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Your Questions Answered Friday

Hey readers,

I’ve always wanted to do a Dear Abby type column but more, like, hip and sort of in the real world of problems not like “Dear Abby, my sister-in-law won a scrapbooking contest and I was the one who taught her how to scrapbook in the first place. Do you think she owes me part of her prize (a $50 gift certificate to Michael’s Crafts and a monogramed placemat) or should I be happy that she thanked me?

Give me some real problems. Some embarrassing problems. And I will tell you what I think. Yes, I may be judgemental so why not ask anonymously? Some people may think, hey, it’s easy to sit back and judge other people…well I’m here to tell you, it’s not that it’s easy, I’m just really good at it. I think it’s high time to pat myself on the back for something I do well even if it comes naturally! So throw some situations at me and tomorrow I will answer a couple of good ones. You may also feel free to email them to me directly at babyonbored@gmail.com.

P.S. I like that someone called me Dear Crabby. It’s perfect. So go ahead and spill it. Dear Crabby is here to serve.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on August 7, 2008 9:05 pmUncategorized21 comments  

21 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    Dear Abby (as if that’s your real name):

    Um, I need help with a problem. I have an itch. Well, it burns too. Do you think I should have warned my BFF BEFORE I used her toliet? Is that just uncool of me?

    Love and kisses, your BFF

    | August 7, 2008 @ 9:28 pm

  2. Anonymous said,

    Dear “Abby” (yeah, right!)

    I recently found out that my 2 year old daughter is a bit of a hellion. In terms of punishment, should I smack her or just disown her?

    Which would be most effective?

    Thanks, Love and kisses, your mother

    | August 7, 2008 @ 9:31 pm

  3. Stefanie said,

    Okay, clearly some of you are not taking me seriously. I really want to help. So throw me a real problem and I will give it to you straight.

    | August 7, 2008 @ 9:33 pm

  4. Anonymous said,

    Dear Abby:

    My boss is an asshole, who talks incessantly about how many millions he has. It’s all about him. Egomaniacal, narcissistic. I have 6 years invested in this job. It pays very well and he is about to pay off all my bills in life. He pisses off easily. How do I put him in his place, get the upper hand so to speak without actually shooting him? I’m tired of kissing his butt.

    | August 7, 2008 @ 9:43 pm

  5. Catwoman said,

    Dear Abby,

    I’m really concerned that my second son won’t be as good looking as my first (think Danny Devito to Arnold Shwarzenegger’s twin, even though I never thought Arnold to be that good looking.)

    How can I stop being so shallow and just focus on enjoying the rest of my pregnancy?

    | August 7, 2008 @ 9:50 pm

  6. Anonymous said,

    Dear Abby,

    My brother-in-law is kind of an ass. He’s divorced and his mother (my mother-in-law) has been raising his 8-year-old daughter for him for the past 6 years (like, seriously, she stays there at least 5 nights out of the week).

    He got married in December to a woman who has a 4-year-old son from a previous relationship who HER mother has raised since he was an infant. Now that they’re married, my mother-in-law always has both kids all the time.

    It’s not just that she keeps them a lot. She supervises all of my niece’s homework, buys both kids’ school clothes, takes him to the doctor every time they’re sick, pays for their extracurricular activities (dance lessons, t-ball, etc…not to mention that she carts them back and forth to all that stuff). It’s not that my brother-in-law and his wife can’t afford this stuff (not to mention childcare), it’s just that they’re inconsiderate and lazy and apparently don’t mind putting people out.

    Anyway, I just found out that his new wife is pregnant. I think this is so irresponsible considering that they don’t take care of the kids they already have. Brother-in-law called my husband and told him about it, but I’m sure there’ll be some kind of big announcement at our family reunion this weekend.

    My question is – how am I supposed to act? I know the proper thing would be to just say congratulations and bite my tongue, but damn I don’t want to. My anger about this situation has been building for some time, considering that we have a one-year-old son who my in-laws never help with at all (because they always have brother-in-law’s kids).

    Am I justified in being upset about this? I know that I can’t control anyone’s decisions regarding family planning, but I’m just so angry right now that they actually planned to have another baby when they never have anything to do with the two children they already have. It just seems so irresponsible to me, and so unfair to my mother-in-law (who has expressed privately to me that she’s unhappy with the way my brother-in-law doesn’t take care of his daughter and stepson).

