I’m not asking my blog readers to donate money to my March of Dimes walk because I’m assuming most of you who feel inclined to donate have done so on Heather’s page. BUT…I just want to do my part so I’ve put it out there to my friends and family to help me raise some funds. The thing is, my kids are preemies too. I guess I tried my hardest to block out the preemie part of their birth because I was so busy worrying about Sadie being SGA or small for gestational age. But both babes were in the NICU for a month and it was a loooong month. I suppose since most of our challenges have been faced post NICU, I sometimes forget about the preemie part of the equation until I look on my bookshelf and see my Preemies book front and center like other people have What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s a book full of scary outcomes and possibilities so I read it as seldom as possible but I have to say I do feel the need to consult it more often than I’d like. I’ve spent more than a fair share of time trying to figure out if Sadie has a syndrome or other disorder that I or my many doctors could have overlooked. I’ve lost a lot of sleep over my kids not just due to normal infancy.
I would never ever want to make Heather and Mike’s loss about me. Heather has been a shoulder to lean on, a comrade in small baby land, a procurer of taxis at BlogHer and an overall hilarious and loyal friend and I would do anything to be someone for her to lean on now. At the same time how can her loss not make me think about Sadie who seemed to be on the exact same path as Maddie? Is it a there but for the grace go I? Is it that due to Sadie’s weight gain/developmental competitions with Maddie that I empathize a bit too much? This just hits too close to home for me to not be nudged out of my complacency toward the preemie condition and add my name to those who identify as a parent of a premature baby.
So I’m walking. Marching on team Maddie. For Heather, Mike and Maddie. For Alexa, Simone and Ames. For all parents of babies born too early. And for Sadie and Matilda, my own precious preemies.