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Baby’s Got a Brand New Do

I am home from NYC. Two things come to mind at the exact same time: it was difficult being away from my twins for two whole days, it was nice to be away from the twins for two whole days. Yes, these two thoughts can reside in my brain simulaneously. No matter how attached I’m getting to those little monkeys (and I mean that in a loving way, not just a “those f-ers can tear apart the house, throw remote controls in the toilet, steal keys which will never be found again, break through childproofing locks to unload an entire box of Honey Joe’s O’s and top it off with someone getting bitten” way) it’s still nice to have a night or two to think about nothing but what’s on pay-per-view.

I watched I Love You, Man the first night – which I thoroughly enjoyed, although my old crush on Paul Rudd has sadly come to an end because he is clearly gay. The second night I watched Marley and Me. This may have been the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Seriously. I kept waiting for something to happen (besides the dog dying of OLD AGE at the end). Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston have about as much chemistry as a rock and a fire hydrant. If you can point out that this movie had some kind of hidden meaning, please do. Owen Wilson’s character is not happy at his job even though it’s a great job (he’s a newspaper columnist). After Jennifer has a miscarriage at 8 weeks of pregnancy (which she gets over after one crying jag by taking a trip to Ireland), she goes on to have three kids in the space of 10 minutes of screentime. Finally Jennifer decides that Owen isn’t happy (we all know that – the guy is a major depressive) so she gives him the go ahead to move his family for a different job (straight reporter) and he’s not happy there either. Message: he always wants what he can’t have (except that they don’t really play this because he loves his wife blah blah blah and doesn’t want to not be married or not have children). Then the dog dies. Message: I have no fucking clue because THAT’S THE END. Since this was a box office hit, I kept waiting for tragedy to strike the family like a tornado or a home invasion robbery but no. Nada. Luckily the minibar was stocked with two bags of peanut m&m’s which dulled the pain somewhat.

In case I neglected to mention, the book is on sale officially as of July 7th so if you wanted to buy it, I couldn’t stop you.

By the way, I leave town for two days and look what happens to my child’s hair. She’s going to have to start toddling around with a pick in her back pocket.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on July 10, 2009 3:32 pmUncategorized40 comments  

40 Comments

  1. daisybv2 said,

    I am glad you watched Marley and Me first, as I was wanting to watch it but now I won't Thanks saved me the suffering LOL

    | July 10, 2009 @ 4:23 pm

  2. SmartAssMom said,

    I'll still buy your book even though you just totally spoiled Marley and Me for me.

    Marley dies??!!

    | July 10, 2009 @ 4:51 pm

  3. Stacy said,

    Yes, I'm considering suing the producers of that movie or Wilson and Aniston to get those two hours of my life back. Marley & Me was awful.

    | July 10, 2009 @ 4:52 pm

  4. Miss Behavin said,

    What? You didn't like Marley and Me?!?

    I really enjoyed it. Granted, it moved a little slow at times, but I thought it was laced with a few life lessons: life is riddled with ups and downs and family is most important, when you're at your wits end and ready to give up – don't, and, pets and small children shouldn't cohabitate.

    BTW- I caught the last few minutes of your segment on the Today show- you're lookin' hawt!

    | July 10, 2009 @ 5:08 pm

  5. Andrea (ace1028) said,

    I read the book and liked it just enough, but couldn't imagine loving the movie, so I've skipped it. Thanks for confirming that for me. I do want to see I Love You, Man, though. Esp. since we recently watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall and it was pretty funny!

    Looking forward to your new book!

    | July 10, 2009 @ 5:24 pm

  6. wendi said,

    You mean there's a dog in that movie? I thought it was about Owen Wilson hanging out with some reggae guys and smoking weed.

