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Evolution vs. Creationism: We Have a Winner


Case closed.

********************************************************************************* “Oh my God! Have you seen Baby On Bored? That’s the blogger that compared her baby to an orangutan. Can you believe that? She obviously doesn’t love her child.”
“Well, maybe she thinks orangutans are really cute and she thinks her baby is cute but she happens to think they sort of look alike and she thought it would be humerous to point that out.”
“Nope. She just hates children. If she loved her child she would have a license plate frame that says Three Kids is Triple the Fun! or she’d write posts about how “crazy” and “chaotic” but absolutely joyful her life is. But she certainly wouldn’t write books that trash motherhood!”
“Hang on a minute. I kind of thought her books were funny. And I didn’t exactly get that she was trashing motherhood at all. In fact, I thought she seemed to love being a mom but just enjoys pointing out the occasional shitty parts and the ridiculousness of it.”
“No. Funny is a mug that says “Don’t bother me til I’ve had my coffee.” It’s not funny to make fun of being a mom.”
“I don’t agree. I like a little edge. Each to their own. Plus I hear she volunteers for the Peace Corp. and that she recently went to Uganda to try and cure AIDS. “
“I think that you’re going straight to hell.”
“Me?”
“Yes you. I bet you not only like those books but you’re voting for Obama too.”

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 16, 2008 9:57 pmUncategorized49 comments  

49 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    You are my favorite kind of evil!!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 12:59 am

  2. Susan@stopcallingmethat said,

    okay, okay, three glasses

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:02 am

  3. Susan@stopcallingmethat said,

    Sorry, dahling, but this is three whole comments from the same idiot. I’ve had three glasses of wine and can’t even make my own comment show up correctly.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:04 am

  4. Cheryl Lage said,

    Orangutans are adorable and ripe with hijinks-y promise. God- willing, my babies are chockful of the same.

    Thanks for being one of my favorite hijinks-y bloggers.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:16 am

  5. Rachael said,

    Hilarious!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:46 am

  6. Suzy said,

    OMG, what a HORRIBLE mother you are. I bet you drink during playdates, don’t you? I’m going to file a complaint with the ASCPA.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:54 am

  7. Christine said,

    Best. post. ever.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:59 am

  8. Cheryl said,

    Seriously… Some people! I LOVE your books. We read them to each other and laugh until we cry!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 2:56 am

  9. C. David Parsons said,

    THE BIGGER PICTURE IN THE DEBATE ON DARWINISM IS NOT INTELLIGENT DESIGN.

    The reason is elementary: the Discovery Institute and other ID proponents leave out the Triune God, Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Hence, Richard Dawkins can make the case for “aliens” seeding the earth.

    The Quest for Right, a series of 7 textbooks created for the public schools, represents the ultimate marriage between an in-depth knowledge of biblical phenomena and natural and physical sciences. The several volumes have accomplished that which, heretofore, was deemed impossible: to level the playing field between those who desire a return to physical science in the classroom and those who embrace the theory of evolution. The Quest for Right turns the tide by providing an authoritative and enlightening scientific explanation of natural phenomena which will ultimately dethrone the unprofitable Darwinian view.

    “I am amazed at the breadth of the investigation – scientific history, biblical studies, geology, biology, geography, astronomy, chemistry, paleontology, and so forth – and find the style of writing to be quite lucid and aimed clearly at a general, lay audience.” ? Mark Roberts, former Editor of Biblical Reference Books, Thomas Nelson Publishers.

    The Quest for Right series of books, based on physical science, the old science of cause and effect, has effectively dismantled the quantum additions to the true architecture of the atom. Gone are the nonexistent particles once thought to be complementary to the electron and proton (examples: neutrons, neutrinos, photons, mesons, quarks, Z’s, bosons, etc.) and a host of other pseudo particles.

