I love writing a post while my babies are screaming themselves off to dreamland. It’s just so relaxing!
So, I was on the Today Show as you know and some people thought I was a judgmental cooze. Not a lot of people, but some people and they took the time out of their busy schedules to write about it on their blogs. Okay, one blog that I know of but still a few of my readers (okay one) actually commented on that blog to say that she thought I was a way too harsh on Octomom too over her 911 calls. I’m not writing this entry to defend my statements on the Today Show. Hell, I was on the Today Show – that’s good enough for me. I said my opinion. No one forces me to say a different opinion than I already have, they (the producers) just call and ask how I feel and if it’s quite different than someone else feels they have me on because they expect me to be a little outspoken and keep it fairly light. Already it seems like I’m defending myself. I’m not. But, this blog called me judgmental and I thought about it for awhile and realized that, sure, I’m judgmental. Aren’t we all judgmental when it comes down to it? We’re not all public about it but we are all judgmental in our minds.
If I see a woman slap her child in Target (which I have) my immediate thought (right or wrong but I think I’m right) is that she is a shitty parent. Yeah, I said that. I think that a mom who slaps her child right in front of other people like she thinks that she is doing what’s right is a mom who I wish would take a parenting class, or anger management or hire a fucking nanny. That is my opinion. We all have opinions and those opinions cause us to judge other people’s opinions. I don’t care if you think you are the most laid back person on the planet and “each to his/her own” and all that bullshit. Inside you are judging. Without judgment we wouldn’t be able to come up with a code of ethics for ourselves.
The problem with judging comes when we have an opinion that we don’t have all the facts about and we without reservation, get up in someone else’s business about it. Just like I wouldn’t approach a mom who smacked her kid (only because I truly feel this would make the situation worse) although I would approach a mom who was obviously abusive (again, judgment call).
I personally feel, through my experiences etc. that Nadya the 911 abuser, showed unbalanced behavior. If I were in a similar situation do I know what I would do? No. But the bottom line is I wouldn’t be pregnant with oc-fucking-tuplets and telling the world how blessed I am to have 14 kids now in a two bedroom apartment and how I don’t need any help because it might interfere with the reality show I’m sure to star in. So. For the record: before this appearance, I knew that Nadya has a history of being unbalanced and that this was only one of quite a few 911 calls. So I was basing my judgment on those facts.
Sometimes, judgment is all we have to go on. This is how our system works. We have juries who pass judgment on people who are accused of crimes. I don’t even necessarily agree with this system because often times, people who sit on juries have no fucking clue what they are talking about, hearing or processing and just want to go home and resume their office job. I’ve been on a jury and I took my judging really fucking seriously. But I wasn’t on Nadya’s jury. Her future did not hang in the balance of whether or not I said “I’m worried the next 911 call might be because she’s missing a sandwich.” I was just trying to be amusing. That’s what they book me for. My opinions. And like them or not, I intend to keep having them.
And if you say I was a bad mom because I didn’t breastfeed for more than I could squeeze milk from my breasts, I will say that that is judgmental and you don’t have all the facts and it’s none of your business. Hypocritical? Maybe.