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Please Help me Welcome my Guest Blogger Britney Spears!

Oh ma Gawd, Hi Y’all. It’s me Brit Brit. Puleese don’t tell anybody that AH am blawging on my BFF Stefanie’s blog today. I don’t need everybody and more everybody like all up in my bizness and all. Stef let me come on here today because ah reeeally wanted to tell all ma mama friends (in case you missed ma letter of truth) that ah am doing FINE!

Why can’t ah make people see that? It’s like the second they see me with ma gold razor chopping up fine lines of Oxycontin they think I’m crazy as a loon (swallowin’ it whole is so May and it’s June now. I mean maybe not today but tomorrow. GOD why is everyone always taking me to task for small things like mistaking the last day of may for June or trying to start a knife fight in the cafeteria at Promises? It’s like…everyone is just out to get me…LOL :P)

Anyway y’all, I just really wanted to say that I’m so happy for the blessings ah have in ma life. Like for instance my little sister Hayley. Wait up – oh my GAWD I get so confused. Hayley is Hillary Duff’s sister. I think mine is called Jamie or Lynn or Jamie Lynn or Lynn Jamie and I think she has a show of her own! You go girl! Or that might be Hillary’s sister. But who cares? She’s so rad cuz she’s related to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just so honored to be here on a Mommy Blog cause guess what y’all? I’m a momma! Times two! They may not be in ma custody but them boo boos are in my heart –as well as Kevin’s videos. But Kev will always have a special place in ma heart same as Justin, Jason, Howie Day, and that latest skanky dude you may have seen me in pictures with. Oh and that one guy (or guys) in the Spider Man costume I made sweet sweet love to in the bathroom at Hyde the other night. They are all awesome daddies to ma babies.

So that’s it. Just wanted to check in and tell all my fans how great I’m doing despite horrible rumors to the contrary. Do NOT believe everything you read about me or hear. Like I did not, under any circumstances spray Lindsay Lohan in the face with a bottle of Raid at Skybar around 4 a.m. the other night before I was carried out in a puddle of my own sick. It was Aqua Net. That is soooooo different. And ah wasn’t passed out face down in an order of Macho Nachos at Del Taco a week ago. I was just having a tiny nap before checking in with ma parole officer. SO IT’S ALL GOOD.

So let me give a shout out to Dooce for letting me guest here and get the word out.

I mean for ma money, Dooce is the best there is!!!!!!! I love her. I’m going to link to her on my website. Oh wait, this blog is someone named Stefanie. Oh well. Thanks anyway.

Love and xxxxoooooooooooooxxxxooo

Brit

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 1, 2007 3:12 amUncategorized12 comments  

12 Comments

  1. dana said,

    I can’t stop laughing. You hit the blonde on the head with this one!

    | June 1, 2007 @ 4:02 pm

  2. Britneyz #1 Fan 4 LIFE!! said,

    OMG! Britz is on ur blog! I LOVE U BRITNEY DON’T LISTEN TO THE HATERZ THEY’RE JUST JEALOUS!!11!!!

    lol

    | June 1, 2007 @ 4:38 pm

  3. jennster said,

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!! britney never told me she was doing this! she always told me she couldn’t type! LYING WHORE!

    | June 1, 2007 @ 5:22 pm

  4. Anonymous said,

    Hi-larious! You are my favorite blogger!

    | June 1, 2007 @ 8:29 pm

  5. Christine said,

    THAT was one of the funniest things I have EVER read.

    | June 1, 2007 @ 9:27 pm

  6. L.A. Daddy said,

    Thanks, Stef. Diet Coke through the nose hurts like a bitch!

    Grr.

    Well, it wouldn’t have been so bad if I weren’t chewing on a Mentos, too… but that’s another story.

    | June 1, 2007 @ 10:54 pm

  7. Suburban Oblivion said,

    Great post!!!!!!!!

    You know, I made a huge mistake by actually clicking through to her site and reading that letter. Cripes..did she learn nothing in rehab?? She denies having an alcohol problem, she thinks there is nothing wrong with going out and partying when she’s got kids at home. Wtf?

    | June 2, 2007 @ 4:59 am

  8. gmcountrymama said,

    I love you Britney! And I loved when you shaved your head. Nobody paid that much attention to me when I did the same thing. YOU ARE RADICAL!XOXOXO

    | June 2, 2007 @ 7:35 pm

  9. In the Trenches of Mommyhood said,

    That was a frickin riot! But I really do feel bad for those 2 little “boos” of hers…

    | June 4, 2007 @ 1:18 am

  10. Domestic Slackstress said,

    Hey – thanks for the link. Nice to hang with you in the Hills last night. Doesn’t that sound snobby. Well, I am a snobby bitch most of the time. Why not admit it. Shit, one of my offspring just woke up pissed. Takes after me. Gotta go.

    | June 4, 2007 @ 5:57 am

  11. Catwoman said,

    Yeah, thanks so much for making me read the “real” letter on her site. Yeah, I know that if I get a divorce after I have my second baby, I’m totally going to go around panty-less partying with great influences like Paris and getting my head shaved.

    Because that’s what 25 year-old do.
    Suuuuuure!

    Great letter though! Although, I think you’re funnier than Dooce, so I’d kick Britney’s ass for saying that to you. :)

    | June 4, 2007 @ 4:15 pm

  12. surcie said,

    That li’l Britney, God love her. So articulate.

    If you could write in the voice of a raspy, chain-smoking cokehead, you could channel Lohan!

    | June 7, 2007 @ 8:02 pm

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