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Crazy Bachelor Ladies Speak Out

Number of times Jason used the word “amazing” – 412

I need proof that Stephanie is not a man. I’m sorry but last night’s appearance didn’t help. Can’t someone sneak over to her while she’s mewwwing at Jason and swab her mouth for DNA? I’d do it but I’m kind of under the gun on a few other projects.

Natalie, Natalie, Natalie -thank you for being so delusional that you honestly felt everyone else was delusional. So did she or didn’t she get mad that she got splashed in the pool? I couldn’t sleep last night just looking at it from every angle. I mean, first she said she didn’t get mad but then she said she did get mad but then she was sarcastic and just trying to get out of the conversation. I’m so confused. I think the producers should go back and administer a lie detector test on Natalie so we can put this scandal to rest.

Math problem: How many tubes of bronzer does it take to make all of the bachelor’s amazing ladies look like they’ve been living in Hawaii (if Hawaii was actually a biodome with only artificial tanning light) for six months?

Why do Naomi and Jillian who “fell in love” with Jason seem completely over it now? Sure Jills shed a tear or two and admitted it was “emotional” going back to that time (um, what a month ago?) but I bet Jillian would tear up reading a grammer book. That chick cries a lot. I highly recommend Zoloft for that. Not that I really need it. I’m super stable. Just ask my shrink.

FYI – I had to fast forward through all the Trista Ryan bullshit. Yes, we get it, you’re still in love. You’re having another baby. I honestly would rather take a bath with my grandfather than listen to Trista drone on for an entire segment.

God, I can’t wait for Idol tomorrow.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on February 24, 2009 9:01 pmUncategorized7 comments  

7 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    It’s just a TV show with a history of a quick break-up. Just relax.

    | February 24, 2009 @ 11:17 pm

  2. LuLu and Moxley's Mom said,

    Just a tv show? JUST A TV SHOW???!!! Anonymous at 3:17 pm I wish I could be that cavalier about something so culturally significant as The Bachelor.

    Stef, I hope we can still be friends but when I run Natalie out of Chicago I’m buying her a one-way bus ticket to LA.

    | February 24, 2009 @ 11:50 pm

  3. Heather of the EO said,

    um…obviously anon doesn’t sense your sarcasm. As if it could be that unclear. Whoa…

    Your bachelor posts are hilarity.

    And since I’m hoping to show my mug at BlogHer, I sure hope I get to meet you.

    | February 25, 2009 @ 1:35 am

  4. Wicked Step Mom said,

    In answer to your math problem, I will say 36… because 37 would be over-kill.

    I love your Bachelor posts so much, I may even start watching the show.

    | February 25, 2009 @ 2:16 pm

  5. Carebear said,

    I’m also sick of the Trista Ryan fame seeking. They actually reran her season late one night on tv last week. CMT I think. And okay, I admit, I watched it. I still think Ryan is so cute, even if he has terrible taste in women.

    | February 25, 2009 @ 9:11 pm

  6. Carebear said,

    By the way, BlogBaby is giving away TWO awesome headbands, which means both your twins could wear one! Check it out: Hello There! We are playing “The Telephone Game” over at BlogBaby (www.theblogbaby.blogspot.com) come join the circle and pass this message on to fellow bloggers – The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain er…and also BlogBaby is Super Wicked and Awesome! Seriously, she’s a BABY who BLOGS!
    Check out BlogBaby to learn why we are playing “The Telephone Game” and how you can get in on it.

    | February 25, 2009 @ 9:13 pm

  7. Anonymous said,

    Damn Anon #1 @ 3:17 PM, your joyless tone-deaf comment gives all us anons a bad name.

    In nation torn by race, class and political divisions, one thing that we should all be able to come together on is the notion that Bachelor Jason is a simpering, preening Douchenozzle, and the lobotomized sorority alums chasing him are a scary concoction of Spray tan, Chlamydia and low self esteem.

    | February 26, 2009 @ 9:34 pm

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