    I’m not really asking what to do about the situation, since there’s really nothing I CAN do, and blowing up at them will just create major family drama. But I guess I just want to know if you think I have a valid point, and if it makes sense for me to be upset about this. Am I being immature, or are they being selfish and short-sighted?

    | August 7, 2008 @ 10:10 pm

  7. Stacy said,

    Dear Crabby (just kidding!),

    My husband and I have been talking about trying to conceive another child (our son is 17 months old). I’m excited, but I also find myself thinking “How on earth will I ever love another baby as much as I love my first?”. I just feel like he’s so perfect, and I love him so much – how would I ever be able to feel the same way about another child?

    Is this normal? How do you feel about it as a mother of more than one?

    – Wanting but Wavering

    | August 7, 2008 @ 10:13 pm

  8. Anonymous said,

    Dear Abby,

    My 4 year old niece gets on my nerves. I want to like her, but she’s not just my kind of kid. I love her of course. My sister (her mother) is always suggesting that she come to spend the night at my house, and we have a couple of times. But she drives me nuts when she’s here. Am I bitch?

    | August 7, 2008 @ 10:15 pm

  9. Sleep Deprivation Ninja said,

    Dear Stefanie,

    I’m at a face-off with Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer and Bruce Willis.
    What should I do?

    | August 7, 2008 @ 10:22 pm

  10. Middle Aged woman said,

    Dear Abby,

    I have found a serious addiction. To blogging. No really. I post 7 days per week. I find myself unable to tear myself away from the computer. If I’m not checking my blog stats on Typepad, I’m “spying” on StatCounter. My Google reader is my best friend, and I always click through because, you can’t comment from the reader, and if you don’t comment, people don’t follow to your blog. I Twitter, because more people will see my blog. What am I going to do when I have to go back to work next month? I fear it will require self-control that I seriously lack.

    Whew! Good thing this is anonymous!

    Signed,

    Been Blog-ified

    | August 7, 2008 @ 10:24 pm

  11. Anonymous said,

    Ever since having the baby (10 months ago), sex has been really low on my priority list. My husband has been very understanding, but frankly between being “touched” out from always holding the baby, the residual discomfort from a 4th deg tear and feeling like a big, fat slob because I haven’t lost those last few baby pounds, I just don’t feel like it. We had a healthy sex life before and now it’s once or twice a month, maybe. Seriously, does it get better?

    | August 8, 2008 @ 12:27 am

  12. Rachel said,

    Dear Abby:

    I’ve tried to frame this question 5 times. I deleted each one because it was too long, too serious, etc. Here’s my 6th and final try. (Oh how I fear the wrath of the internets.)

    How do I get my incarcerated (for 2 years) sister to realize that her 4 year old daughter considers me to be the closest thing she has to a mother and when she is released in the Spring she had better figure out a way to “co-parent” with me (at least for a while) for the sake of her child even though she really wants to just scoop her up and smother her with kisses and go hide somewhere?

    | August 8, 2008 @ 12:37 am

  13. Aunt Becky said,

    How do I score some recreational narcotics without giving myself a serious injury.

    No, really.

    | August 8, 2008 @ 12:47 am

  14. Anonymous said,

    Dear Abby,

    I have a large family…there are 7kids total and I am the next to youngest at 42. We never all lived together as we were so far apart in age. I recently had a really embarrassing family thing happen. My second oldest sister has always preferred my younger brother to me and though I have accepted it, it has still been hard at times (she likes him more because they like to take their spouses and go out drinking when they visit each other’s coast). So, my almost 80 year old mom recently got pissed at me and she tells me once the spat was over that said sister was going to be in my state at the beach and that my two kids and I had been invited to go, but as we weren’t speaking she didn’t tell me.
    For a moment I was thrilled that my sister actually wanted to spend time with me and I was also pissed that my mother tried to keep it from me. So, I called my sister’s cell at the beach and asked if we could still come and she said yes but not till Thursday. So we went for a couple of days and when I got home, what I found out was that my sister was there for a family reunion, of her daughter and her kids and her hubby’s daughter and her kids. Hubby’s daughter and fam had to leave early. I was never actually invited down; I was invited as a ride for my f’n mother, who had decided not to go, but mommy dearest had not presented it to me that way. So, basically, I crashed the tail end of their family reunion unknowingly and I was the only family member not in the know about the reunion. Three other family members who I spoke to before I went and never bothered to explain the situation to me, elected to explain it all to me once I got home! At that point, there was fuck all I could do about it, other than to feel like shit!