    To the curious, scientists sought to explain Atomic theory by introducing fantastic particles that supposedly came tumbling out of the impact between two particles, when in fact, the supposed finds were simply particulate debris. There are only two elementary particles which make up the whole of the universe: the proton and electron. All other particles were added via quantum magic and mathematical elucidation in an attempt to explain earthly phenomena without God.

    Introducing the scheme of coincidence, which by definition, “is the systematic ploy of obstructionists who, in lieu of any divine intervention, state that any coincidental grouping or chance union of electrons and protons (and neutrons), regardless of the configuration, always produces a chemical element. This is the mischievous tenet of electron interpretation which states that all physical, chemical, and biological processes result from a change in the electron structure of the atom which, in turn, may be deciphered through the orderly application of mathematics, as outlined in quantum mechanics. A few of the supporting theories are: degrading stars, neutron stars, black holes, extraterrestrial water, antimatter, the absolute dating systems, and the big bang, the explosion of a singularity infinitely smaller than the dot of an “i” from which space, time, and the massive stellar bodies supposedly sprang into being.

    The Quest for Right is not only better at explaining natural phenomena, but also may be verified through testing. As a consequence, the material in the several volumes will not violate the so-called constitutional separation of church and state. Physical science, the old science of cause and effect, will have a long-term sustainability, replacing irresponsible doctrines based on whim. Teachers and students will rejoice in the simplicity of earthly phenomena when entertained by the new discipline.

    The Quest for Right. http://questforright.com

    | June 17, 2008 @ 3:06 am

  10. Jenée said,

    I take it that’s Mattie on the left and Sadie on the right? If Mattie hopes to squeeze into a sexy little onesie this summer, it’s time to introduce her to a Brazilian wax.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 4:45 am

  11. Stacy said,

    So I am the only one who’s all like “huh?” over the last comment?

    Anyway, Stephanie, you’re freaking hilarious and your kiddos are lucky to have such a cool mom. Boo to the haters!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 4:45 am

  12. Stacy said,

    I meant the “Quest for Right” comment, not the bikini wax one (which was hilarious, by the way).

    | June 17, 2008 @ 4:46 am

  13. Heather said,

    Stefanie, how many times have I told you NOT to post the conversations between the voices in your head?

    | June 17, 2008 @ 5:08 am

  14. Mike said,

    Damn you, David Parsons! I was half-way through typing out the exact same argument when I noticed you already beat me to the punch!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 5:11 am

  15. Frozen Star said,

    If I were American, I’d be voting for Obama. I guess I’m just evil that way. Does this mean I’m going to be a horrible mom, like you? 😉

    | June 17, 2008 @ 5:56 am

  16. help4newmoms said,

    LOL, How DO you come up with this stuff? Clearly a very special talent.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 11:26 am

  17. Amanda said,

    Um, I freaking LOVE this post and this blog.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 11:42 am

  18. Black Hockey Jesus said,

    C. David. You flippantly use words like “nonexistent”, “pseudo”, and
    “fantastic” in relation to quantum physics while you write in support of a God that made the world in 6 days and Jesus who did all kinds of crazy fantastic shit. What the fuck is the matter with you? Seriously. What the fuck is the matter with your head?

    What’s so threatening about a universe with a fantastic structure?

    Only 2 elementary particles? Yawwwwwn. You forgot fairy dust. The universe consists of fairy dust and the crushed up bone dust of various amphibians. Ask a child what the world is made of. That’s what this blog is about.

    I forgot 2 more particles the world is made of: my ass and your face. That’s hard science, C. David Parsons.

    Newton is washed up. He has been for 100 years and yet there’s still people like you flapping your gums about cause and effect. Your game is simple. You’re an auto mechanic. You try to speak over our heads so we all nod, give you $800, and praise Jesus.

    Bullshit. The Quest For Right my ass. It’s the Quest For The End Of The Imagination. Have you ever considered what would happen if everyone suddenly just agreed: Hey, C. David Parsons is right. 1 God. 2 Particles.

    Drumming fingers on my desk. Waiting. Twiddling thumbs. Yawning.

