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I Have Officially Become a Cliche

So that’s the view into the trunk of my minivan. I told myself if I was forced into a minivan I would at least have the decency not to become one of “those people.” And by those people I meant the ones who have given up on cleanliness; the ones who can’t go to a car wash without embarrassment; the ones with a half empty Diet Coke in the cupholder and the Goldfish crackers spilled in the trunk. Turns out I’ve become one of those people. A mother. DAMN IT TO HELL. THIS IS NOT SEXY. I am a fanny pack and a visor away from being a tourist at Disneyland. I’m officially changing my definition of “those people” to mean people who power walk and call that exercise. I’m so so not one of those people. At least not one of the ones who use hand weights. Cause that would be hard. You know, pushing the double stroller and all…

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 7, 2009 10:48 pmUncategorized21 comments  

21 Comments

  1. Marinka said,

    at least they’re colorful goldfish.

    | April 7, 2009 @ 11:36 pm

  2. Carrie said,

    They make your trunk look very pretty :)

    I was just thinking yesterday that I have become a cliche myself. One of those women pushing a small toddler in a stroller while sporting a very pregnant tummy. One of those women that I used to look at pityingly…

    | April 7, 2009 @ 11:46 pm

  3. Mrs. Wright said,

    I would be happy to have my van that clean… Yesterday I spent 12 minutes of straight vacuum time trying to suck up french fries and dehydrated corn dog parts at the car wash and it still smells like some kind of grease convention.

    I was bummed they didn’t show you very much on Oprah…

    | April 8, 2009 @ 12:02 am

  4. Amanda said,

    OK, I have crackers in my trunk, TWO half-empty Diet Pepsi cans in my cupholders, AND I power walk and call it exercise! I guess I’m a complete disaster. Or perhaps just the very definition of “those people.”

    | April 8, 2009 @ 12:23 am

  5. Feener said,

    I am a fanny pack and a visor away from being a tourist at Disneyland.

    love that line….

    | April 8, 2009 @ 1:07 am

  6. Stefanie said,

    Amanda, join the club. It seems we are always accepting new members. What’s happened to US ALL? I’m thinking of buying some mom jeans and calling it a day.

    | April 8, 2009 @ 1:26 am

  7. The Freaking SugarPlum Fairy said,

    LOL.
    Welcome to the sisterhood.

    Resistance is futile.
    }:->

    | April 8, 2009 @ 1:45 am

  8. the mama bird diaries said,

    Are you wearing Mom jeans? If not, you’re still officially in the clear.

    | April 8, 2009 @ 3:49 am

  9. Jeanet said,

    I was attempting to clean out my “situation” in my car, and proceeded to go through the car wash with my trunk open…

    | April 8, 2009 @ 4:12 am

  10. Carey said,

    I think it’s something in the minivan that changes you… at least, that is what I keep telling myself since I became one of ‘those people’ myself. Oh wait… things in the minivan = kids. It’s all starting to make sense now.

    | April 8, 2009 @ 4:40 am

  11. supermom said,

    lol It gets worse

    | April 8, 2009 @ 5:23 am

  12. Anonymous said,

    Read Heather Spohr’s blog. Everything, and I do mean everything, else pales in comparison. Let’s take a minute and stop complaining that we cannot shower or sleep.

    | April 8, 2009 @ 6:24 am

  13. Carebear said,

    Hey, how’d that picture of my trunk end up on your blog?!?! My car is disgusting. It needs one of those biohazard stickers on it, methinks. I promise to smack you if I catch you in fannypack and visor. Please return the favor if necessary. Waiting to watch Oprah on Tivo tomorrow…

    | April 8, 2009 @ 6:41 am

  14. GingerB said,

    Don’t dis the van, dude! I love my food encrusted van, because where else could I let my wee redheads be so very much themselves. And it matches my mom jeans I bought at Lane Bryant.

    | April 8, 2009 @ 9:13 am

  15. Wicked Step Mom said,

    After going on vacation in my car, I have banned all multicolored goldfish. Bear bought them for the girls.

    When I cleaned out my car after the trip, the back seat look like a kaleidoscope threw up back there.

    | April 8, 2009 @ 12:09 pm

  16. Kendra said,

    What does it say about me, that I actually feel better now? When I read your post, I thought, “Oh, God, I’m one of those people and I didn’t even know it!” But somehow, knowing that I don’t actually own the fanny pack and visor makes me feel better. If I see those bad boys coming down the pike, I’ll know something bad is happening.

    And I was just looking at my 3-C-sections belly the other day, thinking, “Is this why they invented mom jeans? Because I can do Weight Watchers and sit-ups all day long and this paunch is here to stay.” (Not that I do them, just that I, you know, could.) So if anyone knows any great mom-jean alternatives, I’m always looking!

    | April 8, 2009 @ 2:00 pm

  17. heartfull said,

    Kendra, they are called Spanx :).

    | April 8, 2009 @ 3:27 pm

  18. The Anonymous Platypus said,

    hey, I just surfed over from julia at uncommonmisconception. I have a theory about the reproductive habits of goldfish tiny crackers as there is no way my kids had that many fish to start with. seriously, those little crackers need to stop being fruitful and multiplying!

    | April 8, 2009 @ 3:29 pm

  19. Becky said,

    As for the Goldfish. I used to work at this private pre-school and apparently one of the students had rainbow Goldfish for a snack the day before because her BM was seriously the exact same color as Goldfish crackers. She came out of the bathroom saying, “It’s so beautiful. It looks just like a rainbow” I about fell over laughing when I figured out she was talking about BM!!

    | April 8, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

  20. Lisa said,

    It sucks but it’s the reality of having kids. I can barely manage to keep the house clean, let alone the car…

    | April 9, 2009 @ 4:38 pm

  21. Anonymous said,

    I always say, ” I used to talk about moms like me”

    | April 9, 2009 @ 5:48 pm

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