    I apologized to my sister (though I was and still am really hurt that she really didn’t want to spend any time with me…I was just a possible taxi service) and had words with my other sister, who knew beforehand but didn’t tell me. I have cried and raged over this for three weeks now. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but yet I am still the dumbass in the situation!

    My entire family is getting together in October to celebrate my mother’s 80th b-day and now I dread it. The last reunion, two of my siblings and my mom picked at my parenting skills and my kids. So in light of that and the beach thing, I am dreading this party. The only good thing is that I had weight loss surgery in April and will look f’n good by October! But how do I handle my embarrassment about what happened and protect my feelings against outspoken family members?

    Thanks,
    Embarrassed on the Eastern Shore

    | August 8, 2008 @ 1:23 am

  15. Cheryl Lage said,

    Dear Crabby-
    After some simple math, I realized the magnitude of my monthly wine expenditures. How much is too much (not to drink per month, but to spend)?

    | August 8, 2008 @ 3:15 am

  16. Susan said,

    Dear Crabby,

    I get so pissed off when I see those Soy-Joy commercials. I am also deeply disturbed when I see the Activia commercial where the woman won’t get in the pool because she’s feeling a bit irregular. WTF? Is she going to shit in the pool? Do I need to up my rx for xanax?

    Seriously, there are some folks here who obviously need some help. Cool blog idea and best of luck to them…

    | August 8, 2008 @ 3:17 am

  17. Anonymous said,

    Dear Abby,

    My husband and I are expecting our first child. My problem is with the MIL…She never ever shuts up, every waking moment she is talking non stop and about the most random things. Now that she is going to be a grandmother she talks incessantly about my pregnancy and our future baby. She will say something like…”If you want to drink, you can have a glass of wine everyday, here let me look it up, I’m sure the book says it’s ok…(ME:Oh no, I don’t care to drink)I’m sure it’s fine, and you don’t have to listen to anyone, if you want to drink have a drink(ME:No, I…) One little drink isn’t going to hurt the baby.(Me:That’s fine, I’m not taking any chances, it really doesn’t…MY FACE GLAZES OVER AND I START TO HAVE CONVULSIONS JUST TO GET OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION) When I come back to reality my sister in law is telling me how she doesn’t like the names we picked so she is pulling her “aunt card” and vetoing them and MIL is telling us about all the unnecessary baby crap she has been buying since we got married.

    Now, I understand everyone has problems with their in-laws, my question is how do I get them to for the love of god shut the fuck up?

    | August 8, 2008 @ 4:15 am

  18. RhoRho said,

    To the last anon: F@!&ing MILS!!! Don't let her break you!
    My question: is the best way to bury the resentment re: the MIL to write a tell-all exposing how she put you through hell?
    Cheryl re: wine – call me.

    | August 8, 2008 @ 4:47 pm

  19. RhoRho said,

    that was my MIL, not anon's. f*&k.

    | August 8, 2008 @ 9:57 pm

  20. Anonymous said,

    My MIL is driving me crazy. She believes that everything her son and I have is actually hers, too. (we are married 17 years with not a pot to piss in when we got married, both professionals) Whenever we buy a new piece of furniture, or change something with our house, or buy a new car she says “Sooo you bought a new ______, that’s so great. You are so lucky. I’ve never had a new ______.” Recently she came to our house for dinner. She was wearing a charm bracelet. She said to my husband and me, “Oh, (Son), do you remember this braclet? This is the last thing you bought me before you got married.” (Insert the “Debby Downer” music)
    What I would love to know, Dear Crabby, is if you have the perfect comeback for a comment like that.
    Thanks!

    | August 9, 2008 @ 1:33 pm

  21. sesi said,

    thnks

    | December 22, 2008 @ 8:02 am

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