    (Rimshot, please.)

    | July 10, 2009 @ 5:32 pm

  7. Aunt Becky said,

    Reminds me I need to do a big ass review of your book. Can I give away a copy? (not MY copy, bitch, HANDS OFF)

    | July 10, 2009 @ 5:40 pm

  8. jennypw said,

    Thank you so much for "outing" Marley and Me. I watched it on a plane with baby in lap. I HATED it. It was a miserable movie and I actually question the judgement of anyone who liked it. It upsets me to hear people say they loved it because I realize that I can no longer associate with them…

    | July 10, 2009 @ 5:54 pm

  9. Anonymous said,

    I liked the book and the sappy movie.

    | July 10, 2009 @ 6:21 pm

  10. Stillie said,

    Marley and Me was such a good book that it became a box office hit simply by drawing in the readers. Add to that the people who see literally every movie that comes out just because they can, and you've got an unwarranted blockbuster.

    Granted, I haven't seen the movie, but I loved the book. Come on…you mean to tell me you didn't realize that ANY book or movie with a dog as the main character means that it's going to die at the end?!

    Glad you had a good trip!

    | July 10, 2009 @ 6:23 pm

  11. Booklover1212 said,

    Haven't seen Marley & Me and don't think I will either! Ordered your new book and can't wait to read it! I plan on posting a review on my page!

    ~ Jennifer
    http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/

    | July 10, 2009 @ 7:21 pm

  12. Rebecca said,

    Does purchasing the book and requesting for the library to purchase the book so I can check it out count for anything?

    You're awesome. Your interview was marvelous! Super Job!

    | July 10, 2009 @ 7:22 pm

  13. Anonymous said,

    Got the book in the mail from Amazon yesterday! Read a couple of chaps while getting some much needed baby-free time while i got my roots did :)Hilarious. And glad Marley and Me didn't drive you to drink from the minibar.

    | July 10, 2009 @ 7:40 pm

  14. university park nanny said,

    I've been a fan of your humor ever since I came across "sippie cups"in the bookstore..I'm a nanny so I could relate to most parts..I Love love love your new book.keep up the good work!

    | July 10, 2009 @ 8:46 pm

  15. LuLu and Moxley's Mom said,

    Everyone knows Paul Rudd is gay except Paul Rudd. And maybe his wife. Married doesn't equal straight. (Elton John was married once too…)

    | July 10, 2009 @ 9:28 pm

  16. heather... said,

    ?uestlove in da hizzy!

    | July 11, 2009 @ 1:03 am

  17. Anonymous said,

    Her hair is as big as she is!

    | July 11, 2009 @ 1:23 am

  18. jennifer said,

    But I don't want Paul Rudd to be gay!! please!?!

    | July 11, 2009 @ 2:28 am

  19. Michelle said,

    Oh my! Looks like the girl got into some hot rollers!

    | July 11, 2009 @ 4:19 am

  20. Beth said,

    That "do" is awesome!!! =)

    Can't wait to get my hands on the new book!

    | July 11, 2009 @ 4:56 am

  21. WhisperingWriter said,

    Wait, Marley dies???

    I'm kidding. I knew that. I watched it in the theater. I cried though when it happened. But I'm quite sensitive and also cry over cartoons as well.

    | July 11, 2009 @ 5:40 am

  22. Kendra said,

    Glad you got some time away from the kids. I feel that way if I'm away for a few hours–I'm so glad they're gone, and I miss them so much. (I NEVER go anywhere, so a few hours to me is like a weekend to most people!)

    I read Marley and Me and liked it. It was a sweet, sort of sappy story about life with a dog. My parents had two dogs (both dogs recently passed away) that clearly replaced their grown kids in the house, so I can identify with the "way too committed to the dog in your life" mentality. But I wasn't sure how it would translate to the screen. Glad not to have wasted my time!

