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Busted

this morning Jon took Elby to school so I could get a jump start on my writing day. While he was gone I did something I’m ashamed of: I downloaded an entire John Mayer album off of Itunes. Yes, I can’t stand the guy. I know I’ve stated my hatred for him here before; his comments about women, his ego, his bad attempts at stand-up comedy where he stated having nailed actresses. More than that, he’s a hack. But that voice. It just kind of kills me. I wish I liked much cooler music. I wish I liked music that matched the edge in my personality – and sometimes I do. But mostly, I like hooky, melodic, folksy, vocals forward music. And the sound of steel string guitar goes straight to my loins.

So Jon walks in the door and says, “Jesus, I cannot believe you bought a John Mayer CD behind my back. You are so busted.” For a minute I froze. How could he have known that I just downloaded it? He wasn’t even here and I was listening to it through my headphones. Then he says, “I found the evidence in the car! How could you?” And I remember that a couple of days ago, I bought another John Mayer CD at a used CD store. So yeah, now I own TWO John freaking uncool Mayer CD’s. But have you heard the song “Comfortable”? God it’s so beautiful. It kind of reminds me of another singer I love, Dan Fogelberg….AHHHH kill me now.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on October 29, 2008 5:44 pmUncategorized32 comments  

32 Comments

  1. Jenni said,

    Have you ever noticed that in some photos John Mayer looks talk and mysterious and dreamy, but in another shot he looks like a big goon? What’s up with that?

    | October 29, 2008 @ 6:04 pm

  2. Putty said,

    You disgust me. I can’t even believe we are related. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go listen to the nine Avril songs I own from itunes.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 6:07 pm

  3. Jamie said,

    I can confess here but will deny it if anyone asks me about it –
    BUT
    I, too, own John Mayer CD’s (ACK – more than one) – and I also know what a tool he is – but I LOVE his voice and most of his songs are just great.

    I will now go hang my head in shame (while listening to the tool)

    | October 29, 2008 @ 6:15 pm

  4. Julie said,

    Oh man, I've been lurking for years but I really need to speak up now.

    No. NOOOO. I like hooky/folksy as much as the next girl, but John Mayer? I'll admit his guitar skills are admirable, he had good taste in music, some of his songs are okay teenage make-out soundtracks…but he's such a DOUCHE.

    According to iTunes Genius, you may be interested in:
    Andrew Bird
    Sufjan Stevens
    Iron & Wine
    Bright Eyes
    Elbow
    The New Pornographers

    But I would recommend about 48 consecutive hours listening to The Smiths. Get the edge back.

    Full disclosure: I seem to own 2 John Mayer songs myself. One is a weird acoustic version of Radiohead's "Kid A" and the other is "Why Georgia."

    I know, I know. You are a famous author who is way cooler than I will ever be. But I sensed a tiny cry for help, so here it is, and I will now go back to lurker status. :)

    | October 29, 2008 @ 6:21 pm

  5. miko564 said,

    I don’t think I’ve ever posted here before, but I read often, and I know your secret shame. It’s worse though, I’m a guy, and an ex-Military cop…my friends think I’m tough.

    I have secrets, dark, dark secrets.

    I have an Air Supply song, a Dan Fogelberg song, and a Fergie song on my Ipod. I hate myself! What would the children think?!

    | October 29, 2008 @ 6:21 pm

  6. Janeabelle said,

    I used to LOVE John Mayer. I thought he was funny and quirky, but after all the press surrounding his relationships with Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Antison, I saw the light. This guy is a douche bag star-f*cker. He totally got off on the press and noteriety.

    However, that will not stop me from loving his music. He lyrics are amazing. The guitar… sigh. It’s sooo good.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 7:15 pm

  7. Aunt Becky said,

    Remember how we’re friends? BECAUSE WE’RE TOTALLY NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE.

    Now, I’m off to listen to my Britney CD and mark down the days ’til her new CD comes out.

    In all seriousness, or as seriously as I can muster when discussing John Mayer, I like one of his songs. There, I said it.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 7:17 pm

  8. LiteralDan said,

    I will join you in hating John Mayer, but not in buying his music. I’ll admit “Your Body is a Wonderland” is pretty good, but everything since just irritates the shit out of me.

    It’s gotten so I can’t walk into any chain stores without wearing earplugs or humming loudly the entire time.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 7:18 pm

  9. PDX Mama said,

    I laughed at loud at this one. I think I may fall into the same camp. He does have some good songs. And some equally annoying ones. He seemed all artistic and kind of cool for a while, what happened? He turned into a guy or something?

    I have been guilty of downloading bad music, I think as I get older, my taste goes down hill. I have a pussycat dolls song on my iPod. That song about “when I grow up, I want to have boobies” – because, it’s true :-)

    | October 29, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

  10. goodfather said,

    Doesn’t everyone hate John Mayer and secretly download all of his music from iTunes, and listen to it in the bathroom on their iPods with the door closed and the water running so no one else can possibly hear?

    | October 29, 2008 @ 7:31 pm

  11. nikki said,

    He’s totally douchey but I will admit to humming along with John Mayer…I am more ashamed that I have a husband who is WAY in to John Mayer’s music. Yes, his vagina is bigger than mine….

    Also, I know a girl who went to high school with John Mayer in Fairfield, CT. She said he was a big dork in high school, and he is probably compensating for that now by sleeping with vapid actresses.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 8:41 pm

  12. Stefanie said,

    Julie: I have heard of some of those other artists. I use pandora.com which exposes me to cool stuff but I cannot help the fact that Mayer’s voice does something to me. I hate myself for it.

