Today’s post is entitled Random Thoughts Monday because I don’t have anything that cheerful to say. Sadie’s lost a few ounces and no matter how hard we try, I can’t get her to gain weight and it’s becoming a constant source of stress. But let’s cheer up and talk about other things – little things. And due to the randomness of today’s post, it will not be repeated on any subsequent Mondays. Because it’s random. Get it? Random.
1. Hootie and the Blowfish: they had the one song “Hold My Hand” remember? Well, it came on my satellite radio yesterday and for a brief moment, I couldn’t quite place it — and then–oh yeah, Hootie. It’s not a bad song. When exactly did they become the Dane Cook of music? We all hate Hootie but I can’t exactly remember why they’re such hacks. I’m a comedian so I know why Dane Cook’s success is so offensive -with his ridiculous hand gesture and over physicalized no joke making rants – but maybe because I’m not a musician, I don’t know why we all en mass decided to boot Hootie and his Blowfish crew out of our collective Ipods and stereos. Not that I’m going to ever listen to them. I’m just saying. Thoughts?
2. Sex And the City Movie: in a word: suckassery. I thought I would like it because I was one of those women who loved the series, but no, sorry, it was horrible. And what was with Jennifer Hudson’s acting? Is she a robot? She doesn’t look like a robot but I’ve never heard a real live person deliver lines as if a computer designed the voice and facial expressions to go along with the over the top dialogue. Carrie: You saved my life. Louise: You gave me Louise Vuitton. Me: Vomit.
3. The Baby Borrowers: did you see it? Good concept that has already jumped the shark because of how far they’re taking it. Young couples borrow babies? Sure, I’m with you so far. Young couples borrow toddlers? Okaay, still here. Young couples borrow teenagers? You lost me. By the time the young couples’ kids are teengers they’re not going to be young parents anymore. Young couples take care of old people? Now I want to punch the producers in the head. Not watching.
4. I’ve never ever ever dreamed of swimming with dolphins. How do people come up with this as one of their life’s major goals?
5. John Mayer…why? I know, I know, I too enjoy a few of his songs in spite of myself. But, the man is oozing women hating toxins all over the place. From his drunken tirade in the Laugh Factory where he claimed to have “fucked Jennifer Love Hewitt” to his constant vitriol about his famous exes on his blog, he is a one man band of gross. What part of that interests Jennifer Aniston?
6. Why is it impossible to buy a cool minivan? It’s like, as soon as you need a car that can cart a shitload of kids around, the car makers assume you’ve given up on having any semblance of personality whatsoever. We were forced to make our own brand of cool and it doesn’t involve bumper stickers. And yeah, the flames are magnetic. It’s a lease.