    And that hair totally made my day. Was she in a Texas beauty pageant while you were away?

    | July 11, 2009 @ 1:23 pm

  23. Marinka said,

    Your reading was fantastic and I'm now enjoying your book. The only thing that would have made your reading better is if you'd taken hair styling tips from your daughter. I know that I plan to!

    | July 11, 2009 @ 3:35 pm

  24. Biscuit said,

    That is some amazing hair!
    I am very excited about your book – I dream of having my own. : ) And I loved Marley and Me. It was very sweet, and the book was even better. Movies and books just have to hit you at the right place in your life. I have absolutely hated movies that my friends loved, just because of what was going on in life. Can't wait to read your book. Congratulations!!

    | July 12, 2009 @ 3:15 am

  25. Rebecca said,

    No wonder she's so tiny, that girl has a head of hair! That's just what happens when you leave daddy to hair duty. She is so stinking cute!!

    | July 12, 2009 @ 7:25 pm

  26. Mommy on the Spot said,

    Isn't it funny, you can't wait to get a moment to yourself and when you do, you miss them? I don't get it. Anyway, you were awesome on the Today show. It was a big to do in my house since my 3 year old daughter had to share the tv with me. Can't wait to read your new book!

    | July 13, 2009 @ 1:27 am

  27. sarah said,

    LOL–she just needs a face full of Cover Girl and she's ready for the pageant circuit!

    | July 13, 2009 @ 4:56 am

  28. highlyirritable said,

    Love the pic. She looks like a patron at Studio 54 circa 1978.

    | July 13, 2009 @ 2:26 pm

  29. Anonymous said,

    Recently discovered your blog after seeing you on the Today show and hearing about your decision to stop drinking. It inspired me to take a closer look at my own drinking habits. Thank you for having the courage to be so open about it… I'm sure it's inspired others besides myself.

    | July 13, 2009 @ 3:44 pm

  30. mommymae said,

    who put her on 'toddlers & tiaras?'

    | July 13, 2009 @ 4:01 pm

  31. Catwoman said,

    If Marley and Me didn't drive you to start drinking again, then I guess nothing will.

    It's a movie about a destructive dog. Hard for me to laugh about it, when we dealt with Satan's Dog for more than 2 years.

    Of course, stupid me, I still cried when the damn dog died. Even though I fully suspected that's how the movie would end.

    So will Sadie only appear on Broadway in Grease, or will she also be touring?

    Also, I didn't realize I could already buy your book. Must run out to Amazon.com now. Which should leave me very winded with how out of shape I am.

    | July 13, 2009 @ 4:03 pm

  32. Lisa said,

    I hated that movie, too.

    | July 13, 2009 @ 7:08 pm

  33. Anjanette said,

    Thank you for the first paragraph about missing your twins while simultaneously not missing them. I know and live that feeling with my twins boys and 4 year old daughter! (Owen Wilson is a putz btw)

    | July 14, 2009 @ 1:52 pm

  34. Shonna said,

    I totally agree with you about Marley & Me. The whole movie is just gratuitous pulling of heart strings, and the whole time you're just waiting for the dog to die!

    | July 14, 2009 @ 2:59 pm

  35. Kari said,

    That hairdo is AWESOME!

    I've been thinking I should see Marley and Me. Now I think I'll skip it. Thanks for the tip!

    | July 14, 2009 @ 9:32 pm

  36. Summer said,

    You have a book??? Get out!

    As for the baby's hair…I see beauty contests in her future. Slap some pink lipstick on those lips and glitter on her eyes, and I see a star!

    | July 15, 2009 @ 2:25 am

  37. ModernMommaBlog said,

    I love the hair! Love it!

    | July 15, 2009 @ 4:54 am

  38. Surcie said,

    I'm removing that movie from my Netflix queue this instant! Thanks for the tip.

    Darling "do." It's quite popular here in The South among the 70 year olds.

    | July 15, 2009 @ 4:22 pm

  39. LiteralDan said,

    No time for hilarious baby hair, there's more important issues at hand! No way is Paul Rudd gay, he just can't be!

    I'd say he's one of my role models, and while I have nothing against gay people at all, I don't dream of being so, any more than I dream of being Chinese or blond or 7 feet tall.

    | July 17, 2009 @ 7:30 pm

  40. Carrie said,

    I hated that movie -totally sucked, and I'm glad you feel the same way and voiced it! Just catching up on all your blog posts–not in a weird stalker way though. I just love your wit!

    | August 10, 2009 @ 10:06 pm

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