There’s nothing I love more as a Jew than Christmas. It’s such a guilty pleasure to help Elby bake cookies for Santa, decorate the tree and drink gallons of eggnog. You see I never got to have a tree when I was growing up because although we weren’t “that Jewish” according to my parents, having a tree would somehow just be wrong. Eventually we were “that Jewish” and then Christmas ended for good. So when I was eighteen and on my own my first order of business was purchasing a humongous Christmas tree with my equally bad Jew friend Heidi. We wrapped each other gifts and entertained some random guys we met at a grocery store with festive holiday cocktails. Since then I’ve had some form of Christmas every year. But this year was particularly fun.
Mattie’s going to be rollin’ with her homies on this hot new princess ride on thingy.
Elby just about lost it when she realized that Santa really does read his mail, unlike her parents.
“I mean, really, how does this bearded fellow know me soooo well. He just gets it!!!! I think I love him.”