Archive for November, 2007

Porn Star or My Little Pony

Still here. That’s a good thing for the babies but a bit boring for me. And really, after all the crying and anxiety, isn’t it all about me and my need to be entertained and distracted? And what about your need as a reader to not be depressed by reading my blog but to feel uplifted and enlightened? To learn a little bit about yourselves. To rectify this, I put my writer skillz to work and made up a fun quiz to see what kind of rude sickos are reading my blog.

Okay Mommas and Papas and street walkers who accidentally clicked on this site because they were tanked on Mad Dog and googled porn stars, are you a good parent or are you a sex addict? Test yourself by seeing whether you can differentiate between famous porn stars or the cherished figurines from the adorable My Little Pony line. Mark ’em down, check below to see if you’re right and then take a shower. You’ll need it when you figure out where you priorities obviously lie. I’m not going to insult you with a scoring system because if I find out you got too many wrong, I don’t want the responsibility of having to turn you and the care of your children and possibly your husband over to Social Services. At this point, take the test at your own risk.

1. Pinky Pie
2. Krystal Steal
3. Sydney Moon
4. Rosey Posey
5. Sweet Berry
6. Sophie Sweet
7. Trinity
8. Minty
9. Ashley Blue
10. Blue Belle
11. Cynara Fox
12. Sunshimmer
13. Kimono
14. Stormy

1. MLP
2. PS
3. PS
4. MLP
5. MLP
6. PS
7. PS
8. MLP
9. PS
10. MLP
11. PS
12. MLP
13. MLP
14. PS

How’d you do? Harder than you thought, huh?
On a serious note: your comments and kindness have blown me away and I’m hanging in here as best I can. I know it will all be okay. With the help of cupcakes and Pinkberry. Sure, it’s made from flavored finely shaved sawdust but it just tastes so dang delicious. And it’s so close to this hospital it’s almost tough NOT to ask people to get their ass over to Bare Naked Yogurt (the Pink Berry ripoff down the street) and grab me a medium with kiwi, strawberry and walnuts (the girls love walnuts). So if you’re reading this and you have a heart go there and get me one STAT. Encino Tarzana Hospital, baby!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on November 18, 2007 7:29 amUncategorized15 comments  

Still Knocked Up…So Far

So I get the next steroid shot in an hour and my daily dose of sweet Ambien. Last night I only slept for two hours. I know that seems crazy seeing as how hospitals are known for their peacefulness and it’s so easy to find a comfortable position with monitors all over your body but trust me, it was actually quite challenging.

Thank you everyone for all the positive and nice comments you’ve left for me. It really does make it easier to know that people care and are pulling for you when you’re stuck in a room isolated except for the ANTM marathon that was on all day.

More tomorrow.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on November 17, 2007 4:55 amUncategorized12 comments  

So Will the Hospital Food Make These Babies Grow?

So, in case you were looking for an update on my situation which everyone said would be FINE, it’s not so fine. I’m in the hospital and it’s looking like I’m going to be having babies much sooner than expected. Like maybe in 48 hours.

I went to see the perinatalogist today 3 1/2 weeks after that last visit where he said the baby was too small. Well, baby B only gained 8 oz in all that time. It appears that my placenta is too small and not allowing blood to flow adequately to the baby. I was sent straight to the hospital DO NOT PASS GO. My littlest girl is only 2 pounds 4 oz and the bigger baby is 3 pounds and a couple of oz. I’m getting a steroid shot tonight and another one in 24 hours and I will remain in the hospital until the babies are delivered. It could be 48 hours or 12 days depending on how they do. I’m pretty scared to be honest. Really fucking scared. But I’m in good hands. I have an amazing OB, a rock of a husband and my gorgeous little Elby waiting for me at home.

I have been reassured by my doctor that babies are born at 32 weeks all the time and still do well although they will both be spending a long time in the NICU. I’d be crying even more if I weren’t so damn tired and if Grey’s Anatomy weren’t on. Although, if you ask me, Grey’s Anatomy has jumped the shark big time. First of all, how in the world is George getting so much pussy? And Alex – not so much in the pussy department. I’m so sick of Meredith and her family problems I could puke. I just wish that Patrick Dempsey would break up with her already.

Hey, my Ambien is here. Things are looking up.

I’ll update everyone tomorrow. I’ll give you more of the ugly details and the super pretty ones.

Luckily the hospital has wireless Internet. So there’s that.

4 a.m. update: Ambien is not a wonder drug and I’m awake and obsessing and that is so not fun while you’re in a hospital room alone with only a tv tuned to an infomercial that I can’t turn off to keep me company. (Engineering will be on it tomorrow but for now I must watch a show abut The Hydrosurge – a dog grooming tool – in silence)

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on November 16, 2007 5:23 amUncategorized29 comments  

Twin Pregnancy Is Not Dignified

So in one week from today I will see if the babies are growing well enough. And, of course, I will keep you posted. For right now, I’m experiencing the normal 8th month pregnancy indignities; peeing when I sneeze, waddling, and a hemmie the size of Manhattan. You’re welcome for the visual.

Sadly, I realize this is the easy part. Having one child tends to make a person more realistic about the first few months of the next new baby let alone next two babies. I’m just trying to enjoy my final weeks with my daughter being my one and only. Sometimes I just look at her and want to cry that she’ll no longer be the center of the universe. Damn it, she deserves to be. But, then again, she’s got school and her little friends and her Hello Kitty backpack. The chick has her own little world going on. I mean, she’s about to be three-years-old after all. She’s probably skipped out of preschool and is applying for emancipated minor status as I ignorantly write this.

So no other twins news. Sorry. I’m off to drink a Carnation Instant Breakfast drink.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on November 8, 2007 5:29 pmUncategorized13 comments  

It’s Embarrassing But the Belly is Posted

I’m thirty + weeks and counting down. Mostly I’m concentrating on making these babies grow. Grow babies grow! I cannot tell you how awful it is when people constantly tell me how small I look (in the belly). They ask, “how far along are you?” and before I even say I’m having twins (which I’ve pretty much stopped doing) I tell them the weeks and they look at me like they’re horrified. But really, I think soon the smaller babe will just start pulling nutrients out of my ass. A girl can dream right? I am going to admit something to you guys (as if you couldn’t tell how neurotic I am anyway). You know how I post about being scared of getting weighed at the doctor? Obviously this weight issue goes way back to junior high school when I decided I was fat despite the fact that I was perfectly normal with a curvy Jewish rear end that I deemed unacceptable. Unhealthy food and eating disorder issues ensued. I don’t need to tell any of my female readers that those issues had way more to do with many other issues having nothing to do with weight and everything to do with lack of control over the rest of my life. Those issues have been under control since I was in my early twenties. But, having someone actively monitoring my weight really brings the old obsession right up to the forefront. Don’t get me wrong, I eat a ton, and I’m taking care of these girls like a crazy protective mama already – it just comes out in my worry about getting weighed. Full disclosure: I don’t own a scale so I weighed myself at Bed, Bath and Beyond so that I wouldn’t be surprised at my appointment this morning. Yes, that’s completely over the top redonkulous and not my proudest moment. I know some of you who don’t have this issue will read this and find it self indulgant and strange but it feels real to me. Plus, I’m pretty hormonal so…cut me some slack.
I’m feeling a lot better about the disparate weight of the babies and I’m downing a Carnation Instant Breakfast drink every morning. They seems to like that. Especially the chocolate flavor.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on November 2, 2007 4:07 pmUncategorized23 comments  


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