The last post of these was so fun to write that I figured why not purge my soul of more reasons I’ve refused a second date, relationship, sex or all three. I realize some of these are not superficial – but most of them did make me go from “totally into it” to “please never touch me again.”
P.S. some of these are the same person. Just so you don’t think I’m a huge hussy – although I am…
1. Owned a worn copy of “Obsessive Love: When it Hurts too Much to Let Go”
2. After about three weeks of dating he asked me to go with him to his therapist so I could give “my take” on his problems.
3. Didn’t drink coffee.
4. Owned more than one Bill Cosby type sweater.
5. Sandals with socks.
6. Vaguely smelled like a hamper.
7. A “morning after” very earnest serenade on the piano.
8. Actually said “I don’t really care for old people.”
9. Broke up with me on my voice mail. (I realize that’s someone breaking up with me but…I would have definitely broken up with him for that)
10. Gave me a 99 cent CD wrapper opener/slicer as a “gift.”
11. Referred to wine as “vino.”
12. Asian porn fixation.
13. Extremely D-list very vaguely famous guy took me to a restaurant frequented by real celebrities, promptly drank two bottles of wine and walked around shaking peoples’ hands as if everyone knew who he was. Also, I think he was wearing mascara.
14. When I told him I wasn’t ready to sleep with him yet, he suggested a blow job instead.
15. Got regular pedicures.
16. Used the word “tushy” and he didn’t have a child.
17. Wore a beret.
18. Favorite comedian? Gallagher.
19. Counted carbs.
20. Unsolicited, he let me know his sunglasses cost over two hundred dollars.