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American Idol – It’s Time!

Last night Jon and I watched Idol both of us barely alive after last weekend of no sleep ( I didn’t write about it because I was too tired) and this week of trying in vain to catch up on said missing sleep (that never works). Possibly we were punch drunk but Jon was making me laugh really hard. I will be including his thoughts for your enjoyment.

One more thing before we get to the recap: was this the whitest Idol group to ever have a Motown night? I felt uncomfortable for Smokey Robinson – who by the way, is like eight-seven and looks thirty. What is his secret? I hope it’s Botox because I only hope to look that good NOW. The only thing that bothered me about Smokey is that he described someone as “She could sing the phone book.” Let’s please stop saying that. It’s a clam.

Matt Giraurd: He sang “Let’s Get It On” As always, I’m a fan but I wasn’t crazy about the whole sudden “I’m breaking away from the piano and showing you my sexy side! Also, as Jon pointed out, you gotta be stoned and just monkey horny to sing that song right. I predict that he stays for at least another week if not three.

Kris Allen: As usual, I was not a fan. Jon said “The only thing the future holds for this guy is a failed relationship with Jennifer Aniston.” Well said Jon. How I wish you were a judge on the show. Instead we got to hear everyone talk about what a genius Kris is -if this guy were actually a genius I believe he long ago would have stopped spelling his name with a K. Also, Simon actually told him that he needs to have more self confidence. HUH? Was he being sarcastic? If this guy were any more full of himself he would burst and a thousand little Kris’s would sprinkle into the air and land on unsuspecting stages pretending to be Elvis.

Scott MacIntyre: He sang “You Can’t Hurry Love” which may be true but this song couldn’t have been over fast enough for my taste. I think we’re all starting to realize that this guy is epically adequate. And then Jon said, “If you’re blind and you find yourself wearing pink pants, you need a seeing eye stylist” and I promptly spit pinot grigio out of my mouth. Luckily, Simon and Randy actually manned up and told Scott it was average. And then Paula said “Having singers around you was distracting.” Distracting to whom?? He’s blind, Paula.

Megan Joy: Her last name is still apparently missing in action. This seems like a weird move. Changing names in the middle of the show? “I didn’t love that Megan Joy Corkrey, but now that she’s Megan Joy, I see her in a whole new light.” Megan JOY sang “For Once In My Life” but decided to jazz it up. Really? “For once in my life…JAZZ HANDS.” It was weird. And then Paula put the nail in the coffin with the old “You’re a beautiful girl.” Bye.

Anoop: He sang “Ooh Baby, Baby” which I thought would leave me in the bathroom with a razor blade but I’ll give it to him. He suprised me by being tolerable. Jon said, “He’s delayed the inevitable – a tech support line will go unanswered for another week.”

Michael Sarver: He sang “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” and as usual had the soul of a hedge fund manager. He’s a likeable enough guy but as Simon said, he doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning. I predict he’s the next to go.

Lil Rounds: Okay, being the only woman of color on the show, it seemed a sure thing that she’d be the star of the show. But then, to my horror, she was pretty bad. She sang “Love is Like a Heatwave” which I especially remember hearing on my parent’s Linda Ronstadt’s Greatest Hits record. Lil, you’re no Linda. I figured for sure the judges would go crazy for her anyway but they were underwhelmed except of course Paula who said, “Me and my three Dilauded had a very different opinion.”

Adam Lambert: He was great. I know, I’m as shocked as you. But he came out looking like a dead ringer for K.D. Lang and it worked. He sang “The Tracks of My Tears” in a decidedly understated manner. I’m all confused and befuddled. I just like using the word befuddled. No one really says that enough anymore. Let’s keep going.

Danny Gokey: Jon said, “He could sing the Ed Hardy Spring Catalog and sound great.” Then again, there’s like a 50% chance my husband could be gay so he loves Danny AND Ed Hardy. Come on, Danny is going all the way. Jon, honey, if you’re reading this, I’m kidding about the 50% – I mean, 100%.

Allison Irehara: She’s my favorite. She blew everyone away with her Papa Was a Rolling Stone. Which means she’s probably going home. If you don’t vote for her, you’re letting the terrorists win.

We won’t know what happens until Friday.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on March 26, 2009 3:04 pmUncategorized16 comments  

16 Comments

  1. WA said,

    Genius, as always. And I’m not sure who Jon is, but make him come over every week. Bribe him with Pinot Grigio if you have to.

    Smokey is wonderful, but have his eyes always been blue? I’ve never noticed that before. He does do a lot of crying, though-Tears of a Clown, Tracks of My Tears, etc., so maybe that’s why. Also, I kept getting distracted by Berry Gordy’s “niece” in the audience.

