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Archive for April, 2008

The Sadie Saga Continues

Sadie is on a hunger strike again. She screams when we try to feed her. She jerks her head frantically from side to side in an effort to get away from the torture device that is her formula. When she takes a couple of ounces, it’s such an empty victory because I know she won’t take more. When she drinks a little I really should try to see the bottle as half empty rather than half full – but stress has a way of taking over your emotions and completely blocking optimism.

I know there are bigger problems to have but I don’t think my body can tell the difference between “losing my house” stress and “baby won’t eat much” stress. It feels the same. Heart palpitations, panic, depression, obsession, tears, playing Annie Lennox sad songs over and over, eating rice…

I’m waiting for her GI to call me back and tell me what he thinks – in his professional $300 opinion. I just don’t want to end up going the feeding tube route. Please. I. just. don’t. It’s so weird because she did great for almost a week and now we’re back to fighting over every feeding and then waking her two times a night to eat just to make up for the calories she won’t take during the day.

The doctor had prescribed that appetite stimulant which I broke down and filled yesterday. The problem is, it’s a hormone and although there are no immediate problems being seen with the drug, how do I know she won’t get her period when she’s 8 and I’ll be kicking myself? And then of course, when I call the doctor and tell him she has boobs that totally fill out her tube top at 7, he’ll blame the chicken we eat. “It contains a lot of hormones, that chicken. Much more than the hormones she took as a baby. Please don’t sue me.”

Matilda on the other end of the spectrum eats like she just finished a season competing on Survivor at every meal. I swear in a few days she’ll be going to the fridge and pouring herself a tumbler of formula on her own. She’s huge. So there’s that.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 14, 2008 6:44 pmUncategorized36 comments  

Q & A with Jen Singer

Happy Sunday everyone,

Us moms have to stick together right? So in solidaridy to motherhood and writers I bring you
Jen Singer, author of the new book You’re a Good Mom…And Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either: 14 Secrets for Finding Happiness Between Super Mom and Slacker Mom offers secrets for raise perfectly good kids in that sweet spot between flash cards at breakfast and “donuts for dinner, kids!”

This book is yet another great reminder that we are all too hard on ourselves when it comes to this nonstop guilt trip. I personally don’t have time to be perfect anymore (seriously, I used to be an AMAZING parent – you would have been sooo jealous of my mad skillz) with the twins and all so this book hits home for me. Here’s a little Q & A with Jen about her new book.

How did motherhood get to be so competitive?

It started with the very first Baby on Board sticker, most likely stuck on a 1985 Volvo. Since then, our society went child centric – and a little crazy, too. We’ve raised the motherhood bar so impossibly high, we can’t reach it. We drive our kids to not one, not two, but three activities and sports in a week – sometimes in a day. We use flash cards at stop lights and play music for our kids in utero. (Have you ever tried to listen to music underwater? It sounds all wrong.)

That’s why we all feel like slacker moms, right? We can’t keep up.

And then we give up, and eventually, we’re serving donuts for dinner and letting our kids watch Desperate Housewives, because it’s easier than sending them to bed. But that’s bad for our kids, and trying to be a Super Mom is bad for us. There’s a sweet spot in between where you can raise good kids without losing yourself.

So how can moms find that in between spot?

The first secret to finding happiness in 21st century motherhood is to realize that Super Mom is faking it and Slacker Mom isn’t as cool as she appears to be. The town über mom probably only gets to put her feet up at the gynecologist’s office. The rest of the time, she’s frantically trying to make perfect kids in her perfect house. She’s exhausted and her kids are, too.
The cool mom, on the other hand, has no idea what her kids are up to while she sucks down Diet Cokes and watches like-minded women on Moment of Truth. And now that there are web sites where kids as young as eight can build a virtual bimbo, breast implants and all, that’s pretty darn scary.

But what if you want to do right by your kids? Don’t you have to sign them up for lots of activities just to keep up with everyone else?

Here’s one of my tips: Don’t be a frequent flyer. In other words, you don’t have to fill out all those flyers for karate and drama camp and math enrichment just because they come home with your kids. Pick one or two activities that your children are excited about, and sign up for those. And – I know this one is hard in the age of travel sports – let your kids play one sport per season, especially if they’re under 10. It’ll be easier on them and on the mileage of your mini-van.

What if all the other moms are doing it?

Be a rebel mom. I know it’s hard to be the only mother who puts her foot down and doesn’t let her kid watch The Simpsons or play Halo. These days, it’s also much harder to shield our kids from age inappropriate media because there’s so much of it out there. But it pains me that even second graders watch CSI, which has gruesome crime scenes that even make grown-ups like me flinch. It’s more work to be your kids’ filter nowadays, but it’s also more important than ever to protect them from things they’re not ready for because there’s so much of it out there.

What one tip would you give moms who are trying to find happiness?

