I know I may seem privileged somehow by having full time help currently. Trust me, it’s not because we have too much money and need someone to help take a lot of it off of our hands every week. “I mean, gosh, where should we store all this extra cash? It’s such a nuisance.” Right now, it’s simply and pathetically a matter of sanity. Possibly in a year, I won’t need someone with me all day but for now, with not a lot of sleep being had at night and two parents working, we wouldn’t survive without the hours of relief we get from Liz. I don’t like to call her “my nanny” because it sounds so crass. I introduce her as “The Bizzotch Who’s Watching My Shorties” and believe me, this woman is a Godsend! But, and you know me, there are always a dozen disclaimers -I know I’m lucky to have help- lots of people do it alone- some people are happy to have a babysitter once in awhile -I have to say, it’s sometimes weird having someone in my house everyday taking care of my babies. And when I’m feeling a little insecure (everyday?) I wonder if she’s thinking any judgemental thoughts about me like:
1. Is taking a nap and checking her email a thousand times a day really productive? Would it kill her to clean the bathroom?
2. These babies think I’m their mama! And I love it.
3. No wonder these babies are sick a lot. The woman owns no Clorox Wipes.
4. Post partum depression? That’s nothing becoming a Jehovah’s Witness wouldn’t solve. But I don’t want to bring it up…yet.
5. Hey, I’m tired too, but I manage to work with your twins all day and still cook a decent meal for my family. (I actually know that she rarely cooks at home but yet I feel she still might think this – hence me being medicated)
6. Really? A Happy Meal for Elby again?
7. Does she have an allergy to vacuuming?
8. Okay, today is for sure my last day.
9. Colic my ass, her babies just miss me at night.
10. This lady goes grocery shopping everyday and yet, it seems like there’s only beer in the house.
11. I can’t believe this lady TiVo’s the Janet Dickenson Modeling Agency.
12. I quit.
Tune in Monday when I will post a chapter from my book. Are you so excited?