    I loved Adam. He’s really something. And also Alison. Lil was a huge disappointment. Finally, watching Megan was like being on an acid trip on Carnival Cruiselines. I kept waiting for clowns to jump out of her hair.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 4:33 pm

  2. Wicked Step Mom said,

    A seeing eye stylist? Are you sure he is not the comedian?!

    | March 26, 2009 @ 4:59 pm

  3. Venti Vixen said,

    I’m pretty sure I would have pissed myself after the seeing eye stylist comment. CLASSIC.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 5:36 pm

  4. beyond said,

    “a thousand little Kris’s would sprinkle into the air and land on unsuspecting stages pretending to be Elvis” HA! well said. i agree with most of what you say. i also almost always agree with what simon says. had to ff through some of scott’s performance. and some of michael’s. i still have a soft spot for megan. i fell in love with her wiggle-dance early on, so i will continue to root for her. unless she continues to be as questionable as this week. sigh.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 5:48 pm

  5. Anonymous said,

    So I read that Megan Joy got a divorce during this process and is going back to her maiden name and that’s why she dropped Corkrey. I’m assuming this is so that when she becomes a big star (or so she hopes) she won’t have to use her ex-hubby’s name. Hope that helps. I love your blog and your husband seems hysterical:)

    Sherri

    | March 26, 2009 @ 5:54 pm

  6. Suzy said,

    Last night was the first time I watched out of all the years I was an Idol Hag. None of them make it, their deals are all dropped, it just remineded me of my own career.

    I liked the Adam Lambert person and Motown will always rule. I miss Marvin Gaye every time I hear Justin Butterlake sing.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 6:28 pm

  7. ByJane said,

    I want to watch Idol at your house…

    | March 26, 2009 @ 7:20 pm

  8. Ramblin' Red said,

    I was SO waiting in the wings to read your thoughts on idol…I just always enjoy your thoughts, and bonus: Your hub’s thoughts were here too! OMG, loved the seeing eye stylist comment as I too could NOT embrace the flesh pink colored pants. Or Ryan’s “How do you KNOW they’re pink?” Are you kidding me??? The pants were tacky, but Seacrest’s joke was tackier still.

    I was bummed that Smokey was so Paula-esque in his mentoring…meaning, he thought everyone was SO GOOD. Really?!?

    I think Kris does ok. I enjoyed his performance last night, but do not think he will win the show. He’s just another pretty face/voice combo with nothing earthshattering about him.

    My predictions: Scott, Megan, and Michael have to be the bottom 3. Kris, Lil, Matt and Anoop (btw, love the tech support line from Jon) will be the middletons who are safe….THIS week, and Allison, Danny and Adam will be the top 3, possibly to the end. Matt is my darkhorse in that last statement because I am growing to like him more and more but don’t know if he’s over the top enough to run with the 3 I’ve picked. Adam is not my fave PERSON on the show, but I have to admit the boy can sing and he’s a helluva[n] entertainer.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 8:52 pm

  9. Jen said,

    This totally made me laugh out loud…love it!!!!

    And Allison is my fav..that girl ROCKS!

    | March 26, 2009 @ 8:57 pm

  10. Uncle Mikey said,

    Is telling someone they can sing the phone book really a compliment. I don’t think it takes too much talent. It actually seems pretty straightforward. I sang the phone book this morning with almost no coaching beforehand. Not that hard. Although I did start to tear up during the “R”s. I had no idea I would get that emotional, but then again I was touching on some pretty powerful stuff.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 9:17 pm

  11. Aunt Becky said,

    Dude. You’re my hero.

    | March 26, 2009 @ 9:38 pm

  12. Anonymous said,

    Watching Idol, wishing I was watching it with your hubs (funny man), and thanking my lucky stars that I’ve found a blog where Idol and Botox meet. Because I’ve been asking everyone . . . to no avail. . . did Stevie get Botox? His bald head is as smooth as an egg. And how does a rich blind man decide to get Botox? __JM

    | March 27, 2009 @ 12:52 am

  13. Giovanna Diaries said,

    Oh my gosh! Your husbands comments are hysterical. He needs to have his own ‘guest blog’ posts for after Idol shows.

    | March 27, 2009 @ 1:37 am

  14. help4newmoms said,

    I don’t know, I think you might have to start your own Idol blog devoted specifically to Idol, this is a great wrap-up.

    I have a few questions for you. swami.

    Why doesn’t anyone vote Kara off the show? She never has anything remotely interesting to add and when she does creep out of her hole to say something that the others don’t agree with, she scurries right back into her cave. It kind of reminiscent of the gal they used to give a hard time to on the View. What was that girl’s name?

    Why is it that Smokey never ages?

    Why do the Idol kids sing along to Stevie Wonder, I mean, it’s Stevie Wonder, for gosh sakes, let him sing the song? Zip it.

    How does Ryan come up with new and inventive ways to surprise us with who is getting voted off the show. Does he come up with the material himself or does he have help?

    And finally, How does Paula keep her dress up? And is something going on between her and Simon?

    Phew! I feel better. Thanks for the forum.

    PS. I still can’t believe they didn’t save Alexa

    | March 27, 2009 @ 7:57 pm

  15. coffee said,

    i wish the other judges (all the ones besides Simon) would think up some new generic observations before the next show

    | March 28, 2009 @ 6:45 am

  16. ElizabethMT said,

    I agree with you about Adam — he’s great! And he did look like k.d. lang!

    Your husband sounds hilarious — loved the blog! :)

    | March 28, 2009 @ 8:33 pm

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