When I was young(er) and single, before I met my husband, I couldn’t maintain interest in a new guy for longer than it took Jell-O to set. I’d go on a few dates, think I was falling for the guy only to disregard him for a superficial reason. Of course at the time, these reasons didn’t seem superficial and actually, looking back, I can kind of see that I was probably right. Here is a definitely incomplete list of those reasons:
1. Too passionate about bowling.
2. Once wore those crazy multi-colored MC Hammer pants.
3. Called me a “special lady.”
4. Was a member of a “smoked fish of the month club.”
5. Drank gin
6. Three words: puka shell necklace
7. Collected weird knick knacks that took up every available surface in his apartment.
8. Swished wine around in his glass before sipping it.
9. Drank canned soda through a straw.
10. Wore chapstick.
12. Owned every Tom Cruise movie.
13. Loved the Starship song, “We Built This City.”
14. Used a “buy one entree get the second half off” coupon at a restaurant he took me to.
15. Favorite phrase? YUMMY!
17. Actually told me that the Holocaust happened but was probably very exaggerated.
18. Referred to himself as “gifted.”
19. Slept on a yoga mat on his floor because it was “better for his back.”
20. Didn’t care for Woody Allen.