    Nikki: this makes sense. We need to find more people who knew him in high school so we can even more fully analyse him! Get to work on that!

    | October 29, 2008 @ 8:47 pm

  13. Baby B said,

    “Say What You Need to Say”? *swoon*
    I have a couple of his songs on my ipod for sure. I think EVERYONE has at least one of his songs on their mp3 player, even though EVERYONE thinks he’s a jerk. Because he is.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 8:51 pm

  14. Immoral Matriarch said,

    Dude. He *is* cool. His voice is fucking amazing. I personally love him,and own all his records.

    If we’re lame than we can be lame together while swooning over his talent. My favorite song from his Vultures. The guitar riffs and his voice really, really shine through on that track.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 11:45 pm

  15. Immoral Matriarch said,

    Oh oh! And I can’t watch him sing. He moves his mouth like a duck in a porno.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 11:46 pm

  16. RYak said,

    Eh, half…hell..MOST of the singers we love are douchey. They just aren’t as papparazzi-yappy as Mayer. I’m all over “Gravity” and his live bluesy stuff.

    | October 29, 2008 @ 11:50 pm

  17. How to Party with an Infant said,

    So busted. At least you weren’t having sex with him.
    Have you tried Nick Drake–his voice is pretty dreamy.

    | October 30, 2008 @ 12:11 am

  18. MetroDad said,

    I think I’d rather find out that my wife was cheating on me than discover she was buying (multiple) John Mayer CDs behind my back!

    | October 30, 2008 @ 1:30 am

  19. Shannon said,

    he is a douche bag, but I will admit to liking some of his songs.

    While we are talking music. . .I am obsessed with Rachel Yamagata’s new album “Elephants”. Every time I listen to it (which is a bajillion times a day) I think to myself “Steph would love this album, I must tell her to buy it!” and then a kid cries and disrupts my train of thought. So check it out. It is my most favorite album ever.

    | October 30, 2008 @ 3:45 am

  20. Carolyn...Online said,

    It’s really better to just face it and admit that you have a problem.

    | October 30, 2008 @ 1:04 pm

  21. WA said,

    I do love his song “Gravity”. And judging by the comments, I’m obviously not the only one who thinks John Mayer’s name is interchangable with “douchebag”.

    Try James Morrisson. Not the dead-Doors one. The alive British one. Then you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror again.

    | October 30, 2008 @ 1:18 pm

  22. Gina said,

    Obviously, John Mayer is big douche. Now, that being said, I have seen him live in all his douche-y glory no less than three times and I must say he’s one of the most amazing musicians I’ve ever seen.

    | October 30, 2008 @ 3:48 pm

  23. Cat said,

    I knew it!

    | October 30, 2008 @ 5:21 pm

  24. CaraBee said,

    John Mayer I just can’t do. But Dan Fogelberg. Hello. Same Auld Lang Syne. Love it. It was my favorite song in 1982. It still makes me wistful.

    | October 30, 2008 @ 6:50 pm

  25. Rebecca said,

    Dunno about Mayer. Never listened to him But Dan Fogelberg – awesome! (oh and did someone mention Air Supply?)

    And now so you don’t think I’m totally lame – I like Radiohead too you know.

    | October 31, 2008 @ 8:28 pm

  26. Nanette said,

    Welcome to the dark side. 😉

    Despite his potential “doucheness,” he really is an awesome musician. He’s also an awesome performer live. (I’ve seen him probably 15+ times.) His upcoming concert at the Nokia Live Center will likely be my first post-baby concert – I MUST get out to see him!

    | November 1, 2008 @ 12:41 am

  27. courtney said,

    And that’s exactly why I try not to listen to too many celebrity interviews. I don’t want their asshole personalities to overshadow my like for their work! I love John Mayer’s songs.

    | November 3, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

  28. berryloon said,

    JM has always reminded me of Fogelberg and when I told someone they made me think I was totally nuts. THANK YOU!

    | November 3, 2008 @ 8:13 pm

  29. jeri said,

    We all have dark secrets that should be kept in the closet. He is such a tool and I wish that I didn’t like a few of his songs. That rally pisses me off that he swayed me, just a little. I have not downloaded any songs…yet!

    | November 12, 2008 @ 3:18 am

  30. RhoRho said,

    This is a hotbutton for me. All the other boys are just jealous of John because of that face, and Jennifer, and that he's a white, hot Jimi Hendrix!.
    And the girls who insist he isn't sexy are just gays (nothattheresanythingwrongwiththat.) Whatever, I think my taste in music is pretty cool but not as cool as all that Iron & Wine and Elbow stuff. Sooo alt cool.
    So don't be ashamed! Listen to what you dig! First album – Room for Squares – best one. & Love some Fogelberg, rest his soul, and my confession? ONJ's greatest hits.

    | November 12, 2008 @ 4:43 am

  31. RhoRho said,

    For sexy voice and accepted by hipandcool crowd, have u heard Ray LaMontagne (spelling)?

    | November 12, 2008 @ 4:44 am

  32. Anonymous said,

    I know this post is old, but I just found your blog…and MUST comment. See him live- you will be an instant fan. He might be a douche IRL, but the man is hella talented.

    | February 19, 2009 @ 3:00 am

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