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My Late Thoughts On Idol

Okay, let’s get this done. I know I’m totally late on this and it won’t happen again (yes it will). First off, I don’t understand how the judges can berate a singer like JuNot for “taking on” a Michael Jackson song when “no one should touch Michael” and then the very next week they assign Michael Jackson as the theme. WTF? And, honestly, isn’t Michael Jackson about as relevent as the Flowbee vacuum haircut at this point? And how can you tell if a person can sing or not when they are doing an impression? I could go to Universal Citywalk here in LA and see twenty Michael Jackson impersonators. Actually I couldn’t because even the street performers are over the Michael Jackson thing.

Lil Rounds – PYT – Okay, it was fine – the song that is, but not the pants. She was wearing Mom slacks. But she’s on to the next round and she has a great voice so if they don’t continue to screw everyone over with MJ type horrors she will do fine.

Scott MacIntyre – I’ll be honest, I heard the first few notes and fast forwarded because, come on, he’d have to sound like Alvin the Chipmunk to get cut this early! I don’t know if you heard but, he’s blind. I know, I was shocked too. Since he can’t see, I really feel that someone should tell him he needs a little conditioner.

Danny Gokey – Okay, again, he’s not getting kicked off anytime in the near future because he adds so much pathos to the show (I am never sure whether that word is pronounce path-ohs or pay-thos – but I still like to use it -just not outloud until I get to the bottom of pronunciation). But pathos aside, he kicks ass every week. But, dude, just how many fucking pairs of glasses do you need? You’re a church choir director not a model for Lens Crafters. Pick a pair and stick with them.

Michael Sarver- I may hate on myself in the morning for even writing this but he might be growing on me a little. He’s not bad. It doesn’t matter anyway because he’s through to next week so we’ll see.

Jasmine Murray – Not exactly shocked that she went home. Look, like I said before, she’s 17. She’s gonna get a big head over this, tell her friends that she will only answer to Jazz (“What’s your last name?” “Just JAZZ.”) and end up singing in a mall somewhere. Hey, more power to her; it worked for Tiffany.

Kris Allen – Is it just me or when he talks do you feel like he’s doing an Australian accent? It’s so weird – like he’s channeling an actor from Lost or Crocodile Dundee or something. In any case, what was up with Paula saying “Don’t take this the wrong way but you are adorably sexy”? How could that possibly be taken wrong? Is he somehow going to infer that she means adorably sexy in an “I wouldn’t fuck you with Kara’s vagina” way? She is so high. I love it. And I think he’s next to go.

Allison Iraheta – Okay, she is my favorite and we know she has an insane voice but I don’t like that whole hard rock genre thing. I also don’t agree that “she really knows who she is.” SHE’S 16. At this point all she really knows is that beer tastes better after you’ve had four of them and that getting your tongue pierced hurts. Hopefully she’ll sing a more reasonable song next week or I may need cochlear implants. I suppose I could also just turn down the volume.

Noop – Really?

Jorge – All that accent work just to be on American Idol for five minutes. No wonder they hate our country. Oh wait, that’s the middle east.

Megan Corkrey -What happened there? The whole Rockin’ Robin’ thing made me think she was going to take my order for a root beer float in a 50’s diner. All she needed were some roller skates. Get back to the skanky soon to be coked out model we know and love.

So then the next night we saw Jorge and Noop get the axe and about 59 min. and thirty seconds of filler and commercials. And Kelly Clarkson. This season better get good soon because Housewives of NY is kicking their ass in the “keeping my interest” department. I may have to switch updates. Who’s with me???

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on March 12, 2009 7:40 pmUncategorized11 comments  

11 Comments

  1. franziska said,

    i’m in europe and ai will be waiting for me on the tivo when i get back. thanks for the little preview. you crack me up!

    | March 13, 2009 @ 12:09 am

  2. Becky said,

    I'm waiting on pins & needles for the rest of the recap. :)

    | March 13, 2009 @ 12:32 am

  3. Rachel said,

    I might have to jump on the RHNY train because I could use an easy to read chart on who the Countess offended/was offended by this week. You could add Bethany in there as well because I think we could all use a condensed version of her dating strategies (hard to get/uninterested, totally putting herself out there, casually dating several men at once) in action. By the way, your Today show appearance was far better than hers…

    | March 13, 2009 @ 3:54 am

  4. Wicked Step Mom said,

    I don’t actually watch Idol. I just read your updates and giggle.

    I didn’t know that they allowed so many teenagers on Idol. Aren’t they suppose to be in SCHOOL somewhere? That being said, maybe Miss Mom Slacks – Lil Rounds forgot to change out of her school marm outfit before the show?

    | March 13, 2009 @ 12:05 pm

  5. SmartAssMom said,

    I’m torn. I’m addicted to both shows. I’ll watch any reality show you throw at me. Even Rock of Love…all 3 seasons (so far).

    | March 13, 2009 @ 2:59 pm

  6. WA said,

    Danny: Dude, the glasses make you look like a German gynecologist. Herr Papsmear or something.

    Blind guy: borrow some sunglasses from Danny and get a dashiki so you look more like the blind singers we’re used to

    Megan: WTF? Is she gonna do “Splish Splash” for her encore?

    Irahta girl: You’re on TV now–you don’t have to dye your own hair in the bathroom

    Anoop: Please, please go back to graduate school. Your thesis is waiting.

    Now, please forget AI for a week and start writing about RHNY. I think The Countess needs a Stefanie bitch slap.

    | March 13, 2009 @ 3:27 pm

  7. Susan said,

    I’m all for reading your updates on the CUHRAAZY housewives in NY but you can’t abandon the Idol. That post is just too effin’ funny. “Beer tastes better after you’ve had four of them and getting your tongue pierced hurts,” Genius!

    | March 13, 2009 @ 4:20 pm

  8. Jennie said,

    I missed AI this week so this is great! Thanks!

    | March 13, 2009 @ 4:56 pm

  9. Putty said,

    Instead of singing Beat It, Anoop should have sang Thriller, but only the Vincent Price part. Think outside the box, Noop! You’re a smart guy. You’ll never be the next Sanjaya with such a lackadaisical attitude.

    | March 13, 2009 @ 6:31 pm

  10. Wishing 4 One said,

    Ok i just finished watching here. But Stef you know what that litle Jasmine can sang! I get it though. I was so shocked when my girl made it through to the next round, cute little coke model that she is. The Real Houewives of NY sounds so good. (be sure we are NOT getting that amnytime soon here in Cairo guaranteed) If you stop your commentary I’d have to remove your spankin’ link and its so sexy. Ok, do RHNY and do continue Idol cause your hillarious girl!

    – how funny is it that I avoid your blog until after 9pm Cairo time on Fridays, LOL!!!

    | March 13, 2009 @ 6:55 pm

  11. ByJane said,

    Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where’s Over-the-Top Adam in your analysis? That is a guy who practices every twitch in the bathroom mirror.

    | March 13, 2009 @ 7:16 pm

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