Use triage. Pick out only those things that are truly important to you and your family, and aim for those. Take volunteering jobs that allow you to see your kids, like being a Cub Scouts den leader or escorting on the class trip. Build in playtime to your calendar – for the kids and for you. Move the computer into the family room so you can see what your kids are doing online. Then let everything that’s less important go. Really, do you have to bake cupcakes for your child’s birthday celebration at school when the bakery will do that for you?

Do you think you’re a good mom?

It depends on the day! When my kids were toddlers, I used to feel guilty for folding laundry instead of entertaining them, even though I was spending upwards of 100 hours a week with them as a full-time at-home mom. I thought I had to constantly create teachable moments in order to prepare them for the future. But I really needed to teach them independence and self sufficiency. I’m not going to be there to help them pick out lunch or manage homework at college, after all. A good mom gets her kids ready for life on their own – and prepares herself for life without her kids.

I read her book and it really is a fun, easy read (with much less swearing than my book) .

Check out Jen’s blog here!

Go to Amazon and pick it up along with my book. I mean, you know, if you don’t already have it. And if you do have it…would it kill you to give it a nice review on Amazon? I heart reviews (good ones not crazy “she’s a psycho mom” ones. But, I leave that to your discretion.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 13, 2008 7:12 pmUncategorized7 comments  

Annoucing the winners!

First off, thank you ALL for caring about my little bean and worrying about her. Sometimes I truly feel that my cyber friends know more about our trials and tribulations with worrying about the little ones. But, I did have very good news at that GI appointment. Sadie went from 7 lbs. 14oz the Friday before to 8 lbs. 9 oz by Wednesday! That’s about 2 oz a day!!! She’s been keeping up her eating although we have to keep on her about it constantly.

So congrats to:

Mommymae, Babynicole77 and Shannon (who emailed me privately but still won). Will Mommymae (I can’t get to your blog) and Babynicole77 please email me your address and name and I will gladly send you your prizes!

And, if any of my readers are in the LA area, I’m doing a reading and signing of Naptime at the Barnes and Noble Encino (Ventura and Havenhurst) tomorrow (Sat.) at 2 p.m.

I will have a full report on whether or not Sadie keeps her gaining up when I see the GI again in about a week. If she hasn’t kept it up she gets medicated so keep your nipples crossed for her.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 11, 2008 6:00 pmUncategorized15 comments  

It’s Time To Play Guess My Weight

So yesterday Sadie went to see the OT (occupational therapist) who saw what I saw which is that she has a messed up mouth grip – that’s the technical term for it. Her latch is for shizzle. Meanwhile Sadie continues to drink up to 20 oz of formula a day since Friday. Today Sadie went to the Gastroenterologist (who doesn’t take Blue Cross, by the way) and it was determined that she’s doing well and may need just an appetite stimulant. The appetite stimulant is a hormone like progesterone, I was told so, of course, I asked if it would prevent pregnancy – because who doesn’t enjoy a sexually active four-month-old joke? Here’s the fun part for you: Friday, Sadie weighed 7 lbs. 14 oz. guess how much she weighed today. Whoever is closest without going over gets an autographed copy of my book (hey, it’s that or a used copy of the About a Boy soundtrack – you decide). I will run this contest until Friday and pick a winner.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 10, 2008 12:11 amUncategorized69 comments  

Three Words You Don’t Want To Hear…

I took Sadie to the pediatrician on Friday, earlier than I had planned because the food intake was getting more and more pathetic. When she was weighed, I was disheartened to see that she was still under eight pounds. 7 lb 14 oz to be exact. We discussed the different issues that could be causing her painfully slow weight gain (although it is a gain –albeit a small one). I explained that I think her suck is all wrong – it used to be cute to hear her little quick noisy pulls at the bottle but now I realize that it was because she wasn’t getting the hang of it like her sister. My doctor agreed but said that that although he could rule out most major organ problems because he’d done a complete blood work up on her, he still needed to figure out exactlywhat the problem was immediately and fix it because my little Sadie has “failure to thrive.” Don’t Google it.

Tomorrow afternoon she has an appointment with an occupational therapist and today I should be getting a referral to a gastroenterologist. After that, he’d like her to see a neurologist. I guess after four months a baby should have the hang of coordinating their suck swallow technique or it could mean there’s a deeper issue. Or not.

But here’s the good news. Hours after overhearing the doctor talking trash about her, Sadie decided to prove everyone wrong by guzzling formula like it was her career. She sucked down six ounces plus two more for good measure from the time we got home and the next day took 20 which is way up from what she had been taking on a good day. Yesterday, my little hero took 20 again. I think she heard the word neurologist and was like, “oh no you di’int! I ain’t even trying to hear that, mama!”And then she gave us like a hundred gummy smiles over the weekend. I didn’t even have to take my normal amount of Xanax.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 7, 2008 2:39 pmUncategorized29 comments  


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