Sadie’s endoscopy went well. I know I was hoping for yeast. But that’s because I’m always hoping for concrete reasons, explanations grounded in medical certainty- basically a diagnosis I can hang my hat on and move on with my life – truthfully move on to another worry. But there was no yeast. My little babe, it turns out, also has a very beautifully shaped stomach (I’ll have to research if there is any need for internal stomach modeling work for infants). So you might think I’d be pulling my hair out right about now shrieking “What is wrong if not yeast? And who finished all the Vicidon I thought I had left over from my friend’s mom’s surgery last year? (oh me)” but I’m not. I’m good. I’m just happy that I don’t have to start her on another harsh medication. The doctor thinks that Sadie is just still suffering from a bit of food aversion (really bottle aversion) from when she did have a raging yeast infection.
One of you readers, Diane, suggested that I try probiotics – and even gave me a specific brand – which I ran out and bought (see, a lot of people feel bad giving advice for some reason when, shit, if I’m blogging this much about it, chances are I’m ready to try anything). I believe it’s working. Sade’s been taking more and more at her feedings and seems less unhappy after she eats.
Okay, so she’s developmentally behind, not on the charts for anything really, but she is growing. And she’s awfully cute. So, I’m going to relax. But that doesn’t mean I will stop constantly complaining – because complaining is almost like my calling card. I do it extremely well, possibly because I’ve been practicing since I was still in diapers. Complaining, if done right, can be fun, harmless and cathartic. In fact, I don’t get on well with Pollyannas. If you can’t find something to complain about, you aren’t trying hard enough. Maybe there are some who find it irritating to be around someone who complains a lot. I find it irritating to be around people who try to find the upside to every single fucking situation. Listen, I may be exaggerating a bit. I don’t constantly complain. I just like to find the flaws and point them out in what I think is an amusing way. On the flip side, I’m quite forgiving of a lot of things like bad service in a restaurant, long lines at the post office and pharmacists who won’t refill my Xanax because it’s two days too early. These things come with the territory of life. Puppet shows where the performers spend 20 minutes telling the kids they must remain quiet and seated at all times, bad movies, many of my neighbors, circuses in general, parades, contractors, my deadline, the fact that it’s tough to get a good bagel in LA these are things I never tire of complaining about.
But, even I’ll admit it’s tough to complain when you’ve got this going on at your house: