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Archive for June, 2007

Top 10 Advantages To Paris Being Back In The Bighouse

TOP 10 ADVANTAGES TO PARIS BEING BACK IN THE BIG HOUSE!
10. More quality time with her favorite person: Paris!
9. Finally able to really sit down and get through that advanced Dr. Seuss novel she’s been trying to read.
8. Lots more time to really perfect her smoking.
7. Learning to make a shiv out of a plastic fork and an old empty bic pen could come in handy during her next altercation with Lindsay Lohan.
6. She’ll actually have something to put on a resume! Prison Inmate!
5. An hour of physical activity a day is more than she’s probably had in years!
4. Providing inspiration for her follow up CD: Dance Party at Club Fed!
3. Gray is the new Black!
2. Just the right amount of time for that pesky yeast infection to actually clear up for good.
1. IT MAKES ME LAUGH!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 11, 2007 8:51 pmUncategorized7 comments  

TOP TEN TOTALLY AWESOME THINGS ABOUT PARIS BEING OUT OF THE POKEY

TOP 10 TOTALLY AWESOMEST THINGS ABOUT PARIS BEING OUT OF THE POKEY:

10. Due to her hunger strike, I better she looks even skinnier! How awesome is that?

9. Her upcoming novel she wrote in prison Behind Bars: One woman’s struggle to help young girls understand the risks of driving drunk, driving on a suspended license and being a total whore bag. Risks that include fame, money, special treatment and weight loss! I smell a best seller.

8. She won’t have to miss Lindsay’s big post rehab bash in Vegas!

7. She gets to wear that rad anklet which will definitely catch on with the young girls who read US Weekly.

6. More time to get back to doing nothing!

5. Post prison party in her pokey! That’s hot!

4. More time to get the restraining order from her cellmate, Big Lutrice, who has sworn to seek early release and “make you my wife, Beautiful Miss Paris!”

3. She and Martha Stewart can become more than just pen pals.

2. The next time she does Ecstasy it will be that much more intense after not doing it for five whole days!

1. She’ll be back crashing cars and making sex videos in time for this weekend!

and bonus:

Five days was long enough to get the results of her state paid for full STD panel!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 7, 2007 9:03 pmUncategorized13 comments  

Blogger and Cheese and Booze Oh My

How sad is it that the highlight of my evenings these days is cheese? Don’t answer that. Thank God the other night I was given the opportunity to eat cheese at another locale – the LA Blogger’s party – hosted by L.A. Daddy. I was whisked there in style by my friend Kim from House of Prince who is honestly one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. That is if you meet her, which you probably won’t, which sucks for you. As I’ve mentioned, there was cheese and these little bagel pizza bites and a fruit salad that was so good I almost needed to be hospitalized from eating too much. I forgot who made it but, damn, I think you’ve found your calling, Fruit Lady!

So, my favorite part of the night was hanging out with Marsha from Sweatpantsmom reminiscing about the things that made the seventies so great: Corkies, Dittos, growing up in LA where you can recognize your very own street in movies and whether or not cocaine is still relevant and patting ourselves on the back for not becoming crack ho’s at an early age. I fully intend to force her and her awesome husband, Rigel, to be friends with me. Hey, I apparently already bossed her into adding me to her blogroll so a full blown friendship can’t be out of my grasp.

There were other bloggers there as well such as The Red Stapler. Let me just tell you that her Stapler is very aggressive. I’m just saying it texted me all the way home. Back off Red, I’m married.

Obviously there were other bloggers there that I’d heard of but never met and who definitely didn’t have faces just for blogging – 8 Centimeters Deluded comes to mind plus Debra from Write Write Baby!

Did I mention how much cheese I ate?

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 4, 2007 8:36 pmUncategorized15 comments  

Please Help me Welcome my Guest Blogger Britney Spears!

Oh ma Gawd, Hi Y’all. It’s me Brit Brit. Puleese don’t tell anybody that AH am blawging on my BFF Stefanie’s blog today. I don’t need everybody and more everybody like all up in my bizness and all. Stef let me come on here today because ah reeeally wanted to tell all ma mama friends (in case you missed ma letter of truth) that ah am doing FINE!

Why can’t ah make people see that? It’s like the second they see me with ma gold razor chopping up fine lines of Oxycontin they think I’m crazy as a loon (swallowin’ it whole is so May and it’s June now. I mean maybe not today but tomorrow. GOD why is everyone always taking me to task for small things like mistaking the last day of may for June or trying to start a knife fight in the cafeteria at Promises? It’s like…everyone is just out to get me…LOL :P)

Anyway y’all, I just really wanted to say that I’m so happy for the blessings ah have in ma life. Like for instance my little sister Hayley. Wait up – oh my GAWD I get so confused. Hayley is Hillary Duff’s sister. I think mine is called Jamie or Lynn or Jamie Lynn or Lynn Jamie and I think she has a show of her own! You go girl! Or that might be Hillary’s sister. But who cares? She’s so rad cuz she’s related to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just so honored to be here on a Mommy Blog cause guess what y’all? I’m a momma! Times two! They may not be in ma custody but them boo boos are in my heart –as well as Kevin’s videos. But Kev will always have a special place in ma heart same as Justin, Jason, Howie Day, and that latest skanky dude you may have seen me in pictures with. Oh and that one guy (or guys) in the Spider Man costume I made sweet sweet love to in the bathroom at Hyde the other night. They are all awesome daddies to ma babies.

So that’s it. Just wanted to check in and tell all my fans how great I’m doing despite horrible rumors to the contrary. Do NOT believe everything you read about me or hear. Like I did not, under any circumstances spray Lindsay Lohan in the face with a bottle of Raid at Skybar around 4 a.m. the other night before I was carried out in a puddle of my own sick. It was Aqua Net. That is soooooo different. And ah wasn’t passed out face down in an order of Macho Nachos at Del Taco a week ago. I was just having a tiny nap before checking in with ma parole officer. SO IT’S ALL GOOD.

So let me give a shout out to Dooce for letting me guest here and get the word out.

I mean for ma money, Dooce is the best there is!!!!!!! I love her. I’m going to link to her on my website. Oh wait, this blog is someone named Stefanie. Oh well. Thanks anyway.

Love and xxxxoooooooooooooxxxxooo

Brit

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 1, 2007 3:12 amUncategorized12 comments  


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