I don’t want to be left behind on the “Things I’m Thankful For” track. I mean, I am definitely thankful for stuff so let me just think of some good things that may normally have been clouded by the ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF STRESS I’M UNDER.
1. I ate a Lean Pocket this afternoon and didn’t burn all the skin off of the inside of my mouth. First time!
2. My daughter’s Hokey Pokey Elmo has finally run out of batteries.
3. There are no more strange men traipsing in and out of my bathroom (construction gets ooooold after awhile).
4. That Jon and I have Tom Brady and the Patriots defense on our fantasy football team.
5. The existance of banana pudding. Or any pudding. Tapioca, chocolate, butterscotch – I give thanks for all of you, Pudding!
6. Sweet Dulcolax.
7. That my husband had the good sense to marry me.
8. My daughter’s dancing skills and spot on Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men impression.
9. Real Housewives of Orange County – particularly Vicki who in my estimation is batshit crazy and the only reason to watch!
10. That the Lifetime Movie Network sees fit to run terrible docudramas 24/7!
11. Augusten Burroughs, Jack Handy, The Office, my husband, Cynthia Heimel, The Lazlo Letters and all things that make me laugh.
12. The possibility of my babies being home for Christmas.