    It’s so boring, C. David Parsons. It’s got no soul. Your notion of Truth lacks soul. It’s clearly denoted by your uptight prose.

    This is a blog. It’s jokes. I can’t believe that you’re an actual person coming from a position of sincerity. You make me hug my children and weep.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 11:44 am

  19. Anonymous said,

    One of my TWIN GIRLS looked just like that picture at one stage…and she is stilled lovingly called “monkey” by our family. (They ARE cute!!)She is almost 12 now :)

    | June 17, 2008 @ 12:47 pm

  20. Kristi said,

    Definitely straight to hell. In a handbasket. 😉

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:18 pm

  21. Definitely NOT dadgonemad said,

    Speaking of twin girls, are those YOUR boobies in that picture?! WOW! I just got light-headed.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 1:48 pm

  22. Stefanie said,

    Dear NOT Dad Gone Mad (if that IS your real name), sadly, those are not my boobs. Those are the Jaguar’s breasts and they’re fake. She will proudly tell you so herself. Maybe when I sell enough copies of my book I will have fake boobies too. But probably not because I’m way too lazy.”

    BHJ: thanks for sticking up for me but didn’t it seem like that guy just has a whole thing already written (or cribbed) up and he just posts it on various lefty websites? I certainly didn’t think he took the time to write that on my account- although I’d be honored if he did. He probably has a Google Alert on Evolution.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

  23. Becky said,

    LOL, you definitely grasp that “holier than thou” tone just right! too funny!
    :) Becky
    http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

    | June 17, 2008 @ 2:55 pm

  24. ChicMama! said,

    Ah, posts like this are exactly why I read your blog. You were a voice of sanity after I had my first, two years ago.
    Every now and again I get a note from a first-time mother saying how wonderful everything is and all moments are filled with joy. Seriously, WTF? Thank god you’re out here.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 3:52 pm

  25. Lynsey said,

    The look on her face can’t believe you compared her either :)

    What a cutie!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 4:57 pm

  26. reneedesigns said,

    Awesome. Bubs thinks that baby orangutans are the cutest thing ever. I asked him if they were cuter than our Bunny and he said sometimes.

    | June 17, 2008 @ 5:44 pm

  27. Andee said,

    I loved this post. Thanks for the laughs!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 6:41 pm

  28. Tuesday Girl said,

    Whatever, look at those cute legs!

    | June 17, 2008 @ 6:56 pm

  29. Mom101 said,

    Admit it, you’re racist.

    | June 18, 2008 @ 2:38 am

  30. Mamique said,

    LMFAO

    ‘nuf said!

    | June 18, 2008 @ 4:55 am

  31. Miss Merry Sunshine said,

    Hilarious post :) You had a conversation with the same person that gasped when I called my baby Fatty Mcfatfat…she is such a superior bitch!

    | June 18, 2008 @ 4:44 pm

  32. Mommy Melee said,

    Your girls are precious.

    It’s funny, I clicked to read your blog just as my husband and I were talking about how socially retarded our toddler is.

    I wasn’t pausing to think about what an evil mom I was, but HAD I been I could have conveniently been able to say BUT AT LEAST I DIDN’T COMPARE HIM TO A MONKEY.

    | June 18, 2008 @ 5:44 pm

  33. A Mom Two Boys said,

    Since I’ve already been told, in no uncertain terms, that I’m going to hell, I look forward to seeing you and your ape children there. We’ll drink martinis and lounge lava side and make fun of all the tight-asses that have no sense of humor.

