadie’s Pediasure and helps herself to all the fattening food that Sadie leaves behind. So now, I have an underweight child and an overweight child which is awesome because I have to make different food for Mattie and different food for Sadie and different food for Elby and then order take-out for me and Jon because I’m too fucking tired to lift a finger to make one more meal at the end of the day. Plus, Pediasure is going to be on lockdown for the time being and doled out just during mealtime so I can keep an eagle eye on it.
But I am going to look on the bright side. Sadie is gaining. One day this will all be okay. We start speech therapy tomorrow. I have a strong feeling Sadie will learn like 100 new words. Let’s hope a few of them are curse words so I’m not the only one swearing around here.