Did I say new pictures? I meant nude pictures.
My daughter is auditioning for America’s Next Top Model. I told her that Tyra is not big on tattoos and that the scuba glasses are so 1985 but she told me, “I have my own look, mama. I don’t listen to the haters.”
Here are the new ones. They still have that new baby smell even though they’re almost two months old. Although their corrected age is like 3 weeks. I don’t really get the math that’s used for that. Some people count from when they’re home from the NICU and some people count from their due date and some just count from when they were born.
Sadie is about six pounds and Matilda is coming up on nine if she’s not nine already.
So lest you think I have this whole three kids thing completely under control; yesterday, after listening to Mattie scream for 90 minutes straight and during the Superbowl when the Giants are my favorite team, I seriously thought maybe she needed a time out. At least maybe a chance to cry in another room so it wouldn’t be so piercing. I started to slide her bassinett down the hall but the damn thing wouldn’t get through the doorway because it has a wider stance than Senator Larry Craig. Everyone was crying at once and not being able to do a simple thing like move it through the door put me right over the edge. I kicked over the bassinett in frustration(obviously the baby wasn’t in it). My poor husband came running in, took the baby from my arms and told me to go to my room where I cried it out for ten minutes. Yeah, I’m the one who got a time out.
Do they have wireless Internet in the psych ward?