    P.S. Who did Jaguar’s boobs? I’m in the market for a good plastic surgeon. And not a creepy one like Dr. Ray (aka Dr. 90210).

    | June 18, 2008 @ 11:55 pm

  34. Inzaburbs said,

    I’m with you on this one.
    But that is because I am an evil mother who was only forced to have children because they wouldn’t let me take home an Orangutan from the zoo.

    | June 19, 2008 @ 3:52 am

  35. Mom o'Bean said,

    I just love the look on Sadie’s face, sort of resigned sarcasm. You know, my mom has a blog and all I got was this lousy monkey comparison.

    | June 19, 2008 @ 11:27 am

  36. Kim/2 Kids said,

    Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

    | June 19, 2008 @ 2:19 pm

  37. Natalie said,

    that was great! i do enjoy when babies are compared to orangutans. i mean there is nothing funnier than a side by side picture of the two.

    side note – 2 years ago i went to the zoo in houston and they had a baby orangutan. it was a 3 year old child if ever i saw one. it ran up and hit it’s mother and then ran away. it’s mom had a rag that she was dipping in water and then sucking on and the baby took it away and threw it out into the middle of the water hole. i’m telling you my own kids pulled exactly the same kind of mess. it was funny to watch how the mom dealt with the behavior…mostly ignoring it. ahh…at least my kids aren’t three anymore and couldn’t get any ideas.

    | June 19, 2008 @ 6:36 pm

  38. Backpacking Dad said,

    Where the hell have I been? I can’t believe I missed C. David Parsons showing up to auto-post a scrib about teaching Creationism.

    I love Creationists. I want to give them candy.

    | June 19, 2008 @ 8:50 pm

  39. Manic Mom said,

    I haven’t been by since your first book came out so it’s been a loooonnnng while, and here I see a photo showing you now have TWINS!!! They certainly are an adorable pair!! : ) Hee hee hee!

    Actually, I scrolled around and saw the real twins, and you’ve got gorgeous babies, all three those girlies!

    Got reacquainted with you from Jess Riley’s blogroll!

    | June 20, 2008 @ 4:12 am

  40. MadWoman said,

    Hahaha. Funny.

    I think the baby is rather cuter than the ape, but I’m happy to cuddle with either.

    | June 20, 2008 @ 5:18 am

  41. CP said,

    OMG I LOVE this! I keep coming back just to look at the photo. :)

    | June 20, 2008 @ 5:19 am

  42. Misfit Hausfrau said,

    Well, if you are going to Hell, then I will save you a seat in First Class.

    | June 20, 2008 @ 6:24 pm

  43. jaime said,

    you are too funny, stef. too funny.
    btw, I deleted my old blog and have a new one for internship for school……

    | June 20, 2008 @ 9:27 pm

  44. Amelia Sprout said,

    Uncanny, but not the best example I’ve ever seen. The real question is how well she clings to you when you’re just hanging around, or did we lose that one in evolution?

    | June 21, 2008 @ 12:52 am

  45. Shelley said,

    Orangutans, or any monkeys/apes for that matter, are ripe with comparisons to small children. On my own blog last month, I pictorially (is that a word? It should be) compared my five year-old to a baboon. Go ahead and look, tell me you can’t see the resemblance. Just scroll down a bit…you’ll see it.

    http://thehormonezone.blogspot.com/2008/05/yesterday-through-some-meteorological.html

    | June 21, 2008 @ 8:10 pm

  46. Trenches of Mommyhood said,

    Oooh I have a contender. My Baby looks scarily just like Curious George. I sooo need to post pics. I have no shame.

    | June 23, 2008 @ 6:59 pm

  47. Threeundertwo said,

    Oh great, the first time I visit your blog and I practically wet my pants laughing. Now I’ll have to read the whole thing. Cheers.

    | June 24, 2008 @ 3:27 am

  48. pisceshanna said,

    Hahahaha hello! Has anyone seen the aesthetic beauty of a newborn? Me and my mommy friends used to call our newbabies “elmer fudd.” preemies also have as much body hair as an orangutan too.

    | June 30, 2008 @ 3:04 pm

  49. Jenny, the Bloggess said,

    When I mentioned that my child would look great on a Hitler Youth Poster I got some similar feedback.

    “Hitler is bad, bloggess!”

    Really?!

    | June 30, 2008 @ 8:06 pm

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